*PLEASE WAIT FOR PAGE TO LOAD*

BringerOfLight

2013

BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTERS




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter






Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

THE SILENCE OF THE COLD DARKNESS

A winter night is cold and dark and silent. Well, at least it usually is.

When Luke was six years old and our daughter Emily was eight years old, and we were living in Louisiana, we all took our very first ski trip to Winter Park, Colorado in January. I had searched all the pamphlets for fun family things for us to do in the snow.

The first thing we did was to enroll in Ski School. Emily and Luke went to their little ski class on the slopes and Robin (Luke's dad) and I went to our adult ski class. After several hours of trying to learn to ski the instructor took us to a small slope, which then we did not realize was the children's slope.... AKA the 'bunny slope'. We, the adult class members, received instructions to ski down the hill. After only one morning of instruction we all arrogantly thought we were now 'seasoned' skiers until most everyone in our class began falling and running into each other and tumbling down the hill. I'm sure it was a funny sight to see from a distance. But it wasn't very funny to us because we were all trying to look like we 'knew' what we were doing. So there we all were laying on the ground when the "children's ski school" came flying past us looking like they had skied for years. As Emily and Luke passed us while we were laying on the ground you could hear the little sarcastic remarks of "Hey momma!" and "Hey daddy!" followed by little giggles. (It took many years to live that moment down.) But finally we ALL learned how to ski and had a great time on the slopes.

At night we went snow tubing. It was so much fun slipping down that tubing hill and just sailing across the ice. We also went ice skating and I had the bruises to prove it. Saucer sledding was an amazingly fast way to get from the top of the sledding hill to the bottom and Robin and I went faster than the kids because the more you weigh the faster you go. Oh how Emily and Luke laughed at us as we screamed down that hill. Building a snowman was a real treat for the kids and we dressed him up proudly and named him Ned.

The most memorable experience of the trip was a horse-drawn sleight ride through the woods at night. This was an activity that I had researched and we all really wanted to experience 'dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh'. When we arrived at the meeting place for the sleigh ride there were about twenty other people who had also reserved the sleigh ride for that very same night. The anticipation was wonderful and we were all filled with excitement for our trip through the woods in a real horse-drawn sleigh. When we all boarded the sleigh the temperature outside was about 10 degrees and the night was black. There were no stars or no moon that could be seen. We all sat there shivering in the dark waiting for the sleigh ride to begin. Everyone on the sleigh ride looked very cold. Huddled together was our little family of four trying to stay warm. The ride finally began and bells on the sleigh were jingling as we rode deep into the woods. It was so dark that we could not even see our hands in front of our faces. There was deep snow everywhere that could only be seen up ahead with the help of the faint light from the lantern on the front of the sleigh. It was extremely cold. I looked up at the rest of the people on the sleigh ride and could see that they were freezing too. I expected to experience "laughing all the way", but everyone on the sleigh ride was silent, not making a sound.... all focusing on trying to keep warm just as we were. It was a very miserable ride and we had all paid a lot to take this "winter wonderland sleigh ride." After what seemed like a very, very long ride, the sleigh finally pulled up to a clearing in the woods. The sleigh stopped and the driver got out and proceeded to build a campfire as we all unloaded from the sleigh but still no one was saying a word. Everyone was in a circle around the campfire area while we were waiting anxiously for this driver to get the darn fire built. Still no one was talking and the only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of shivering bones and chattering teeth. After several minutes, but what seemed like hours, of this dark bone chilling and very uncomfortably silence .... comes the sound of a six-year-old sarcastic little voice that echoed throughout the forest, delivered by none other than our Luke......"Are we having fun yet?" The silence was immediately broken by the laughter of EVERYONE there including the driver. After that everyone began talking, the driver got the fire going, and before we knew it we all were sipping on hot cocoa as the sound of laughter and talking drifted through that cold winter sky in the darkness of woods. If it hadn't been for that one little statement, coming from one little boy, the entire WILDERNESS WINTER WONDERLAND EXPERIENCE would have been a disaster. Everyone left feeling as though they had a wonderful time.

These memories of that first snowy vacation will forever remind my heart, my mind, and my soul that life was good. Luke had a way of making us all laugh through his entire twenty-one years that he was on this earth. Since Luke died sometimes it feels exactly as it did on that sleigh ride so long ago.... no laughter, no warmth, and no light. When that feeling surrounds me I search for hope and I search for Luke. I just have to remember to laugh at the memories, be warmed by the spirit, and to come out of the darkness and look to the light that will forever shine upon us all from that happy, warm, and bright Heavenly home that will someday be ours too.

© 2012 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001






WINTER'S INSOMNIA

It's late, I'm tired, but I can't sleep.
The stars must still be out.
The moon is probably shining bright.
But I'm locked up in the house.

Energy escapes me now
To even look out through the glass.
I wonder if the world exists,
Or if this night will ever pass.

There's no one here to talk to
So I stare at lifeless walls.
I see his urn upon the shelf
But it makes no sense at all.

Where is the boy that used to be?
Is he here or is he there?
Now my mind is wandering
To the places that I fear.

A single thought from long ago
Reminding me of his death.
I try so hard to block it out
This thing that took his breath.

I need to think of something else
To try and find some peace.
All these thoughts are haunting me.
I guess I'll never get to sleep.

I try to focus only on
The memories that are good
But this old grief gets in the way,
I don't remember what I should

I know it must be dark outside
With Winter's chilling cold.
The night is all around me
As I sit here growing old.

My body aches, my mind is weak,
I'm weary and I'm drained.
Tears are falling down my cheeks
And my heart is filled with pain.

I'd like to lay my head down
And journey to the place of dreams
Where I can go to where he is
Far away from inner screams.

Winter is sleeping quietly
Beyond the window panes
But inside I am wide awake
Where thoughts of death remain.

With all these things to tire me
It seems that sleep would come.
But grief has altered everything
And my night has just begun.


© 2012 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001




Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

SONG FOR A WINTER'S NIGHT

"Song for a Winter's Night" is the title of a song written by Gordon Lightfoot, and first recorded for his 1967 album. It is one of his most beautiful love songs. Unlike all his other rerecordings, Lightfoot uses a different guitar and playing style in the rerecording. Interestingly, Song For A Winter's Night was not written during the winter with the snow falling; instead, it was written in July, during a thunderstorm, in Cleveland, OH! Lightfoot enjoys telling this story, and occasionally does so as an introduction to the song in concert.

source: Wikipedia






SONG FOR A WINTER'S NIGHT

The lamp is burniní low upon my table top
The snow is softly falliní
The air is still within the silence of my room
I hear your voice softly calliní
If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you

The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead
My glass is almost empty
I read again between the lines upon the page
The words of love you sent me

If I could know within my heart
That you were lonely too
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you

The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim
The shades of night are liftiní
The morniní light steals across my windowpane
Where webs of snow are driftiní

If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
And to be once again with with you
To be once again with with you


~ Words & music by Gordon Lightfoot 1967









ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/2001
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene - Danny's Mom

: My dear sweet Danny,

Jan. 10th - 2013 will be 12 years since you've gone home to Heaven. I really can't say the years have eased the pain. I've just learned how to live with it. You are so missed !!! We keep your name present at every family gathering. Even the little ones "know" you through all the Danny stories we tell. You will ALWAYS be part of the family chain. My only comfort is knowing you're in Heaven with Grandma and all the other relatives that have crossed over. And your friendship with Luke is remarkable....with all the signs and little 'hello's' you send. One thing is for certain....time is passing by quicker each year and we are all one step closer to being with you again. Oh, what a celebration it will be. We will all be thinking of you on your "Heaven" date, sending up our love and messages via balloons. The little ones swear they see you grabbing "their balloon" first. LOL Who knows, maybe they see something we don't.

LOVE YOU MY PRECIOUS SON. Mom XXX ( ) ( ) ( )

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Joseph Quinn
AGE: 21
DATES: 1/1/87-12/16/08
CAUSE:
WRITTEN BY: Mary Jo Landers - Mom

: January 1st my sweet son Danny would of been 26 years old. The last birthday we got to celebrate with him was his 21st. He was so happy to turn 21. "Mom, I am finally legal." is all he would say. I never did understand that because he always had fake ID. He died 2 weeks shy of his 22nd birthday. I remember 26 years ago like it was yesterday. New Years Day, the best way anyone could spend ringing in the New Year. A beautiful baby boy was born. It has been 4 years since I have seen, spoken to, hugged or kissed that beautiful man he grew into. Happy 26th Birthday in Heaven to my sweet son Danny. Till we see each other again, you will continue to live on in my heart and all my fond memories.

Love you to the moon and back.

IN MEMORY OF: Shannon David Burns
AGE: 33
DATES: 1/2/1976 to 10/30/2009
CAUSE: Blunt force trauma to the head from a fall at work
WRITTEN BY: Christine (Shannon's Mom)

: My son, Shannon was born January 2, 1976 and weighed 2 lbs 13 Ounces. He was 3 months premature. He was our first child and being new parents, we thought everything was going to be fine. I can remember his Dad holding him in the palm of his hand. His entire body fit in that large hand. What a tiny miracle!

Shannon grew into a 6 foot, handsome young man with so many talents. He had the ability to draw, paint, woodworking and iron work. I treasure his art portfolio I still have. But most of all, Shannon grew into a very simple, caring person. He touched so many lives. You could call him in the middle of the night to fix a flat tire and be would willing go and give you a hand. Never complaining. Just a big smile and a warm hug. I look back now on his life and realize he has taught us how to live and help others. We all get caught up in our busy lives and do not often stop to help others out. We try to do this more often now and it warms the heart. To live unselfishly is a wonderful way to live. He taught me that material things do not matter. Gifts from the heart are life's true treasure.

Happy birthday in heaven this year! We miss you all the time but are so blessed you came into our life!

Christine (Shannon's Mom)

IN MEMORY OF: Christine Marie Klein
AGE: 27
DATES: 1/20/75 - 2/26/02
CAUSE: suicide
AUTHOR: Brigid - Christine's Mom

: Ten years...a million tears. I still miss her in my bones, and will...until we meet again.




QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories."
- Anonymous

MEMBER QUOTE:

"It is only these memories that keep me going"
~ Helen Logie

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Robert Dennis (Bobby) Digan
AGE: 18 yrs
DATES: 3/23/73 - 3/23/91
CAUSE: Special Needs Child and mistake in surgury
WRITTEN BY: Loving Dad and Mom

: Bobby and Daddy went out for lunch, Daddy took a bit of of his sandwich and some dripped drown on his shirt. With his big blue eyes BOBBY looked up at his Dad and said, "You Slob Daddy" They both laughed and Dad still tells that story today.

Love Dad and Mom






LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene

: My Dear Danny,

First of all....I need to tell you how VERY much you are missed. You are so loved. I always dread when the holidays come around because that was the beginning of the end of your life. It started on election day in the year 2000. You were scheduled for a hip replacement which I tried so hard to talk you out of. The years of chemo. and radiation, put your body in constant pain and your bones became so brittle. But you were determined to fight this dreaded disease to the end....and you wanted to walk again...so off you went to N.Y.U. Medical Center and you had your surgery. And so, the next several weeks was filled with disappointments and pain. First we were told you needed rehab. to try and learn how to walk again, but that all the bones in your body were deteriorating, but you tried every day to take a few steps with a walker. You fell many times, but the "courage" you had got you up to try 'one more time'. You never did walk again. The cancer had invaded your body and the oncologist said we needed to make a decision. Keep on fighting and slowly watch you have unbearable pain as more bones would crumble, OR stop all medication and treatments except for pain meds. to keep you comfortable. We didn't tell you that the cancer spread. You begged me to take you home for Thanksgiving but the doctor said you needed to be monitored 24/7 in case you went into an emergency situation from all the pain meds. and the aburupt discontinued use of your cancer meds. My heart was breaking and I didn't know what to do. I told you I'd come to stay with you for Thanksgiving in the hospital, which I did. Then Christmas was just weeks away. I promised you at one time to bring you home to die, when time started running out. I was determined to keep that promise. On Christmas Eve, all the family came to the hospital. The doctor said it was just a matter of time. Danny's mind was all confused because the cancer invaded his brain. As a family, we made the decision to get you home. The doctor said you probably wouldn't survive the trip home. Then we were unable to get an ambulance until the day after Christmas. So, I stayed with you and the rest of the family went home to get your room ready. They carted your bed into the shed, and had a hospital bed brought in. Hospice was called and they said they would come to evaluate you but that it would be a few days before they were able to send an aide as they were overloaded during the holidays. We brought you home and you couldn't believe it. "Where am I"...you asked. Danny !!! Who else would paint their walls GOLD. You're home. You smiled and relaxed and slept. The next day, you rallied....you begain eating, watching TV, and friends came to visit. You thought they were just visiting you for the Christmas Holiday but THEY knew they were saying their "Good-byes". You hung in there for 15 days. I kept my promise and you died at home with all the family surrounding you, illuminating your journey the light of our love. So, my dear boy....you see how difficult these months are as I re-live this sadness year after year, Christmas after Christmas. So, I sit here and allow the tears to flow freely as I write you this letter. I long to hear your voice and feel your loving hugs.

I love you, I love you, I love you. "Sleep in Heavenly Peace". ~ Mom XXX ( ) ( ) ( )



LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Laurie Michelle Baer
AGE: 16
DATES: October 31 1976 ~ December 4, 1992
CAUSE: Died during open heart surgery to 'fix' a congenital heart defect
WRITTEN BY: Shirley Baer, Laurie's mommy

: Laurie was born on 10-31-76 at 1 a.m., Sunday morning, the morning they turned the clocks back. I never quite knew the exact time she was born because of that. She was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect at six weeks of age, went into congestive heart failure at nine weeks, had a pulmonary bypass at five years of age, started having arrhythmia in Dec 1997 at the age of 11. She was a beautiful baby and grew up to be a beautiful young lady. She attended regular school but was limited in her physical activities. She was an honor student and in the Junior Honor Society. She was very sweet and compassionate and loved animals.. She wanted to be a veterinarian when she grew up. I never heard her say a cross word about anyone even if they deserved it. When she was 14 I was told there was a surgery for her that could have been done where we live if i had inquired about it four years earlier that she would have to go out of state to get it. On December 3 1992 we went to Boston Children's Hospital, were told that the fontane procedure that we were sent for they could not do but they would do another one that was better. She died on the operating table.




POETRY:



IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins
WRITTEN BY: Arlene (Dannys Mom)

: January 10, 2013
Danny

Twelve years have passed - it can't be true.
It seems that just a while ago....I was holding you,
Telling you everything will be alright
Staying by your side each day and night.

Rubbing your hands, your feet, your face -
Praying for Gods peace, His Mercy and Grace.
The New Year has passed - you're not here with me
This emptiness in my heart...will always be.

I sometimes wish I could hop in the car
Drive into Manhattan...THAT'S WHERE YOU ARE !!!
Each dawn brings new hope - one day closer I'll be
To being with you --- for all eternity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Until I am with you in Heaven, I will carry you close to my heart....you're in my mind & in my soul. Stay close to me always with your gentle spirit. I miss you so very much, my sweet son. My love for you is so strong, that even death could never break that bond. God's love is with both of us.

Peace & blessings - Mom

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins
WRITTEN BY: Arlene (Dannys Mom)

: It's a New Year

The ball came down - it's a brand New Year
Everyone's toasting with champagne & beer.
And all I can think of - are all those who cry
Praying to God - and asking WHY?

The people I know who are fighting to live
Those filled with anger, trying hard to forgive
Those who are grieving, hearts filled with pain
Those who are lonely, their tears fall like rain.

Can't turn off my thoughts, I toss & I turn,
My mind is filled with so much concern.
Don't know what to do, don't know what to say,
Is God really listening when I kneel and pray?

I ask Him to bring His comfort to all,
His love to their hearts, and peace to their soul.
I ask Him to make their tears go away
Bring hope to their lives.....these things I pray.

Amen

(Love, Arlene)




SIGNS:


IN MEMORY OF: Jason Christopher Dunn
AGE: 22
DATES: June 5, 1974 - March 13, 1997
CAUSE: Playing with a gun
WRITTEN BY: Susie Jason's Mom

: The first contact I had with Jason after his passing was within a couple of days. We were trying to get his clothes out quickly because there was an unhappy landlord breathing down our necks. He didn't want to let us in to get anything.... and since Lad our Son(Jason's brother) had to kick in the door to get inside.... we couldn't keep anyone out either..... so with the help of the local law enforcement we were allowed to get Jason's things out. First night...2 good friends went there to get the "big items" things we knew would not be there in the morning.... they pushed the sofa against the door from the inside. The police office talk to the landlord. As far as we know...he didn't go in that night. After that it was padlocked by the police for safe keeping. The next day we had all of the arraignments to make..... so I'm thinking it was day 2 we went get the rest of Jason's things. Seeing us there the landlord came down to harass us... he was a despicable little person... he thought it was just me and my sister in law carrying out things... so he felt brave.... so after he came and ran his mouth Lad and my brother Gene came out and told him to get as fast as possible...which he did... after that he didn't drive by or anything... so I'm not sure what was all said... at that point...I didn't care...

We had gotten all that we could see of Jason's and I kept hearing.... "KEEP LOOKING" It just kept going round in my head...... so I kept looking....and not finding more... everyone else was waiting on me to leave...but I couldn't until I found what it was I was suppose to find..... so I kept looking....then just as I was ready to give up... I was in the bedroom....and it keep coming faster.... keep looking....keep looking... so finally up on the very top shelf of the closet... I felt something... I was finally able to grab a small corner of it.....and I pulled down... Jason's bunny rabbit blanket. It was his favorite blanket from when he was born... he always took care of bunny rabbit blanket... I didn't even know he had it there.... as soon as I found it....

the voice in my head stopped..... I knew I could leave then.






IN THEIR OWN WORDS:

written or said by our children





IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/2001
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene - Danny's Mom

: Last month's newsletter had a song "I'll be home for Christmas" which has so much meaning for me. When Danny was in the hospital (one of the many times)... they had a piano player come in to play Christmas Carols. My sister Evelyn was with me and we wheeled Danny down to the room where the Christmas Festivities were being held for the patients. Danny was very uncomfortable and in pain but he tolerated it - I believe for my sake. We sang along with the music, and when this song came on, "I'll be home for Christmas" - Danny grabbed my hand and squeezed it. The tears just fell. Then he said "Mom, please can I go back to my room"....and we took him back. He never did get home for Christmas....but I was able to get an ambulance to bring him home the day after Christmas. He hung in there and was able to be with us for New Year's Eve...2001. Those days will be ever be etched in my heart.

Arlene (Danny's Mom)




SPECIAL MEMORIES:





IN MEMORY OF: Dominic Michael Campano
AGE: 17
DATES: B 01-29-91 D 6-10-08
CAUSE: GSWM
WRITTEN BY: Susan Campano-Readel

: A special memory I have of Dominic:

He was a young boy, probably 6 years old, and he had just been doing something he was not allowed to do. As I was telling him what he did wrong and what his punishment was to be, I said, just remember I love you no matter what, and he said "Even when I'm bad?" and I said Of course, no matter what. The look of bewilderment and disbelief that came over his face and his body language was both endearing and sad at the same time. He just could not believe that he was loved unconditionally. He even repeated it; "even when I'm bad, you still love me?" and I had to reassure him that NO MATTER WHAT I loved him. Always. Sad to think that maybe that was the beginning of his emotional problems, but who would've known way back then. I will never forget that moment. I was so glad to reassure him and let him know that I always would love him. Always. I hope he believed me.






OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:





IN MEMORY OF: Colin Rivans Stephens
AGE: 22
DATES: September 2, 1976 - March 29, 1999
WRITTEN BY: His mum, Alice

Letter from my mum back in 1976... Just reminiscing tonight..

Sat. Sept. 4th (1976)

Dear Alice and Jerry,

Marvelous, wonderful... I am so happy. Daddy and I have kept reading the cablegram. Oh my, I can't believe it, oh I wish I could be there with all my heart I do. I can't stop crying, I just am a nervous wreck, can image how you both feel! My hands are shaking writing this, I feel so emotional. Alice, I hope you didn't have too bad a time. I hope you're all right now. It's funny, I knew you were pregnant, but oh now you're a mother of this wee boy, well I am overwhelmed. Our wee girl Alice, I don't know how many times I've had to go into the kitchen for paper towels as I can't stop crying. I even couldn't get to read the piece of paper for tears gushing all over the place, I am still shaking like a leaf 8 lbs 11 ounces, he must be beautiful and you named him Colin Rivans Stephens, we're both thrilled at his second name is ours. Jerry, you're such a good person, we know you'll take care of Alice, we love her so much. Jerry, you'll feel over the moon at being a daddy, congratulations. Please write and tell us more about wee Colin. We're glad it's all over, you've no idea the tension we've had waiting. We'll go to the post office right after I finish this to send you both a cablegram. I've all my friends at work to phone too. Donald and Irene were just talking about you both yesterday. This is just great news, I don't know how to express my feelings, if only I was there to kiss him and hold him tenderly, it's so far. I can hardly wait till next summer to see him. We're sending him a cheque soon Jerry and will put it in your name to cash it.

I must rush as daddy's getting impatient. This morning, daddy shouted up the stairs, "Coffee hen?" I didn't answer then he shouted, "Coffee grandma!" I jumped like a lion shouting, "What did you call me? Are you joking?" "No" he said. Oh Tony did it come, I nearly knocked him down standing there on the stairs with 2 cups of coffee, then I couldn't read it, "Oh where's my glasses Tony" - he had them there beside it but I couldn't even see them. This is the best news we've had after all the strain waiting. Take care and Jerry write more about everything, when is Alice coming out of the hospital? Take a wee photo of Colin as soon as you possibly can. We love you both and now we have another child to love. Give him lots of love and kisses from grandpa and grandma Rivans. I still am crying. This is wonderful. A birth is always beautiful, but when part of it is yours it's more than just that. I'll close now and I'll write again but I would like to hear all your news so please write soon. Daddy's gong to write tomorrow. Lots and lots of love to the 3 of you.

Mum and daddy..xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx






MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE.....





IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/1-/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene (Danny's Mom)

: January 10th ~ in honor of Danny Forrester

This will be the 12th year since you left this earth. I will go to Mass and light your memorial candle. As a family, we will gather and tell "Danny" stories. After all these years, it is easier to laugh at your antics and the humor you brought to our lives....yet the tears still flow because of how much we miss you.

Peace my son....peace.






QUESTION: HOW HAS DEATH CHANGED YOU?





IN MEMORY OF: Geoffrey Philip James Edwards
AGE: 18
DATES: 6 May 1984 - 22 May 2002
CAUSE: Heroin overdose given by a "friend"
WRITTEN BY: Karen Lyn Jenkins

: How has my Angel Geoff's death changed my life? I remember looking forward to the future and being content and happy. I remember the great love I harbored for my son, Geoffrey Philip James Edwards. I remember how I was just content and felt that my life had such wonderful meaning and that I would one day have grandchildren of my genetic code. I don't have that any more but I do have a great, great faith in God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus. I had that before my Geoff died but I have it much more now. I know that evil killed my son, not God. I know that there is evil in this world more so than I once did. I have a deep, soul sucking pain in my heart that will never go away. I sometimes feel that I am just waiting to pass from this earth and then my life will again have meaning. Time does not seem to make the pain any easier to deal with; it does "soften" but it never leaves us. I try hard to do the right things and to help other people as much as I can. I volunteer a lot - Boy Scouts, CCD (religious instruction), reading to Kindergarteners and 1st graders, and with a Anti-Drug Group through my town. I speak to youngsters about the dangers of drugs and other substances that are abused. I try to live with some modicum of peace of mind and heart. I am not what I once was, but I'm not what one day I will be. Time passes and healing takes place.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter






Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

EXODUS

When Luke died at the age of 21 from acute bronchopneumonia I was so distraught and I needed so desperately to understand why my son had to die. I wanted that knowledge and I wished so much for the wisdom that I was lacking. I felt that the answers were somewhere out there. I looked to the sky for answers. I looked to prayer for answers. I looked everywhere for answers, but the answers were not there. All I found were more questions.

It was about two weeks after Luke's death when his sister Emily (then 23 years old) woke up early one morning crying and calling "Mom, Mom". I ran into her room and she was all curled up in the covers and told me that she had just had a very vivid dream of Luke. She looked at me with tears streaming down her saddened face as she described her dream as being so real and she felt as if she was really with her brother. She said that they talked and walked and spent time together in her dream and that she asked him "Luke, where are you?" Luke responded with..."I'm in Exodus." She said to me "What does Luke mean by saying that he is in Exodus?" I told her that I didn't know and I held her and we both cried and cried. Our grief was so new, and so raw, and so very difficult. Oh how we all wanted Luke again and we needed to understand what he meant by saying he was in Exodus, but we had no explanation, we had no answers.

One day shortly after this I was out in the shed going through some old boxes stored away for many years. I saw a boxed marked LUKE, so I opened it and discovered bittersweet hidden treasures from Luke's childhood. My heart was breaking as I reached into that box and pulled out little things that Luke had made. There was a Christmas ornament made of popsicle sticks, and a leather bracelet that he had carved his name on from Boy Scouts, a little stuffed animal from when he was a baby, a little toy car, and his childhood Precious Moments pastel blue Bible. As I looked at each of these little items the memories that they sparked brought me to my knees. I just curled up on the dirty floor of that old shed and I cried for a very long time. I was sobbing from somewhere deep within and the pain was almost unbearable. Finally as the sobbing transformed into gentle tears I pulled myself from that dirty hard floor and I started digging in that old cardboard box again. There in that box among those little boy treasures, tucked away in the corner at the very bottom, was a little red wooden heart. I immediately recognized it but had not seen it for many, many years. I remembered that it was hand painted by one of Luke's Sunday School teachers when he was a little fellow of only nine and given to him as a Valentine. I gently picked it up and held it close to my very own broken heart. There written in black paint on this little red heart lying dormant for over a decade were the words: LUKE "Bringer of Light" Exodus 31:3. I gasped when I saw it. I said out loud "EXODUS, EXODUS, EXODUS.... Luke is in Exodus". I immediately thought of Emily's dream. The number of the verse and the chapter Exodus 31:3 were absolutely amazing because Luke was born on the 31st and he died on the 3rd. Oh my God, I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. So I reached for that pale blue Precious Moments Bible. I turned to Exodus 31:3. There sitting on the floor of that old shed, tears streaming down my face, holding in my hands a little blue Bible and a little red wooden heart, I read these words from that Bible: ".....And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge.....". I knew then where Luke was! He was right there in that bible verse....he was in Exodus, just as he had told Emily. He let us know through that Bible verse that the spirit of God filled him with wisdom, with understanding, and with knowledge. This was an absolute revelation in my heart, my soul, and my mind. I had some answers, although they were not answers to the questions I had asked..... they were answers to questions that I didn't even know to ask.

Etched on Luke's gravestone is that Bible verse, Exodus 31:3. On this earth I will never understand WHY my son had to die. But some sweet day when my time comes I will walk through that Heavenly gate greeted by Luke, and will then be filled with the spirit of God in wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. All that I have been so desperately searching for will finally be mine. Until then I will find comfort in knowing that the answers await me..... somewhere out there.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001






SOMEWHERE

Somewhere up there in the sky,
Out in the still of night,
Reaching from the atmosphere,
Beyond the distant light.

Somewhere in my memories,
Down deep within my soul,
Captured in my every thought,
And in goodbyes left untold.

Somewhere very close to me,
But what seems so far away,
Right here in the present time,
Maybe lost in yesterday.

Somewhere in that other place,
Perhaps soon or long from now.
Again we'll be be together,
Somewhere... someway... somehow...


© 2013 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE

"Somewhere Out There" is a classic love song that is a reminiscent but stylized adaptation using parts of the main melody of a Beethoven sonata as a backdrop and incorporating new melody elements to create the modern song and not a direct copy of the Beethoven tune. Originally, it appeared in the 1986 animated film An American Tail.

Steven Spielberg, the producer of An American Tail, invited songwriters Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil to collaborate with James Horner on four songs for the film's soundtrack, to be completed in a four week timeframe. The composers "felt no pressure to come up with a radio-friendly hit" and were surprised when Spielberg felt "Somewhere Out There" had Top 40 hit potential and recruited world renowned recording artists, Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram, to record a pop version of the song for the film's closing credits. In the main body of the film, "Somewhere Out There" was performed by Phillip Glasser and Betsy Cathcart in the characters of the mice Fievel and Tanya Mousekewitz.

