Bringer of Light newsletter

Welcome to the

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly


It was late October, the night was perfect outside but I was inside in a noisy & crowded room. As I looked out across the room, in the distance I saw this incredibly handsome man. Our eyes met and I ran over to him. I had never met this man before that night, but we hit it off perfectly. We spent hours upon hours together laughing at the silliest things. From that night on the more I got to know this incredible man, the more I loved him. Our love was something indescribable. We did so many things together.... movies, lunches, TV, shopping, laughing, joking, and we even had some very special heartfelt talks together. It was great! This went on for months.

On that amazing night that we met, when I ran up to him from across the room, I turned to him at the stroke of midnight and said...."Happy 21st birthday Luke." You see, my only son had become a man. It was the first time I had ever known him as a man. We were in Las Vegas at a casino and it was October 30th, 2000, just a few minutes before midnight. It would soon be Halloween, Luke's 21st birthday. Luke was sitting at a slot machine with his hand on the lever waiting for midnight. He was impatiently checking his watching anticipating that moment. When that moment happened I was standing right next to him along with his older sister and his Dad. When he pulled that lever we all cheered... "Happy 21st birthday Luke!" As a waitress passed, Luke stopped her and said..."I'd like a JD and coke, please." She looked suspiciously at him and said ..."Well, I need to see some ID." So with an exaggerated grin on his face, as he was reaching for his back pocket, he confidently said..."No problem." She looked at his ID and said..."You have only been 21 for a few minutes". Luke said..."That's right, and I would like a JD and coke, please." I can't even put into words the happiness I saw in his eyes and the happiness I felt for him. Oh what a wonderful night it was! He drank a little too much that night but 'what the heck', he was at his prime, he was a man, he was twenty-one, he was my son, and there was no way we were going to deny him his freedom that he had finally gained.

It was only a little over 5 months from that night when Luke died alone in his room from acute bronchopneumonia. For a few short months I got to know my son as a man, a privilege denied to many. I will forever have those wonderful memories of that awesome night when my boy became a man. When I close my eyes at midnight this October 30th the memory of that sensational grin will guide me into Halloween as I say for the fourteenth time since that Las Vegas Halloween night ....."HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY LUKE".

© 2014 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


October and golden leaves are falling,
Drifting slowly to the ground in the wind.
It's Halloween, It's Luke's Birthday,
And he's twenty-one again.

With the changing of the trees around me,
There is a beauty in their dying leaves,
And if I listen really close,
His voice whispers in the breeze.

Like the trees that are barren in winter,
And are reborn again in early spring,
Luke's not gone no more than the trees.
He's alive in everything.

Light a candle on this Halloween night,
In honor of Lucas Christopher Ross.
He journeyed to a better place,
And he took that step across.

So every October when leaves are golden,
And tumbling to the ground in the wind,
Remember that it's Luke's Birthday,
And he's twenty-one again.

© 2001 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Find and be found to discover your.....
The name LUCAS means Bringer of Light


"Time After Time" is a song written by American singer-songwriters Cyndi Lauper and Rob Hyman, and recorded by Lauper. It became Lauper's first #1 hit in the U.S.

The inspiration for the song came after both songwriters were going through similar things with their relationships. One of the first lines Rob wrote was "suitcase of memories". The song's title was inspired after Lauper started writing for the song and needed a fake title as a placeholder for the time being. Thus, Lauper was looking in the TV Guide and saw a lot of movie titles, with the 1979 science fiction movie Time After Time being chosen.

The song has been selected as one of the Best Love Songs of All Time by many media outlets. "Time After Time" was also nominated for a Grammy Award for Song of the Year at the 1985 edition.

The song is also known for its numerous covers by a wide range of artists, including Miles Davis and Eva Cassidy. Eva Marie Cassidy (February 2, 1963 – November 2, 1996) was an American vocalist and guitarist known for her interpretations of jazz, blues, folk, gospel, country, rock and pop classics. Although she had been honored by the Washington Area Music Association, she was virtually unknown outside her native Washington DC, when she died of melanoma in 1996 at the age of 33. Four years later, Cassidy's music was brought to the attention of British audiences. The chart success in the United Kingdom and Ireland led to increased recognition worldwide; her posthumously released recordings have sold more than ten million copies.



Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Turning in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Flashback to warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories,
Time after...

Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you have said
And you say go slow
I've fallen behind
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I will be waiting
Time after time
Time after time

After your picture fades and darkness has
Turned to grey
Watching through windows I'm wondering
If you're OK
And you say go slow
I've fallen behind
The drum beats out of time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I will be waiting
Time after time
Time after time

~ AS PERFORMED BY: Eva Cassidy
~ WORDS AND MUSIC BY: Cyndi Lauper and Rob Hyman


Adam R. Fiock, 26, 7-1-81 10-6-2007, Self inflicted wound to head

Amanda Nicole Curcio, 17, Oct. 17, 1989 - May 19, 2007, suicide by hanging

Barry Aitken, 20 years, 101084 3 12 2004, suicide

Jason Beau Morgan, 23, 07/31/1979 - 10/10/2002, Aneurysm


Cara Lee Parks Buras, 30, 9/9/1976 - 10/30/2006, Official Cause Accident

Chad Eric Day, 30, B - 10-17-72 D - 8-15-03, Seizure

Douglas Klein, 37, 4/9/74 - 10/11/11, Gunshot Right Temple

ELIZABETH LUTO, 27 years, 10 months, 9 Dec 1973 - 25 Oct 2001, pulmonary embolism 3 wks after successful open heart surgery

Grace Nicole Miceli, 20, October 27 th, 1984 - June 8 th, 2005, Accident

Jeffrey Michael Felix, 27 years old, 10-03-77 - 12-30-04, Malignant Melanoma

Jennifer DeGeneres ~ 42, October 16, 1969 - June 22, 2012 ~ Complications of Lupus

Jimmy Stokes, 21, October 30, 1979 - March 2, 2001, Accidental Overdose of Oxycontin

Jonathan Steven Witty, 16, 10-24-85 6-7-2002, car accident

Joshua Scott Johnson, 21 years old, 10/11/1985 - 04/01/2007, Accidental Drug Overdose

LCpl Justin Linscott, 18 years old, October 23, 1990 - July 11, 2009, Related to an auto accident (official)

Kenneth Michael Naturale, 25 yrs, 10/10/80 - 12/16/05

Laura Ann Kimble, 33, 11/5/68 - 10/19/02, Complications of non-malignant brain tumor

Lauren Niederer, 16, 10/12/87 - 05/5/04, Suicide

Laurie Michelle Baer, 16, 10/31/76 - 12/4/92, congenital heart defect

Leon Jr, 29, Feb.17 - 10-26-90, car crash

Lucas Christopher Ross, 21, October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001, Acute Bronchopneumonia

Michael D. Carico II, 39, 10/27/1963 - 11/27/2002, Killed by a red light runner

Rob Northrop aka RadRob, 26 years young, October .28, 1971 - December 23,1997, Leukemia

Robert Travis Miller, 19 yrs and 10 mths and 10 days, 11/29/1991 to 10/09/2011, murder~ shot in the back

Roseann Martinez, 36 years, 12-31-1972 to 10-6-2009, organ failure

Samantha Myers, 3 months 13 days old, Jul. 4, 1999 - Oct. 17, 1999, Heart Condition

Shannon David Burns, 33, 1/2/1976 - 10/30/2009, blunt force trauma to the head

SHELLY LYNN BEAM, 32, 10/03/1975--03/26/2008, drug overdos

Susan Ann Lansing, 25 yrs., 11-07-57 - 10-26-83, Auto Accident

Tracy Lee Cox, 30, 10/18/1974 - 11/28/2004, Suicide - Gunshot

Wayne Jonas, 28, Aug 19 - 10-26-90, car crash

IN MEMORY OF: Lucas Christopher Ross "Luke"
AGE: 21
DATES: October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
CAUSE: Acute Bronchopneumonia
SUBMITTED BY: Robin Ross, Luke's Dad


I was watching the sunrise one morning, and it was beautiful, and my memories immediately went to you and how beautiful you always said the Arizona sunsets were. I smiled with this memory. Then my mind went to your leaving, your sunset in this world, and the incredible sadness came back over me, and I cried. Then I thought of your sunrise, you rising from your earthly death, to be with GOD the father, and that your life is now eternal and that I will be with you again for eternity. I smiled knowing our future will bring us back together. Then I thought of how long it has been since I have seen you, touched you and hugged you. I hurt and I cried.

LUKE, it is so hard here without you. The world is a colder and darker place without your light and warmth. It is hard to go through this life without you, to feel all of these emotions, to laugh with the memories and cry with the reality of your leaving so soon, to see the sunrise and the sunset, all at the same time. Your birthday was a brilliantly bright day, as your death day was equally, or even more dark.

I love you so much LUKE, and I miss you. I will see you again, when I get to join you when my sunset comes, at the same time as my sunrise.


IN MEMORY OF: Jason "Beau" Morgan
AGE: 23 years
DATES: July 31, 1979 - October 10, 2002
CAUSE: Brain Aneurysm
SUBMITTED BY: Diane, Beau's Mom

Beau, I cannot believe that it will be 12 years since you left this world and went to the Heavenly Light on 10/10/02. It seems just like yesterday but at the same time like it just happened yesterday. I love and miss you so much! You were always such an inspiration to all your family and friends. You were the center of our family, and now the center is a hole in our hearts. You gave everyone unconditional love, made all who were with you laugh and feel so good being around you. I think of you everyday, when I see a bird, a PEACE sign, a song of memory, a small blond haired boy! You were my special son with your blond curly hair as a small boy up until the last day you were here on this Earth. I love you up the "Stairway to Heaven" and back, and it will be a grand day when I climb the "Stairway to Heaven" and see you again! You will forever be in my heart and soul. I love you always, Mommie

IN MEMORY OF: Jennifer DeGeneres
AGE: 42
DATES: October 16, 1969 - June 22, 2012
CAUSE: Complications of Lupus

In the arms of an angel......

