JULY 2010

Bringer of Light newsletter

Welcome to the very first edition of the

It is mid summer and JULY has arrived in all it's glory. School is out, children are at play, and family's are getting together for pic-nics and cook-outs. For many of us, there is someone very special missing at these get-togethers. That someone that makes our hearts beat a little faster.... is missing. That someone that causes teardrops to trickle down our faces.... is missing. That someone that we long to hold just once more.... is missing. But through the longing, and the tears, and the racing hearts.... we remember those wonderful days that were shared with this someone special. These special souls live on in all that is around us. Patiently they are watching, waiting, and hoping that we somehow realize that inside the love, inside the laughter, and inside the simple pleasures of everyday life.... there they are, shining through.

A few years after Luke died I began creating ANGEL FRIENDS PAGES and inviting parents that had suffered the same tragedy as I, to have their children represented on these pages. The pages began with just a few names, but now (sadly) include hundreds and hundreds of names of children that have died. These pages are shared monthly. You may access any of these ANGEL FRIENDS PAGES by clicking on the ANGEL FRIENDS button at the end of this newsletter.

I have had many poems and stories published in LIVING WITH LOSS magazine. It has been very exciting to see these poems and stories in magazines because of the honor that it has brought to LUKE, my BRINGER OF LIGHT.
The name LUCAS means

Find and be found to discover your..... BRINGER OF LIGHT.

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly

photo painting "A CANDLE FLICKERS" by Christine Ross


A candle flickers through the night
With a gentle peaceful glow,
As shadows dance upon the wall
And memories begin to flow.

Yesterday was full of sunshine
That somehow slipped away.
And all of those tomorrows
Illuminate another day.

But today there is a candle
That will flicker through the night
And shine upon a broken heart
With a peaceful angel light.

2010 Christine Ross
~Bringer of Light Poetry~


Bringer of Light newsletter

Welcome to the second edition of the

Summer is quietly coming to a close as August arrives with talk of last minute vacations, and school beginning soon. When we look back to the arrival of summer we are amazed at how the days just flew by. The days now, one day at at time, are beginning to get a little shorter. Morning dawns a little later, and the sun disappears beyond the horizon a little earlier. For many of us, as the sun sets in the west, it brings a sense of sadness, an awakening of memories, and the wish to somehow connect with those that have gone beyond the sunset. Watching the sunset we smile at the light that reminds us of special times, and then as the light slowly turns to darkness it reminds us that all things come to an end. But in the darkness, we look up.... and there in the night sky, as if saying "we are not gone", the stars twinkle with a reassuring light, reminding us that the light of those that have gone before us will shine forever.

Find and be found to discover your.....

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canvas painting "THE COWBOY'S LAST REQUEST" by Christine Ross


He rode beyond the mountains
On his horse towards the west.
He bowed his head in reverence
As he made his last request.....

"Let this wrangler's voice be heard
In the canyon winds that sing,
And let this cowpoke's spirit soar
On the tips of eagle's wings."

"And in the sun and in the moon
And in the prairie's starlight glow,
Let my light forever shine
Casting shadows of hope below."

"Let this bronco-buster's hat
Be my halo when I die,
While the boots on this ghost rider
Walk across the clouds on high."

"Round-up the ones who rode with me,
And the little buckaroos.
Help them all to understand
That this cowboy's ride is through."

"Please grant this last request of mine
As I quietly ride away,
Kicking up dust along the trail
To that place where I will stay."

.....Then he rode beyond the sunset,
His silhouette against the sky.
He tipped his hat and nodded
As he said his last goodbye.

2009 Christine Ross
~ Bringer Of Light Poetry ~


Bringer of Light newsletter

Welcome to the third edition of the

Here we are!!!!..... right in the middle of September, with only one more official week of summer left, although there is the feel of fall in the air. Ahh Autumn..... with its beautiful display of color, it's alluring fragrance swept in by the whispering winds, and it's first gentle chill of coming winter. Children are back in school, and the long awaited experience of summer is just a memory. The reflections of love, and fun, and excitement, and sadness still linger on in our hearts and in our minds as the days of summer fade.

I remember a remarkable September, when summer had barely faded away. Our 20 year old son, Luke, moved back home with us, with his Halloween birthday just around the corner, and for what would be his very last Autumn. He would soon be 21, the age that the world called him a man, but that I knew had already taken place awhile ago. Oh but having him back home was such a wonderful thing and a blessing that we will forever be grateful for. We welcomed the added "life" he brought into our house... that "life" that had quietened with both of our children living on their own. But now one of them was back, but briefly, and for the very last time.