The lyrics of "Somewhere Out There" convey the love felt by two people separated by vast distances, but cheered by the belief that their love will eventually reunite them to be with each other once again.

sources: Wikipedia







SOMEWHERE OUT THERE


Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

~ Words & music by James Horner, Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil
~ Lyrics as performed byLinda Ronstadt and James Ingram from the movie An American Tail (1987)








ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 - 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene (Danny's Mom)

: Febuary 28 - Danny's Birthday - He would be 43 years old !!! I am grateful for the 30 years that God allowed me to be the Mom of this amazing young man. The memories that I hold in my heart will be with me until the day I am re-united with Danny in Heaven. So many of his birthdays that we celebrated here on earth - stand out in my mind. His very last birthday, when he turned 30 was bittersweet as I knew in my heart, it would be the last birthday celebration he would have. Family and friends came to bring him gifts and good wishes, hiding their tears and making him smile, OH THAT SMILE !!! Happy Birthday in Heaven Danny...SMILE !!!

IN MEMORY OF: Bryan Esposito
AGE: 20
DATES: 5/13/1979-2/11/2000
CAUSE: unknown
WRITTEN BY: mom, Irene Eposito

: DEAR BRYAN,
I MISS YOU SO MUCH, AND FEEL THAT YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT AT TIMES I FELT YOU CLOSER. PLEASE GIVE ME A SIGN, I NEED TO FEEL YOU.
LOVE YOU, MOM

IN MEMORY OF: Nicole Lorraine Ramsden
AGE: 12
DATES: 07/10/1997-02/22/10
CAUSE: leukemia
SUBMITTED BY: Mary R.

IN MEMORY OF: Christine Marie Klein
AGE: 27
DATES: 1/20/75 - 2/26/02
CAUSE: suicide
WRITTEN BY: Brigid - Christine's Mom

: Ten years...a million tears. I still miss her in my bones, and will...until we meet again.

IN MEMORY OF: Timothy D.Stratton
AGE: 29 years
DATES: 2-6-78---12-7-08
CAUSE: pencreatitis
SUBMITTED BY: Karin Haley




QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

"Either by thy picture or my love,
Thyself away art present still with me; ...
For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move,
And I am still with them, and they with thee;
Or, if they sleep, thy picture in my sight
Awakes my heart to heart's and eye's delight.

~ Shakespeare

MEMBER QUOTE:

"His death left a deep hole in our hearts" ~ Vicki Tackett

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Clint Milam
AGE: 10 yrs 4 mos
DATES: 04/07/93 ~ 08/05/03
CAUSE: Traumatic brain injury
WRITTEN BY: Susan Milam, Clint's Mom

: When Clint was between 2 and 3 yrs of age, and still potty training, he went to the potty by himself one day. He came out to the living room where my daughter and I were sitting. He was pulling up his Pull Ups training pants, and singing "I'm a big boy now" from the TV commercials who advertised one of the brands of training pants. He had such a happy smile on his face, and was so delighted with himself; but hearing him sing "I'm a big boy now" was just the icing on the cake! I'll never forget that precious memory...






LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 - 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene (Danny's Mom)

: My sweet Danny, February is a special month. It's the month that you came into this world, and my life would never be the same. The month of LOVE !!! Valentine's MONTH. I was your first Valentine's. LOL You would make all kinds of HEARTS in school and bring them home for me to hang on the fridge...so proud of your work and for bringing me smiles. In third grade you had Mrs. Peterson for a teacher and she won your heart. You were her 'favorite' student and even when you were in high school, every year on Valentine's Day you would send her one red rose. She NEVER forgot you and she even came to your funeral. You made such an impact on so many lives. You won over so many hearts...even your doctor who was known for having NO BEDSIDE MANNER... strictly professional, well you made it a mission to get under his skin so he would never forget you. You accomplished that goal.....as his secretary told me he cried when you died. Danny, I try to imagine your eternal life in Heaven. I wish I could have a 'peek' as to what eternal life is like, what jobs you have, what you do to fill your days? ARE THERE DAYS? ARE THERE NIGHTS? What age are you in Heaven? So many questions.....but I guess I'll never know until I leave this earth and join you in everlasting happiness. Stay close to me....I love you forever. - Mom X X X ( ) ( ) ( )



LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 06-11-60 09-16-86
CAUSE: Accidental
WRITTEN BY: Mother Dolores

: My son Dennis Christopher Tucker was born at Martin Army Hospital in Ft. Benning, GA. I already had two sons and was hoping for a daughter. As it turned out, Dennis looked like a cherub and could have been a model for the Gerber Co. He never had a childhood illness and was a happy and smiling youngster, always helpful and caring. Dennis was a brilliant child and seem to be able to fix clocks, cars, and anything that he put his mind to. Dennis began playing trumpet in elementary school and I was asked to meet with the teacher about his skill. I was told he could make it his vocation because of the sound projected from a large trumpet bore. Dennis loved music, but also had the high grades and skill to become a dr. He received a full scholarship for Amherst College because of his grades and thought he would concentrate on the medical field and still play in symphonies and in choral groups. Dennis was compassionate to his fellowman and wanted to be the kind of dr. to help those in need that could not afford medical treatment. Dennis' trumpet playing surpassed his capability in that he strived for perfection. His favorite trumpet is one of silver. I have two of his trumpets left and remember how beautiful the sound. It has been 26 years since the shock of hearing that Dennis would not share his precious life with me and his brothers is still a mystery. He was in his final year at college working on an art project from Hampshire College two weeks into the semester. On Mon. evening, Dennis attended a rehearsal of Handel's Messiah. On Tues, he was found with an open page of The Messiah. I was notified on Wed. by a state trooper, as Dennis was found alone. This was an unbelievable nightmare where, incredible to conceive, as Dennis worked so hard at his studies, etc. all of his life and yet, the mystery remains. I have a deep faith and could not have survived without my faith the support of my sons. Dennis is always in my heart and spirit.




POETRY:



IN MEMORY OF: Robert Travis Miller
AGE: 19
DATES: 11/29/1991~10/09/2011
CAUSE: murder~shot in the back
WRITTEN BY: Kim~Mother of an Angel

I miss your beautiful blue eyes
I miss your crooked grin
I miss your goofy noises
I miss your voice
I miss your hugs

I miss getting calls from you
I miss your texts
I miss checking on you
I miss driving with you
I miss your laughter
I even miss your stinky feet
We would laugh about them :)

I miss our fights
I miss hearing your jokes
I miss seeing you pull up
and saying "Whats up Mom"
I miss you singing in the car
I miss you asking me to cook
I miss you eating my cookies
asking me to bake everytime
You would show up :)

I miss your teasing so
I even miss you picking
on me..
I miss taking you places
I miss seeing you work
with me on a job..
I miss just talking to you
hearing you tell me
I worry too much..
I miss you so much,
One night took it all
away

Every night I go to sleep
Hoping you will come to
My dreams,When you do
I never want to wake up..
When I gave birth to you
You was my miracle baby
you turned into a very amazing young man
I am so proud of you
The pain from losing you
gets worse each day
How I wish I could hug you
And kiss your cheek
And tell I love you once again...

Oh how I miss you my son,my angel,my heart
Now and always and more each day...
Love you
Mom




SIGNS:


IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: GSWH
WRITTEN BY: Adam's mom

: I was having a hard time last month. I asked Adam for something big. I was going to work the next day, when my low fuel light came on. I turned to go to the gas station. I usually go to the far side of the pumps on the right side. Even as I was pulling straight ahead, I thought why am I doing this? This station had an attached McDonalds. Straight ahead of me were Sponge Bob glass clings on the window advertising the Happy Meals. Adam loved Sponge Bob. I could cry thinking about it.






IN THEIR OWN WORDS:

written or said by our children






IN MEMORY OF: Joey Marshall Whiteman
AGE: 21 yrs. 360 days
DATES: September 8, 1980 - September 3, 2002
CAUSE: Auto Accident, blunt force trauma to his heart
SUBMITTED BY: TERRIE WHITEMAN, JOEY'S MOM

Written by Joey as a child:

When Mark was about 15, he became a Mississippi Pilot, A Mississippi Pilot is a person that drives a boat along the Mississippi River. Mark was in the business for five years, then he began working in a printing shop. Mark Twainís real name is Samuel Clemens. Mark was a pilot right before the Civil War started, so that meant when the war started He had to stop driving. A couple years later Mark didnít know what to do. Then his father Orion got a letter from Lincoln to come and work in Nevada and work as Secretary of Territory. He said he would, and a day later he left with Sam to go to Nevada. It was a long journey, but a few weeks later, they were there. Orion went to work the next day and Sam tried to find jobs in the newspapers but he was too lazy to get up And go to the place for an interview. Sam made lots of friends in the first few days that he was there. Most of his friends were prospectors. Sam thought that he wouldnít want to become a prospector, but he thought about it very much. He came to a decision that he would be one since he wasnít in Mississippi driving a boat because of the Civil War And because he didnít have a job. One of Samís friends, Hank Salt asked Sam if he would go prospecting with him. Sam thought about it and said he would. It was a long journey to where they were going prospecting. Sam got sick and almost died, but Hank had some training for being a Doctor, before becoming a prospector.

By Joey Whiteman




SPECIAL MEMORIES:





IN MEMORY OF: Amanda Renea Caudill
AGE: 25
CAUSE: gastic bypass surgey
WRITTEN BY: Dad Terry and Wilma Caudill

: I miss you so much and always will. You are now happy with God now. I thank God for the 25 years of having you as a daugther. You had so many dreams but your dreams will come true now. I love you so much that I can't explain. When I was 14 years old I asked God if I got married please bless me with two girls and he did. I still have her but in my heart. I got two just in differnt worlds and you got the best one. Some day I hope me and mom will be with you. I hurt and grief will never leaves us. People say it will get better. I say no I won't. I don't want the hurt, pain and all the feelings I have for you because you are my little angel. It is hard to go on with life but your life is the greatest and I know if you had a choice you'd say Dad I'm so happy here and it is true baby. I must go baby, the tears are drowning my eyes. With all the love in the world it's all in my heart for you and the Lord. Happy new years baby.

Love Dad and Mom, Sister Tera Caudill






MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE MARKER, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO .....





IN MEMORY OF: Timothy D.Stratton
AGE: 29 years
DATES: 2-6-79----12-7-08
CAUSE: pancreatitis
WRITTEN BY: Karin Haley

: When Tim was in 2nd grade he came home one day all exited and said to me" Mom when I die I want them to play the song "IT IS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL". I was surprised that day,but put it aside.

When Tim passed, that was the first thing that came to my mind,that my son said that to me a long time ago. We did have them play the song at his service!!! I as a mother, I wondered and still wonder if my son knew he was going to pass away early,he did believe and was raised a catholic.

He had a very big tattoo on his forearm with JOHN 3:16 on it "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON,THAT WHOEVER BELIEVED IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE".

I believe more and more that he knew!

Bless you my Tim,I miss you so much and you will be in my heart forever!!

"ONE LOVE" Mom






QUESTION: HOW HAS THE DEATH OF YOUR CHILD CHANGED YOU?






IN MEMORY OF: Joey Marshall Whiteman
AGE: 21 yrs. 360 days
DATES: September 8, 1980 - September 3, 2002
CAUSE: Auto Accident, blunt force trauma to his heart
SUBMITTED BY: TERRIE WHITEMAN, JOEY'S MOM

My answer to the question of how the death of Joey changed me, is not very hard to think about or say. Iíve always been the kind of person who, if someone was in need of my help I would be there for them, When Joey died, of course the first thing I would say I did, was not to believe it was true. As the days went on, the funeral being on his birthday only 5 days later, was the beginning of my believing, it was true. It didnít stop me, although it was like I was in a coma, or a robot, I did what I had to do, I took charge which is not a new thing for me. I spoke and read a poem of which I wrote, along with others who stood up and spoke for Joey. After months of crying and moping, I started my own grieving group for those who lost a child. My first meeting was about 10 Moms of which I still keep in touch with a few. One of the Moms who was there was a member of GP, who invited me to join her group, and so happy I did. I cancelled my group after the first year, and stayed with GP. I hope what I have done with my life beside joining a group, writing a journal, everyday which really helped me thru this, Was to be a lot more sympathetic to those who have lost someone, anyone, not just a child and been there for anyone who needed me. I now have a small business, doing ceramics, mostly for children or the parents of a child who has passed.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter


br>



Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

BLINDFOLDS AND CARROTS

Luke was in a youth group when he was 16 years old. One night the leaders sent them all on a mission as part of a group activity. Those who had cars and wanted to drive, did so, and were assigned about 5 boys to each car. Luke drove and was given instructions as to where to meet the rest of the cars at the end of the activity. He also was given a bag containing more instructions, some items, and places to stop on the way to the destination.

So Luke and the 5 other boys got into Luke's car as instructed. Luke was not supposed to open the bag until they were inside the car. As they sat there in the parking lot, Luke opened up the bag. There inside Luke's bag were blindfolds and carrots!!! The instructions were that all the passengers (the other 5 boys) were to put the blindfolds on and hold a carrot in their right hand until they were to their destination where the activity would be concluded. Under no circumstances were any of the passengers to remove their blindfolds or let go of their carrots until they reached their destination, which only the driver of the car (Luke) knew. So the other boys put on their blindfolds, held on to their carrots as Luke drove out of the parking lot on the way to their assigned mission.

All was going well. They were laughing and having the best time, stopping at the assigned places, staying blindfolded while holding on to carrots. Then there was a problem. At an intersection some woman ran the stop sign and hit Luke's car. It was only a minor fender bender, but the police came to the scene for the report. What took place next is the best part of the story.

When Luke got home that night, he said "Mom, I was in an accident, but no one was hurt". "You won't believe what happened". He then proceeded to tell me the above story. When he was telling me the part where the police came, he was laughing uncontrollably. By this time I was laughing too, not even knowing what he was going to say. Luke said "Oh, Mom, it was the funniest thing you ever saw." "The police officer came to our car and I had 5 guys in the car with blindfolds on and holding carrots". Luke said "I tried to explain it to the policeman that it was a game and what was going on, but I was laughing so hard that the officer thought that we had all been drinking." Luke continued to tell me how he was given a sobriety test and that he passed perfectly, except for the uncontrollable laughter. All the other boys in the car were laughing too, but could not see what was going on. Through all of this they all kept their blindfolds on, held their carrots, made it to the destination, and had the best story of all the other cars to tell.

If I could choose to relive one day with Luke without any changes, I might just choose that day when he came home full of excitement telling me his story. But there are many other days that I could also choose. Oh how I would long to get all dressed up and go to church with Luke as a little boy on Easter Sunday. How wonderful it would be to decorate eggs, have an egg hunt, run through fields of flowers, look for four-leaf clovers, walk together through the forest, have a picnic, watch the sunset together, tell him over and over that I love him, or just sit and talk for hours and hours. There are so many good days to choose from.

Many years have passed since that night of blindfolds, carrots, fun, laughter, and a simple thing of listening to my son tell me a wonderful story. To this day, I smile through my tears and laugh just a little, every time...... I see a carrot.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001






TODAY I SPENT THE DAY WITH HIM


Today I spent the day with him,
Dressed up in our Sunday best.
Prayed there in the chapel
And knew that we were blessed.

Soaked up the morning sunlight.
Looked for bunny rabbit tracks.
Decorated Easter eggs
And hid them quietly in the back.

Ran through fields of flowers.
Had a picnic on the ground.
Searched for four leaf clovers
And yelled when they were found.

Walked hand in hand in nature.
Talked for hours 'neath the tree.
Today I spent the day with him,
Through all my memories.


© 2006 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Published in Living with Loss Magazine
Bereavement Publications
Spring 2013, Vol. 28 No. 1



Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

ONE MORE DAY

"One More Day" is a song written by Bobby Tomberlin and Steven Dale Jones, and recorded by American country music group Diamond Rio. It was released in October 2000 as the second single from their 2001 album. The song reached the top of the Hot Country Songs chart. After falling from the charts, it received more popularity as a tribute to the people who died in the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.

In the song the narrator has a dream that a wish was granted to him. He talks about how he didn't wish for any extravagant gift, he wished for one more day with that someone he loved and missed.

source: Wikipedia





ONE MORE DAY

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me,
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do. With one more day with you

Leave me wishing still for one more day
Leave me wishing still for one more day
(oh) how I wish I could forget those, (those) happy yesteryears
That have left a rosary of tears

Your face beams - in my dreams
(in) spite of all (that) I do
(and) everything - seems to bring
Memories of you

~ Words & music by Bobby Tomberlin and Steven Dale Jones
Recorded by Diamond Rio








ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: BARRY aitken
AGE: 20 years
DATES: 10 10 1984 _ 3 12 2004
CAUSE: suicide
WRITTEN BY: Barry's Mom

Memorial to my son Barry miss you too much

IN MEMORY OF: Patti Rawls
AGE: 54
DATES: March 2 1956--Dec. 11. 2010
CAUSE: Melanoma Cancer
WRITTEN BY: Helen Wallace, Mother of Patti Rawls

: When you arrived on this day 57 yrs ago I was so blessed. I am so grateful for the years we had.

IN MEMORY OF: SHELLY LYNN BEAM
AGE: 32
DATES: 10/03/1975--03/26/2008
CAUSE: drug overdose
WRITTEN BY: Cindy (shelly's forever Mom)

: SHELLY, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE SKY! MOM

IN MEMORY OF: Jennifer Ann Robinson
AGE: 31
DATES: 4-23-75 3-9-07
CAUSE: accidential overdose
WRITTEN BY: Patricia Robinson

: In memory of Jennifer A Robinson on her Angel date, 3-9-07.

IN MEMORY OF: Christopher Ronald Faller
AGE: 7-1/2 years
DATES: May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
CAUSE: viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
SUBMITTED BY: Maria (Mommy)

: For You, Christopher

My love for you is not written on paper,
For paper can be erased.
Nor is my love for you etched in stone,
For stone can be broken.
But my love for you is inscribed in my heart,
Where it shall remain forever.
~ Author Unknown






QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

ďWhen someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.Ē
~ Mitch Albom, Author: For One More Day

MEMBER QUOTE:

"Has been so hard and wish none of us had to go thur this. My heart breaks now when ever I hear that someone has lost a child. As now I know the real pain they feel. It is not a loss we want to go thur but we do."
~ Carol Carico

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Amanda "Mandy" Taylor Smith
AGE: 17
DATES: 5/06/83 - 9/21/2000
CAUSE: Automobile Accident
WRITTEN BY: Teri Smith Anderson

: "Smile and be happy. For what is life to live for without a smile"
(Favorite quote of Mandy Smith)






LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Patti Rawls
AGE: 54
DATES: March 2 1956--Dec. 11. 2010
CAUSE: Melanoma Cancer
WRITTEN BY: Helen Wallace, Mother of Patti Rawls

Hi Patti,

As March 2nd approaches I think about the day you were born and how your Dad and I were so very excited. That was 57 years ago but it doesnít seem possible that it could have been that long ago. I think about the different stages of your life and have so many memories stuffed away in the creases of my heart. I have tried so hard to write you a poem but you know that is not my gift. So I will just tell you how much you are missed. I asked God for some kind of sign one day and His answer to me was that all I had to do was look around my house at the things you had a hand in like the pictures on the wall of the butterflies you painted during the last months that you were so sick. I also think of how much fun we had together. How we could laugh at the silliest things. You were such a talented person and there was nothing you could not accomplish if you made up your mind to do it. Thank you for the years we had togetherógood and bad. No one could have asked for a better daughter. I havenít made my reservations yet but I will be with you soon. Meet me at the Gate. You are always in my thoughts and I will always love you.

Mother



LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Robert Dennis (Bobby) Digan
AGE: 18 Yrs.
DATES: 3/23/73 - 5/23/91
CAUSE: Special Needs & Surgery mistake
WRITTEN BY: Bobby Digan's Mom

: Sitting with Bobby in his bed room, as he was full of tubes and could not eat or drink, he looked at me and said "Mom I have something to tell you. Why would anyone be afraid to go to Heaven and be with God, Jesus, Mary and my Nana and Papa?" I almost fell out of my wheelchair. We still had no idea Bobby's death was so close, but this special little boy knew.

With in a week we had to rush him to the hospital by ambulance and the Doctor told us Bobby had 24 hours. I must have been in shock because I asked, 24 hours for what. He just looked at me with tears in his eyes and said to live. Then he went behind the curtains to Bobby and Dad. Bobby looked at the Doctor and said, How long will I be in pain? The Doctor said, Not long Bobby. Bobby answered. "Good" and we took him back home.

Bobby passed away 24 hours later. His Mom, Dad, two Priests, and a very close friend where with us.

What a wonderful Doctor. He came to the house when the nurse called him to report Bobby had passed. He told her not to call anyone, he would be at our home in 30 mins.

The hardest thing in my life was to let go of our only child that night. Being Special Needs, I took care of Bobby all his life and stayed with him in the hospital every time he was admitted. Sometimes.....5 months. Love brings the hearts together. His Dad was there everyday and worked sometimes on only 4 hours of sleep. Love brings the hearts together.

Bobby you are loved and missed, but we are so happy you are out of pain and in Heaven.

Love, Dad and Mom




POETRY:



IN MEMORY OF: Dominic Michael Campano
AGE: 17
DATES: B 1-29-91 D 6-10-08
CAUSE: GSWM
WRITTEN BY: Susan Campano-Readel

: I wrote 2 poems that I had published in the local paper on his 3rd & 4th Anniversary dates



"If you Only Knew"

If you only knew...
How badly the world would miss you,
Perhaps no one would have to say
We're sorry he left that day.

If you only knew....
How lonely my life is without you
My heart & soul are broken in two
Trying every day to live with
Only memories of you.

If you only knew....
Until we are together again,
I love you now and for always.
If you only knew....

Mommy

The second one is from 2012, his fourth anniversary:

June 10th will mark 4 years.
We've shed so many lonely tears.
Each day you are missed so bad,
By friends, family, even teachers,
but especially Mom & Dad.
A walk of a million miles
would be worth it just to see
one of your beautiful smiles.
Please rest peacefully, my baby boy,
Until we are together again
with so much joy.

Everyone misses you & loves you,




SIGNS:


IN MEMORY OF: Jason Christopher Dunn
AGE: 22
DATES: June 5, 1974-March 13, 1997
CAUSE: Accidental gun shoot
WRITTEN BY: Susie

: Lad (Jason's brother) never stopped at the cemetery. He always toots his horn but he would never stop. He didn't believe in "signs". Well one day just as he tooted his horn his car died right In front of the cemetery. It started right back up. There was no problems with it. Jason was just saying hi. He knew that would definately get his attention. He had a golf cart chase him backwards. Then he started to get dimes. His Dad gets dimes too, never where they should be. He is a believer now.

A few years ago he was at a race in Oklahoma in late fall. He got up to the lights and his race car was covered with purple butterflies. They weren't anywhere else, just on his car. His race car is purple. It's his favorite color.






IN THEIR OWN WORDS:

written or said by our children





IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted- GSW
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Adam's mom

: I recently found a note written by Adam on some lined paper from school paper. It is in cursive, so I know he was a little older. It is entitled Adam,s Will on the right side of the paper.

"I give all my blessing's to my birth giver mommy. and my money.
Adam
and
Dad
Allison
Good
By




SPECIAL MEMORIES:





IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 06-11-60 09-16-86
CAUSE: Wrong medication
WRITTEN BY: Mother Dolores

: One of the many profound memories of my son Dennis was my being called by the school principal when Dennis was in the 5th grade. We had recently returned from a tour of duty from Italy and Dennis was enrolled in an elementary school in Amsterdam, NY. It was a non-graded school where they placed students according to their IQ's. The principal indicated that Dennis was doing 8th grade work while in the 5th grade and excelling in his studies. He also had the music director speak to me about Dennis' trumpet playing, indicating that Dennis had the potential of being a great trumpeter with the sound and adaptation to music. By sound, Dennis had a large bore which meant he had the capability of projecting sound from the trumpet as a singer does with voice in opera. I knew Dennis was special in many ways by learning on his own; perhaps by curiosity or by taking apart a clock or car engine with his dad, and putting it together (self-learned) His last year at college, he asked if he should focus on the professional music field or the medical field as he studied to be a dr. Money was tight since his father deserted family and although Dennis was given a full scholarship at a prestigious college (Amherst,MA)it was tough financially on personal expenses (car, clothing, etc.) I sometimes wonder about the greatness Dennis would have achieved if he had not passed on accidentally. A most tragic and sad departure after all his studies, knowledge and love for his fellow man. I lost a treasure and am thankful for my years with Dennis. He is with the angels, so they say, but my loss is felt everyday.






DREAMS:



IN MEMORY OF: Robert Walton
AGE: 1 Day Old
DATES: 10/11/63-11/11/63
CAUSE: Premature
WRITTEN BY: JOAN TAYLOR

: My precious Baby Brother Robert. I had a wonderful Dream a few nights ago that I was holding you. Your little sweet Angel Face was looking up at me & smiling. The Dream of you & Dad Robert felt so wonderful to me. It felt so real Robert, Dad was by your side. I did not want my Dream to end, but sadly all good things come to an end. So my Robert please come to me in my Dreams again. GB you & Dad always my precious Baby Brother. Sending you lots of little kisses upto Heaven.

From your loving sister Joan xoxoxoxo.






HUMOROUS MEMORIES:





IN MEMORY OF: Denise Marie McCormick
AGE: 40 years
DATES: Dec 7, 1963 to Feb 28, 2004
CAUSE: Murder
WRITTEN BY: Sherrie, Denise's Mom

: One of the fondest and funniest memories I have of Denise is when she was about 3 years old. Her Papa had gotten her a peddle car at a local thrift store. He worked on it and refurbished it and made it look like a Batmobile. Denise loved Batman, but she still couldn't pronounce it "Batman". She always called him "Matman". So when she got her Batmobile she would wrap her blanket over her shoulders holding on to it at her neck like a cape and go running out the door... She'd jump off the porch and jump into her Batmobile...yelling "Matman" and go peddling down the sidewalk. She was so cute and so funny.






OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:





IN MEMORY OF: Geoffrey Philip James Edwards
AGE: 18
DATES: 6May1984-22May2002
CAUSE: drug overdose given by a friend who left him alone in distress
WRITTEN BY: Karen Lyn Jenkins

: My son Geoff always gave me pride because of who he was not what he did. Though he did do a lot in his short life Geoff just being Geoff made me laugh, cry in joy and pain, warmed my spirit and soul and is the greatest joy I ever had in my life. The love and pride I had in him made me glow within. He was and is the most special gift God ever gave to me. I felt truly blessed by him even when he was being ornery and difficult. He was my greatest love. He was me in personality and spirit which is why we bonked heads quite a few times. He was a gift from God even for the short time he was with me. He was always independent and strong willed (like his mom). He had a wonderful feel for those who were in trouble or pain and always reached out to them to help, lend a shoulder or just to listen. I was proud of him when he got into the college he wanted; proud when he played soccer, football and basketball. Football was his sport. His trophies still grace our home. I was proud at any good he did and he did much good. He always took in his friends when they were in trouble. They slept here and were able to distance themselves from their trouble and talk to Geoff about the issues. They also spoke to Cal and I if they felt they needed adult help. I always made sure parents knew where their child was and that they were safe. He was a great, good friend and mentor to younger kids. He was my joy and hope for the future. I miss him so much and would so much loved to have known what his future held for him. It has been a long, hard, painful 10 years since he left us. It is like it was just yesterday.






MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO, BUMPER STICKER, WINDOW STICKER.....






IN MEMORY OF: Joey Whiteman
AGE: 21 yrs. 360 days
DATES: September 8, 1980 - September 3, 2002
CAUSE: Auto Accident
SUBMITTED BY: TERRIE WHITEMAN, JOEY'S MOM

This poem was written and read by Terrie, Joey's Mom, at his service on September 3, 2002.

My Dearest Joey,

Today I have so many thoughts on all you are, my son
Iíve watched you grow from child to man,
And proud for what youíve done.

I love you more than you will know
Remember through your life,
Mommy loved you first of all and will throughout your life.

Parents seldom realize until the son is grown
The many ways he touched their hearts or how the time has flown
He learns so much, too fast it seems, you canít believe the pace
Then suddenly the boy is gone, and whoís this in his place?
The young man filled with more than dreams,
But hopes and promise too
Facing life on his own terms, with visions to pursue

And though we always trusted,
Youíd be second best to none
We never knew how proud weíd be to say
There goes ďOur SonĒ.






QUESTION: HOW HAS DEATH CHANGED YOU?

