This page began as a gift from Emily to her Mom on our 2nd Mother's Day without Luke, May of 2002.
The background and everything down until the sunrays was created by Emily.
THE BOUQUET
.....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
I saw her in the distance
And with the morn,
those angel faces smile
which I have loved long since,
and lost awhile
Know that Luke will always
be near to his Mom on this
Mother's Day
and all days to come
As she was kneeling down to pray.
Tightly clutching a bunch of flowers
That she brought for Mother's day.
The sun was just arising
Casting shadows on the ground.
As she cried there at the headstone
There was no one else around.
She arranged the flowers in the vase,
Blew a kiss from her trembling hand.
Then she turned her eyes to heaven
Saying "Please help me understand."
I watched as teardrops trickled down
And fell upon her lone bouquet.
I knew that she was hurting
So I gently wiped her tears away.
She shuttered when she felt my touch
Because she thought she was alone.
So I wrapped my arms around her
Right there at that granite stone.
I heard her sigh and saw a smile
Appear on her tear stained face.
She was glad that I had joined her
At this final resting place.
She stared fixated on the stone,
The proof her child no more remains.
Her lips whispered what was engraved
As she sadly read... my name.
© 2007 - Christine Ross
PAIN IS THE PRICE
.....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
A young girl labored to give birth,
Not so long ago, one day.
To bring her son into this world.....
Pain was the price she had to pay.
When she gazed upon his tiny face,
All pain vanished from within,
Her pain no longer lingered,
She was with her little man.
He grew so fast, the years went by,
Then off to school he went.
Her pain came back, a different kind,
Caused from a heart that's bent.
As time went on his mother found,
That this pain too will pass.
Just by the glow upon his face,
As he told of his day in class.
He learned to deal with illness,
And forgiveness was in his heart.
She saw his unconditional love,
And her pain began to part.
There were many times he struggled,
Through illness and unfairness of life.
It pained her so to see him hurt,
He shouldn't have such strife.
Then, one day, school was over,
And her little man was grown.
Her pain returned the day he left,
To set out on his own.
He worked so hard and did the things,
That made his mother smile.
Her pain had vanished once again,
He was happy for awhile.
Then one dark and lonely night,
God took him from her hands.
Her pain came back, an unknown pain,
That she could not understand.
She knows her son is waiting,
They'll walk hand in hand someday.
But, until the day they reunite.....
Pain is the price she has to pay.
© Christine Ross - 2002
THANK YOU MOM
....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
Thank you Mom for giving me life,
When you were just a young girl,
Enduring the pain of childbirth,
As I entered into this world.
Thank you Mom for enjoying our time,
All those years I was growing up.
I always felt so safe with you,
Even when life became tough.
Thank you Mom for believing in me,
And respecting me as a man.
Please know it wasn't all in vain,
God just had another plan.
Thank you Mom for helping me cross
To my journey the night that I died.
We were never really apart,
In my heart you were right by my side.
Thank you Mom for trusting your dream,
When I came to tell you goodbye,
Even though you don't understand it,
Mom, I needed your help to die.
Thank you Mom for realizing with faith,
That when I drew my final breath,
My soul continued to live on.
Love can't be destroyed by death.
Thank you Mom for shedding those tears,
When you thought that no one knew.
But you were never crying alone,
I was there to help you through.
Thank you Mom for being aware
That my presence survives and is strong.
I didn't leave, I'm still right here,
Only from sight am I gone.
Thank you Mom for working so hard,
To keep my memory alive,
By sharing with people everywhere,
That my spirit didn't die.
Thank you Mom for listening to me,
As you write down these heartfelt lines,
Knowing I speak directly to you,
Through memories and thoughts in your mind.
Thank you Mom for understanding your heart,
So that even in death I can say.....
"I love you Mom, forevermore,
And I'll be with you on Mother's Day".
© 2002 - Christine Ross
THOSE HANDS
.....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
Those little hands that clutched my finger,
When you were just a baby boy,
Those gooey hands that touched my face,
And somehow gave me so much joy.
Those dirty hands that made their mark,
Upon the walls and upon my heart,
Those busy hands that worked with love,
To make that special Mother's Day card.
Those talented hands that filled my ears,
With music that came from your soul,
Those excited hands that took control,
Of the wheel at sixteen years old.
Those gentle hands that comforted me,
When life was too much to bear,
Those strong hands that held me close,
When it seemed that no one else cared.
Those cold cold hands that I warmly touched,
When your body was absent of life,
Those spiritual hands that call to me,
As I dream of you all through the night.
I'll never forget those hands of yours,
The ones that made my life worth while,
I'll reach out to hold them again,
When I've finished that last weary mile.