We had an adorable little Basset Hound of 4 years old. As a family we had all taken a vote to name her when she was a puppy and the name BLUE was chosen because her little face looked so sad and blue. Never did we imagine how much sadness that sweet little dog would encounter.

Blue went everywhere with us, and she especially like to ride with Luke in the Jeep Wrangler with the top down and her Big Blue Dog ears flapping in the wind. When Luke would play his guitar he was always accompanied by Blue Dog howling to the sky. Luke and Blue had a very special relationship. Blue always knew ahead of time when Luke had turned off of the highway onto the desert road, headed for home. She would wait anxiously at the front door for Luke's arrival, even though his car was no where in site. I would say..."Luke must be coming home"..... So when Luke drove up I would open up the front door and she would bound down the sidewalk to greet him. As soon as they both got just inside the front door of the house Luke would drop to the floor and rub Blue's belly saying..."fat dog, fat dog".... and he would laugh while being swatted with that ever wagging tail of Blue's. When night time would arrive, Blue would sleep in Luke's bed with him, but she was so short she wasn't able to hop up there by herself, so he always gave her a little boost. Some mornings I would go in Luke's room and there he would be curled up in the corner of the bed, Blue sprawled out across the middle of the bed, one of our cats in the bed at Luke's head, and our other cat in the bed at Luke's feet. A sight my heart and mind will never forget.

When Luke died that spring, Blue found her a grieving spot right on top of a pile of Luke's laundry on the floor of his room. She slept there for days, and would not leave even to eat or drink. We had to hand feed her in that very spot. As the days passed we would slowly remove one piece of Luke's clothing at a time. Finally we were down to just one of Luke's favorite pieces of clothing, which we transferred to Blue's bed. She slept on that shirt for a year until we removed it and washed it and put it away with all of Luke's special things. Somehow Blue had learned how to sleep without Luke.

As the years passed Blue Dog became older, and weaker. But through it all she had a very special connection with Luke. We could say..."Where's Luke?" and old Blue Dog would turn her head towards Heaven and howl, and howl, and howl. She even made a special angel from heaven in the snow, a story that you can read in a link below.

Luke and Blue were both born on the 31st of the month (17 years apart). Luke and Blue both died in the the morning. Luke and Blue both died in the month of April (7 years apart). Luke and Blue both died from Bronchopneumonia. There is only one letter difference between the names Blue and Luke.

When that old dog died.... it hurt so much. She was a wonderful friend and a very special part of our family. She was also an amazing connection with Luke on the other side.

That shining light of Luke and Blue has been obscured only to eyes that are blinded by disbelief. The glow of their memory, the radiance of their spirit, and the luminous reflection of life will continually illuminate the distance from here to there, until one day we are bathed in that same Heavenly light of forever.

The light of summer may be fading, but the light of seasons to come will illuminate our path to those places that our mind chooses to visit. We may be surrounded by the darkness that comes with the sadness of someone gone on up ahead..... but if we look up ahead we will find the brightness of their spirit shining through, warming us with the radiant memories of a life well lived.

Find and be found to discover your..... BRINGER OF LIGHT.

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly

# 12 of published poems
SEPTEMBER 2010, Volume 25 No. 9
Bereavement Publications, Inc.




Their eyes meet in the distance
Both running fast towards the gate,
Knowing who is on the other side,
No longer do they have to wait.

Blue dog's eyes begin to sparkle.
There's the one she's missed so much.
Flying through that portal,
To that old familiar touch.

That old dog is full of energy,
Her tail wagging back and forth.
Jumping right into his arms
Just beyond that heavenly door.

It's like they'd never been apart,
Not even for a single day.
Old Blue dog is young again
And ready to run and play.

They walk together in the sunshine,
They nap together on the clouds,
He plays his guitar like old times
While Blue joins in and howls.

They've found that place in heaven
Where a boy and his dog can roam.
In the clouds are two sets of footprints.
At the end of that journey home.

2008 - Christine Ross
~Bringer of Light Poetry

In memory of Luke and Blue

September 2010, Volume 25 No. 9
Bereavement Publications, Inc.



Bringer of Light newsletter

Welcome to the

OCTOBER!!!! What a glorious time of the year with pumpkins, and leaves, and talk of trick-or-treating. There is a crispness in the air that says..."Winter's on it's way." The trees will soon be barren as the leaves tumble to the ground in the brisk October wind. The dying leaves possess a beauty that can only be captured in the minds of those that truly understand the meaning of their gracefulness as they drift slowly down. These leaves reminds us that although life does come to an end, it is reborn, just as the leaves are reborn when they grace that once barren tree in early spring.