(see the news section for a new question to answer)





IN MEMORY OF: Christine Knapp RN BSN
AGE: Age 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted- GSW
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Proud mom of Adam, a soldier

: Yesterday (February 14th), I got up and went to the store for some roses for my two friends- they had helped me clean out Adam's apt.- something I can never forget or repay. I went in my pj bottoms, no make up, etc. I used to not even answer the phone without makeup. Seriously. My priority system is so changed, it is unreal. I would have never left the house before like that.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter



Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

LITTLE CARDBOARD BOXES

What joy simple little cardboard boxes have brought to my life. When Luke was a little fellow, oh what fun he had with little cardboard boxes............

I remember Luke's very first birthday and how Robin (my husband) and I were so excited to see Luke open his gifts.... the gifts that we had carefully chosen for our only son..... no longer a baby, but now a "little boy". Robin and I watched in amazement as Luke would put the "specially chosen" gift aside and climb into the cardboard box that it came in. If the gift was in a box too small for little Luke to climb into, he would just simply place it on his head. So there sat our "birthday boy" in a mound of wrapping paper, more excited over the little cardboard boxes than he was over his "specially chosen" gifts.

As toddlers, Luke and Emily loved to play "choo-choo" with cardboard boxes, or just push each other in them across the kitchen floor. I can still hear the scraping sound as the bottom of the box met with the tile floor, drowned out by the giggles coming from my happy little children..... back from days when life was so simple.

When the kids were a little older we bought a new refrigerator. It came packaged in a huge box. After unloading the refrigerator the delivery guys started loading the box into their truck. I said "You can leave that box here" as my two little "playmates" gleamed with anticipation. Well..... this was the "mother-load" of all boxes. I helped Emily and Luke with it and we made windows and doors and they soon had the perfect playhouse, which provided a special place for tea parties, cowboys in jail, and a little school room for two. Hours of fun were had in that simple refrigerator box .... until that first rain storm ascended.

Throughout the years I found it hard to even throw out little cardboard boxes, because of the memories that they caused to emerge within me. I had little cardboard boxes that Luke had given me gifts in... that sometimes seemed more precious than the gift itself because he had decorated them with his little crayons or when he got older, just simply wrote on the box... I LOVE YOU MOM.

Sometime in April, just two years after Luke had died, Robin and I were cleaning out the shed and throwing away old cardboard boxes that were empty, or combining items in boxes to save space. On the boxes containing special things we would write KEEPSAKES. Robin would take the boxes off of the shelf, hand them to me, and I would open them to make sure there wasn't any forgotten treasure still inside before tossing an empty box. Robin handed me a little square cardboard box. I opened it to look inside, hoping to find some long-lost treasure. When I did.... I GASPED and cried "OH NO!!" Robin said "What's wrong?" I just curled over and started crying as I clutched this little cardboard box and held it close to my chest. Then Robin quietly walked over to where I was, now realizing what I had just discovered. He solemnly said "I know what box that is." Now we were both crying, holding on to each other, as we both relived the day that Luke died, just as if it had happened at that exact moment . I moaned...."L U K E!!!!" with a moan that came from somewhere deep within my broken heart. It hurt so bad as my breath was forcefully released and carried the name of my dead child across my quivering lips.

It was so amazing that just a simple little square cardboard box caused so much pain. This is the same little cardboard box that I held at the crematory containing Luke's body which had just been reduced to a small amount of warm ashes. On that dreadful day after Luke's cremation I rode in the car with Luke once again... in my lap, once again... in a little cardboard box once again, but this time.....there were no happy giggles. When we arrived at the funeral home Luke's ashes were placed in his Urn.

I kept the little cardboard box, just as I had done with so many special little cardboard boxes throughout the years. As I looked within that fateful box that day in the shed, I saw the plastic bag that was still dusted with some of Luke's ashes and his ashes were still clinging to the sides of the bag. It was an unbelievable experience that thrust me and every thought, every emotion, every feeling of Luke's death deep within that little cardboard box. In the depths of that box I hurt for me, I hurt for my husband, I hurt for my daughter, and I hurt for the world because so many people would not ever know this wonderful person.

I have since emerged from that little cardboard box, still covered with some of the dust, not the dust of Luke's ashes, but the dust that will forever cling to my heart and my soul..... the dust of grief.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



GROWING OLD

Your flowers all have wilted.
Your shelf has gathered dust.
Your car out in the driveway
Has now begun to rust.

Your old guitar is out of tune.
Your piano's never played.
The light that shone beneath your door
Has somehow gone away.

Your slippers never warm your feet.
Your glasses need your eyes.
Your favorite shoes you wore each day
Still remain untied.

Your ring has lost it's luster.
Your candle holds no wish.
The watch you wore upon your arm
It never, ever ticks.

Your favorite shows were cancelled.
Your books are never read.
The pillow that you slept on
Lays waiting on your bed.

Your weights are never lifted.
Your keys no more unlock.
The board games that we used to play
Stay sealed within their box.

Your meds are all outdated.
Your song has no request.
Your footsteps that came down the hall
Have found a place of rest.

Your pockets are all empty.
Your money's never spent.
The clothes within your closet
Have lost all of their scent.

Your journal's never written in.
Your speakers makes no noise.
The telephone that seldom rings
Is absent of your voice.

Your cologne remains unopened.
Your tea is never sipped.
The 'Chapstick' from your pocket
Is still waiting for your lips.

Your calendar has empty dates.
Your room has empty space.
The door that opens from the porch
Is empty of your face.

Your boxes are upon a shelf.
Your things remain inside.
Your life is neatly tucked away,
All because you died.

Your memory still warms my heart.
Your urn still feels so cold.
Everything... except for you
Continues to grow old.


© 2007 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

TIME IN A BOTTLE

"Time in a Bottle" is a hit single for singer-songwriter Jim Croce. Croce wrote the lyrics after his wife Ingrid told him she was pregnant with his son, Adrian, in December 1970. It appeared on his 1972 ABC debut album 'You Don't Mess Around with Jim.' ABC originally did not intend to release the song as a single; but when Croce was killed in a plane crash in September 1973, the song's lyrics, dealing with immortality and the wish to have more time, came across as if he had had a premonition. The song subsequently received a large amount of airplay as an album track and demand for a single release built. It became his second and final #1 hit. After the single had finished its two-week run at the top in early January 1974, the album 'You Don't Mess Around with Jim' became #1 for five weeks. Time in a Bottle was later used as the title for a compilation album of Croce's love songs.

source: Wikipedia





TIME IN A BOTTLE

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

~ Words & music by Jim Croce


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Lucas Christopher Ross
AGE: 21
DATES: October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
CAUSE: Acute Bronchopneumonia
WRITTEN BY: Robin Ross, Luke's Dad

:It has been 12 years since you went to heaven LUKE. Your memories stay with me, but so does the pain. I miss you so much LUKE, and will see you soon.

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua S Johnson
AGE: 21
DATES: 10-11-85-4-01-07
CAUSE: Accidential Overdose
WRITTEN BY: Tammy( forever Josh's mom)

: It has been six years my heart hurts as much today as it did then, miss you like crazy everyday. would give any thing to have just one more day. love and miss you Mom

IN MEMORY OF: Jennifer Ann Robinson
AGE: 31
DATES: 4-23-75 3-9-07
CAUSE: accidential overdose
WRITTEN BY: Patricia Robinson

: Happy Birthday to our beautiful baby girl born 4-23-75 and known from that day on as "Sweet Jenny", lover of all children, animals and most of all family. The balloons will fly, the flowers will be placed around you and as we sing tears will flow as the memory of your birth overcome us. We miss you Jen.


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

"My momma always said, life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." ~ Forrest Gump

MEMBER QUOTE:

"Some days it is hard to find the ray of sunshine, but if we look, we will see it." ~ Vicki Tackett

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 - 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene (Dan's Mom)

: APRIL SHOWERS BRINGS MAY FLOWERS

A GRIEVING PARENT'S QUOTE:
"TEARS FROM YOUR EYES", "TEARS FROM THE SKIES"


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

"> IN MEMORY OF: Lucas Christopher Ross
AGE: 21
DATES: October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
CAUSE: Acute Bronchopneumonia
WRITTEN BY: Robin Ross, Luke's Dad

: LUKE,

It is Easter and your anniversary, again. Easter time always makes me sad, because that is when you left us for your home in heaven, but, it is because of Easter and CHRIST rising, that me and mom and Emily will be in heaven with you one day. LUKE there are so many confusing emotions, ones I can never understand, the perpetual deep sadness and hurt that you are gone, relief that you no longer have to face the pain of this world, happiness for you that you were chosen, especially by GOD, to go home early and be with HIM and do HIS work, sadness that you didn't grow up in this world and share many more wonderful memories with me, happiness and a feeling of being blessed with all of the signs that you send to us to let us know that you are OK, more than OK, and that you are still the same LUKE, the same person, the same soul, you have always been, just in a different form than we are used to.

LUKE, I love you and miss you so much, but I know that each day that passes is one more day I am closer to seeing you again. I know you will have a happy Easter in heaven with CHRIST. Please thank HIM for me for HIS sacrifice for all of us. I will thank him from down here.

Love,

Dad


LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Josh Hughes
AGE: 21 years old
DATES: April 30, 1982 ~ November 7, 2003
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY: Cindy Hughes- Mom

Joshua Samuel Hughes, "Josh", was born on Friday, April 30, 1982. My only son lost his life tragically and suddenly at 21 years old on Friday, November 7, 2003 in an auto accident. He was killed on impact when he hit an utility pole.

A single word could never describe Josh, he represented so many different things to those who loved him. He was obstinate yet reasonable, brutally honest, and very loyal. Josh had an unforgettable laugh and an irreplaceable smile that radiated all the way to his eyes. These individual characteristics put together made up one of the most truly wonderful, unique people we were all blessed to know and love. .

Josh had a great love of life and all that it offered him. He lived everyday to the fullest and wasnít going to be held back from enjoying each as if it were his last. He savored each new day and experience. Josh radiated this incredible energy that seemed like he was always having a good time no matter what. He wasnít satisfied with living the mundane life we all so easily accept as the "norm". Josh wanted something more, he wanted his life to mean something, and given the opportunity he would have made his life something extraordinary. His dreams were limitless and his drive to achieve them even greater. He was constantly thinking and planning, never accepting "no" as an answer.

His outgoing, fun-loving, and beautiful soul will live on forever in the memories of those who loved him. Those whose paths never crossed with his truly missed out on the pleasure of his one of a kind personality and his unconditional love for those around him.

Josh will be forever remembered and missed with great sorrow and shattered dreams. His family has established the J.O.S.H. Foundation in his honor and memory. Joining Others Seeking Healing is a small tribute to help others walking the path of losing a loved one.


POETRY:


IN MEMORY OF: Denise Rosaleen Vaughan
AGE: 6
DATES: July 14, 1978--December 28, 1984
CAUSE: Brain tumor, cancer.
WRITTEN BY: Mommy, Rosaleen Vaughan

: Always With Me

Is the cool breeze you?
Whispering......I am here.
Is the gentle rains that fall, you?
Kissing my face.
Is the stream's bubbling gurgle, you?
Talking to me.
Is the sun's warmth your hand caressing my face?
The star's that sparkle so bright from heaven above.....
Is this you, my daughter, smiling at me?
When I hear the rustle of tree's,
Is this you, my Angel...telling me, "I love you"?
Are you there? Just out of reach but always in my heart?
Are you there my Angel??

Author: Rosaleen Bellamy {Vaughan} 2002


SIGNS:

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted- GSW
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Adam's mom

: I was reading a library book the other night. One of the characters asked the other where her child was going to college, "Duke right?" It was a different college, but I am a HUGE Duke fan. I was a little teary the day before. I half way asked Adam for a sign. Later when I was watching TV, the commercial came on about Disney with the "tea cup " ride with a little blonde hair boy. Adam and I rode that ride when he was not quite three years old. I will not forget that time.

Thank you, Adam
I love you, Love M<3M


SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 06-11-60 09-16-86
CAUSE: Wrong medication
WRITTEN BY: Mother Dolores

: One of the many profound memories of my son Dennis was my being called by the school principal when Dennis was in the 5th grade. We had recently returned from a tour of duty from Italy and Dennis was enrolled in an elementary school in Amsterdam, NY. It was a non-graded school where they placed students according to their IQ's. The principal indicated that Dennis was doing 8th grade work while in the 5th grade and excelling in his studies. He also had the music director speak to me about Dennis' trumpet playing, indicating that Dennis had the potential of being a great trumpeter with the sound and adaptation to music. By sound, Dennis had a large bore which meant he had the capability of projecting sound from the trumpet as a singer does with voice in opera. I knew Dennis was special in many ways by learning on his own; perhaps by curiosity or by taking apart a clock or car engine with his dad, and putting it together (self-learned) His last year at college, he asked if he should focus on the professional music field or the medical field as he studied to be a dr. Money was tight since his father deserted family and although Dennis was given a full scholarship at a prestigious college (Amherst,MA)it was tough financially on personal expenses (car, clothing, etc.) I sometimes wonder about the greatness Dennis would have achieved if he had not passed on accidentally. A most tragic and sad departure after all his studies, knowledge and love for his fellow man. I lost a treasure and am thankful for my years with Dennis. He is with the angels, so they say, but my loss is felt everyday.


OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:

IN MEMORY OF: Geoffrey Philip James Edwards
AGE: 18
DATES: 6May1984-22May2002
CAUSE: drug overdose given by a friend who left him alone in distress
WRITTEN BY: Karen Lyn Jenkins

: My son Geoff always gave me pride because of who he was not what he did. Though he did do a lot in his short life Geoff just being Geoff made me laugh, cry in joy and pain, warmed my spirit and soul and is the greatest joy I ever had in my life. The love and pride I had in him made me glow within. He was and is the most special gift God ever gave to me. I felt truly blessed by him even when he was being ornery and difficult. He was my greatest love. He was me in personality and spirit which is why we bonked heads quite a few times. He was a gift from God even for the short time he was with me. He was always independent and strong willed (like his mom). He had a wonderful feel for those who were in trouble or pain and always reached out to them to help, lend a shoulder or just to listen. I was proud of him when he got into the college he wanted; proud when he played soccer, football and basketball. Football was his sport. His trophies still grace our home. I was proud at any good he did and he did much good. He always took in his friends when they were in trouble. They slept here and were able to distance themselves from their trouble and talk to Geoff about the issues. They also spoke to Cal and I if they felt they needed adult help. I always made sure parents knew where their child was and that they were safe. He was a great, good friend and mentor to younger kids. He was my joy and hope for the future. I miss him so much and would so much loved to have known what his future held for him. It has been a long, hard, painful 10 years since he left us. It is like it was just yesterday.



MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO, BUMPER STICKER, WINDOW STICKER.....

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted- GSW
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Adam's mom

: I have a memorial sticker on the back window of my car. It is the outline of a soldier holding a gun with a helmet. It has his name and birthday and memorial dates. What I love about it is it is two-sided, so I it can be seen from the outside, and I can also see it from the inside of the car in my rear view window.


QUESTION: HOW HAS DEATH CHANGED YOU?
(see the news section for a new question)

IN MEMORY OF: Shannon David Burns
AGE: 33
DATES: 10-30-2009
CAUSE: head injury at work
WRITTEN BY: Shannon's Mom (Christine)

: How has the death of my child changed my life?

All I can tell you is that your life will never be the same from that point forward. No one is ever prepared to receive that kind of news. The suddenness of the event still plays over and over in my mind. The goodbyes that we never got to say, the holidays never shared, the phone calls that never come anymore, missing his smiling face.

Its been three years since my son passed. It has given me time to try to concentrate on the wonderful things my son has taught me. He lived simple, material things didn't matter to him. He called his friends and family all the time and kept in touch with everyone. He would often stop to help a stranger in need. We have tried to live our lives as he did. It brings us some peace. After all, life is far too short.

Tell those you love, how much you love them every chance you get. If you have been meaning to make a call to a friend, do it before its too late. Give of yourself to help someone in need all year round. Time slips by too quickly. If you were to pass tomorrow, will those you love know how much you love them? Don't miss out on this opportunity.

I keep my son's love alive inside me every time I tell someone I love them. I know this is what he would want us all to do. Yes our lives are forever changed and I hope that anyone else that experiences this tragedy, will eventually begin to heal and feel their childs love deep inside.

This is what works for me. It may not work for everyone. You will eventually find your own way of coping and living the rest of your life. Healing is so very hard. The whole in my heart will forever be there but I will try to fill it with his love in all I do and forever carry it with me.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter



Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

THE LITTLE BLUE VASE

It was Mother's Day! Luke was 3 years old and Emily (Luke's sister) was almost 5. On Mother's Day I always had to pretend that I was sleeping while Robin (my husband) got up with the kids and they all prepared breakfast for me and served it to me in bed. I could hear the giggles and the shhhhh's drifting down the hallway from the kitchen along with the aroma of good things to eat. I knew my two little sweethearts were so excited to cook for me and I could hardly wait to see what they had prepared. I could hear the rattle of the tray as the dishes clanged together while Emily and Luke tiptoed down the hallway with their Dad to the door of our bedroom. I pulled the covers up to my chin and closed my eyes just before the door burst open with the sweet sounds of "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!" Emily and Luke ran and jumped in the bed with me while Robin set the tray in my lap. There on the tray was a little glass bottle that had been hand painted with poster paint and in that little bottle was a little purple plastic flower. I said "Who made this beautiful vase?" Luke replied as he squeezed my neck "I made if for you Mommy." I told him how much I loved it and what a wonderful job he did on it. He was still hanging on to my neck as I looked at such a beautiful decoration on my tray full of wonderful surprises. Oh what treats they bestowed upon me.... a glass of orange juice, a cup of coffee, some odd-shaped pancakes, and something that looked mysteriously like scrambled eggs. No fancy restaurant could ever compete with that early morning Mother's Day breakfast served with much more love than nourishment by my sweet little boy and girl. The company that surrounded me was fit for a Queen. I sat there in my bed and ate every single bite of my special breakfast except for a few shared with the smiling faces of my two children sitting next to me. That is exactly how I felt that Mother's Day morning..... like a Queen.

After breakfast we all got dressed for Church. We arrived at church dressed up for the special occasion. Robin was wearing his suit, Emily was in her pale blue chiffon dress, Luke had on his little dress pants and dress shirt, and I was wearing a pretty dress that had a flared skirt. During church there was recognition of all mothers by the mothers standing up. Oh I was so proud that day when I stood there with my husband and 2 children seated in the pew next to me.

After church service everyone was standing just outside the church door talking in groups. Luke and Emily were right there with us. Luke was holding on to my leg as we stood there talking. There were other groups of people behind us talking also. I kept feeling a draft, but didn't think too much of it. I just thought that the wind was blowing. As I was talking I felt that draft again! I looked behind me and Luke had the bottom of my dress in his hands pulled up above his head providing a perfect view for all the groups of people behind me. I turned around quickly and pulled my skirt down, although it was already too late. There were sounds of snickering from the other people standing behind me. I'm sure it was the talk at the table of a lot of Mother's Day celebrations that day. I was so very embarrassed that I told Robin we had better go. Once we all got safely into the car I looked around at my family as they solemly looked back at me. I was expecting some words of encouragement, but instead there was a burst of laughter coming from the three of them. I gasped and I'm sure I had a very discerning look on my face. But as the laughter continued on the drive home, I couldn't help but laugh too.

When we got back home from church I placed that little blue vase and flower in the very center of the table. They served me a wonderful dinner prepared by my husband. We all bowed our heads as Robin said a beautiful prayer and thanked God for giving his children a wonderful mother. I was so touched.

That special day was a long, long time ago but the memories of it are very fresh in my mind. That precious little vase and flower still rests in a special display cabinet in our home that holds all of my favorite treasures. I take it out every Mother's Day and just hold it and absorb all those feelings and memories from that day long ago. I can't help but smile as a tear runs down my face because sometimes..... I even feel a little draft.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



PAIN IS THE PRICE

A young girl labored to give birth,
Long ago in some yesterday.
To bring her son into this world.....
Pain was the price she had to pay.

When she gazed upon his tiny face,
All pain vanished from within,
Her pain no longer lingered,
She was with her little man.

He grew so fast, the years went by,
Then off to school he flew.
Her pain came back, a different kind,
Caused from a heart that's blue.

As time went on his mother found,
That this pain too will pass.
Just by the glow upon his face,
As he told of his day in class.

There were many times he struggled,
Through illness and a world unfair.
Her pain returned within her heart,
The pain from his despair.

He learned to deal with illness,
And forgiveness was in his heart.
She saw his unconditional love,
And her pain began to part.

Then, one day, school was over,
And her little man was grown.
Her pain returned the day he left,
To set out on his own.

He worked so hard and did the things,
That made his mother smile.
Her pain had vanished once again,
She was happy for awhile.

Then one dark and lonely night,
God took him from her hands.
Her pain came back, an unknown pain,
That she could not understand.

She knows her son is waiting,
They'll walk hand in hand someday.
But, until the day they reunite.....
Pain is the price she has to pay.


© 2002 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

MOTHER AND CHILD REUNION

"Mother and Child Reunion" is a song by Paul Simon recorded in 1972. This was Simon's first single as a solo artist. It was released as a single on February 5, 1972, reaching #4 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 charts.

Simon wrote this in response to the Jimmy Cliff song "Vietnam;" a song about a mother receiving a letter about her son's death on the battlefield. Simon recorded this song in Jamaica using Cliff's musicians. Simon came up with the title after seeing a chicken and egg dish called "Mother and Child Reunion" on a menu in Chinatown, New York.

source: Wikipedia & songfacts.com



MOTHER AND CHILD REUNION

No, I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, little darling of mine

I canít for the life of me
Remember a sadder day
I know they say let it be
But it just donít work out that way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again

No, I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, little darling of mine

I just canít believe itís so
Though it seems strange to say
I never been laid so low
In such a mysterious way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again

But I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away

Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away

~ Words & music by Paul Simon


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Geoffrey Philip James Edwards
AGE: 18
DATES: 6 May 1984 - 22 May 2002
CAUSE: heroin overdose
WRITTEN BY: Karen Lyn Jenkins

: This dedication is to my precious Angel Geoffrey Philip James Edwards - born 6 May 1984, died 22 May 2002. My heart still bleeds like it happened yesterday. My beloved son, I miss you so much and this pain and sorrow never goes away. You are the best thing that ever happened in my life.

IN MEMORY OF: Christopher Ronald Faller
AGE: 7 1/2
DATES: May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
CAUSE: viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
SUBMITTED BY: Maria (Mommy)

: If Roses Grow In Heaven

If Roses grow in Heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Son's arms
and tell him they're from me.

Tell him I love him and miss him,
and when he turns to smile,
place a kiss upon his cheek
and hold him for awhile.

Because remembering him is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.

~ Author Unknown.

Dedicated to my son Christopher from your Mommy who loves and misses you with every breath I take


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." ~ Abraham Lincoln

MEMBER QUOTE:

"No matter how young or old in their passing, they are our children and we are mothers for life." ~ Dolores Tucker 2011

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
WRITTEN BY: Monika Hedglin

Mother and Son

Sometimes when I sit very still and very quiet
I can almost hear you calling me ..."Hey Mom".....
We all know... almost doesn't count

By Monika Hedglin in memory of Josh Hedglin


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Robert Walton
AGE: 1 Day Old
DATES: 10/11/63 11/11/63
CAUSE: Premature
WRITTEN BY: JOAN TAYLOR

: My Dearest brother Robert
I hope you are Happy with all your Angel Friend's in Heaven. I bet you get lots of love and hugs from Dad. I so wish that I could have got to know you Robert it would have been so lovely having another brother in my life. I often wonder what you would have been like today if you would have looked like Dad. If you would have been married with children of your own, I often think these things Robert. But God needed another Angel so he chose you my precious brother. Robert you are in the loving arms of Jesus he will take good care of you Robert. Robert you are Gone But Not Forgotten my beautiful baby brother. Sending lots of little kisses up to Heaven for you Robert.
With all my love to you brother.
From your big sister Joan xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.


LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: David Jordan Bachner
AGE: 18
DATES: 1/16/91 - 8/11/09
CAUSE: Sudden Cardiac Arrest
WRITTEN BY: Rhonda Bachner

: My son David was born on January 16, 1991 and he died August 11, 2009. The day he was born was one of the happiest days of my life and the day he died was the worst day. It is every parent's nightmare that their child predecease them and, unless you have been there, there is nothing anyone can say to convey the kind of incomprehensible impact it is to lose a child.

There is much to say about the circumstances of David's birth; but what has become important to me is David's life. As a child, I can remember that he HAD to have a ball in his hand at all times. He would spend his days either kicking or throwing or batting a ball and he became an outstanding athlete out of the many hours he spent practicing. As David got older, it became clear that he was a gifted athlete and, while he played four seasons in high school, he was most noted for his career in high school baseball. He set school records with a 17-3 record, 1.50 ERA and 239 strikeouts. His senior season was one of the best in New Jersey history: 9-2 with a 0.97 ERA and 125 strikeouts in 64 2/3 innings.

The truth is sports, specifically baseball, were the most important thing to David, except there actually was one thing more important. David loved people. He loved his friends and he had friends in many, many groups. He had friends who were jocks, and friend that were "nerds" and friends that were "thugs" and friends that didn't fit in any of those categories. He was known for his smile and his ability to brighten someone's day if they were down, or lend an ear if they were upset, or buying them lunch if they were broke and none of that depended on anything other than there was a peer in need and David could do something to fill that need. David was the kind of kid that has that something special that comes along once in a lifetime. One of the most precious relationships to David was his girlfriend, Carolyn. If you knew David, you knew Carolyn. And vise versa. People were always tempted to talk about them as though they were high school sweethearts and, indeed, they WERE high school sweethearts, but they were also much, much more than that. They were the type of couple that when one wept, the other tasted salt. In David's passing, a part of Carolyn went with him and, while she would, of course, resurrect from this tragedy, her life would never, ever be the same.

David died on August 11, 2009. It was three week before he would have gone to Seton Hall University. It was three weeks before all of his friends left for school as well. The community was devastated at the news of David's death and the outpouring of grievers and the expressions of their grief were, and frankly still are, overwhelming. The viewing and services occurred over two days and the lines of people at the church were non-stop. Kids made murals with thousands of pictures of David. The baseball teams - both his high school team and the boys from Seton Hall - gathered in the church were David's viewing was held and they openly wept. The kids organized a baseball game where everyone wore t-shirts with Bachner 16 on the back and Unhittable on the front. These original shirts were the very first offered in what is now Unhittable Apparel and the David Jordan Bachner Memorial Fund was created out of kids creating t-shirts and putting together a baseball game. As I said, the outpouring of grievers and their expressions were overwhelming and beyond touching.

I developed a FB page called "In loving memory of David Jordan Bachner" and this site allowed kids to stay connected with David. What was important to me was that kids would be able to go on with their lives, even though I was devastated that my son was not going on with his life. For the first year, many kids wrote to David almost daily. They told him about their days, they told him about things they did, they prayed to him and told him special intentions and so forth. They remained connected to him, to each other and to us through this Facebook page and I began to realize that they were "cyber grieving." What I learned is that, in the wake of any tragedy, you just can't tell what will arise. Very shortly after David's death, people who never even knew David started to order the Unhittable shirts. And they started to post on his memorial page pictures of them wearing their Unhittable shirts if they were somewhere special. In the beginning the pictures were from parties and vacations with their family; but soon kids started sending pictures from Europe and Asia and literally all over the world. They wore their shirts to places David never got to see. In response to all of those photos of people in their Unhittable shirts, I created another Facebook page called "Unhittable Across the Globe". What became clear to me is that David's life is not one that would be easily forgotten; it was almost as if the Universe demanded Unhittable Across the Globe.

In one regard, it would be easy for me to say that my son is remembered to this day and that his friends wear shirts in his honor no matter where they go. That idea, soothing as it is for me, diminishes what the honor that David brought to life. "Unhittable Across the Globe" is a site that serves a dual purpose. For sure, the site honors David, his life, the contribution he was to people around him. In addition, and possible more importantly, it has his friends remain connected to the values and character traits that people loved about David and it calls them to keep those messages alive and to spread them literally "Across the Globe". I think of it as a grass roots movement for people to be their highest possible selves and to treat people with love and respect. Anything else would be a dishonoring of David's life.

When David was a freshman in high school, a friend of mine asked him if he had three wishes what would they be. David, without a moment's hesitation said, that his first wish would be for his family and friends to be happy. The next wish would be to play for the NY Yankees so that he could make enough money to open sport facilities that would ensure that all children, rich or poor, would be able to explore the benefits of sports. At fifteen years old, he was clear that children need a positive way to channel their energy and to explore what's possible for them. He thought he could make a difference for kids who would otherwise possibly be forgotten. Every penny raised from the sales of Unhittable Apparel goes to fund scholarships, baseball teams and other various events that are a natural expression of David's dream and generosity.