© 2005 - Christine Ross
THE SPACE BETWEEN
.....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
"The day I was born and the day that I died
Are the beginning and end of a dream.
But the days that really matter the most
Are the days in the space between."
"I remember the lullabies that you sang
And the bottles, and diapers, and tears.
Warm cuddles and kisses all through the night
And your sweet whispers in my ears."
"Swing me real high, want you Mommy?
Kiss me and sister night-night.
Mommy I wanna help, please let me help.
My tricycle fits me just right."
"Momma, see what I made at school today!
Look, Daddy taught me to ride my bike.
I like my teacher, but not more than you.
I tore my pants, Momma, I got in a fight."
"Guess what Mom, I have a girlfriend.
Look, I made you something in shop.
I've really got a lot of cool friends now,
See ya Mom, I'll be down at the bus stop."
"Hey Mom, I've got a date for the dance.
Wow, driving a car is really cool.
Look, Mom I got my first real paycheck.
I can't wait to graduate from school."
"Damn Mom, college is really tough.
My choir sings next week, can you come?
I really like my new apartment.
I can't wait till I turn twenty one."
"Mom, is it okay if I move home for awhile?
My birthday in Vegas was fun.
It's nice at home with you and Dad.
It's hard to believe that I'm twenty one."
"I love my new car and I like my new job.
Life seems to finally be going my way.
I'll take care of things while you're gone, Mom.
Have a good time, see ya in a few days."
"Goodbye Mom, I really love you a lot.
Thanks so much for all the good years.
I'm so sorry that I had to leave you.
I know that you'll cry many tears."
"Mom, I came to you one autumn day
And I left you in the early spring.
What I want you to remember the most
Are the days in the space between."
© 2002 Christine Ross
RED ROSES
.....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
When Luke was a little fellow, for Mother's day
he gave me a plastic butter dish filled with plaster,
which held up some little artificial RED ROSES.
A
gift he had made at school.
Once from Santa's secret shop at school
Luke
bought me a RED ROSE necklace.
I still have it.
When Luke became a
teenager, and started dating,
he loved to give his girlfriends RED ROSES.
The girlfriends that he had through the years
were always made to feel special by that
simple RED ROSE from Luke.
Luke would be known to drive to where
his girlfriend worked and leave a red rose
under her windshield wiper,
or place a red rose next to her plate at a restaurant.
For prom night, he covered the passenger side
of the car with RED ROSE
petals,
and brought his date a dozen RED ROSES.
When Luke died... Robin, Emily, and I
each placed a single RED ROSE
next to Luke's urn at his service.
We then realized what an impact Luke had
made
on his friends with his gifts of RED ROSES through the years,
because
several of them, when they entered the chapel
for Luke's service, walked up
to the front
and placed a single RED ROSE next to Luke's urn.
I love you
Luke and thanks for all the memories
of RED ROSES that you have placed upon
so many hearts.
© 2002 Christine Ross
LUKE'S NEW JOB
....by Robin Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
(this poem was a gift to me from Robin on our 2nd Mother's Day without Luke)
Ever since I was very young,
There's always been things to do.
Learn to walk, learn to talk,
Learn to tie my shoe.
Be polite, play nice with friends,
Luke, is your homework almost done?
Drive carefully tonight when you pick her up,
And I hope that you have lots of fun.
Being a kid is the best in the world,
The things to do are really great.
I'll take my time and enjoy the ride,
It won't matter if I'm late.
Then I grew up... with jobs and work.
Do this, do that, I'm always told.
I always seem to work for some jerk,
Real friends are few, some friends are cold.
Then one night this job offer came.....
"THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS TO BE DONE.
LOTS OF TRAVEL AND NEW THINGS TO SEE.
I PROMISE THAT YOU'LL HAVE FUN."
"THIS JOB IS DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS,
AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO TRAVEL TOO FAR.
BUT YOUR FORM WILL CHANGE AND YOUR SPIRIT WILL GROW.
SO, LUKE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?"
"YOUR NEW JOB WILL BE TO HELP OTHERS,
AND YOU'LL BE WORKING ALL DAY LONG.
BUT THERE WILL BE NO MONEY WORRIES,
WITH THIS JOB THAT DOESN'T BELONG."
"LUKE, THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL JOB,
THAT I NEED JUST THE RIGHT PERSON TO FILL.
I KNOW YOU'RE THE PERFECT MAN FOR THE JOB,
ALL YOUR LIFE YOU'VE BEEN PERFECTING THIS SKILL."