Those that have gone on before us are alive in everything around us, although the sadness of their passing will remain with us all of our days. Their quieted voices can be heard in the whisper of the breeze as it carries those beautiful leaves to another place and time. Their hidden spirit can be seen as nature repaints the landscape in vivid colors that can only be appreciated from the depths of our souls. We can catch a scent of their unforgotten essence as we are engulfed in that fragrant October chill. Their faded warmth can be felt as the sunshine from a clear blue October sky radiates upon our skin, going beneath the surface, and warming our broken hearts. Once again we will be kissed from beyond with the taste of the cool gentle October rain upon our lips, delivering that awareness that life and love never really end. Then as night falls, our minds are flooded with the memories of all those past Octobers, as we gaze up at the soft halo of the moonlight reminding us that our angels have softly and gently "fallen" to the other side. Morning and springtime are somewhere, waiting for us all.

Yes, October may bring upon us thoughts of things that have come to an end, but October also brings upon us all of the memories, and the pleasures, and the love that can never, ever be swept away by the blowing wind, or frozen by the Autumn chill, because always... always... always... there will come a time when something around us resurrects the undying thoughts of those that have given our lives a whirlwind of... purpose, joy, and precious memories.

Find and be found to discover your..... BRINGER OF LIGHT.

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly


~ by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

October repaints the summer landscape.
A fragrant chill engulfs the air.
October possesses a keen sense of you.
In October... your presence is everywhere.

October winds gently carry your soul
As they whisper to me your sweet name.
October leaves fall to the ground once again
Proclaiming... "nothing ever stays the same".

October sky in a contrast of blue
Opens that door from beyond the clouds.
October sunshine warms my broken heart
Saying... "today no sadness allowed."

October moonlight displays a soft halo,
A likeness of the one that you wear.
October colors fill transparent eyes
Tinting... all of my waiting tears.

October nights with sedating memories
Of rock-a-bye baby to sleep.
October mornings awaken my mind
With dreams... that are mine forever to keep.

October resurrects secret pleasures,
Obsessions I'll always hold dear.
October possesses a keen sense of you.
In October... your presence is everywhere.

© 2008 - Christine Ross ~ Bringer Of Light Poetry
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


October and golden leaves are falling,
Drifting slowly to the ground in the wind.
It's Halloween, It's Luke's Birthday,
And he's twenty-one again.

With the changing of the trees around me,
There is a beauty in their dying leaves,
And if I listen really close,
His voice whispers in the breeze.

Like the trees that are barren in winter,
And are reborn again in early spring,
Luke's not gone no more than the trees.
He's alive in everything.

Light a candle on this Halloween night,
In honor of Lucas Christopher Ross.
He journeyed to a better place,
And he took that step across.

So every October when leaves are gold,
And tumbling to the ground in the wind,
Remember that it's Luke's Birthday,
And he's twenty-one again.

© 2001 - Christine Ross ~ Bringer of Light Poetry
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


Bringer of Light newsletter

Welcome to the

Thanksgiving is upon us!!!!! November arrived with the reminder of past holidays and family gatherings. We begin to wonder how we are going to make it through this holiday because someone very special is no longer sitting at that Thanksgiving table... at least not that we can see with our human eyes. The emptiness we feel is so overwhelming and the tears begin to flow. We also wonder... what we can really be thankful for? Our lives seem as empty as that empty chair. We long for the company of the person that belongs in that empty chair. Quietly and softly our minds return to the days of glowing eyes, sweet smiles, thoughtful kisses, amazing hugs, peaceful happiness, incredible laughs, and undying love. It is those wonderful memories that we will hold forever in the depth our hearts and forever in the corner of our minds. Although we cry, and although we mourn.... through all of the tears and pain......WE REMEMBER!!! We find ourselves crying in silence as we remember and we also find ourselves crying in screams. Someday we may find ourselves smiling, and not understanding how we can actually smile. Then someday we may find ourselves laughing as we gasp at the thought of being able to laugh out loud knowing who is absent from that chair. So... we find ourselves crying because we actually laughed. How could we possibly laugh? But through time and tears and understanding we begin to realize that... in our laugh we hear the laugh of our loved one, and in our smile we feel the smile of our loved one. As we stare at that empty chair, and as a tear rolls down our cheek we may be surprised that those cherished memories will surface, and our tears will glisten as they wet the lips of an unexpected, grateful smile on this day of thankfulness. Beneath the sorrow an unseen, gentle spirit reminds us of all the cherished memories that will forever and ever fill that chair... that is not really empty at all.