This is the story of how I created a way to honor my son's life and a way that keeps his memory and spirit alive. Every day people go to the Unhittable site to buy apparel or to see their pictures posted. I am but one mother writing about her child. I believe that each child brings to the world a message that is both unique and essential. It isn't necessarily that every child's death should be honored in a FB page; but the message is that every child's life deserves to be remembered in a way that honors them, for whatever the length of time, no matter how short their life. This is my story. I welcome you to share yours. I invite you to find a way to honor the life that was lost. We grieve because it gives us something to do with the unbearable sadness of losing a child, but we honor their lives because it is in the honoring that their life takes on a purpose that makes a difference.

Please know that your story is as important as mine. If you are interested in Unhittable Apparel or if you want a first hand look at how I set up my site, please feel free to explore the site at

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Unhittable-Across-The-Globe/249605558400483


POETRY:


IN MEMORY OF: Denise Rosaleen Vaughan
AGE: 6
DATES: July 14, 1978--December 28, 1984
CAUSE: Brain tumor, cancer.
WRITTEN BY: Mommy, Rosaleen Vaughan

A Flower For Mother's Day

A flower for Mother's Day I send with love,
As I watch over you from above.

Do not grieve, I am happy and free
From pain, illness and disease.

I know you miss me and I know how much you care.....
I am always with you, in your heart.....right there.

Happy Mother's Day from Heaven Mom.

Author Rosaleen Deschamps


SIGNS:


IN MEMORY OF: Jason "Beau" Morgan
AGE: 23
DATES: July 31, 1979 - Ocotber 10, 2002
CAUSE: Brain Aneurysm
WRITTEN BY: Diane Morgan, Beau's Mom

I was driving by a church, And the sign in front of the church said "Stairway from Heaven," which I thought was amazing because of Beau Requesting "Stairway to Heaven" for his funeral a year before, and when I saw this sign, it made me think that Beau was telling me that there is a stairway from Heaven, too. For him and all the angels to come to us in Different ways, that his spirit is here with me. And all the other Mom's and Dad's babies, children are with them Too. They can come to us by "Stairway from Heaven." Just like Linda (my sister) has said, the other side is like a thin veil; And closer than most think". I believe that Beau is telling me that he will be sending signs and coming to me down the stairway from Heaven.


IN THEIR OWN WORDS:

written or said by our children






IN MEMORY OF: Colin Rivans Stephens
AGE: 22
DATES: September 2, 1976 - March 29, 1999
CAUSE: Suicide
SUBMITTED BY: His Mum, Alice
WRITTEN BY: Colin

To the most important person to me,
I hope your dreams come true.
Thanks for always being there and caring.
Thanks for taking care of me.
I'll always listen to you when you need to talk.
And thanks for listening to me.
Happy Mothers Day
From, Colin
With lots of love.
1992


SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Geoffrey Philip James Edwards
AGE: 18
DATES: 6 May 1984 - 22 May 2002
CAUSE: heroin overdose
WRITTEN BY: Karen Lyn Jenkins

: Geoffrey Philip James Edwards would be 29 years old on 6 May 2013. He lived 18 years and was killed by a heroin overdose given to him by Nick who then left him in distress in his room. Nick left our house and never bothered telling us Geoff was in trouble. We found him dead in his bed in the morning. Why? This question has haunted me for 11 years now. Why Geoff? Why not Nick who was using heroin consistently. I question and question and question but I get no answers. My son was the joy and love of my life. He was a sparkle in this world, Nick is a wart. I am left to trudge down the road of my life without my child and Nick gets off free. Is that fair? No. I know life is not fair but why my son who was a decent kid? I don't know and I wish I did. I wish I could go back to that day and kick Nick out of my home and my son's life. He was and always will be a loser. Nick has a child and my son will never get that chance. I will never be a grandmother to my own flesh and blood. I wish I had answers when my heart just physically aches with the pain and sorrow of my loss. I wish I knew the answers. I wish I had some idea of why it was Geoff and not Nick who died. I wish on Nick misery like I suffer, I wish on him sorrow like I feel. I just pray to God that He helps me deal with my pain and sorrow. It's a never-ending battle to just walk through my life.


DREAMS:



IN MEMORY OF: Denise Rosaleen Vaughan
AGE: 6
DATES: July 14, 1978--December 28, 1984
CAUSE: Brain tumor, cancer.
WRITTEN BY: Rosaleen (Vaughan) Bellamymy

: I have had some lovely dreams of my ^Angel^ daughter Denise. The one's that stand out in my mind most are the one's where Denise comes to me in her lovely long skirts or dresses and is dancing around and very happy. She is smiling and pain free. I wrote a poem about Denise and it is the same as the dreams. Denise loved to dress up and look so pretty....every day I would help her get dressed up and we would dance around the house. So when I have these dreams, I truly feel Denise is telling her Mommy that she is fine and happy and waiting for me. I know in my heart that we will be happily re-united one day. Until that time I send all my love to you my beautiful little girl and I pray you enter my dreams again....soon. Love and hugs Denise. xxxxxx


HUMOROUS MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 6-11-60 9-16-86
CAUSE: Accidental
WRITTEN BY: Dolores

: I remember a time in October when Dennis and his brother Dale set up sounds for Halloween on the new speaker system. They were teenagers and we lived in a large home. From the second story window they created scary sounds and would set it up in the evening on Halloween. It was quite effective as the youngsters in the neighborhood would look up after listening to the spooky sounds and then run off. There was never a dull moment with my two sons who had so much in common with one another: instrumental music (band, orchestra), photography to the point of setting up an dark room after purchasing an enlarger, singing in choir and so much more. There always was joy and surprise from my sons. Dennis and Dale were the best of friends and there was laughter in seeing this beautiful relationship amongst two brothers.


OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:


IN MEMORY OF: Adrienne Leigh Ingram
AGE: 28
DATES: June 25, 1979 - December 2, 2007
CAUSE: Respiratory failure cased by mitochondrial disease
SUBMITTED BY: Beverly Ingram

A special remembrance of my precious daughter, Adrienne Leigh Ingram, occurred on Mother's Day 2001. She was 22 years old and had mitochondrial disease, a neuromuscular disease that eventually took her life in 2007. She was in lots of pain and could not go out shopping. She had no money to buy me a Mother's Day card or gift. Her dad had offered to go out and buy a gift and card for her to give me, but she refused. She wanted to give me something special from her, so she made me a special Mother's Day card surrounded by hearts and flowers that she drew. She wrote the sweetest words to express her love for me and thanking me for all I had done for her. She surrounded the card with purple tissue paper and placed it in a frame from which she had taken the picture it had held. That was the most precious gift I have ever received on Mother's Day. I have it on the dresser now and think of how special and wonderful my daughter was. Every Mother's Day I look at that gift and remember my daughter's kindness and love. We always had a special bond. I love her very much and always will.


MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO, BUMPER STICKER, WINDOW STICKER.....

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted- GSW
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Proud mom of Adam, a soldier

: Adam had his tattoo touched up the day before Easter, during the 11 months after he came back from Iraq. The first Saturday before Easter, I had a tattoo inscribe. It is blue angel wings, and his name above the wings in diamond Gothic script. Then a few weeks later, I went back and had his angel date added on under the wings. The manager did not charge me, he tore up the paperwork and told the artist that "it is a touch up". He had a picture of his step-son's face tattooed on his forearm. There is truly more pain out there then we know.


QUESTION: If you could relive a day that you spent with your child (without changing anything, what one day (although there may be many) would you choose to relive and why?

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted- GSWH
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Proud mom of Adam, a soldier

: Adam and I had many times we would go see a movie, and we would go out to eat. I wish I could relieve one of those days. Just to spend some time again with him.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter




Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

A LITTLE IMPAIRED

I've been known to seemingly talk to my self in public, but I'm really talking to Luke. Most people think doing that is abnormal. If I concentrate I can hear his voice, I can hear his footsteps, and I can feel his touch. Even I, sometimes question myself and wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me.

My husband (Robin) is an engineer and has been since 1975. A few years before Luke died, Robin decided that he wanted a change from engineering management, so he quit his job and went into real estate, and was very successful at it. Luke and Robin were real estate partners for about one year. What a blessing that was!!! Then Luke died at the age of 21. Robin tried to continue in real estate but could not keep up the smiles and happy face that goes with selling and listing. So he quit real estate, we sold our house in Phoenix, and moved north Flagstaff, Arizona.

Finding an engineering job in Flagstaff was almost impossible so Robin took a construction engineering job that was west of Phoenix, about three hours from our cabin in Flagstaff. He worked in that job for about a year and a half (the length of the contract) and we had to live apart for most of that time. He knew the job was coming to an end soon so he decided to take his Profession Engineering Licensing Exam to open up opportunities closer to the cabin. It is a very difficult exam so he had extensive studying to do. The test is given twice a year in April and October. These months happen are the most emotional for Robin because Luke's birthday is in October and Luke's death day is in April. He studied and took the exam in April, but wasn't sure if he passed it, because it was extremely difficult. The job west of Phoenix had ended about a month earlier and Robin was looking all over the country and the world for a job in engineering. At that particular time jobs were pretty scarce in Engineering. If he had his Professional Engineers License he felt he could probably get work closer to home by being hired on contract. Flagstaff is a smaller town than Phoenix, so the opportunities are very limited. But felt he probably did not pass the exam. It was June and he was still anxiously waiting for the results of the exam in the mail.

About a week before Father's Day Robin and I had lunch at a Chinese Restaurant. When they brought our fortune cookies Robin's fortune was..... SOMETHING NICE IS COMING TO YOU IN THE MAIL. Robin said......"Maybe it is my EXAM SCORES".

The next Saturday (the day before Father's Day) we went to the P.O. to pick up our mail. The exam scores were there! We both sat in the car, holding our breath as Robin opened the letter. He read it and just started crying because he had passed the exam! Now, so many doors were open to him including the possibility to live closer to home. Robin looked at the license number/file number listed on the letter and it was 21143. (Luke died at the age of 21, in the year 1, in the month 4 (April), on the 3rd day.) Robin started crying again and said "This is probably my father's day gift from Luke." We were so excited, and crying, and amazed all at the same time. I said "Okay, we are going back to that restaurant again today and see if Luke has any more messages for you." After eating they brought us our fortune cookies again. Robin opened his and it said "YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT NEW BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT SHAPING UP." Robin started crying again at the table and then flipped his fortune over and read the little message on the back. It stated "HAVE A GOOD HOLIDAY."

Somehow, someway Luke found a way to get a special Father's day gift to his dad and to wish him a Happy Father's day. I'm sure a lot of people think that we are a little crazy, a little impaired, a little unwell. But just because Luke is not here physically does not mean that he is not here. We haven't lost our minds..... we lost our son.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



TRICKS

Sometimes I think I hear his car
Coming slowly up the drive.
I run up to the window.
I look out through the blinds.

I hear the gravel crackle
And I hear the engine roar,
But As I stand there at the window
I can't find him like before.

Why does my mind play tricks on me?
Such a cruel thing for it to do,
But I still listen anyway
As I search for what is true.

The days they get so lonely
And the nights are filled with tears
I just can seem to understand
Where he's been for all these years.

I think I hear him at the door
And I think I feel his hug.
But I guess it's all just make-believe
Created by undying love.

My mind is resting quietly now
And it's late into the night,
But there I go imagining
All the things I can not fight.

He's coming up front porch steps
And he's walking to the door
As I peep out through the window
My mind plays tricks..... once more.


© 2013 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

UNWELL

"Unwell" is the title of a song by American pop rock group Matchbox Twenty. It was released in April 2003. It was written by Matchbox Twenty lead singer Rob Thomas. It was very successful on the radio, spending 20 weeks at the top of the U.S. Billboard Adult Top 40 chart, two weeks atop the Billboard Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks chart,[1] as well as reaching #5 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.[1] The song was nominated for a Grammy Award in 2004.

Rob Thomas states that he wrote the song as a metaphor for humanity in general, a song for people who are "messed up and feel alone like that. We all feel a little messed up sometimes... you're not alone." Thomas also said: "Unwell is about having a despondent relationship with yourself. In the end, it's a positive song, because you come to terms with the fact you're not crazy."

The song also was the second most-played song in the United States in 2003 according to Billboard magazine. The music video was #1 on VH1's Top 40 Videos of 2003.

source: Wikipedia



UNWELL

All day starin' at the ceilin' makin' friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices tellin' me that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for somethin'
Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be, me

I'm talkin' to myself in public, dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talkin' about me
I can hear them whisper, and it makes me think
There must be somethin' wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinkin', somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talkin' in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're takin' me away

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be yeah, how I used to be

How I used to be
How I used to be

Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
how I used to be
I'm just a little unwell...

~ Words & music by Rob Thomas


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 6-11-60 9-16-86
CAUSE: Accidental
WRITTEN BY: Dolores Tucker

: Dennis was 26 years old and his birthday would have been on June 11. May he know the love that I hold for him and the void I have in my heart. He is with me in spirit through music and prayer. God bless you Dennis.

IN MEMORY OF: Matthew Ross
AGE: 36 minutes
DATES: 6/7/1972 - 6/7/1972
CAUSE: Congenital Kidney Failure
WRITTEN BY: Mom

: The day is as clear today as it was 41 years ago when God gave me a precious baby boy then decided he needed him in heaven. I have loved you from the moment you were concieved and I love you still my angel. I'll hold you in my arms when I meet you in Heaven.

IN MEMORY OF: Jennifer DeGeneres
AGE: 42
DATES: October 16, 1969 - June 22, 2012
CAUSE: Complications of Lupus


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

"Everything you can imagine is real." ~ Pablo Picasso

MEMBER QUOTE:

I am not the only one feeling this pain." ~ Debbie Nichols 2011

MEMORIAL QUOTE:


IN MEMORY OF: Denise Marie McCormick
AGE: 40 years old
DATES: 12/7/1963 - 2/28/2004
CAUSE: Murdered
SUBMITTED BY: Sherrie Powell

Denise used to always say: "Yea right!"


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Clinton Terry Milam
AGE: 10 yrs 4 mos
DATES: 04/07/93-08/05/03
CAUSE: Traumatic Brain Injury
WRITTEN BY: Susan

: My sweet Clint,

You know that June is a very special month for our family. Anna is graduating from high school on June 1st. I think you would be very surprised at the young woman she has become. She was your sweet and silly niece and best friend. She is drawing again. She put down her love of art the two of you shared when you left us. Did you have a hand in this? I bet you did.

June 5th is your Dad's birthday. It has been a bittersweet day each year you have not been with us. He loves and misses you more than life itself. Do you think you could send him a sign that would show him without a doubt that you are still here with him. (when you are not busy sharing your joy and sunshine all over Heaven!)

June 16th is Father's Day. Not a bittersweet day for Dad, it's a rough day for him. Maybe another confirmation from you that you are still close-by, loving him would be so nice. Maybe... please...

I've asked God to show me what you are doing in Heaven and what you look like today. It hasn't happened yet, but I won't give up. You are my sweet Clint forever and a day.....

I love you,
Mom


LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 6-11-60 9-16-86
CAUSE: Accidental
WRITTEN BY: Dolores Tucker

: Having had three sons were the treasures of my life. They gave me consolation, joy and a reason to stay in a marriage that was one of sacrifice. Marrying an Army officer, moving every three years for 25 years, the most stabilizing factor were my sons. When Dennis was born at Ft. Benning, GA, he was the antithesis of happiness: always smiling and just happy. He fulfilled so much hope for me and my son Dale. David was already in college when their father left for a younger woman. This is not meant to be about me, but to note how devoted my two sons were to me. They both struggled at college with no support from their father, and had scholarships because of their high IQ's. When Dennis was found with a music score in his hand (Handel's Messiah) after two weeks at a prestigious college, it was a shock. There was so much hope for him as he had genius qualities, studying to be a doctor and played classical trumpet. His brother Dale was his best friend, so we were both devastated of our loss.
I have a website: tcfatlanta.org/memorials/DennisTucker/Dennis.html
Hopefully, you will be able to view my writings to Dennis over the years. Password: Forever Remembered


POETRY:



IN MEMORY OF: Colin Rivans Stephens
AGE: 22
DATES: September 2, 1976 - March 29, 1999
CAUSE: Suicide
WRITTEN BY: His Mum, Alice

Jesus lead me in the darkness,
lead me to your light,
please take away my pain that worsens in the night.
When I search the net the world is all asleep,
You lead me to read things that makes my heart a-leap.
I'm finding "gifts" these days that have no financial gain,
these gifts give calm and comort and help take away the pain.
When all is said and done,
the journey's taken me here,
to a place where I am more accepting of your truth,
which tells me do not fear.

In those dark moments when I forget that you are,
after all, the potter,
please let your spirit fill my soul,
like a sponge absorbing water.
I ask you for gifts of the spiritual kind to lighten my heavy load,
so please Jesus, just one more reuqest,
give me the patience to wait for you
as I walk this lonely road.

Written my his mum, Alice


SIGNS:

IN MEMORY OF: Joey Marshall Whiteman
AGE: 21 years, 360 days
DATES: 9/8/80-9/3/02
CAUSE: auto accident
WRITTEN BY: Terrie Whiteman

: One lucky day a woman who I did not know, came into my life and read me. I had looked so long for someone to come along and tell me things about my son who had passed that wouldn't have known me from a bag of beans, and there she was. She said, while I was either eating, being on the computer, washing the dishes, I would feel someone pass by me and I would feel something brush against my hair, oh how often that happened. Then he said he saw me at the window, looking out into space, which I do often. To throw away my wheelchair into a grave, I still can't figure that one out. He's watching his little Skylee growing up and one day he will see her again. He misses me and will leave something he wrote or made in a place I wouldn't expect, that has already come true, about a million times. All I can say is, look for the signs, they are there and are taken for anything but a sign from our angel, thank you my sweet Joey I love you with all my heart and soul. Love and Kisses, Mommy 5/2/13


SPECIAL MEMORIES:


IN MEMORY OF: Lindsay Ann Brashier
AGE: 18
DATES: Dec. 19, 1977 - Nov. 10, 1996
SUBMITTED BY: Marilyn, Lindsay's Mom

This happened way after I lost Lindsay. It dawned on me that she had Frequent Flier milage with some airlines. And I thought I needed to transfer them to my accounts. That is what all the airlines did, no problem, and I enclosed newspaper clippings and copies of the death certificate. Long story short, Delta asked me if she had a will and if so, did she designate those miles for me. The nerve. I said (probably yelled) what 18 yr. old has a will? Seriously? Duh!


DREAMS:



IN MEMORY OF: Christine Knapp RN BSN
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: GSWH
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Proud mom of Adam, a soldier

: Two weeks ago I was dreaming I was walking through a room, saying some word starting with the letter "P". I didn't see Adam, but he was sitting at a white table that looked like concrete or marble. As I walked past, he turned around and smiled that great big smile of his. I also sensed my grandpa's presence, but I woke up. I was so happy, I hadn't had a dream about him for at least 6 months.


HUMOROUS MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30 years
DATES: February 28, 1970 - January 10, 2001
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymhoma
SUBMITTED BY: Arlene, Danny's forever Mom

Danny was outside playing....I don't remember if he was actually IN the pool or not. He came running in and said this "gigantic bumble bee" was sitting on the edge of the pool "smiling" at him. He made it sound like this "BEE" was a 747 plane.....lol. Well....one smiling face deserves another....even if it was from a bumble bee. How I miss the DRAMA !!! Danny's Forever Mom


OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 6-11-60 9-16-86
CAUSE: Accidental
WRITTEN BY: Dolores

: Pride is a word relating to Dennis, who was a young man of all seasons. He was a happy child, constantly smiling and helping everyone including the downtrodden. He indicated that when he fulfills his requirements of becoming a doctor, he wanted to help those that could not afford to pay for his assistance. He was prolific in his speech, a 4.0 student in the best college in MA at the time, a classical trumpeter, a chorister (Handel's Messiah Score) found on his bed when he passed. Dennis was an achiever and had so much to live for, but for the wrong prescribed medication, would be alive today. There will always be a void in my heart. God bless you Dennis


MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO, BUMPER STICKER, WINDOW STICKER.....


IN MEMORY OF: Denise Marie McCormick
AGE: 40 year old
DATES: 12/7/1963 - 2/28/2004
CAUSE: Murdered
SUBMITTED BY: Sherrie Powell

This is where I am today... over 9 years after Denise's murder.

I continued to pursue my photography on a suggestion from one of my favorite therapists. Because Denise was so proud of my photography and was one of my strongest supporters, he suggested I continue with it to honor her. That's what I've done. I pour my heart and soul into my work to honor Denise's belief in me and what I wanted to do. I think my photography and Jack's support are what kept me alive.

I've been getting kudos and accolades from fellow photographers and a Master Photographer so I guess I really have come of age in my own right. A Master Photographer we know jokingly told his wife in front of me, "Sherrie's decided to come out." LOL! I laughed and said "Yes. I have." LOL!

One of my most recents shots is an early morning shot. "Daybreak", is one that has received numerous accolades and was taken on one of those rare occasions when I actually got out of bed before dawn. It was only because I couldn't sleep. The results were well worth it so maybe Denise woke me up to get that shot. I still fight with a terrible sleep pattern and my PTSD. I still can't get to sleep at night and then I sleep until 10 or 11 AM. It sucks because morning light is the most wonderful to shoot. I just can't seem to get it together as far as my sleep pattern goes. I still have the times when I fall apart and lock myself in the house for days on end. Actually, I'm a recluse much of the time. I do well hiding behind my lens, but even that requires going out of the house and way toooooooo much of the time I can't even make myself get dressed...much to my husband's dismay. I'm so thankful he's patient with me. My photography forces me to get out...sometimes to shoot or go to my artists receptions, photo club meetings, farmers market, etc. If it weren't for that I don't know how often my husband would get me to leave the house.

The image I'm referring to in one of the new ones on my website http://www.sherriepowellphotography.com


QUESTION: If you could relive a day that you spent with your child (without changing anything, what one day (although there may be many) would you choose to relive and why?

(see the news section for a new question)

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
WRITTEN BY: Monika Hedglin

If Tomorrow I found,I could do it all again
If I was given one more chance to begin again.
I'd still choose you.
If tomorrow I found,I could do it all again
I would sit and hold you a little longer
If I was given one more chance
I would you read one more story book
I'd sit with you cradled in my arms
The whole night through
Just one more time...
If tomorrow I found,I could do it all again
I would build blocks with you a little longer
We'd take just one more long walk together...
Just Mom and Dad and thier son
If I was given more chance to do it all again
I'd still choose you.
If tomorrow I found I could do it all again
I'd sit and watch you draw one more picture
We'd count all the stars in the sky again
If I was given more chance to do it all again
We'd sit up and talk the whole night long
I'd tell you of how you had made life complete
I'd listen to all your dreams and plans
If I was given more chance to do it all again
I'd still choose you
If tomorrow I found I could begin again
I would stop the hands of time
the moment I chose you
Where ever you are my son
I will always love you.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter




Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

FREEDOM

We traveled America, the land of the free, with Emily (our daughter) and Luke (our son), beginning when they were very young. Luke was 6 months old when we took him on his very first camping trip. We first began camping in a tent, then from there we progressed to a trailer camper, then we bought a motor home. We had some wonderful times, and special memories traveling this beautiful country we lived in and were so thankful for our freedom to do so.

You know the old saying..."Getting there is half the fun." With Luke, it was so true, and it was probably MORE than half the fun. As a little fellow loved to aggravate his sister Emily who was just a few years older than him. Luke seemed to always be getting in trouble, at least once a day on the road. Since the only "ROOM" we had in the motor home was the bathroom, that was the designated TIME-OUT room. So at least once a day, Luke would spend a little time in the TIME-OUT room. But Luke was so efficient. He never wanted to waste any play time. After his 10 minutes were up, I would open the door to tell Luke that he could come out now. Well, I can't even count how many times I would open that door, and there was Luke, sitting on the toilet, with his pants around his ankles, making good use of his time with an expression of his freedom.

If anyone loved freedom, it was Luke. When he was about 4 years old we went to Florida, on one of those free vacations where we had to listen to a sales pitch for a timeshare. This was a timeshare for a campground site. Luke was a cute little, dark tanned boy, with dark brown hair in a bowl cut, with big intuitive eyes. We all, as a family, had to go to the club house for the presentation. As the woman was giving her sales talk she told us that along with the camp site this facility had a boat launch, a swimming pool, a laundry center and many other amenities. So after a rather long sales pitch she asked if we had any questions. And Luke said...."And what ARE those other amenities?" The woman was so overcome with shock and surprise, that a four-year old asked such a question, she was speechless. And of course we were overcome with laughter at Luke's amazing understanding and his freedom of speech.

That night after the sales pitch was over we all went to the bay for the Independence Day Celebration. We sat there on the beach, overlooking the water, huddled up next to each other watching an absolutely beautiful display of fireworks. There was a warm breeze blowing across the bay carrying the sound of a band playing patriotic music. I found it so amazing that so many people were there, but there was a sort of reverence as the fireworks exploded in the sky and reflected on the water and as the breeze carried the music to our ears. I saw a group of soldiers in the distance stand up and salute as the songs were playing, I felt as if my heart would burst with pride as a tear ran down my face realizing why we had our freedom and how those soldiers were a shining example of the wonderful country that we lived in. My husband Robin began explaining to Luke and Emily about the soldiers and how they and many others just like them were the reason that we had the freedom to sit on that beach, to listen to the music, and to watch the fireworks. As Robin was talking, I could see the sparkle of fireworks reflected right there in my children's eyes as they were taking in all that their dad had to say. It was just one of those unforgettable moments in time.

Many years later I found myself sitting on a bench in a beautiful and reverent place. There in the distance was a tiny flag blowing in the wind. Again, I was thankful for my freedom and the freedom that my son had while he was here on this earth. The laughter that Luke brought to us was amazing, but now it had to last a lifetime. I stared at his name on that gravestone as I remembered his sparking eyes that night so long ago when his dad told him all about the soldiers and how they gave us freedom. Through my tears and my pain I was thankful for the simple freedom of being there among all those headstones while I remembered my son. My son wasn't a soldier, but he had died with freedom........ because of what a soldier gave.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



A SOLDIER'S GRAVE

I passed a soldier's grave today
And I kneeled and said a prayer.
I wondered if our country knew
How much this soldier cared.

I walked around the graveyard
Thinking of the sacrifice
Of those that gave us freedom
And in the battle lost their life.

How some had died so far away
While they served our country well,
How some of them died back at home
After surviving battle's hell.

In the distance I saw someone
Holding up a little flag,
Then they knelt and placed it
On the grave where I had prayed.

I heard them say "I love you",
Then they stood up straight and tall
And said "I'm proud to be the parent
Of a child that chanced it all."

I thought about this freedom
That can never be repaid,
And I thought about my only son
Not a soldier, but in a grave.

Although he died, I'm thankful,
And although his years were few,
While he lived upon this earth
It was "freedom" that he knew.

I possess this simple freedom
Just to walk amongst the graves,
And mourn the death of my own son,
Because of what a soldier gave.

© 2009 - Christine Ross
in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Published
MAY 2010, Volume 25 No. 5
LIVING WITH LOSS magazine
Bereavement Publications, Inc.


Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.

"God Bless the USA" is an American patriotic song written and recorded by country music artist Lee Greenwood. It reached No. 7 on the Billboard magazine Hot Country Singles chart when originally released in the spring of 1984, and was played at the 1984 Republican National Convention with President Ronald Reagan and first lady Nancy Reagan in attendance, but the song gained greater prominence during the Gulf War in 1990 and 1991, as a way of boosting morale.

The popularity of the song rose sharply after the September 11 attacks and during the 2003 invasion of Iraq, and the song was re-released as a single, re-entering the country music charts at No. 16. The song was also re-recorded in 2003 and released as "God Bless the USA 2003". The song could often be heard on the radio after those events, and versions of the song are widely distributed online. The song also rose up in popularity in May 2011 when Osama bin Laden was killed by an American raid in Pakistan. Greenwood also wrote a Canadian version of this song called God Bless Canada.

Greenwood said that he "wanted to write it my whole life. When I got to that point, we were doing 300 days a year on the road, and we were on our fourth or fifth album on MCA. I called my producer, and I said I have a need to do this. I've always wanted to write a song about America, and I said we just need to be more united."