"YOUR WORK WILL BE ALL OVER,
ON THE EARTH AND IN THE SKY,
BUT TO THE ONES YOU LOVE ON EARTH,
LUKE, YOU WILL HAVE TO DIE."
"HERE'S A GLIMPSE OF WHERE YOU'LL BE WORKING,
SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE OVER HERE,
YOU SEE, IT'S BEAUTY BEYOND ALL BELIEF,
AND YOU CAN VISIT THOSE BACK OVER THERE."
"I'LL GIVE YOU THIS OFFER IN WRITING.
THE ONE THAT WAS MADE SO LONG AGO,
WRITTEN IN MY SON'S BLOOD ON THE CROSS.
LUKE, ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU'RE READY TO GO?"
Yes, I've seen what its like and where I will be,
And I'm ready to start right away,
But first there's someone I must go see,
And something that I must go say.
Mom, I'm so very excited.
I've got this great new job to do.
But I have to start it right away,
So I must say goodbye to you.
I know you will cry and be sad that I'm gone,
But it's the greatest job I can imagine.
No pay, no hours, no stress, no worries,
You see Mom, my new job is in heaven.
So when you cry and when you're sad,
Just remember what I'm going to do.
I'm going to help others everywhere,
Mom, just like I always wanted to.
When all those special days come around,
And it makes you so down and blue,
Just think of me mom, for as your son,
My biggest job is to love you.
© 2002 - Robin Ross
I'VE SEEN AN ANGEL
(this poem was a framed gift to me from Emily and Luke for Mother's Day 1999)
"You say you've seen an angel?"
My friend asked me today.
Without a hesitation, "Yes,
I have seen one," I say.
He said, "What does she look like?
Is there a halo and some wings?"
"No", I replied quickly,
"She doesn't have those things."
"She does have, the warmest smile,
And is loving like no other.
"I ought to know," I said,
"for this angel, is my mother."
author unknown
WE USED TO
.....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
We used to sit and watch
As the sun would fade away,
Right there in the backyard,
But that was another day.
We used to hug each other
As you left and said goodbye,
Right there on the front porch,
But that was before you died.
We used to laugh together
Watching something on TV,
Right there in the family room,
But that was before you had to leave.
We used to have those special talks
As you shared your heart and soul,
Right there on the patio,
But that was so long ago.
We used to sing together
As your music you would play,
Right there in your bedroom,
But that was some yesterday.
We used to dry each others tears
When someone broke your heart,
Right there on the sofa,
But that was before we were apart.
We used to sing happy birthday
As you blew candles with one breath,
Right there in the kitchen,
But that was before you left.
We used to open presents
As the tree was lit up bright,
Right there by the fireplace,
But that was before that night.
We used to say goodnight Luke
With that kiss upon your cheek,
Right there in the lighted hall,
But that was before your final sleep.
We used to do a lot of things
That we no longer do,
Right there in that "other" life,
But that's when I had you.
© 2004 - Christine Ross
I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU TODAY
.....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
I thought about you today
as I awoke to your flickering candle
entering another day without you here.
I thought about you today
as I heard the train whistle in the distance
remembering the sound of your sweet voice.
I thought about you today
as I walked through your memorial garden
wishing that your stone was not among the flowers.
I thought about you today
as I made my way down the long drive
wanting to find a letter from you in the mailbox.
I thought about you today
as I felt a tear gentle arrive on my face
hoping that you know how much I miss you.
I thought about you today
as I watched the rain dance across the sky
wondering if you were up there dancing too.
I thought about you today
as I caught the scent of the pine trees
imagining that we were camping in the woods.
I thought about you today
as I breathed in and then released a sigh
knowing that you are only a breath away.
I thought about you today
as I cleaned the dishes in the sink
longing to wash a plate you had eaten from.
I thought about you today
as I took a sip of cool clear water
realizing that you will never thirst again.
I thought about you today
as I quietly shut the blinds at sunset
desiring to talk with you at the close of day.
I thought about you today
as I fell asleep to your flickering candle
entering another night without you here.
© 2005 - Christine Ross
AUTOGRAPH
.....by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001
Your name was etched upon my heart,
When you first journeyed down this path.
You came into my life to live.
You touched me... with your autograph.
And then with crayons on the wall,
So secretly you placed your name.
No famous artist's works compare,
Although your autograph was plain.
Home from school with special papers,
So proudly placed upon the fridge.
Your writings and your works of art.
Your autograph along the edge.
Then came the essays and reports,
Employment and applications,
Greeting cards that you signed with love,
Your autograph, your foundation.
Your name, still etched upon my heart,
Again you journey down that path.
You left my life for worlds unknown.
You touch me... with your autograph.
© 2004 - Christine Ross
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