Find and be found to discover your..... BRINGER OF LIGHT.

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly


As I bow my weary head today
And I say my Thanksgiving prayer,
I look up across the table
And I see it... that empty chair.

Oh God, what can I be thankful for?
I miss that smile, I miss that kiss.
But I will try to be thankful
Though all I feel is emptiness.

Through the emptiness I am thankful
For all of those wonderful years.
The times we spent together.
The happiness, love, and tears.

I'm thankful for the memories
That drift through my mind from the past.
Those glowing eyes, those amazing hugs,
And that big incredible laugh.

I'm thankful for the things I've learned
From someone that really mattered,
Who taught me what's important,
Who always had room for laughter.

I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving day
My remaining family shares.
But most of all I'm thankful for...
All the things in that empty chair.

2001 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


Today, I cried
Because you died.

Today, I smiled
For just awhile.

Today, I laughed
And then I gasped.

Today, I cried
Because I laughed.

2003 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

November 2010, Volume 25 No. 11
Bereavement Publications, Inc.


Bringer of Light newsletter

Welcome to the

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!!! Oh what wonderful memories that one little verse evokes. Jingle bells still echo in my mind from those days I used to know. Many years ago when my children were little, just before bedtime on Christmas Eve, we would all go out in the back yard and look up into the cool winter sky hoping to get a glimpse of Santa Claus. But just before we all headed out the door I would slip a little jingle bell in my coat pocket and hold it tightly in my hand so it wouldn't make a sound. Then as we all stood staring up at the sky... I would lightly shake the bell and watch the amazement in my children's sparkling eyes. Luke would say exactly as I was hoping that he would..."Mommy, is that Santa Claus?" As the excitement built up in my heart, and the excitement built up in Emily and Luke's little smiles I would say.... "Yes, it is!!! We better all get in bed and cover up our heads, cause Santa Claus comes tonight." As we headed back towards the door I would shake the bell one more time and watch as those sweet little feet ran anxiously through the door, jumped in their beds, and covered up their heads.

Oh how I long for those days again. I hope that when I get to Heaven I will be able to relive all of those wonderful, happy, glorious days over and over and over. Now that would be H E A V E N... for me. But until that time, I will relish these precious memories.

I'm sure that we all have some special things that resurrect wonderful Christmas memories of days gone by. It may be the scent of a fresh pine tree, or the sight of a snow sprinkled Christmas wreath. It could be the peacefulness of little twinkle lights, or the reverence of a solemn manger scene. For some of us it is the excitement of a jolly old Santa Claus, or the hopefulness of magical reindeer. Others find comfort in shiny brass horns, or maybe the delight of bright red bows. The meaning of special Christmas ornaments, or the soft light of a single Christmas star may spark those cherished Christmas memories. The white fluffy feathers of angel wings, or the fragrance of delicate Christmas flowers remind us how fragile life is. And maybe, just maybe, the gentle sound of a simple little jingle bell.... will remind us of that happy life we used to know.

I still venture out every Christmas Eve as I have done for many, many years and I look up through the cool crisp winter air, beyond the trees at the wonder of the dark heavenly sky with my ears attuned, just hoping, by some magical Christmas miracle I will hear the faint jingle of that little bell sent from the other side, just for me, by my very own Christmas angel.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..... from Heaven!!!!

Find and be found to discover your..... BRINGER OF LIGHT.

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly


I took a walk on Christmas day
In the cool crisp winter air.
The trees bowed down before me
And they whispered in my ear.

"Walk lightly on the pathway.
Tip-toe quietly as you go.
Remember all the days gone by
Of the life you used to know."

Along the path were Christmas trees
And stars and angel wings,
Toys for little children
But no children could be seen.

Bright red bows and Christmas wreaths
And flowers all around,
Big brass horns and jingle bells
Although they made no sound.

Manger scenes and ornaments
And little twinkle lights,
Santa Clause and reindeer,
That didn't come last night.

Decorations everywhere,
It was Christmas at this place.
All was well until I felt
A teardrop on my face.

I walked lightly on the pathway.
I tip-toed quietly as I prayed.
Then I looked down and saw it...
His name upon his grave.

"It's Christmas", whispered all the trees
To the graveyard names below.
And I remembered days gone by
Of the life I used to know.

© 2009 - Christine Ross ~ Bringer of Light Poetry
In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Winter 2007, Volume 24 No. 4
Bereavement Publications, Inc.


Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross


Music playing:
(played at Luke's service because he loved playing this on his piano)