The reason behind the cities chosen in the song Greenwood says, "I'm from California, and I don't know anybody from Virginia or New York, so when I wrote itóand my producer and I had talked about itó[we] talked about the four cities I wanted to mention, the four corners of the United States. It could have been Seattle or Miami but we chose New York City and Los Angeles, and he suggested Detroit and Houston because they both were economically part of the basis of our economyóMotown and the oil industry, so I just poetically wrote that in the bridge."

source: Wikipedia



GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.

If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife
I'd thank my lucky stars to be livin' here today
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away

And I'm proud to be an American where as least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God bless the USA

From the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee
Across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea
From Detroit down to Houston and New York to LA
Well, there's pride in every American heart
And it's time to stand and say that

I'm proud to be an American where as least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God bless the USA

~ Words & music by Lee Greenwood


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Nicole Lorraine Ramsden
AGE: 12
DATES: 07/10/1997-02/22/10
CAUSE: leukemia
SUBMITTED BY: Mary R.

IN MEMORY OF: Denise Rosaleen Vaughan
AGE: 6
DATES: July 14, 1978--December 28, 1984
CAUSE: Brain tumor, cancer.
SUBMITTED BY: Rosaleen (Vaughan) Bellamy


IN MEMORY OF: Jason "Beau" Morgan
AGE: 23
DATES: July 31, 1979 - Ocotber 10, 2002
CAUSE: Brain Aneurysm
WRITTEN BY: Diane Morgan, Beau's Mom

Beau, my first born and BEAUtiful baby born on July 31, 1979, 8 lbs. 10oz., 21" long; my feelings when you were born were more than could be put into words. You were such a joy as you grew into a young boy, always laughing and enjoying the little things in life, loving and taking care of your younger brother, Brad. You grew up to be a BEAUtiful young man loving everyone unconditionally, making people laugh, and enjoying life to the fullest. Now, soon you will have your 34th Heavenly Birthday, on July 31, 2013, and I miss you more than ever. It is so hard to believe that so many years have passed and it seems like you just left this world, and at the same time like it's been an eternity. Beau, you will always be forever in my heart until we meet again at Heaven's Door. I love you so very much! PEACE

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted GSWH
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Adam's mom

: Dearest Adam,
A Happy Birthday wish July 1st. I miss you so much. That will never stop. Say hi to Grandpa. Thank You for ALL of the signs, and dreams. Please keep them coming. Take care of Allison, OK? I love you today and always,
Love, M<3M

IN MEMORY OF: LCpl Justin Linscott
AGE: 18
DATES: 10/23/1990 - 7/11/2009
CAUSE: Related to an auto accident
WRITTEN BY: Jerri Dean

: July 11, 2013 will be 4 years since Justin has passed. That is 4 birthdays, 4 Thanksgivings, 4 Christmases, 4-4th of Julys (one of his favorite holidays), 4 Halloweens (another favorite). And countless days without hearing his voice, seeing his smile, feeling his hugs. Time does not heal all wounds as this wound runs so very, very deep. Not even a infinite amount of time could heal. However with the passing of time the pain is not as raw or all-consuming as it once was. There are many days now where I can think of him with a smile, reflect on his life and laugh at the special memories. I truly never knew what real, heartbreaking pain was until that fateful day. Justin you are missed beyond the meaning of any words. I always look up at the stars at night and tell you I love you knowing you are able to hear me. Thank you for ALL the signs we receive to let us know you are always with us and always will be. Eternally Loved and Forever Missed ~ I love you beyond the stars Justin, my sweet, loving Baby J. ~Mom~

IN MEMORY OF OUR U.S. MILITARY ANGEL FRIENDS:

Staff Sergeant ADAM R. FIOCK *** HM2 ATHAN SCOTT ALLEN *** SPC Andrew Paul Wade *** ~: CORPORAL Brian Joseph Parker *** PFC BRANDON TYLER BESHADA *** Spc 4 Specialist Brandon Wesley Sgaggero *** Lance Corporal Brandon C. Dewey *** SPC Brandon Lee Stout *** A1C COREY CHRISTOPHER JAMES *** SFC Christopher Scott Paxton *** Corporal Christopher J. Lapka *** SFC Carlos Marcelino Santos-Silva *** ~: AIRMAN Daniel Bruce Conley *** Lance Corporal Dustin Marshall Rawls *** LIEUTENANT JG DOUGLAS WALTER LAMAY *** Spc Darrell W. Shipp *** Tech Sargent David Paul Heuslein *** SGT. DEREK CHRISTIAN WENTZ *** SGT David Samuel Collins *** Chief Petty Officer David N. Beaulieu *** Private Heath Douglas Warner *** PV2 ISAAC T CORTES *** SERGEANT JASON RANDALL JOHNSON *** AIRMAN JAMES NEAL SMITH *** PFC JOSHUA EUGENE HEDGLIN *** LANCE CORPRAL JESSE RYAN TRACEY *** SGT JASON ALAN SCHUMANN *** SSGT Jason Daniel Whitehouse *** special ops James E. "Wati" Waters *** Petty Officer 1st Class Joseph Adam McSween *** Specialist Joshua Clinton Farmer *** Lance Corporal Justin Douglas Linscott *** 3rd Class Petty Officer KEITH E. COMBS *** PFC Kerri Nicole Larsen *** ~: SARGENT LEE WILLIAM HARRIS *** Private 1st Class Louis MIchael (LOUIE) Johnson *** HC 2nd CLASS Marty Gillespie *** SPC4 MICHAEL LEE NEVILS *** Sgt. Michael Adam Marzano *** PFC Michael Ray Shelly *** Staff Sargent Michael G. Owen *** Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael Burton *** SPC. Nicholas E. Wilson *** SPECIALIST PHILIP CODY FORD *** SEA CADET E-3 PAMELA LYNNE REID *** SPC-4 RANDY REED HECOX *** Lance Corporal ROBERT (ROBBY) ROGERS III *** HN Robert Nathaniel Martens *** chief master sargent *** Robert Randolph Fisher *** Airman First Class SCOTT M. SCHROEDER *** 1ST SARGENT SCOTT ALLEN JOHNS0N *** PVT1 Sam Williams Huff *** Major Sean Cedric Douglas *** ~: CORPORAL Timothy Patrick Parker *** SPC TRENTON ALAN DOVE *** MP THOMAS BECKETT HENSLEY III *** corp William "Bubba" Taylor *** SSG Zachary A. Darras ***


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

Freedom isn't free. ~ Author Unknown

MEMBER QUOTE:

"Our lives go on but the spark is gone. Hard to relight that spark, just coping is what I can do." ~ Karen Lyn Jenkins

MEMORIAL QUOTE:


IN MEMORY OF: Jason "Beau" Morgan
AGE: 23
DATES: July 31, 1979 - Ocotber 10, 2002
CAUSE: Brain Aneurysm
SUBMITTED BY: Diane Morgan, Beau's Mom

"Peace" ~ Beau Morgan


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Clinton Terry Milam
AGE: 10 yrs 4 mos
DATES: 04/07/93-08/05/03
CAUSE: Traumatic Brain Injury
WRITTEN BY: Susan

I wrote you a letter last night,
telling you how much I love you,
and lots of other things.

I also told you from my heart,
the sorrow your leaving means.

I told you that I'm sorry you had
to leave that way,
and how very, very sorry I am
I wasn't with you that day.
I found a stone this morning,
lying in my path, it gave me
quite a start.

It's smooth and black with a touch
of gray, like an arrow through
the heart.

It's naturally shaped, but if you
look, it's very easy to see...
It looks like a heart that clearly
says...."with love, from Clint
to me."
Mom


LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Denise Rosaleen Vaughan
AGE: 6
DATES: July 14, 1978--December 28, 1984
CAUSE: Brain tumor, cancer.
WRITTEN BY: Rosaleen (Vaughan) Bellamy

: Well my little sweetheart....July 14th. is on it's way and with it...many of Mommy's tears fall. This was and still is one of the happiest days of my life; when you were born. Your Dad and your brother Keith sat and waited for hours in the hospital until you finally decided it was time to make your appearance. And we fell head over heals in love with you. Dark hair and beautiful dark brown eye's just like Mommy's. I wanted a little girl so badly. You had to be kept in a little bed with lights over top of you because you were slightly yellow. Your two brothers went through the same thing. You and I spent 10 days in the hospital together getting to know one another and I loved every second of our time together. You and I only had 6 years together but in that 6 years we gave you so much love and you filled my heart with love and hugs every day and now I live off those moments. We sang songs together that I taught you and you sure caught on fast to them. One of our favorite's was..."You Are My Sunshine". My sunshine left me the day you crossed over. Remember you couldn't say Gray and it always came out cray when we sang our special song. How I love that memory honey. And the books we used to read....I still have them after all these years. Mommy misses you every day but I hold onto all these beautiful memories you gave me and I know in my heart of hearts that you watch over me and that one day we will be together again and very happy. I love you my little Angel. God Bless You honey. Remember how much I love you and I send you love every day. All my love to you and Happy Birthday in Heaven.

Mommy. xxoo


POETRY:


IN MEMORY OF: Jason Christopher Dunn
AGE: 22
DATES: 6/5/74 --3/13/1997
CAUSE: accidental gunshot
WRITTEN BY: Susie-Jason's Mom

Shhhh Listen

Shhhh listen! Can you hear it?
It's your heart beating.
Sit very still and you can feel it.
How dare this heart betray you like that?
Beating in your chest. Like nothing has happened,
like everything is still the same, like your Child isn't dead.
If it would only stop.I could be dead too.
But it doesn't stop..and the agony goes on.
Listen deeper. Is that my soul singing?
How could my Soul sing when I am so devastated
Listen...it IS singing.
Could it know that the pain that I am feeling
is only temporary?
Could it know that our souls
are intertwined forever?
Could it know that my child's soul
is with me always?
Does it know The glory of Heaven
and the joy my child felt upon entering there?
If it's singing it must know something
that this human mother forgot.
Close you eyes and listen with
all your heart and soul.
Can you feel the joy that God has sent us.
The joy of having A beautiful child.
Though in time on earth, it was very short.
But I would not trade this pain I am feeling.
I may have lost my Child to soon,
but I would not trade one moment.
That precious life brought joy
and love to a dreary world.
He was God's gift to me.
And I thank HIM.
HE sent HIS son, so that I may live an eternal life.
And HE sent my son,
so I could live a joyous life on earth.
Memory's still bring me joy.
Can you feel it?
Can you see the Light?
Let it wrap around you. Feel the wonderful glow.
Embrace it.
What glorious light,
feel the warmth and love.
From deep within the Light
I can hear a voice that seems to be saying
" Give me your pain and sorrow, I will heal you"
Can you feel the healing?
Ever so slowly.... by the time it is our turn
to leave this old world, we will be completely healed.
We will once again hold our child and rejoice.
For we will dance and sing and
only then will we Understand
why we were given such a heavy burden....

Written by Me.....Susan Dunn
In Loving Memory Of
Jason Christopher Dunn


SIGNS:

IN MEMORY OF: Jerry Max Lain Jr.
AGE: 33
DATES: 4/17/72-5/26/05
CAUSE: cancer, over dose of pain meds.
WRITTEN BY: Shirl

: My son Jerry was such a wonderful joy to my life we had a wonderful relationsip he was a very thoughtful careing person, had a great passion for animals expecially dogs. Had a great since of humor love for his family its hard to believe he's gone I miss him so much. Right after my son passed I was sitting by the river next to our house and there was this goreous rose bush all white it went up the tree and wrapped around the branches in three spots, it was so awesome it has never apeared since, I feel it was a sign from my son telling me it's ok mom. I also get a ton of butterflies around me it seems when I 'm sitting thinking of him is when they appear or a sad moment then I smile and think of him.


SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene Gundersen ~ Danny's Mom

JULY - FIREWORKS

When my kids were little, we would always go to the annual fireworks display in our town. One year I was working as a nurses aide at a Nursing Home in the county. They were going to have a July 4th Festival for the residents and workers were invited with their families. They were having a talent show. SO - because school was out and the kids had time on their hands, I decided to have them participate in the talent show. Tammy was around 9 and Danny was about 7. I taught them the songs "Mammy" and "God Bless America". I taught them how to sing with emotion. Ex. Down on one knee with arms outstretched singing "Mammy", (Danny even started crying which added more Drama) LOL. Well, they did a great performance, hands over their hearts singing God Bless America. The residents loved them and they won the talent show....two tickets to a broadway play, which their Dad & I enjoyed...lol.

Just one of my many July 4th memories.


DREAMS:



IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
WRITTEN BY: Monika Hedglin

The Land of Dreams

I long to stay in the Land of dreams ,
it is here that I find peace and solace,
from the world outside my dreams.
In the Land of dreams ,
the sun shines bright all the time,
there are no dark days.
there is no river of tears.
and no mountians of pain to climb.
In the Land of dreams
Is where I long to be.
My son and my husband and I
In the land of dreams
we are a happy family,
walking along the beaches
Gazing at the ocean so wide and blue,
In the land of dreams
we can walk the valleys of green
and smell the fragrance of wild flowers
as the soft warm breezes tickle our skin.
In the land of dreams
Your alive, healthy and strong.
Your bright blue eyes out shine the skies
Your brillant smile competes with the sun
the three of us together again the way it is meant to be.
I long to stay in the land of dreams.
but I must say good bye for now
Daily life calls and I must go.
but I will return to the land of dreams
For this is where my heart long's to be......
so for now my sweet sonshine,
I bide you farewell
But when the night skies return
I too will return
back to the land of dreams
and you.

written in memory of Josh


MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO, BUMPER STICKER, WINDOW STICKER, CAKE, CELEBRATION, SERVICE, OR ANYWAY THAT YOU HONOR YOUR CHILD.....


IN MEMORY OF: Jason "Beau" Morgan
AGE: 23
DATES: July 31, 1979 - Ocotber 10, 2002
CAUSE: Brain Aneurysm
WRITTEN BY: Diane Morgan, Beau's Mom

BIRTHDAYS PAST

Birthdays Gone * Birthdays past
So many memories
The 23rd was your last

Memories remembered * Memories past
So much joy and laughter
Time flew too fast.

Joy gone * Laughter no more
Now only pain and sorrow
Why were you not here at 24?

Pain resides * Sorrow in me stays alive
I long for you to be here
For your Birthday at 25*

Life continues * Pain and sorrow, too
Your Birthdays I'll always honor
And memories I will keep, too
Always, always will my heart be with you.

Longing ends * not here anymore
Where will I be?
I will be joining you at's Door.

Until then * Day by day -
I will live my life
You would still be here * if I had my way!

I love you, my sweet Beau, Mom

© 2004 - Diane Morgan


QUESTION: If you could relive a day that you spent with your child (without changing anything, what one day (although there may be many) would you choose to relive and why?

(see the news section for a new question)

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted GSWH
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Adam's mom

Yesterday, (June 10th) I did a phone interview with a reporter from Arizona. He is writing a story about the military, and the fact that soldiers who hurt themselves are not weak.

I started at the beginning of Adam's life. By the end I was crying. He asked if I was ok.

I guess why I smile and cry at the same time is because I do not have the chance to go out to eat, see a move, etc. with Adam anymore. I miss him.

I have a bear made out of one of his dress shirts. It has a little bit of a tummy. I see the picture of him in a shirt with a navy blue overalls. I can still remember how it felt to hold him in that outfit with a little bit of a tummy on him (aprroximately 6 months out. I think I also cry, because I have so many regrets.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter




Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

CLOSER TO HEAVEN

The mountains, the lakes, the trees, and the wildlife have always made me feel a little closer to Heaven. Luke absolutely loved the outdoors from when he was just a little fellow until the day he died alone in his room of our Arizona home. He was our nature boy. Although I still love the outdoors, and that is where I feel closest to Luke and to Heaven, nature will never feel the same in his absence. I will forever be grateful to God that he allowed Luke to pass my way during his 21 year journey on earth.

When Luke was about 5 years old and Emily (Luke's sister) was about 7 years old we took a vacation to the part of the country that my husband, Robin and I loved so much.... the American West. We were living in Louisiana at that time and drove all the way to Yellowstone National Park in our motor home. As we entered the park, we saw many signs warning about bears coming in the campgrounds. Emily and Luke were so intrigued by the signs that they asked many questions about the bears. I warned them that being careful was very important. We stopped at the ranger station to pick up some hiking maps and to look at the books. I noticed over in the corner that they had some free posters. I headed over to the corner, unseen, while the rest of my little family were looking at books. I began rummaging through all the posters and there in that pile was a poster of a big black bear face. I got this incredible idea of how to play a trick on Emily and Luke, so I took one of the posters.

That night we roasted marshmallows over the campfire and I played the guitar and we all sang a few campfire songs together. Then we told bear stories to the kids as they sat silently, wide-eyed, and listened. As the fire crackled and the smoke rose above our heads the kids were nodding off. Before we all went to bed I just sat there taking it all in. I thought of how beautiful the surrounding landscape was. I looked up through the tall trees that were reaching up into the clear cool night sky as I made a wish on one of the thousand stars overhead. I felt my husband's hand in mine, he looked over at me, and as our eyes met we knew this was a special moment that we would never forget. With the smell of the smoke, the crackle of the fire, the coolness of the mountain air, and our children sleeping safely in our arms, we knew we were as close to Heaven as we could get on this Earth.

We carried our two little sleepy-heads up the steps of the motor home to their bed just under the side window. We gently tucked them in, and slowly pulled down the window shades to the close of an absolutely wonderful day.

The next morning Robin and I woke up before the kids did. We quietly slipped out of bed and out the door as I grabbed the poster that I had gotten the day before. While Robin was building the campfire I tiptoed up to the outside of the window that was just above the bed where Emily and Luke were sleeping. I taped the bear poster to the window, facing inside, knowing that they would always peek out to see what 'Momma and Daddy" were doing before they got up.

Robin and I whispered to each other in that early morning light as we sat around the campfire planning our day in the wilderness. We waited, and waited, and waited for the kids to wake up. Finally we heard screams coming from the motor home. We knew then that they had raised the window shade to look outside and saw that big old bear face staring in at them. Soon they both realized what was going on and they came storming out the door announcing...."That's NOT funny!!!" Robin and I laughed and laughed until the kids joined in on the laughter too.

Oh what a wonderful trip we had that year. We hiked the mountains, took in the beauty of a clear blue mountain lake, watched the Eagles soar overhead, walked beneath the towering pines, wished upon the stars, inhaled the cool night air, heard the crackle of the campfire as we captured the smell of smoke as it drifted up to heaven. We also listened as the wind secretly whispered to us a message that we would not fully understand for another 16 years...... "Heaven is close"

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



THE WIND WHISPERED

I stood at the bank of a mountain lake.
It glistened in the morning sun.
An eagle flew above my head,
And the wind whispered "it's begun".

White clouds painted the azure sky
With swirls of faded memories.
The trees stood tall reaching high
And the wind whispered "he's with me".

The mountains towered above it all .
Grass danced in the afternoon breeze.
A duck slid past across the water,
And the wind whispered "pain will ease".

The sun began to slowly set.
The crickets echoed in my ears.
The evening sky was all ablaze,
And the wind whispered "I'll be here".

The moon and stars glowed in the heavens.
They lit the path to take me home.
Night had come again to my world,
And the wind whispered "Life goes on"

© 2010 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

NATURE BOY

Nature Boy" is a song by Eden Ahbez, published in 1947. The song tells a fantasy of a "strange enchanted boy... who wandered very far" only to learn that "the greatest thing... was just to love and be loved in return". Nat King Cole's 1948 recording of the song was a major hit and "Nature Boy" has since become a pop and jazz standard, with dozens of major artists interpreting the song including Frank Sinatra, Bobby Darin, Cher, and Celine Dion. It has also been used in many movies through the years.

source: Wikipedia



NATURE BOY

There was a boy...
A very strange enchanted boy.
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea,
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he.

And then one day,
One magic day, he passed my way.
And while we spoke of many things,
Fools and kings,
This he said to me,
The greatest thing youíll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return.

The greatest thing youíll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return.


~ Words & music by Eden Ahbez


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Dylan Ross
AGE: 36 years
DATES: 11/22/1973 - 8/27/2010
CAUSE: Pulmonary Embolism
WRITTEN BY: Mom (Rhonda Ross)

"I do not want this to be happening!" Those were the first words out of my mouth three years ago when we were told that you were gone. Although I didn't believe it possible I'm still here but the thought of spending the rest of my life without you remains unbearable. I still do not want this to be happening!!! I think of you every day. I miss you every day. I love you with all my heart Dylan.

IN MEMORY OF: TASIA MARIE QUACKENBUSH
AGE: 16 years
DATES: 8/8/92-11/28/08
CAUSE: killed by drunk driver
SUBMITTED BY: Lisa & Bill Miller

IN MEMORY OF: Michelle Marie Greever
AGE: 9 yrs 2 months, 12 days
DATES: 8/24/84 ~ 11/5/93
CAUSE: Accident
SUBMITTED BY: Cindy Jo, Michelle's Mom

In Loving Memory

Always Loved and Remembered
Until we are Together again for All Time...

John 10:28-29

Love, Mama and Family


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

"Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better." ~ Albert Einstein

MEMBER QUOTE:

"It's a bond that will always be in my heart!" ~ Dee Dorsam 2011

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Michelle Marie Greever
AGE: 9 yrs 2 months, 12 days
DATES: 8/24/84 ~ 11/5/93
CAUSE: Accident
SUBMITTED BY: Cindy Jo, Michelle's Mom

"LOVE IS NOT THE SUBJECT OF THE MIND BUT THE OBJECT OF THE HEART..."
Quote © CindyJo Greever 1994


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
WRITTEN BY: Monika Hedglin

To Joshua with Love

There is no special date today,
There is only this ache in my heart,
That never goes away.
I spent time this week,
Looking thru photo's of you,
From the time you were a tiny baby,
Till you were all grown,
Ready to face the world on your own.
As I looked through the photos,
I remembered so many special memoires,
Each one held so dear to my heart.
As silent tears slipped down my face,
I heard the song in my heart.
The song that I sang to you so long ago.
The Wind Beneath My Wings


LIFE STORIES:


IN MEMORY OF: Christina Rice
AGE: 27
DATES: 5/5/72 -- 3/15/00
CAUSE: Homicide
SUBMITTED BY: Linda Rice

My Precious Little Girl

I had a lovely little girl that God gave me
A child whom I love so very dearly
I was there whenever she cried for me
I was there when she skinned her little knee
I was there when she took her first walk
I was there when she needed to talk
I was there when she first went to school
I was there when she learned the golden rule
I was there to watch her get her diploma.

But then one day she grew up to be
I couldn't believe what my eyes did see
My little girl had become a woman like me
She got married and had a child, a son
Oh how he was like her morning sun
I was there to witness these special times.

My child is gone now, no where to be found
We've searched and searched the low and high grounds
We've searched the rivers and forests too
For 3 long years without a single clue
And so I asked the Lord what should I do?

I cried to God most everyday and this is what I had to say
Dear Lord, Please let me know what has happened to my child.
I can not bear these days knowing she is out in the wild.
My worst fear Lord, is that she will never be found
Oh please, dear Lord let me know, where is my child?

God answered my prayers as He always does.
The police came to tell us what they did believe
My child's remains have finally been found
Oh mercy me, is she truly gone now?

After 13 long weeks of waiting for results
The phone call came with the answers we loathe
DNA testing proved that this was my precious child
She was murdered and the killer has not yet been found.

So my prayers today continue, as I so patiently wait
Dear Lord, please help us find the person whom
Is responsible for taking my dear child away
So that we may have Justice once and for all.

As I continue living on this earth
With my life in Your hands
I know that my child waits
With wide open arms
. I thank you Lord for giving me
My precious little girl, Tina Marie.


Written by Linda Rice
July 2, 2004 ©


POETRY:



IN MEMORY OF: "Manny" Manuel Marcopulos Lopez III
AGE: 26
DATES: sunrise February 20, 1973 - murdered July 11, 1999
CAUSE: Murdered
SUBMITTED BY:Eleni, Manny III's Mom

Who is that you see?
Me...or is it grief?
Who is that you see?
Is it me?
Surrounded by fog
so close to myself
No longer does one see ME.
I enbrace the fog,
Fog is the deep pain
sorrow broken heart
My heart burst into
diamonds around my soul
The day you were brutally murdered,
my precious Manny.
Prisoms of beauty surround my soul
Memories of you, my beloved son.
Bittersweet life is now and forever.
Manny, my sweet sweet angel.

EleniSweetie
copywrite 1999-2012


SIGNS:

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted GSWH
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Adam's mom

The rabbit is back in the back yard.! Adam had three different rabbits growing up. It is so funny the way it will just sit and look at me.

Recently, I was watching a ex client's little boy at the library. I picked up a Dora the Explorer book because I thought he might like it. I didn't know that the monkey in the books is call "Boots". That is the last name of my daughter, Allison's finacee. Felt like a sign to me.

Christine, Adam's mom


IN THEIR OWN WORDS:

written or said by our children






IN MEMORY OF: Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE: 27
DATES: 3/13/1984 - 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY: his mother Mary Stenzel

Sean loved his dogs. One of his favorite pets was our house dog "Pepper" who was part poodle and part Shz Shu (spelling?). Sean loved playing with Pepper in the house. Then there was a partial black lab/greyhound mix which Sean named "Budsy". When he was a little older, we bought him a full black lab, which he named "Spaz". Spaz is the dog that died on the same day that Sean did, so he is with Sean in heaven. Everyone who knew Sean knows he would always pick some original names for his pets. Only Sean would come up with a name like "Sparkplug", his white boxer, who is now at our house. Sean said the first time he saw him, he reminded him of a "Sparkplug", so he chose that name.


SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Joey Whiteman
AGE: 21 years, 360 days
DATES: 9/8/80-9/3/02
CAUSE: auto accident
WRITTEN BY: Terrie, Joey's Mom

Everyone knows we have a black Lab, her name is Skylee. Skylee was Joey's dog, one day just walked up to a neighbor's driveway, saw puppies for sale. He didn't even hesitate he said I want the black one, there was a yellow one, brown one and another black one,jumping all over, he didn't want her, he wanted the one who was staring at him and almost begging him to take her home. He named her Skylee, we don't know why, he never said. The other day, where we live, a woman asked, what does Skylee mean? We all looked at each other and said, we don't know, it's been almost 11 years that Joey has been gone, and we still don't have an answer, Skylee was 7 months old when Joey died, his beloved girl, and he took that secret to heaven with him. Only Joey knows the answer.

I love you Joey and miss you with all my heart and soul. Mom 2013


DREAMS:



IN MEMORY OF: Robert Walton
AGE: 1 Day Old
DATES: 11.10.63 11.11.63
CAUSE: Premuture
WRITTEN BY: JOAN TAYLOR

My Dear Baby Brother,
I had a Dream of you the other night and it felt so real. I was on this bus with you and you was wrapped in a white blanket. You had such a beautiful little face, yet so pale Robert. There was lots of people on the bus who I've never seen before. I have no idea where the bus was taking us, but I was so happy holding you in my arms. But very sad to say Robert Dad was not in my Dream of you this time. Dad was in my very first Dream of which a had a few months back now. Which I've already told you that Dream when it happend my precious baby brother. Bye for now My Robert, GB you always. Sending lots of little kisses upto Heaven for you.

From your big sister Joan xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.


HUMOROUS MEMORIES:


IN MEMORY OF: Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE: 27
DATES: 3/13/1984 - 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY: his mother Mary Stenzel

As a youngster and teenager, "name brand" clothes and shoes were important to Sean. Shoes were almost like a "fetish" to him. As a young adult, he outgrew this and was buying his work jeans from the thrift store. My sister-in-law reminded me the other day about the story of Sean coming home from grade school with someone elses shoes. Sean went to school with a nice, newer pair of leather tennies which were probably Nike or Reebok but one of his school friends had a pair of shoes that were the brand and type he wanted...but this pair of shoes was worn out with holes and way too big for Sean. Sean only looked at it being this certain kind and didn't seem to see how worn out these shoes were..so he traded his good new shoes for these way too big, old worn out shoes because it was a certain brand or style. Needless to say his mom was not a happy camper! Even as a youngster in grade school, he was very independent and made his own choices good or bad!!


OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:

IN MEMORY OF: Joseph Luke Kretsch
AGE: 25
DATES: 2-22-81 to 9-16-06
CAUSE: accident as a pedestrian
WRITTEN BY: Jo Ann Luke Kretsch

Joey and his fiancť, Nikki Maria Gornick, were both killed by a motorcycle as they were crossing the street. We remember their love for family, life and for each other. They are soul mates and our most precious ANGELS.


MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO, BUMPER STICKER, WINDOW STICKER.....

IN MEMORY OF: Evelin Patricia Ray Meyer
AGE: 4 months
DATES: 1/22/2010-5/20/2010
CAUSE: SID
WRITTEN BY: Evelin's Grandma

: Evelin,
Another holiday you never got to see. I will be thinking of you when the pretty fireworks go off. You would of loved them, but would of been scared off the booms. Your brothers will have to light a sparkler for you. Miss you everyday!
Love, Grandma


QUESTION: How would you define the grief that is felt with the loss of a child?
(see the news section for a new question)

IN MEMORY OF: Christopher Ronald Faller
AGE: 7 yrs
DATES: May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
CAUSE: His new heart carried a virus that caused tumors to grow similar to a fast-growing cancer.
WRITTEN BY: Maria, Christopher's Mom

How would you define the grief that is felt with the loss of a child?

"Never ending."

love and hugs,

maria
Christopher's mommy forever




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter




Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

THE TREE HOUSE

When Luke was a little fellow he wanted a tree house. We were living in Louisiana and had a big Oak tree in the back yard. I insisted that Luke wasn't old enough for a tree house. A few years had passed and he was old enough for school and as he expressed, "old enough to have a tree house." So Robin (Luke's Dad) began constructing the tree house with the help of little Luke. Emily (Luke's sister) and I watched from the back porch swing as Luke handed boards to his dad who was up the tree with a hammer and nails. Finally the tree house was complete. Luke spent many happy hours in that tree house. He would invite his sister to join him, and they would read books, or bring teddy bears up, or just stare out into their new world in the sky. Sometimes I would pack a lunch in a box, attach it to the rope which hung from a branch, and watch as they pulled it up. Oh what a feast it was for them to share lunch in their tree house.

Several years ago when Robin and I traveled back to Louisiana for a visit we decided to go by our old house and see if anything had changed and how big the trees had grown. I had hoped to peek in the back yard and see that old Oak tree that had kept those memories of long ago within its leaves and branches, and maybe see some small remnant of that old tree house. But much to our disappointment that old oak tree that Emily and Luke played in for all those years was gone..... just as Luke was.

Although that old Oak tree was gone, in the corners of my mind I could still hear the rustle of the leaves, I could still feel the wind as it passed through the branches, I could still see the autumn leaves as they gently drifted to the ground. The sound of my children's laughter resonated in my ears. That old Oak tree wasn't gone after all!

The appearance of life is gone, but the memories of life..... will live on in my heart and mind forever.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



THE TREE OF LIFE

There is a tree that stands alone
With branches bending low,
Holding on to Autumn leaves.
Never wanting to let go.

The branches love the Autumn leaves
And embrace September's winds.
Laughing in the sunshine
Thinking this will never end.

Hold on you golden Autumn leaves
And orange and red and brown.
Please don't loose the branch's grip
And tumble to the ground.

But sometimes there's a sudden gust
And the branch is unaware
That the wind has blown so harsh
And sent their leaf into the air.

The branch thought it was holding tight
But the wind was much too strong
And took away the branch's grip
Making everything so wrong.

And sometimes it's a gentle breeze
That takes Autumn leaves away.
The branches watch them tumble down
And wonder why the leaves can't stay.

The barren tree stands all alone.
With a whisper of "goodbye",
As the wind lifts up the fallen leaves
And sends them floating through the sky.

The leaves gather above the clouds
Until their loving branch
Meets them at the "tree of life"
Where "forever" has a chance.

I listen when the wind blows,
As it howls through the trees.
And I can hear the lonesome sound
Of a branch that lost it's leaves.

© 2007 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

HONEY

"Honey," also known as "Honey (I Miss You)," is a song written by Bobby Russell. He first produced it with former Kingston Trio member Bob Shane. Then he gave it to American singer Bobby Goldsboro who recorded it for his tenth album, Honey. The song's narrator mourns his deceased lover, beginning with him looking at a tree in their garden, remembering how "it was just a twig" on the day she planted it (with his disapproval). It was released as a single in the U.S. in 1968 and spent five weeks at #1 the Billboard Hot 100 Singles Chart, from April 7 to May 11 (the 200th song to do so), and three weeks atop Billboard's Hot Country Singles chart. It was preceded on the Billboard Hot 100 by "(Sittin' on) the Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding and was followed by Archie Bell & the Drells' "Tighten Up." It was Goldsboro's only #1 hit on the Pop Singles and Country Singles charts and it was his first song to top the Adult Contemporary chart. "Honey" reached #2 on the UK Singles Chart and a re-release of the single in England in 1975 (see 1975 in music) reached #2 again. In Australia, it spent four weeks at #1 on the ARIA Charts, replacing The Beatles' "Lady Madonna", and was the #6 song of 1968.

One day in early 1968, Bobby Goldsboro was sitting at home in his apartment in Nashville, Tennessee, when Larry Henley (the falsetto singer from the group The Newbeats) walked in to talk to him. Larry Henley had said that he had just heard this nice new song that Bobby Russell had played for him. Bobby Russell's office at Acuff-Rose Music was right across the street from where Goldsboro lived. So they went over to Bobby Russell's office. Russell told them the song was called "Honey" and played it on a guitar for Henley and Goldsboro. At the end of the song, Henley said it was a great song. Goldsboro just thought that the song "didn't do anything for him," he later remembered. And Goldsboro walked back to his apartment.

A few weeks later, he was with his new producer, Bob Montgomery (his producer had been Jack Gold, who produced "Little Things," "See The Funny Little Clown," and most of his pre-'68 songs). Montgomery and Goldsboro were sitting around and thinking about new songs that he could sing. Then, in an ironic twist of fate, Montgomery took him over to Bobby Russell's office again, and the three were brainstorming until at last Goldsboro said "How about that ... song you played for me the other day?" Russell said, "You mean 'Honey'?" Goldsboro replied "Yes, I think so." So Russell played the song for Montgomery and Goldsboro, with another guitar, and it just "floored them both." Goldsboro was delighted. He asked Russell if he could try singing the song as a possibility of a new hit. However, Russell told him Bob Shane, from the group The Kingston Trio already had recorded the song. It was already getting a little bit of airplay on radio stations. Russell said to Bobby Goldsboro that it was in top 20 in the music charts down in Texas. Russell told Goldsboro that he could have a try at the song if Shane's record flopped. Nothing happened for Shane, so Bobby Goldsboro recorded "Honey," and it became a #1 hit in April 1968. (Summarized from liner notes by Steve Kolanjian from "The Best Of Bobby Goldsboro: Honey by Bobby Goldsboro," September 1991, issued by Capitol-EMI Records, available on CD).

source: Wikipedia



HONEY

See the tree, how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it,
was just a twig
Then the first snow came
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart
and I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve
two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin
' Over some sad and silly
late, late show

And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin' needlessly
In the middle of the day
And it was in the early Spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing She went away

And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of Honey
And I wake up nights and
call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
Where Honey lived and Honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead
And cries down on the flower bed
That Honey loved

And see the tree how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
And I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it,
was just a twig


~ Words & music by Bobby Russell
~ Performed by Bobby Goldsboro


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
SUBMITTED BY: Monika Hedglin

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 06-11-60 09-16-86
CAUSE: Medication
SUBMITTED BY: Mother

CHRIST of the ARCTIC

I believe in the Sun even when it is not shining
I believe in Love even when I am alone
I believe in God even when HE is silent.


"I feel that Dennis is with me in SPIRIT where the Sun shines, where Love is present and where God is surrounding me through my son Dennis Christopher eternally who is in Heaven. He has accidentally departed at the age of 26. He is an integral part of me and his brothers Dale, David, and myself will always feel the void of his loss until we meet again."

IN MEMORY OF: Joey Marshall Whiteman360
AGE: 21 years, 360 days
DATES: 09/08/80-09/03/02
CAUSE: auto accident
SUBMITTED BY: Terrie Whiteman

: For My Darling Joey,

First for your thirty-third Birthday, a very Happy Birthday to my Sweet Son, who I miss with all my heart and soul and wish I could say that in person to your beautiful face that I adore.

Soon it will be your eleventh anniversary away from us and in heaven with God and all the angels. I miss you so, I will never, ever understand why you left us, you had so much to live for.

Please know you will never be forgotten, I see your face, I hear your voice and I will love you forever.

Rest in Peace, My Angel

Love, Mom 2013 9-8-80-9-3-02

As you hold me close in memory,
even though we are apart,
my spirit will live on,
there within your heart....

I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS

When you lean on trusted friends
and their caring hugs enfold you,
within their loving arms,
I'll be there to hold you...

I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS

And beyond the far horizon
when we'll finally be together,
where love will be eternal
and life will last forever...

I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS

~ author unknown

IN MEMORY OF: Cara Lee Parks Buras
AGE: 30
DATES: 9/9/1976 - 10/30/2006
CAUSE: Accident
WRITTEN BY: Cara's Mom For Always


: I Am Cara's Mom For Always Morning sickness that lasted all day...

And then the phone call... I killed the rabbit.

My child is coming.
                I feel her move... A gentle flutter... Right under my heart...

You're imagining things. Its not her...
                  Its too soon... I know better.

I cherish the moment.. I know it is you.

I trace the line across the top of my stomach...
                  Where I first felt you...

Oh Cara I loved you then I love you now...
        I love you forever and always...

Blood of my blood... flesh of my flesh.
                  I laugh. I cry. Oh my beautiful daughter.

Through the years... the ups and downs
                  I love you so much.

My children were and are the best part of my life.

My reason for living....

We shared so much... at times you were angry with me...
    I can only say what I did was for you not to you...

I'll love you for always.
        In this and all lives you are my child.

I will mourn forever your earthly passing.

Fight to breathe. try not to cry. not to dwell.
                  Be grateful for all the days I had you a part of my life.

I search my memories and again.
                  I hear your voice. I feel your touch.. I see you.
                                    You are here. Oh how I love you.

I accept it will hurt forever. I will cry.

                  Oh my baby girl. I am so glad I had you.

For those who find my grief excessive.
                  Do not tell me to get over it...
                                    I can not hear you...

                  Written by Elissa Parks Smith
                                    Cara's Mom For Always

Cara's 36th birthday will be September 9th... I will fight to hold on to the fragile peace I have found. Most of all I will fight to remember how grateful I am and always will be for all that was and is. Cara is still my daughter and I am still her mom. I love you Cara. Happy Birthday baby.

IN MEMORY OF: Lisa Elaine Mewbourne
AGE: 25
DATES: 9/23/65 ~ 4/23/91
CAUSE: gunshot wound to head
SUBMITTED BY: Faye Mewbourne Martin


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

Climb a tree - it gets you closer to heaven. ~Author Unknown

MEMBER QUOTE:

"Robert sends all his baby kisses from Heaven." ~ Joan Taylor, 2011

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: TASIA MARIE QUACKENBUSH
AGE: 16 years
DATES: 8/8/92-11/28/08
CAUSE: killed by drunk driver
WRITTEN BY: Lisa & Bill Miller

: This is a quote we found on Tasia's computer and feel it was meant for all whom she left behind:

"Live every day like it's worth a million years. Find happiness in the smallest things, like the sunshine, the music, the love. Always keep your mind open to new ideas & your heart open to new friendships. Everyone's got it in them to be the best they can be, so throw up your peace signs, and thank God for life."


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:


IN MEMORY OF: Joey Whiteman
AGE: 21 yrs. 360 days
DATES: September 8, 1980 - September 3, 2002
CAUSE: Auto Accident
SUBMITTED BY: TERRIE WHITEMAN, JOEY'S MOM

WHEN DONíT I THINK OF YOU

WHEN RAINDROPS FALL I FEEL YOU
WHEN MORNING COMES I SEE YOU
WHEN EVENING COMES I MISS YOU
WHEN SNOWFLAKES COME, I WAIT FOR YOU

WHEN WINTER COMES IíM LONELY
WHEN SUMMER COMES, I NEED YOU
WHEN SPRING IS HERE AND ALL SEEMS RIGHT
REBIRTH OF ALL THATíS YOU!!!!

I LOVE YOU JOEY,

MOM Terrie Whiteman Copywrite/6/16/03


LIFE STORIES:


IN MEMORY OF:Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE:27
DATES: 3/13/1984 - 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY: his mother Mary Stenzel

I am sure all my former co-workers will remember the day I got the call at work from Catholic Charities that we were to become the parents of a beautiful baby born on March 13, 1984. I got the call just a day before we were to meet and pick up our son at the Catholic Charities office in Mankato which was on April 12, 1984 so Sean was just 1 day less than a month old. I scrambled to get clothes that evening after work, as we didn't want to have things on hand in case we would never become parents. JC Penney was still open in Albert Lea and I frantically made a trip to Albert Lea to buy baby items. I was one excited woman that I was becoming a mother at last and when I explained it the clerk she was so excited for Rick and I and helped so much in selecting items for our baby boy. Of course, his grandma Johnson was just as excited as we were. She was baby-sitting my niece Nancy and both she and Nancy road with us to Mankato the day we picked up our son. Mom and Nancy waited in the car while we went to meet and get our new baby boy. We had to dress him right in their office with his new clothes, and we left the Catholic Charities office as a family. Grandma Johnson fell madly in love with her new grandson immediately. The evening he came home, he was welcomed by his grandpa and grandma Stenzel, Aunts, Uncles and cousins. It was a bit overwhelming for our baby boy, as he was a little fussy then. Sean was the first of the Stenzel "five" cousins who were born that spring. Our lives changed in the instant we became a family and from that day forward our lives centered around our beautiful son. Sean always came first in our lives and was and will always be our pride and joy. We chose the name Sean Ernest. Sean is Irish for John. There are many John Stenzels, and we wanted something to honor our late priest, Father John M. Tighe, who helped us so much with the adoption process. His middle name, Ernest, was after my dad who died the year before Sean became our son. From the very first day Sean joined our family and continuing now, I have been so thankful for the greatest gift I ever received---our beautiful son.

Even though Sean won't physically be present, he will always be with us in our hearts and spirit. Becoming a mother is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced. To love a child and for a child to return that love, you can't imagine it unless you are a parent. A parent would give their life for a child and so often I wondered why God took our Sean and not myself since I go on that road to and from work and drive by the accident site twice day. Then I realize that Sean was just more ready than I with his strong belief in Jesus and will help me to become more like he in truly accepting Jesus as my Savior, so one day I can be reunited with Sean in heaven along with our Heavenly Father and other loved ones.


POETRY:


IN MEMORY OF: Robert Walton
AGE: 1 day old
DATES: 10/11/63 ~ 11/11/63
CAUSE: Premature
WRITTEN BY: JOAN TAYLOR

: {{MY ~ ROBERT}}

Robert on the Day God Took you.
I thought that I would die.
I wonder where the time and Days went.
I asked myself Why.

With Mum and Dad around me.
I felt so alone inside.
So please don't forget me Robert.
Always be by my side Day & Night.

{{Your ever loving sister Joan}}.


SIGNS:

IN MEMORY OF: Jason Christopher Dunn
AGE: 22
DATES: June 5, 1974-March 13, 1997
CAUSE: Accidental Gun
WRITTEN BY: Susie Dunn

: Jason was very good at coming around and talking to me. I could hear him just like hearing yourself talking to you. In fact I used to say to myself.. you are way crazy..and I'd hear Jason laughing.no your not.. I would ask him what he did and he told me (and Numerous mediums told me the very same thing) that "he volunteered for taking people home" He said he liked to Go out on "quick deaths" like his was.. I asked him why..he said "You should see Their faces" I started to think about that.. and at first I thought it was morbid. but Then you think about it from the person's point of view.and you have to say.COOL!


IN THEIR OWN WORDS:

written or said by our children





IN MEMORY OF: Lisa Elaine Mewbourne
AGE: 25
DATES: 9/23/65 ~ 4/23/91
CAUSE: gunshot wound to head
SUBMITTED BY: Faye Mewbourne Martin

: This was not something written by my daughter, Lisa, but words she spoke to me the evening before her death.

She was going through a rough time in her life as it looked like she and her husband of three years were splitting up. She cried most of the last day I got to spend with her. She and I talked long into the night. I did not know that she was thinking of ending her life.

One thing she said was, "Mom, I know you have always loved me." These words would later be immortalized in my memory. It became of the utmost importance to me to know that she knew I loved her. When I felt the guilt over what I must have said or not said, done or not done, her words would come back to me. She knew I loved her!

The other thing she said was, "Mom, I want you to know that I still love Jesus and still have a relationship with Him." Later, as I questioned where my child's soul was, these words gave me enormous comfort. She still loved Jesus! The Lord would not turn His back on one of His children who professed her love for Him. She was with Him! I later had a dream that confirmed that she was in Paradise with the Lord she loved.

There was an endless amount of pain and suffering I still had to endure. But the gift of her last words to me was the thing that comforted me the most. How would I have gone on without them? Something inside her must have known that her grieving mother would later need the comfort of her precious words.


SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene (Dan's Mom)

: September brings back so many memories of the kids going back to school. Danny LOVED getting ready for the 1st day of school. He always wanted to start early....going shopping and picking out his back-pack and all the things he needed. He took pride in his "wardrobe" at an early age, wanting to be "cool". Because we had 5 kids....we needed to strictly budget....and went shopping at "thrifty" stores, flea markets, etc. Well, Danny frowned at that BUT when we found some great "treasures" at great prices, he eagerly shopped for the "deal of the day". LOL. Well, now he smiles down at us from heaven, as we do the same thing with the grandkids. In fact, I sometimes think he "leads" us to those "Bargains of the day". SEPTEMBER MEMORIES


DREAMS:



IN MEMORY OF: Denise Rosaleen Vaughan
AGE: 6
DATES: July 14, 1978--December 28, 1984
CAUSE: Brain tumor, cancer.
WRITTEN BY: Rosaleen (Vaughan) Bellamy

: When I have had dreams of my ^Angel^ Denise.....she is dancing around in a long dress, usually white. She flares it out and is smiling and looks so very happy. Her long hair is up and in ringlets, hanging down and at the side of her face....little ringlets. She is so beautiful like she was when she was home with us. When she was at home, before we found out about the tumor....I always helped her pick out a long skirt and blouse to match. She loved to dress up and then would dance around the kitchen table swirling her skirt this way and that. Such a lovely memory of my only precious daughter. I believe that is why I have the dreams because she was so happy then. At her best. I can still picture Denise after all these years.....dancing and happy. I believe also it is Denise's way of saying....Mommy I am happy and healthy now. She lives in my heart now until we are together again. I Love you and miss you so much my little ^Angel^.


OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
WRITTEN BY: Monika Hedglin

I am your Son

I am your son,
The one you loved.
I am the son you dreamed of
I am the son that grew in your heart
I never grew under your heart
But in your heart right from the start.
You held my hand to help me walk
You taught me how to talk,
You wanted to hear mama
When I all would say was dada.
You showed me how to love
Because you loved me
You taught me to be compassionate
Because you always cared about me.
To many times you told me NO
It made me mad for a while
Then I would smile
Because I knew you loved me.
You taught me right from wrong,
Because of you I grew up strong,
You never knew I couldn't stay
I loved you then, I love you now.
Hey Mom. I'll always love you

Written By Monika
In Memory of Josh~ 3/17/2001


MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO, BUMPER STICKER, WINDOW STICKER.....


IN MEMORY OF:Christopher Ronald Faller
AGE: 7-1/2 years
DATES: 5/7/90 - 3/24/98
CAUSE: viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
SUBMITTED BY: Maria Faller (mom)

MEMORIAL POEM FOR CHRISTOPHER written by Tina Chlibun, my cousin

Angel Christopher

The life of one person cannot be measured in time
The impact of a life cut so short should be shared with all
So we can help those left behind heal their broken hearts
Time will be what is needed now -- to remember Christopher --
As a son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, student, friend
Christopher was a special someone to each and every one of us
His memory will be with us for always
Each one of us has been touched in someway by Christopher
His rosy cheeks that held the laughter of a happy child
His courage as a fighter
Or his hidden strength for someone so young
A life taken from us much too soon
When we remember Christopher these thoughts come to mind
We should be thankful for the time that
Christopher blessed our lives
And know he is at peace now....
And forever in our thoughts and in our hearts

Written by Tina Chlibun, my cousin


QUESTION: How long has it been since your child died and how has your life changed between then and now?

IN MEMORY OF: Trenton Alan Dove
AGE: 31
DATES: 7/16/1977-12/23/2008
CAUSE: snowmobile accident
WRITTEN BY: Susie Fox

: After the shock and disbelief wore off after the death of my son, Trent, the grief set in.

It will be 5 years this December since Trent died, and I have worn my grief every single day, and it's different every single day.

A friend gave me this saying by Wendy Feireisen, and it fits so perfectly.

"You don't get over it, you just get through it. You don't get by it, because you can't get around it. It doesn't 'get better'; it just gets different. Everyday... Grief puts on a new face...."

That is exactly the way it is. I have learned different coping methods through trial & error over the years. When Trent's death anniversary and his birthday come around, that's the hardest for me. That's when I go into myself until I can feel half way 'normal' again.

Losing a child, no matter what age they are, has to be the hardest thing I have had to face in my entire life. It's nothing I would wish on my worst enemy. It's something no one can begin to understand unless they have felt the same loss. It's a club no one wants to be a member of.

My son was never one to let the grass grow under his feet..and he packed a lot of living into his 31 years, and for that I am grateful. There is a poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay that I always thought described my Trent perfectly..and I'll close with that.

"My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends-
It gives a lovely light."

Good night sweet boy...I love you.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter




Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

TRICK OR TREAT?

It was in the fall of 2000, and very close to Luke's 21st Halloween birthday. Luke was living at home with us for the very last time. He would soon be making his final journey in the Spring of 2001. It was such a pleasure to have him back home, if only for a little while. I had gone to the grocery store one October morning and saw in the ice cream section ice cream for dogs called Frosty Paws. So I just had to get some for our sweet little Basset Hound Blue. When I got home I unloaded the groceries. Luke and I and Blue Dog were the only ones home. I opened the box and gave one of the little vanilla cups of Frosty Paws to Blue. She absolutely loved it! I said...."Wow, that must really taste good." Luke said..."I wonder what it tastes like?" I said .... "I don't know, let's try it!" So Luke and I each got a spoon, scooped a little from one of the cups, and on the count of three we barely touched our tongues to it and it was absolutely HORRIBLE. But ol' Blue Dog sure did like it!

My husband Robin always liked to have a cup of vanilla ice cream after his dinner. It was almost time for Robin to get home from work so I said..."Hey Luke, lets tell dad we got him some ice cream and play a trick on him." (The only identification on the little cardboard cups was on the lids.) Luke said... "Okay, but you do it!" So I said..."Luke, now you just lay on the sofa like you are watching TV and don't give it away. Luke said... "Okay, no problem." It all seemed so appropriate since it was so close to Halloween.

Robin got home from work and we all had a nice dinner together. But during the dinner Luke and I were thinking of our plan to play a trick on Dad. I would look at Luke and he would get this silly grin on his face and I would just stretch my eyes wide in an attempt to silently tell him to not give away our secret!

After dinner we all went into the family room to watch some TV. After sitting there for a few minutes I said... "Hey Robin, would you like some desert?" Robin said..."Yes, what do you have?" I said..."Oh, I bought some little vanilla ice cream cups today." Robin said..."Yes, that sounds good!" So I went into the kitchen, got the little cup out of the freezer and removed the lid. By this time Luke was squirming on the couch, trying to hold in his laughter, so I gave Luke another "don't you laugh" look. Then I handed the cup of Frosty Paws to Luke's unsuspecting Dad. By this time, Luke was squirming even more, and his face was getting red, as he was trying so hard to conceal our secret. I glanced over at Luke with another one of my discerning looks. By then all Luke could do was to bury his head in the pillow, and then cover himself entirely up with the blanket. Next Robin stuck his spoon in the cup and scooped out a big ol' spoonful of what he thought was delicious vanilla ice cream and popped it into his mouth. He immediately got up and ran to the kitchen sink spitting it out of his mouth while saying... "What the Hell is this stuff?" Well by that time Luke and I were laughing uncontrollably. Luke was laughing so hard that he fell off of the sofa, but continued to laugh while rolling on the floor. He gave true meaning to ROFLMAO! His laughter from that day still echos through my heart and my soul and my mind.

That was so long ago, but to this day every time I see Frosty Paws in the freezer section of the grocery store I smile and sometimes I even laugh out loud. I can always feel Luke laughing with me from his new home that is in the 'place that's the best'. This little event in our live's is the tale of an October 'TRICK', and it will forever be there in the corners of my mind delivering a wonderful memory that arrives at unexpected times, warming my heart with a very special .....'TREAT'.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



TWAS HALLOWEEN NIGHT

'Twas Halloween night and all near the house,
Lots of creatures were stirring, the ghosts were aroused.
The pumpkins were carved and lit up with care.
Trick-or-treaters were roaming..... but he wasn't there.

Children were gathered at my door and said...
"Trick-or-Treat, Halloween, we want to be fed".
Decked out in their costumes from shoes to their caps.
I gave them some candy, went back in to relax.

Then out on the porch arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the front door I flew like a flash.
The noise made me shutter, then I heard a crash.

The moon on the crest of the pumpkin's bright glow
Gave the luster of midnight to creatures below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a cute little ghost.... I had nothing to fear.

He seemed so happy, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he was no longer sick.
More rapid than bats his ghost friends they came,
And they all carried pumpkins with beautiful flames.

"Now mothers, now fathers, now sisters, and brothers
And family, and friends, and all of the others....
In the heavens we live, and we'll come when you call.
Just call us, just call us, just call us all."

As October witches on Halloween fly,
When they sail on their brooms up to the sky.
So up to the heavens his ghost friends they flew,
Then back down to earth to see me and you.

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof.
The whispers and giggles of each little ghost.
Then one little ghost appeared on the ground.
He came from the roof without making a sound.

He was dressed all in white from his head to his foot,
His clothes were like silk and he carried a book.
A cute little pumpkin he had in his clasp.
As he opened the book I sighed and I gasped.

His eyes how they twinkled, his smile was so merry.
His hands were so gentle, but I was so weary.
His touch was the softest that I'd ever know.
And the pumpkin he held had a beautiful glow.

As I stood there and watched him I felt a great peace.
And a bright light encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a sweet face and a wonderful grin
That beamed when he laughed from his ears to his chin.

He nodded and knew that I needed some help.
I cried when I saw him in spite of myself.
The spark in his eyes and the glow 'round his head,
Soon gave me to know that he wasn't so dead.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
As he checked off my name in his book, under hurt.
He looked at me gently and wrinkled his nose,
He gave me a hug, to the clouds he arose.

He joined all his ghost friends and blew me a kiss
And away they all flew even though they'll be missed.
I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight.....
"Mom, we'll be back again next HALLOWEEN night."


© 2006 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

SPIRIT IN THE SKY

"Spirit in the Sky" is a song written and originally recorded by Norman Greenbaum and released in late 1969. The single sold two million copies in 1969-1970 and reached number three in the U.S. Billboard chart (April 18, 1970) where it listed for 15 weeks in the Top 100.

He was inspired to write the song after watching Porter Wagoner on TV singing a gospel song. Greenbaum later said : "I thought, 'Yeah, I could do that,' knowing nothing about gospel music, so I sat down and wrote my own gospel song. It came easy. I wrote the words in 15 minutes."

"Spirit in the Sky" contains lyrics about the afterlife, making several references to Jesus, although Greenbaum himself is Jewish. "Spirit in the Sky" became a worldwide hit.

Of the song, Greenbaum observed: "It sounds as fresh today as when it was recorded. Iíve gotten letters from funeral directors telling me that itís their second-most-requested song to play at memorial services, next to 'Danny Boy'.

"Spirit in the Sky" was ranked #85 in VH1's 100 Greatest One-hit Wonders.

source: Wikipedia



SPIRIT IN THE SKY

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky

Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best

Prepare yourself, you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you to the spirit in the sky

Gonna recommend you to the spirit in the sky
That's where you're gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You're gonna go to the place that's the best

Never been a sinner, I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He's gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky

Oh, set me up with the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best

Go to the place that's the best


~ Words & music by Norman Greenbaum


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS


IN MEMORY OF: "Luke" Lucas Christopher Ross
AGE: 21 years
DATES: October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
CAUSE: Acute Bronchopneumonia
SUBMITTED BY: Robin, Luke's Dad

LUKE,

I miss you. I remember the day you were born, like it was yesterday. I remember the first time I saw you. I was so happy to meet you, to call you my son, to call you LUKE. We made so many wonderful memories.

I remember the day you died, like it was today. I remember the last time I saw you. My heart, soul and mind were broken, and still are. I miss you LUKE, but I know that I will see you again, and we will make more wonderful memories.

Until we meet again.

Love Dad

IN MEMORY OF: Jason "Beau" Morgan
AGE: 23 years
DATES: July 31, 1979 - October 10, 2002
CAUSE: Brain Aneurysm
SUBMITTED BY: Diane Morgan, Beau's Mom

To my BEAUtiful son,

Beau, It is so hard to believe that it has been so so long since you left this world ; it will be 11 years and I sill cannot believe it. I miss you so much! I wish that I could touch your face and see your BEAUtiful smile and hear your laughter. I wish I could give you a Big hug and hear you say "Mommy." You were so special to everyone and you attracted so many people and friends who always came around because you always made everyone feel good when they were around you and made them laugh. Since this cannot be please stay with me in spirit and send a very special sign on your Anniversary Date! I am counting on it! I love you always my sweet Beau!

Always, Your Mommy

IN MEMORY OF: Jennifer DeGeneres
AGE: 42
DATES: October 16, 1969 - June 22, 2012
CAUSE: Complications of Lupus

Jennifer was an angel on earth and now an angel in Heaven.

IN MEMORY OF: barry aitken
AGE: 20 years
DATES: 10/10/84 - 3/12/2004
CAUSE: suicide
SUBMITTED BY: mum aitken

IN MEMORY OF: Christopher Ronald Faller
AGE: 7-1/2 yrs
DATES: 5/7/90 - 3/24/98
Christopher received his new heart on October 7-8, 1997
CAUSE: viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
WRITTEN BY: Maria (Christopher's mommy forever)

Sweet Little Christopher

Sweet little Christopher, Sixteen long years ago
You received your new heart.
But how could we have ever known
That it carried a deadly virus?
One so different from what had affected your own.
Back in the hospital then,
Yet another battle for you to fight.
So many things went wrong,
Not much was going right.
But all the doctors said they would cure you.
They said you would eventually come home.
Either Daddy or I was with you at all times,
We made sure you were never alone,
You were so courageous, right until the end.
You know we will always love you
And never ever forget you.
I miss you terribly, sweet little Christopher,
My son, my best friend
My love is with you forever
Your Mommy

Christopher received his new heart on October 7-8, 1997. His grandmother's birthday happens to be October 8. At the time, we thought it was a good omen. sigh.

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-07
CAUSE: Self inflicted GSWH
WRITTEN BY: Christine, Proud mom of a soldier, Adam

Dearest Son,
Next month will be 6 years of your angelversary. I used to love autumn along with you. Allison will be getting married the 13th of October, one week after your angelversary date of the 6th. I know you and Grandpa will be there. I don't know what it going to happen, but I will try for her sake.

I love all the signs, please keep them coming along with the dreams. Now, I hate this time of year, beacause I know it is a start of pain:angelversary, Halloween, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, etc.

I miss you so so much. I know we would both sacrifice you again for our country. I am proud of you, and I am glad I had a chance to know you.

Love always and forever, Your M<3M

IN MEMORY OF: Cara Lee Parks Buras
AGE: 30
DATES: 9/9/76 - 10/30/2006
CAUSE: Accident
WRITTEN BY: Elissa Smith Cara's Mom For Always

I am looking forward when it is time to a joyful reunion. October 30th will be Cara's 7th angel day.

IN MEMORY OF: Leon Jr and Wayne Jonas
AGE: 29 & 28
DATES: Feb.17 and Aug 19 10-26-90
CAUSE: car crash
SUBMITTED BY: jerry Jonas Mudge

I know I can trust my Heavenly Father to take care of my sons until I see them again with Him.


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween." - Erma Bombeck .

MEMBER QUOTE:

"My heart breaks for everyone that has lost their child/children and I cry reading their stories but please know that every night my prayers have all of you in them." ~ Rosaleen Vaughan-Bellamy 2012

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
WRITTEN BY: Arlene (Dan's Mom)

AUSTRALIAN QUOTE:

We are all visitors to this time....this place.
We are just passing through.
Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to LOVE ~
And then ~ we return home.


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:


IN MEMORY OF: Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE: 27
DATES: DOB 3/13/1984 - DOD 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY:his mother Mary Stenzel

RIP my dear son, Sean Ernest Stenzel. You are gone but never forgotten. I will feel your presence every day and will always see you in your beautiful daughter, Lili.

Love and miss you always, "Seane boy".

Love, Mommy


LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Clinton Terry Milam
AGE: 10 yrs
DATES: 04/07/93-08/05/03
CAUSE: Traumatic Brain Injury
WRITTEN BY: Susan Milam

Clinton Terry Milam 04/07/93-08/05/03

Clint was a surprise present. Our family, or so we thought, was complete. We had two teenage daughters. We were already thinking ahead to the time they would be ready to spread their wings and take flight on their own.

In about September, 2002 I just did not feel good at all. Symptoms I was certain had to be "the change", I was 41 yrs. old. I made an appointment with my doctor to find out what was going on. I gave him my symptoms, we chatted a bit, and then he said WE NEED TO DO A PREGNANCY TEST. What?!! Needless to say the results were positive, I made an appointment with an OB and we were off and running. This new life was due to make his appearance the first of May, 2003.

The day we had the ultra-sound to make sure everything was developing as they should, we also were able to find out the gender of this little surprise package. My husband and daughters came in with us for the big reveal. We were having a boy! Saying we were over the moon is putting it lightly!

Clint decided to make his appearance early, he was ready to get going! On April 7, 2003 he made arrived! From that point our lives were forever changed. He was the light of our life. All things seemed to revolve around him. Delightfully so I might add.

I recorded on our camcorder the first two years of his life, just as often as I could. His first word was spoken when he was 4 mos. old! His big sister, Melinda, knelt down in front of Clint sitting on my lap. She said "Hi" and he clearly responded with "Hi"! He was amazing, a happy, joyful, adventurous, delightful baby, toddler, and little boy.

As things would have it, his sisters did grow up and move on with their lives. They were nearby, and still very much a part of our life. Clint's dad had begun to an awful lot of work out of town, and out of state. That left Clint and I alone quite a bit of the time. Our bond was amazing, I was always over the moon with happiness for having him.

He was a precocious little guy. At his pre-school's Thanksgiving program at 2 years of age he was the only member of the class to sing and recite his lines. The others froze under the spotlight I suppose! Clint loved it!

At about 4 years of age he announced to me that he was getting married. Really? Yes, he and his little girlfriend, Sarah, were going to be married one day. They even had the wedding planning well under way.

A couple of years later Sarah's mother moved her to a public school, breaking Clint's little heart. Sarah's mother did bring her back for the summer recreation program just so she and Clint could be together. By the time Clint was about 6 Sarah had completely moved on. Clint had his other friends and was fine.

Clint had very specific things he wanted to do in his life. He was able to do so many fun things in his 10 yrs. He wanted to fly. My husband's cousin flew a small plane for a local company. He took Clint up for a ride and Clint loved it!! One year when Clint's dad was working in Tennessee, the cousin flew Clint to North Carolina to meet his dad. They spent some time with his grandparent's summer house in the mountains. While there they went on a white water rafting trip! It was thrilling and he loved every minute of it.

Clint loved the water. We spent one vacation at the beach. He had the ocean and a swimming pool to swim to his heart's content. Always with his goggles, such a sweet memory.

Clint had developed a love of bugs. He decided he would be an entomologist when he grew up. One of the first words he learned to spell was "metamorphosis". That was in the first grade. He was fascinated, as well, by the life cycle of the butterfly. He always stayed with his choice, widening his spectrum somewhat by saying he knew he wanted to be a scientist.

Math was his strong suit. He loved playing with numbers. He would come up with formulas any and every way he could think of with numbers. One of his older sisters was a math teacher, she was his role model. By 10 he could spell quadrilateral.

Clint also loved art. He would spend hours drawing pictures.

He was entranced with the Power Rangers, so for quite a while he wanted everything Power Rangers. From his bedspread to his action figures. Then he discovered the world of Pokemon and the Game Boy. The world of electronic games took over his interest, spending hours playing his games.

He also played baseball with his school buddies. He wasn't one of the better players, be he loved being part of the team. One game he managed to connect his bat with the ball, and got the game ball for that game. He also played soccer one season. He didn't know any of the kids on his team, but did the best he could.

Back to baseball. On Clint's 10th birthday coincidentally it was the day for team pictures. He had a brand new, latest, coolest hand held game boy on the market. He was so happy for all his buddies to see it. I treasure the pictures taken that day. As things would have it, it was the last birthday he would celebrate with us.

Clint's oldest sister had married and had two children. Anna was just 2 yrs younger than Clint, and Logan a little over 3 yrs younger. They were the three musketeers. They did everything together, and spent most weekends together at our house, along with vacations, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday parties, fun times at Chuck E. Cheese.

The summer of 2003 did not turn out the way we had planned. He was registered to attend the summer recreation program in our little town. Close to the time to start we were told they would not be able to have it, not enough kids had registered. His normal after school tutor/babysitter had already found another summer job by then. His oldest sister had a baby in March of 2003 and was still at home with, by then, her four children. It was decided Clint would spend his summer days with them.

Near the very end of the summer break, Clint's sister and her husband decided to spend a couple of days at the Disney theme parks with their children. Monday was Clint's 5th grade orientation. We went and he was so happy to get the very teacher he wanted and his best friend was in his class. For the afternoon I took him to his grandmother's house. Tuesday he would spend the entire day with her while I was at work. And Wednesday the first day of school! He had his backpack filled with his new school supplies and locked, ready to go.

Things didn't exactly turn out that way. On Wednesday, August 5th, my husband's niece decided to bring her two sons to spend the day with her grandmother too. They were 12 yrs old and 5 yrs old. They were running in and out of the house all day playing and enjoying being little boys on the last day of summer vacation.

At just about 3:00 pm that afternoon I got the phone call that would forever change our lives. Grandma had a friend drop by, they were visiting, time got away from her and she wasn't paying too much attention to what the boys were doing. The boys had made their was up to the main road which had a canal running under it. They were watching the fish swimming from one side to the other.

Grandma walked her friend to her car and saw where the boys were. She hollered for them to get themselves back in her yard asap, right now! Then she turned around and walked into her house. Boys being boys they wanted just one more good look at the canal. Clint's cousins were on one side of the road and Clint on the other. The side Clint was on did not have a sidewalk, just a narrow strip of land, a small guard rail, then the canal.

This is where the story becomes pure speculation. Clint was looking into the canal on the narrow strip of grass side of the road and his cousins were on the other side with a side walk and a fence, guardrail type structure where they were looking into the canal. Meanwhile, a city bus was approaching them from the city beach area about a quarter of a mile down the road. Traffic was sparse giving the driver full vision of the boys. His story and the cousin's story don't jive at this point. When he got to Clint he did not slow down from the 45 mph speed limit, and did not move the bus nearer the center of the road to avoid all three boys. Somehow, we surmise, Clint turned from looking into the canal to facing the road and a huge bus that was right there. He fell, or was pulled into the velocity created by the bus. His head hit in the door well area.

Clint was airlifted to Tampa, the nearest big city with the type hospital he needed. Although one of the bus passengers said when she jumped off the bus and ran to him Clint had one tear drop sliding down his face, I really don't think he every woke up from the time of impact, until his soul was released to fly Heavenward. He was pronounced dead shortly after midnight.

Our world fell out from under our feet, and have never found it's footing again. 10 yrs and 4 mos was just not enough time to spend with such a blessed and cherished gift.


POETRY:



IN MEMORY OF: Jason "Beau" Morgan
AGE: 23
DATES: July 31, 1979 - Ocotber 10, 2002
CAUSE: Brain Aneurysm
WRITTEN BY: Diane Morgan, Beau's Mom

THE GOOD OL' BOYS

Luke and Beau were the good ol' boys,
Always pulling out all their toys...
Childhood buddies they were,
Sharing Birthday parties, always a stir.
One birthday party was even a Duke's of Hazzard one
The Good 'Ole Boys were always having fun.

Luke and Beau grew up - and became apart to be fine young men.
A lot alike they were, could have been next of kin...
Soared through life with many a strife,
Giving unconditional love throughout their life...
Luke and Beau's life on earth became too short,
Left family and friends but will always be in their hearts.

Luke and Beau are the Good Ol' Boys,
Always pulling out all their toys.
Sharing Birthday parties, always a stir, they are...
Forever Friends in Heaven afar...
Up to many stunts as the "Dukes of Hazzard" guys,
Forever Young and free up there in the skies.

Giving love and peace as a dove....
in their new home of heaven above...
Even though now we are apart,
they will be forever in our hearts
Until the glorious day -
that we will all be together in Heaven to stay.

© 2003 - Diane Morgan


SIGNS:

IN MEMORY OF: Leon Jr and Wayne Jonas
AGE: 29 & 28
DATES: Feb.17 and Aug 19 ~ 10-26-90
CAUSE: car crash
WRITTEN BY: jerry Jonas Mudge

We saw the 11:00 news on TV and saw a car crash on October 26,1990, my husband Leon knew right away it was our sons. At 2:00am in the morning a policeman came and knocked on our door and let us know officially that it was our sons. About 2:30am I tried to get some sleep and I cried myself to sleep but while I was trying to sleep at about 3:30am, I heard Wayne's voice and he kept telling me, "I'm all right, mama, I'm all right." Every time I closed my eyes, I could see him letting me know he was fine. I know that my heavenly Father was reassuring me that my son Wayne was with Him. But I had not heard from Leon Jr. yet. And then on Saturday afternoon the house was so full of people, my sister Billie suggested I lay down since I had not had much sleep. As I tossed on the bed, I kept asking Leon Jr. to come home like it was a horrible dream and then Leon Jr. answered me, "Mom, I am Home." I finally felt a peace come over me. With his words in my heart and mind, I know the Lord was assuring me that my sons were home with Him.

Now that I knew for sure where they were, I also knew that with God's help we would be all right. I knew I could trust my Heavenly Father to take care of my sons until I see them again with Him.


SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Cara Lee Parks Buras
AGE: 30
DATES: 9/9/76 - 10/30/2006
CAUSE: Accident
WRITTEN BY: Elissa Smith Cara's Mom For Always

Beam Me Up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFYm9LKsuUo

A friend in a grief support group posted the link for the moms in our group because it had touched her. It touched me too.

It made me think of what for me was a happier more wonderful moment than I can really describe... some people might not have felt the same... It occurred at what was also one of the hardest parts of our lives... long story short... Cara was in a psyche hospital... suicide attempt... they wouldn't let me see her for about a week and a half... I can hardly stand to remember how bad I felt when I first saw her... in just those few days she had lost several pounds... she was already too small... but now... her small thin wrists... shaking hands... I remember it all too well... kills me to think of her pain... but there was a moment I'll never forget...

We had been taken into a room for a family counseling session... Cara was angry with me because she was there... I had not had a choice... they had done a PEC and forced us to put her in the hospital. So they put Cara In that hospital with children who had lived with situations Cara had never even imagined. Cara learned, my gentle Cara learned, how to be brutal there. I was so dismayed when I heard Cara had been attacked and had ended up biting a chunk out of the girl that attacked her. I understand, she had no choice. Those children came from some very rough places. It was nightmarish. Sadly Cara lived many nightmares before her death. I think its very possible the state helped begin the long road to her death, but that's another story. Sorry as I write I am reliving it... as I said... it was an awful time in our lives... but there was as I said... that one moment... so here we are in the room with the counselor. There is a desk and chair for the counselor and a couch for Cara and I. Cara dropped angrily on the couch, keeping as much space on the limited space of the couch as she could between us. I could feel her tension, her anger, and her pain. The therapist gave me a run down on their concerns for Cara and their treatment plan and what had been going on. She gathered general family and environment information from me to try to get a picture of Cara's life before she came to the hospital.

I was so tired. I had worked all night, and immediately left Houma when I got off work to drive the 3 hours to the hospital to attend the session and to see Cara. I felt so sad that she was sitting there, inches away physically, but separated by her anger as if it were miles. Finally I couldn't help it, I said, "Cara, I know you're angry with me... I have missed you so much... would you please sit here beside me?" She didn't say anything... but she turned so that her back was to me... but she was touching my arm with her back... I didn't protest... I was just so glad to be even a little near her... then gradually she relaxed... I felt her relaxing and shortly she was leaning against me... I felt the warm welcome weight of her against my arm... It was like we began to heal from that moment... so when I think of being with Cara... mostly... I don't feel like there is anything I want to say... I mean not immediately... I just want to be there beside her... I am looking forward when it is time to a joyful reunion.

October 30th will be Cara's 7th angel day. I wanted to share the link to the song Beam Me Up by Pink, in honor of Cara. By Pink. I can almost hear Cara. Mama??? You??? Listening to Pink??? Yes Cara, to Pink, to Bruno (Talking To The Moon) and so many more. You'd be so proud of me honey. Can't wait to listen to all of them with you.


DREAMS:



IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
WRITTEN BY: Monika Hedglin

ANGEL IN THE NIGHT!

With the wings of an angel
you come to me
you creep into my dreams
with the wings of an angel
I see you play
I see your smile light up the sky
I feel your gentle kiss upon my cheek
I can hear you voice call out,
I love you Mom
With the wings of an angel
you come to me softly
you creep into my dreams
for a brief time we are...


OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis Christopher Tucker
AGE: 26
DATES: 06-11-60 09-16-86
CAUSE: accidental
WRITTEN BY: mom

I was amazed at the number of hours Dennis spent on his Music Library by creating 104 reels for his Dokorder reel-to-reel unit. Dennis was a perfectionist in whatever he did and I recently shipped the unit with 4 boxes of music, both classical and rock, to his oldest brother who will appreciate it. I found myself going through an agonizing time while packing the parcels and shipping them out after all the time and devotion Dennis spent on the recordings, but knowing his brother can listen to these treasures and enjoy them helps. I remember Dennis buying and putting up 3 long shelves on his bedroom wall and lining each box of reels, side by side and the time consumed with labeling, etc. I felt guilty giving them up as I did when I sold Dennis' Mustang convertible, knowing the love and care he gave to them. Now that they are shipped to his brother in TX, I feel a sense of relief rather than guilt as Dennis' music remains in my heart as he does in all great things that we shared together with his brother Dale. We both did this project together; otherwise, I don't know how I would have done it alone. I'm so proud of Dennis' talents in music, being a classical trumpeter and chorister, his ingenuity on creating and building as well as being high honors in school. Everything Dennis did, he did with pride and I've been fortunate to have him in my life for 26 years. God bless him always.


MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, SERVICE, TATTOO, BUMPER STICKER, WINDOW STICKER.....

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Joseph Quinn
AGE: 21
DATES: 1/1/87 - 12/16/08
WRITTEN BY: Mom

There are many memorials for my son Danny. Danny loved tattoos. Of course, most of us from the older generation don't understand tattoos so everytime Danny would get a tattoo I would get somewhat annoyed. When Danny died, my sister played his birthday numbers in the FL lottery and won. She honored Danny by getting an Angel tattoo. Next thing you know, my Dad at the age of 70 got a tattoo to honor Danny. Then my brother got a portrait of Danny along with 3 other tattoos to honor him. His uncles, cousins and friends started getting tattoos. And the memorials begin....About 35 people in total got tattoos. Each one was unique and represented who Danny was. Some even got a tattoo in their lip. Then his friends talked me into it (I was more scared of the needles than anything). I first started out with a cross and his name/dates. Then went to a dove with his favorite saying. Next butterflies, a broken heart and a rose. But the tattoo that I treasure is the portrait of Danny on my leg. When strangers ask me about it I am so proud to tell them that it is my son Danny. It keeps his memory and legacy alive. When I feel down I look at the tattoo and know he is close to me and that I will see him someday. It is such an honor to know so many people love Danny to express it on their body with a tattoo. And I learned a lesson. Tattoos are an art and they represented who Danny was.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter




Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

DUCKS, DUCKS, DUCKS

Ducks would be important for three times in our lives......

Our first special memory of ducks..... 1989

When Luke was 9 years old he was chosen as the Winning Kid (poster child) for the Epilepsy foundation for the Houston Gulf Coast Region in Texas. We lived there for a year when Robin (my husband) had a job assignment there. Then the foundation entered Luke in the National Epilepsy Foundation Winning Kid contest. He was runner-up, and a little girl won as the Winning Kid. As runner-up Luke and his family were invited to Memphis, Tennessee to the national convention. The Epilepsy Foundation paid for our hotel room at the Peabody Hotel. The convention was wonderful, and at the banquet that night we were asked to sit at the front table with the little girl who had won and her family. Luke being nine years old did not want to sit at that table because as he put it...."A girl won." But we graciously accepted and sat at the table. The little girl was very nice and her and Luke got along well. The Winning Kid and her runner-up were called to the stage and were presented with an Epilepsy Foundation Teddy Bear. Luke was soooo excited about his little bear. The next day we spent time around the hotel because we had heard all about how a group of ducks rode the elevator from the top of the hotel to the lobby below and then walked out and pranced all the way to the fountain in the lobby. It was a sight to see. Well, that did it, Luke was in love with those ducks. Luke's sister, Emily, was also very impressed. Afterwards we all went to the gift shop and we told Emily and Luke that could choose a gift as a remembrance of their trip. Luke looked all around and then he found the PERFECT GIFT. He came running up to us with these Greenhead Mallard Duck slippers. He was so anxious to get back to the room so he could wear his slippers. It was a wonderful trip and Luke wore those slippers for years after that, until his feet would no long fit in them. I still have those silly old duck slippers and they bring a smile to my face when I think about how excited our little Winning Kid was to have his very own duck slippers.

Our second special memory of ducks.....1998

When Emily and Luke were both in college they shared an apartment together. They were both very excited to be out on their own. We helped them get moved in. That night Emily and Luke went to the grocery store to get some necessities. The filled their basket with groceries and bath items. While they were shopping on the cleaning isle Luke said...."Hey Emily, let's get this little blue duck toilet cleansers, they make the water blue." So they put them in their basket. When the got back to the apartment Luke said..."Hey Emily, lets put our little blue ducks in the toilet and make the water blue." So Emily agreed. Luke headed to his bathroom and Emily headed to hers. A few minutes later Luke came out into the living room saying...."Mine didn't work." Emily said... "What do you mean it didn't work." Luke said... "Well the water didn't turn blue." Emily said.... "Well, mine did. Did you put the duck in the tank." Luke just looked at Emily with this puzzled look on his face and said...."No, I dropped it in the bowl and flushed it." Then they both fell to the floor laughing hysterically.

Our third special memory of ducks....2010

It was my husband's birthday when we got a call from his brother saying that his son Dylan had died that day at the age of 36. We couldn't believe it! Luke had died over 9 years earlier. Dylan and Luke were cousins, although they really didn't know each other very well because we lived in Arizona and Dylan and his family lived in Louisiana. Terry (Dylan's Dad) taught Dylan to duck hunt at the age of 7. Dylan's passion from then on was duck hunting. He and his Dad spent a lot of quality 'guy' time at their camp that rested on stilts overlooking a beautiful cypress lake. At that camp they laughed together, they watched football together, they cooked meals together, they built duck blinds together, they went fishing together, they had father and son talks together, and they did the necessary jobs around the camp to preserve it as a 'duck hunting paradise' for the two of them. After Dylan's death his parents had a sign made for their camp that has a beautiful duck scene on it with the words 'DYLAN'S CAMP' printed across the scene. It was only fitting to name their camp DYLAN'S CAMP because it would forever be remembered as a place of happiness between Dylan and his Dad. Terry still goes to the camp, many times alone, just to reflect on his precious memories. But as Terry said... "It will never be same without Dylan." We drove to Louisiana for Dylan's funeral and when we arrived at the funeral home in Louisiana and walked up to the casket, there was Dylan..... peacefully, eternally sleeping with his hands clutching his favorite duck calls. As Robin and I stood there looking at Dylan in disbelief of it all, tears streamed down my face and I remember thinking.... "another special duck memory of a son gone way too soon."

Memories of Ducks.....

Every time I see a duck I think of three things..... Luke's slippers, the little blue duck, and Dylan. All three of these things make me cry and at the same time all three of these things make me smile. I find it amazing that 2 beautiful lives, destined to die young, will be fondly remembered, honored, and cherished with the thought of something as simple as ....... a duck.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



THE DUCK HUNTER'S LAST REQUEST

He walked beyond the Cypress trees
In the swamp towards the west.
He bowed his head in reverence
As he made his last request.

"Let this hunter's voice be heard
In the morning winds that sing
And let this hunter's spirit soar
On the tips of mallard wings."

"And in the sun and in the moon
And in the wetland's starlight glow
Let my light forever shine
Casting shadows of hope below."

"Let this worn-out hunting cap
Be my halo when I die,
As I carry my shotgun and decoys,
And wade across the clouds on high."

"Call in the ones that aimed with me,
And the little hunters too.
Help them all to understand
That my final hunt is through."

"Please grant this last request of mine
As I gently walk away,
Calling ducks along the pass
To that place where I will stay."

Then he walked beyond the sunset,
His silhouette against the sky.
His eternal duck call echoed,
As he said his last goodbye.


© 2013 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001 &
In memory of Dylan Ross 1973 - 2010

Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

WIND BENEATH MY WINGS

"Wind Beneath My Wings" is a song written in 1982 by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley. The song was recorded by many artist through the years but the highest-charting version of the song to date was recorded in 1988 by singer and actress Bette Midler for the soundtrack to the film Beaches. It was named Record of the Year and Song of the Year at the Grammy Awards of 1990. The song became a worldwide hit, No. 5 in UK, No. 4 in New Zealand and No. 1 in Australia.

source: Wikipedia



WIND BENEATH MY WINGS

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.


~ Words & music by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Dylan Ross
AGE: 36 years
DATES: 11/22/1973 - 8/27/2010
CAUSE: Pulmonary embolism
SUBMITTED BY: Rhonda Ross (Mom)

: Oh what a day it was! Thanksgiving Day 1973, LSU and Alabama on national TV, the highly anticipated arrival of YOU, my beloved son! I remember everything about that happy day even though it was 40 years ago. You were so tiny at 5 pounds 10 ounces but you were perfect in every way. I felt my life was complete. The next 36 years and nine months hold all the memories so dear to my heart. The joy, worries, hugs, kisses, laughter, pride, late night talks, and love that were all part of watching you live and grow into the wonderful son, brother, husband, father, and friend that you were. As you celebrate your fourth birthday in Heaven we will celebrate your precious life here on earth. We love you and miss you Dylan.

IN MEMORY OF: Bradford "Wayne" Wells, Jr.
AGE: 42
DATES: 6/30/63 * 11/15/05
CAUSE: heart attack
SUBMITTED BY: Mom of Bradford "Wayne" Wells, Jr.

: You've been in heaven eight years now. It seems like yesterday you left us so suddenly. I love you and miss you so very much. Mom


IN MEMORY OF: Michelle Marie Greever
DATE: November 5th Anniversary
SUBMITTED BY: Cindy Jo, MIchelle's Mama

Loved and Remembered

With her daddy now...for her Twentieth Anniversary in Heaven.
JOHN 10:28-29

Please visit Michelle's 20th Angel Page;

http://michellesmama.com/MichMem2013.html

Love, CindyJo
michellesmama.com

IN MEMORY OF OUR U.S. MILITARY CHILDREN IN HONOR OF VETERAN'S DAY:

Staff Sergeant ADAM R. FIOCK *** HM2 ATHAN SCOTT ALLEN *** SPC Andrew Paul Wade *** ~: CORPORAL Brian Joseph Parker *** PFC BRANDON TYLER BESHADA *** Spc 4 Specialist Brandon Wesley Sgaggero *** Lance Corporal Brandon C. Dewey *** SPC Brandon Lee Stout *** A1C COREY CHRISTOPHER JAMES *** SFC Christopher Scott Paxton *** Corporal Christopher J. Lapka *** SFC Carlos Marcelino Santos-Silva *** ~: AIRMAN Daniel Bruce Conley *** Lance Corporal Dustin Marshall Rawls *** LIEUTENANT JG DOUGLAS WALTER LAMAY *** Spc Darrell W. Shipp *** Tech Sargent David Paul Heuslein *** SGT. DEREK CHRISTIAN WENTZ *** SGT David Samuel Collins *** Chief Petty Officer David N. Beaulieu *** Private Heath Douglas Warner *** PV2 ISAAC T CORTES *** SERGEANT JASON RANDALL JOHNSON *** AIRMAN JAMES NEAL SMITH *** PFC JOSHUA EUGENE HEDGLIN *** LANCE CORPRAL JESSE RYAN TRACEY *** SGT JASON ALAN SCHUMANN *** SSGT Jason Daniel Whitehouse *** special ops James E. "Wati" Waters *** Petty Officer 1st Class Joseph Adam McSween *** Specialist Joshua Clinton Farmer *** Lance Corporal Justin Douglas Linscott *** 3rd Class Petty Officer KEITH E. COMBS *** PFC Kerri Nicole Larsen *** ~: SARGENT LEE WILLIAM HARRIS *** Private 1st Class Louis MIchael (LOUIE) Johnson *** HC 2nd CLASS Marty Gillespie *** SPC4 MICHAEL LEE NEVILS *** Sgt. Michael Adam Marzano *** PFC Michael Ray Shelly *** Staff Sargent Michael G. Owen *** Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael Burton *** SPC. Nicholas E. Wilson *** SPECIALIST PHILIP CODY FORD *** SEA CADET E-3 PAMELA LYNNE REID *** SPC-4 RANDY REED HECOX *** Lance Corporal ROBERT (ROBBY) ROGERS III *** HN Robert Nathaniel Martens *** chief master sargent *** Robert Randolph Fisher *** Airman First Class SCOTT M. SCHROEDER *** 1ST SARGENT SCOTT ALLEN JOHNS0N *** PVT1 Sam Williams Huff *** Major Sean Cedric Douglas *** ~: CORPORAL Timothy Patrick Parker *** SPC TRENTON ALAN DOVE *** MP THOMAS BECKETT HENSLEY III *** corp William "Bubba" Taylor *** SSG Zachary A. Darras ***


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

"Yesterday I had a dream about dying, about laying to rest and then flying, how the moment at hand is the only thing We really own."
~ John Denver

MEMBER QUOTE:

"We belong to a club no parent ever wants to be a member of, Parents of Lost Children." ~ Joyce, Wayne's Mom 2012

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Dylan Ross
AGE: 36 years
DATES: 11/22/1973 - 8/27/2010
CAUSE: Pulmonary embolism
SUBMITTED BY: Rhonda Ross (Mom)

"Your presence we miss, your memories we treasure, loving you always, forgetting you never." ~ Author unknown


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Robert Travis Miller
AGE: 19 yrs and 10 mths and 10 days
DATES: 11/29/1991 to 10/09/2011
CAUSE: murder~ shot in the back
SUBMITTED BY: Kim

: My sweet son,my Angel,my Heart,

I miss you more each day,when you got murdered,A big part of my heart went with you ,I cant believe that the world goes on without you,to me it stopped I feel like Im wearing a mask each day,I cant tell no one how my heart breaks more each day,I look to the sky trying to find you,just to see you up in the sky,I want this nightmare to end and you will be here smiling and telling me its ok mom...it will never be ok again,your brother and sisters misses you,we always talk about you,I hear songs,see clothes or food that reminds me of you,I see young men that I think is you and I realize its not you and my heart breaks more.

Your little girl is so like you,I talk about you every time I see her,I gave her some pictures of you holding her,I tell her how much you love her and you are in heaven watching over her,she acts older then her 4 years just like you always acted.

I try to act normal but I cant,I cry,I get mad over everything,you was not suppose to die before me, you are my youngest son,my pride and joy,my friend,everyone looked up to you.. If someone needed help,you was there,if someone was cold,you gave your coat to them,I remember we was on our way back home,a tree was down,you got out of the car and helped the men move it,I am so proud of you son,I miss your hugs,your monkey kisses,your teasing,your smile,your beautiful blue eyes, you was so much like your papaw,you was a good loving son,save me a place in heaven son,one day we will meet and I will be able to hug you and tell you how much we have missed you~gone but never forgotten.

Mother of a Angel
~ Travis mom forever~
I love you son forever and a day
~Kim~


LIFE STORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
SUBMITTED BY: Monika Hedglin

I love you with all my heart and soul Joshua.


My Angel and I

My angel and I walked by the waters edge.
We talked of life long ago.
We talked of growing up in a world so strange.
My angel I walked along the waters edge
We talked of memories we had shared.
We talked of climbing trees.
How much it hurt to skin your knees.
We talked of dreams we each held dear,
My angel had so many and so did I.
My angel and I walked on the waters edge together again,
Or was it just my imagination?
We talked of growing up.
I answered a million mommy whys?
A thousand mommy what if's?
We talked of becoming an astronaut,
flying to the moon.
or becoming a jet fighter pilot,
and flying the skies so blue.
Mom I decided to be an artist and teach.
We all have a talent, we just need to find it.
Mom I am in love. I love her so much...
My angel and I walked by the waters edge,
It seemed like hours had gone by.
Or was it my imagination.
I heard my angel speak.
"I have to go now mom my time is up.
I Love you mom, we'll walk the waters edge again".
Or was it just my imagination?
My Angel and I.
We'll walk in the clouds together one day.
I know that's not my imagination.

I love you son!
Written by Monika Mom 2 Joshua forever


POETRY:


IN MEMORY OF: Denise Rosaleen Vaughan
AGE: 6
DATES: July 14, 1978--Dec. 28th., 1984
CAUSE: Braintumor, cancer
SUBMITTED BY: Rosaleen (Vaughan) Bellamy

Angel Children

Dear Angel children, all up above,
Please come and visit the one's that you love.

We wait in our dreams to be with you tonight
Dear God help us to see them in Your Light.

Author: Rosaleen Deschamps


SIGNS:

IN MEMORY OF: Dylan Ross
AGE: 36 years
DATES: 11/22/1973 - 8/27/2010
CAUSE: Pulmonary embolism
SUBMITTED BY: Rhonda Ross (Mom)

: Dylan was an avid duck hunter. Since early childhood he spent every duck season here in south Louisiana hunting at every opportunity with his Dad, cousin Richie, son, daughter, other family and friends. Five months after his death on the closing day of that first duck season without him his Dad, cousin Richie, and daughter Madison were hunting together at our camp that he loved in Mississippi. Early that morning they noticed a little yellow bird, like none of them had ever seen before, flitting around the duck blind. It fearlessly flew into the blind and spent the day with them perching on the railing to watch them, flying down and landing on Richie's boot, and eating crumbs from a sweet roll from Maddie. It was clear to all three of them that Dylan was there with them that day. In three more seasons of duck hunting since then none of them has ever seen this little bird again.



IN MEMORY OF: stephen matthew wilson
AGE: 20
DATES: june 2 1981-dec 11 2001
CAUSE: auto accident
SUBMITTED BY: cheryl

: July 28th of this year we had just left home to take our two grandsons home who had been visiting with us. We got about 5 miles from home and our 11 year old grandson(named after stephen) said "look there is an H in the sky.." We all looked and there was a planes contrail "cloud" in the shape of a capital H. We all was amazed that it would be there as most of the time they are all just straight lines in the sky. We went another few miles and then our grandson said " look it says HI. We pulled over to the side of the road and looked and sure enough the H now had a I next too it.. We tried to take a picture with the cell phone but it was too far away.:-( We continued on our drive to their town which was 2 hours away.. Even after an hour we could still look back and see the word HI in the sky.. normally a planes contrail will change shapes and gradually disappear.. this one didn't. So STEPHEN was saying hi to us all :-) We all said hi to you to stephen. A great memory!!!


SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Dennis C. Murphy Jr.
AGE: 28
DATES: 2/16/81-12/26/2009
CAUSE: car accident
SUBMITTED BY: Yandell Murphy

: Our son Dennis Murphy Jr. was the oldest of two children, he was a blessing and a joy, he was the type of child that didn't meet a stranger and was a joy to be around. He did whatever was ask of him, and Thanksgiving I loved to cook a big meal just to see him enjoy eating what ever I cooked. He was the protector of his younger brother of 22 months, no one could do anything to hurt his baby brother, he was my husbands fishing partner, or whatever my husbad was doing in the yard if he wasn't at work, he was helping him. For me, he loved to pick on me pinch me, pull my hair what ever to just be doing something to me. It's not a day that goes by that I don't think of something that he did. He is truly missed and sometimes I wonder if I had just gotten to say good Bye if that would have made it any easier, but I know it my heart, regardless of what happened I still wouldn't have wanted him to leave us. The holidays are not the same, and I think we just go through the motions. Forever missed and truly loved still.

His Mom
Yandell


DREAMS:



IN MEMORY OF: Joey Whiteman
AGE: 21 years, 360 days
DATES: 9/8/80-9/3/02
CAUSE: auto accident, blunt force trauma to his heart
SUBMITTED BY: Terrie, Joey's Mom

: The other night I had a dream, it was in our old house and everyone was there for some kind of party I guess.

This time it was very different, my Mother died in 1989 and my father died in 1997. I hadn't had a dream about my mother since she died and always felt sad for my mother and I were so close. I had dreamed before about my father. This time it was different, Joey brought my mother to me, so young, so beautiful with short dark curly hair, I kept repeating how I think I'll get my hair done just like hers. It was so nice to see Mom Mom, that's what he called her and Joey together.

I don't know what the dream meant, but I sure am happy he did bring her to me, what a wonderful surprise.

I love you Joey and I know how much you loved Mom Mom and Pop Pop too.

Love, Ma Ma

10/1/13


OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:


IN MEMORY OF: Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE: 27
DATES: DOB 3/13/1984 - DOD 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY: his mother Mary Stenzel

One of the proudest moments for Rick (Sean's Dad) and I was when his Uncle Jerry S and his bride, Aunt Peggy, asked Sean to be their ringer bearer. Sean was 5 and was just going to start school. We thought he was the cutest little guy. His cousin, Ashley, was the flower girl and those two little ones were so darling! He was honored to be asked to be in a couple of other weddings in the Johnson family as well, including two of my nieces and his Uncle Ken and Aunt Stacey's wedding. He attended two proms. He and his date, Stef, were such a cute couple at their Junior Prom. Sean didn't go to a local Senior prom, but he was asked to go with Alisha, his girlfriend at the time, to her Senior prom in the TC. Rick and I stayed overnight close to where they held the grand march, so we could watch our son with his date. Sean was so very handsome and when he put on the tuxes, he was really a "lady killer"! My cousin, Charlie, would always call Sean "hollywood". My sister-in-law, Judy, said he was so good looking, he was like a movie star. Handsome or not, what I saw in Sean was a heart of gold and his love of Jesus...which made him the wonderful young man he was...our only son who was taken away from us at such a young age. When his Aunt Bert gave us the figurine "The Boy With the Golden Heart" at the time of his death, it meant so much to us.




2013
Bringer of Light newsletter





Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS

December 1st in our house always meant the countdown to Christmas with Emily and Luke opening a little present every day until Christmas. I would head out to the dollar store right after Thanksgiving and buy 48 little items. Oh how they loved to open those little presents. Luke would be so filled with anticipation for each December morning from the time he was a little fellow. When Emily grew up and moved out on her own, the tradition continued. I would buy all her gifts and put them in a Santa Bag and take them to her apartment. Luke's gifts would be wrapped and placed in a Santa Bag under the big tree in our home. Luke's last Christmas, Christmas 2000, for some reason, I decided not to go to the dollar store, but instead I bought T-shirts, and cologne, and CD's, and things like that. On December 1st of the year 2000, my 21-year-old son got out of bed, walked into the family room with that big ol' yawn and stretch of his and said with that some old anticipation..."Hey, Mom can I open a present?" So there we set in front of the fireplace, Luke with the same sparkle in his eyes as he had as a little boy. He would always say...."Thank you Mom" and give me a big hug.... after he opened his gift. Each morning we would go through the same routine of the yawn, stretch, hey mom, excitement, sparkle, thank you, and hug.

No longer do I head out to the stores after Thanksgiving to look for 48 special little gifts. No more Santa bag to fill, no more tree, no more anticipation, no more excitement, no more sparkle in those eyes, no more big yawns, no more stretches, no more early morning December hugs, just that continual December Christmas countdown of every painful day that is only an empty reminder of what is no more. But even through the pain my mind is full of special treasured memories of Luke on every December morning before Christmas day, from age 1 month, (when Emily opened the presents for him) until age 21 when he sat in front of the fireplace, with his robe on, ripping into a present as he counted down..... the last December mornings of his life.

© 2013 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



LONELY CHRISTMAS NIGHT

Your rocking horse is put away.
Your tricycle stands alone.
Your little winter coats and hats
Have all become un-sewn.

Your bicycle's stored out in the shed.
Your car is covered with a tarp.
The Christmas tree and ornaments
Are in the corner in the dark.

Your games are in the closet.
Your cell phone receives no calls.
Your patchwork Christmas stocking
Hangs empty on the wall.

Your guitar plays no music.
Your new clothes are somehow old.
Your toys are all upon the shelf
With stories left untold.

Your sled is covered up with snow.
Your skis rest behind the door.
Your gloves that used to warm your hands
Will warm your hands no more.

Your candle's burning brightly.
Your little tree has twinkle lights.
Your urn rests there between them both
On this lonely Christmas night.

© 2007 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

WHERE ARE YOU CHRISTMAS

"Christmas, Why Can't I Find You?" is a song co-written by James Horner, Will Jennings and Mariah Carey for the movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas in 2000 In the movie, it is first sung by Taylor Momsen, who played Cindy Lou Who.

A longer and different version of this song, called "Where Are You, Christmas?", was co-written by Mariah Carey, James Horner and Will Jennings. The song was originally recorded by Carey, but because of a legal case with her ex-husband, it could not be released, so it was re-recorded and released by Faith Hill. A video was released featuring Hill singing from the Grinch's mountaintop home, interspersed with clips from the film and a cameo appearance by Taylor Momsen as Cindy Lou Who.

source: Wikipedia



WHERE ARE YOU CHRISTMAS

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time


~ Words & music by Mariah Carey, James Horner and Will Jennings


ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

IN MEMORY OF: Laurie Michelle Baer
AGE: 16
DATES: 10/31/76 - 12/4/92
CAUSE: congenital heart defect
SUBMITTED BY: Lauries Mommy

What can I say that I haven't said before? I have experienced every emotion possible since the moment of Laurie's death. Shock, disbelief, anger, guilt, more guilt, more anger, anger with God, pain, grief, depression, and more. There is only one way to describe this pain in a way for others who have not experienced it. I think everyone has at one time or another in their lifetime had a pair of shoes that didn't fit, that hurt when they walked, rubbed blisters, etc. This is what happens to us when we lose our child. We are given a pair of shoes that we have to wear 24/7. We don't want them, we'd do anything in the world to be able to wear other shoes. But this is impossible. These are the ones that have been given to us. And we'll have to wear them the rest of our life.

I have asked the question 'why' so many times that sometimes I can't even spell it any more. I have seen on the news where parents torture and kill their children, where parents lock their kids away and starve them to death, where husbands kill their pregnant wives just to be with another woman, where women kill their children just to be with another man. I have watched parents in the malls treat their children like they wish they didn't have them, let them wander off, yell and scream at them, yank them up by their hands nearly ripping their shoulder out of place. I am so sick and tired of people who have kids and don't appreciate what they have. Why do people who don't want children wind up with four or five of them, while other people who would love to have just one can't conceive or lose their only child. Why is this world falling apart around me and there is nothing I can do about it but continue to exist in a world where there is no love, where they are taking God out of our lives, even off or our currency, out of our schools.

And yet, here I am still, existing, not living, but existing, taking each day minute by minute. And no one wants to be around us, not someone who is not only wearing shoes that are killing them, but that are ugly too. Other people are afraid they might rub off on them, that their feet might start hurting. So they stay away from us. We try to find other people who have the same pain, the same kind of shoes that we are wearing, the ones we wear even though they are hurting us constantly. We do what we can to share our pain with each other. After all, we are the only ones who want to associate with us. Everyone else has walked away in good fitting shoes, even our family members. And it's like the story of the elephant in the room. Whenever we are around everyone knows there is an elephant in the room, but no one wants to talk about it or even admit it is there. Just ignore it and it will go away.

Laurie always with me, wherever I go, whatever I do, she is always in my heart and in my mind. But it's not the same as having her physically with me. One day we will be together again. Until then I will continue to have faith and take life one day at a time..

IN MEMORY OF: Patricia Diane Rawls
AGE: 53
DATES: 3-2-56 to 12-11-10
CAUSE: Cancer
SUBMITTED BY: Mother and Daughter

Dreams of a wonderful and loving lady, I have had only one and she had a huge smile on her face and she assured me all was ok. That was something she did all the time while here on earth. Sometimes I wonder about how ok things will be, but in the end I know it will be ok, we will see her again one day.

She is missed constantly and we love her so much. We will see her again one day, when our time comes. Until then we cherish our memories of her and her love and smiile, and hugs, and her words of encouragement.

IN MEMORY OF: Timothy D. Stratton
AGE: 29 years
DATES: 2-6-79----12-7-08
CAUSE: pencreatitis
SUBMITTED BY: mom

: My Tim,
Dec.7th it will be 5years since you left us,where has the time gone?In my heart it feels like yesterday and it still hurts so much.I still ask how this could all happen within 24 hours,but it was Gods will.I light a candle every night by your picture,I love to see the flicker of the candle on your face.Your sisters are still missing there only brother so much and make sure that I am fine,as you knew they would.There was so much love between all of you kids, a love that I have never seen before in siblings.I am so proud of that.I am so glad we gave you all the love here on earth that we could give you,I must have done something right in raising all of you.My son my heart is always with you,every moment ,every second ,every day.
Sending you my love,Mom


IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Joseph Quinn
AGE: 21 years old
DATES: 1\1\87 - 12\16\08
SUBMITTED BY: Mom - Mary Jo Landers

5 years ago on Dec 16, 2008 Danny was taken from us. We spent our last Thanksgiving together and then 2 wonderful weeks after that. If I knew that was our last holiday together I would never have let that time go. He was an inspiration to many and was looked up to by everyone. There were so many things he has accomplished in the short period of time he was with us. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him longing to hug and kiss him. I would give anything to hear his voice especially his unique laugh. Till we meet again i hold him in my heart.


IN MEMORY OF: Denise Marie McCormick
AGE: 40 yrs
DATES: 12-07-1963 ~ 2-28-2004
CAUSE: Murder
SUBMITTED BY: Sherrie

Happy 50 birthday in heaven to my precious daughter, Denise. On the 7 of December, 50 years ago that you were born and they didnít think you would live. I prayed and prayed and by Godís grace you surprised them. You lived! You were so small and they wouldnít let me bring you home. I couldnít even hold you. All I could do was look at you through the window of the nursery and you were in your little glass box. I went to the hospital every day and spent time looking through that window and watching you. Sometimes the nurse would pick you up out of the incubator and let me see you better. I remember when we finally got to bring you home. We were so happy and excited! You were already 10 days old before you were big enough that they would release you from the hospital. They made us wait until you weighed 5 Ĺ lbs. For forty years I got to hold you and love you and tell you how much you mean to me...my oldest daughter, my first born, my best friend. Then one horrible night a monster took you away. We love you and miss you every minute of every day. Now we must hold you in our hearts and not our arms. I love you forever, Denise, with all my heart. Mom


QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

The only gift is a portion of thyself. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

MEMBER QUOTE:

"How I treasure and cherish those special beautiful memories that sometimes can seem like a lifetime ago." ~ Julie, Robby's Mom 2012

MEMORIAL QUOTE:


IN MEMORY OF: Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE: 27
DATES: 3/13/1984 - 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY his mother Mary Stenzel

Even though Sean was short in stature, he made up for it in strength. He was amazingly strong and faithfully worked out in his garage, whether it was 30 below or 100 degrees above. He used a nipco heater in the winter. Prior to his death, he and Rick (Sean's Dad) were talking about installing a window AC in his garage. I always worried about him working out in the extreme cold and hot weather. I can still hear him telling me "don't worry so much mom"..but isn't that what moms do best? Before he moved into his own home, he had weights in our small basement and then he made the horse shed his workout area. He was so disciplined with his weight training, which was very important to him


LETTERS TO HEAVEN:

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
WRITTEN BY: Monika Hedglin

Joshua

Today is Our special Day.
Nineteen yeras ago today
I held you for the first time
I was so happy to be your Mother
you made our whole world complete
Thru all the trials and tribulations
You were our greatest Joy
For reasons I cannot understand
You now live in the house of Our Lord
There has never been a greater gift
From the Lord bestowed on two parents
Than the blessing of being your mom and Dad
we miss you more with each passing day

Love Mom and Dad
Written with love Dec 1997 by
Monika Hedglin Josh's mom forever


LIFE STORIES:


IN MEMORY OF: Christopher Ronald Faller
AGE: 7-1/2 years
DATES: 5/7/90 - 3/24/98
CAUSE: viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
SUBMITTED BY: Maria Faller (mom)

Christopher had a successful heterotopic, or piggyback, heart transplant on Oct. 8,1997. He was born May 7, 1990 and was sick all his life with severe restrictive cardiomyopathy and secondary pulmonary hypertension. But, other than that, Christopher seemed healthy and just kept getting happier and happier with life. Our beautiful blond-haired, brown-eyed boy lifted his head, roiled over, crawled, walked and talked just like any other child. We decided to put off the transplant as long as he was doing okay. He was definitely our miracle child. He refused to give in to the heart disease. He was the joy of our lives. But you would never have known he was sick just looking at him or talking with him.

For a short time after the successful surgery, Christopher finally found out how much energy a normal 7-year-old can have. This past Christmas, he was running up and down the stairs with his cousins and making plans for the future, the first time he had done either in his entire short life. We thought now, finally, he'd be able to lead a normal life.

When Christopher came home after recovering from the surgery, the hospital sent us home with the booklet they give to all heart transplant patients' parents. On page 19 of this booklet is a three-paragraph description of the horrible disease that killed our son: it is called post-transplant lymphoproliferative disease, or PTLD. The booklet says it "occurs in only a small number of transplant recipients", and the booklet doesn't give a death rate. PTLD is triggered by Epstein-Barr Virus, a common virus in humans that causes mononucleosis. In some transplant patients, such as poor Christopher, the virus can cause tumors to grow in different organs of the body.

The donated heart, unfortunately, carried the virus. Christopher never did, so he didn't have any pre-existing antibodies with which to fight the virus. By January 19, he was back in Children's Hospital for treatment of his PTLD.

To treat it, they stop the patient's anti-rejection drugs. But soon Christopher was breathing too fast -- his heart biopsy showed that he was rejecting the donor heart. He had to take steroids if he was to fight off both the rejection and the viral disease. The doctors decided to do a lung biopsy to determine if it was truly PTLD in his lungs, but something went wrong with the procedure. On February 3rd, they lost Christopher's pulse and his two hearts then stopped beating -- but he was resuscitated and seemed to be okay.

He was given his first course of chemotherapy to kill the large PTLD tumors growing in his chest, and he seemed to be getting beffer. Then one night, in a panic, he told my husband he couldn't breathe.

The next night, I had to listen to Christopher pleading not to be put back on the ventilator. But I could tell he was struggling for air and had to persuade him that he needed help with his breathing. I thought I was saving him'.

So then Christopher said, "Okay, Mommy." Those were the last clear words that we ever heard him say. Because the breathing tube made talking impossible, and he had to be heavily sedated so he wouldn't fight the tube.

On March 10th, Christopher's two hearts stopped again; he fought back again but ended up on a heart/lung machine. And then, they started more chemotherapy, along with a fungal infection, kidney failure and dialysis. His last CT Scan showed that his lungs were solid with virus-induced tumors.

Then, on March 24th, Christopher's hearts beat out their unique rhythm for the last time, falling silent at 12:03 a.m. To his intense relief, my husband was by his side at that very moment. He was afraid that Christopher's spirit would come out of his body and look around and ask "Where's my Daddy?"

Before I had left the hospital that night, I had told Christopher that I was very proud of him and that I loved him very much, and 1 wanted him to come home and play with his Legos.

On March 27th, Christopher's funeral mass was celebrated at St. Sebastian Church. His second-grade classmates and student council members attended and the children's choir sang. After the mass, we went outside to find about 200 students lined up along the driveway, forming a kind of honor guard. It was absolutely beautiful and incredibly quiet. What a loving tribute to our special little Christopher!


POETRY:


IN MEMORY OF: Joey Marshall Whiteman360
AGE: 21 years, 360 days
DATES: 09/08/80-09/03/02
CAUSE: auto accident
WRITTEN BY: Terrie Whiteman

Dearest Joey,

Your candle's shining brightly
on the grieving parents site,
Your room is filled with Christmas Strings,
of brightly colored lights,

Our tree is filled with angels,
your name on everyone,
From birth to death I see you,
newborn to twenty-one.

This Christmas Day will be the same,
as the ones that have all passed,
You're not here, not in the flesh,
but in my heart you'll last.

I miss you so much, my sweet boy,
I can't imagine why,
how I keep on going year to year,
without your sweet goodbye,

Be happy with the angels,
you've met along the way,
They'll be your friends forever,
Forever and a Day.

Sweet Dreams My Angel,
Merry Christmas,
Love, Mom


SIGNS:

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
WRITTEN BY: Monika Hedglin

I have a very special Christmas memory /sign from Joshua that comforts me throughout the holiday season. treasure the most is our first christmas with out Josh..... I was still in denial and I was so sure he was coming after all Jamie was going to behome from detention so surely this was over with and Josh was coming home too. I waited all day christmas eve so sure he would come home again... at about 11 pm we dressed up warm to go the cemetary I wanted to be there as christmas came in and before we went to midnight mass we had to climb the fence and walk thru the snow about a mile to get his resting place as we walked along with our flashlights we saw a mama deer and her two babies prancing in the snow we watched for a few minutes and then they continued on there journey but then we saw them stop at my sons grave and then they were gone in blink...... as we approached Josh's grave we shined our flashlights around the in the snow but there were no foot prints there...... we stayed and lit a candle and talked to Josh when we had to go or we would be late for mass.I looked up at the cloud covered sky and said I guess it is true and my christmas wish wont be coming true your not coming home just then the clouds parted over Joshua Grave and the moon shown so bright and beside was on beautiful Star..... I knew in my heart that although Josh was not home with me he was infact home with the Lord our God and he was celebrating the most awesome Christmas off all . As we left the grave the sky stayed with the opening in the clouds and that moon shining bright but the christmas star was even brighter.... we didnt even need our flashlights to light our way. As we approached the gate the clouds began to slowly move back over the moon and when we climbed to the other side of the fence the cloud had completely covered the moon and star. and it was dark once again. Joshua had guided us out of the cemetary and wished the merriest of heart broken Christmas we could possibly have. I felt so much peace that night as if I had seen a miracle that night......This memory comforts me every year at christmas time. At the end of every year, there is one comforting thought for us... another year is behind us and it brings us one year closer to seeing you again. So till then my sweet son I wish you a Merry Christmas in Heaven.

Christmas 1997


IN THEIR OWN WORDS:

written or said by our children or about our children





IN MEMORY OF: Timothy D. Stratton
AGE: 29 years
DATES: 2-6-79--12-7-08
CAUSE: pencreatitis
SUBMITTED BY: Mom, Karin H Haley

November 29th 2013
(WRITTEN BY: Tim's 9 year old daughter)

My Dad

by jaiden stratton

right now i'm doing figure skating,I thik daddy would be proud. when I get on the ice it's like i'm floating in the sky and daddy tim is right beside me. I know daddy tim is always with me. FOREVER love. your daughter, jaiden stratton

P.S. you will always be in my heart
from his 9year old daughter


SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
SUBMITTED BY: Monika Hedglin

Decemeber 4,2001

Today is Our Special Day
The day we celebrate your Adoption
. Just as we have always done
We'll get out the decorations one by one
We'll recall each fond memory
As we place them on the tree
Your little mouse you got when you were three
The little blue elephant... your first ornament
The rocking horse when you were just five
The dinosaur when you were seven
An ornament for each year,
each one holds a memory so dear
The bear on a Popsicle when you were ten
the bugs bunny you wanted... you were twelve then
Here's the baseball glove when you were fifteen
and here is the last one...
a Dalmatian on a sled you were 18.
So many ornaments, so few years
all placed in your memory with love and tears.
We'll lovingly place our Joshua star
A symbol of our love for you.... a reminder to us,
wherever we are you'll always be
Our Brightest Star
Joshua my sweet Christmas bear,
You came to us all soft and new,
Dressed from head to toe in soft pale blue,
Your deep blue eyes sparkled with exictment,
As our hearts filled with love,
Five days before our 7th anniversary
Our dreams came true
Our Christmas Baby had come home.












"VISIT WITH LUKE"

Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross

"MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU"

Music playing:
FUR ELISE
(played at Luke's service because he loved playing this on the piano)