IN MEMORY OF: Jonathan Steven Witty
AGE: 16
DATES: 10-24-85 6-7-2002
CAUSE: car accident

I lost my son in a car accident, He was only 16.He was our only child.He loved life.He loved all sports in school.He loved his family.There was always something special about Jonathan Seems like when he walked in a room it lit up,I've had so many people to tell me that.He was a wonderful child.We miss so very much,Our life has changed completely.The happiness we use to feel is gone.Our beautiful son light blue eyes, blonde hair.He was beatiful.He is our life we live for him till we can be together again.We love you son.

IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81. 10-6-2007
CAUSE: Self inflicted wound to head
SUBMITTED BY: Christine Knapp, Adam's proud mom of a soldier.

Dear Adam,

I am crying as I write this, Oct. 6th will be 7 years. My chest hurts just thinking about it.

I just don't believe it.

Know how much I love you and miss you.

Forever, until I see you again.

love, M♡M

DATES: APRIL 14TH, 1978 - OCTOBER 22ND, 2005

In peaceful spirit and love to you,
Carol Mom of Sweet Bryan 4/14/78-10/22/05
gsw to his handsome red haired head

I love and miss you so much Bryan

Mom to Andrea and her brother Bryan in Heaven
Mom to very much alive son Josh in Virginia
Grandma to Bryan's son Daniel C. in FL.
and Josh's son Bryan B. in MI.

"It will never change, Mom".
His last few words to me in reference to
not seeing and being with his son.
His son's mother and her father vindictive
because he broke up with her.

"If you won't stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them."
Supporting Our Troops 'til they all come home!

IN MEMORY OF: Shannon David Burns
AGE: 33
DATES: 1/2/1976 - 10/30/2009
CAUSE: head injury

Anniversary 5 years 10/30/2009

IN MEMORY OF: Laurie Michelle Baer
AGE: 16
DATES: 10-31-76 / 12-4-92
CAUSE: congenital heart defect
SUBMITTED BY: Shirley, Lauries Mommy

Laurie I love you so much. Every breath I take, every move I make, you are with me. I cant put my words into rhymes but this poem written by Doyle Alldredge says it all... I love you...


Laurie, Happy Birthday our precious dear
Oh how we wish you were here
I know you're with us in a special way
On this your special day

Our time together passed so fast
We thought your life would forever last
So young for a child to die
We still ask the questions why

As I look back in time I can truly see
Just how much you meant to me
Life wasn't easy for a child like you
But you never seemed to let it bother you

Though your heart was weak, it was always pure
It was always full of love that's for sure
Laurie you always saw the goodness in someone
And never did you wrong anyone

Safe inside the confines of my house I cry
Crying out to God, why oh why
The grief I feel overwhelms me
Please take the grief from me

Somewhere in time I may come to understand
I'm told this is part of the Almighty's plan
I'll never understand why a child has to die
When I reach Heaven I'll ask God why

I can only take life day by day
Praying for relief to pass my way
My world has changed and so have I
Just because my child has died

Written especially for Laurie by Doyle Alldredge

Thank you Doyle for writing such beautiful poems for our children. You are an angel on earth.

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Scott Johnson
AGE: 21
DATES: 10-11-1985-04-01-2007
CAUSE: Accidental Drug Overdose
SUBMITTED BY: Tammy Forever Joshs Mom

Happy Heavenly Birthday I miss you always and forever, Love you Mom

Make a dedication to your child for their anniversary and birthday.



May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright
Of soft and golden hue
Pierce through the future’s veil and show
What fate now holds for you.
~Author Unknown


Yes, life does seem to come full circle ~ Arlene Gundersen 2012


IN MEMORY OF: Adam R. Fiock
AGE: 26
DATES: 7-1-81 10-6-2007
CAUSE: Self inflicted GSWH
SUBMITTED BY: Christine Adam's M♡M

This quote is from a song; mentioned in a library book.

'"When my life is through,
And the angels ask me to recall
The thrill of them all
Then I shall tell them I remember you."'

Johnny Mercer and Victor Schertzinger
(Martha Grimes, " Vertigo 42")

Love you, Adam. It was fun knowing you.

Share a quote related to grief.


IN MEMORY OF: Robert Travis Miller
AGE: 19 and 10 months and 10 days
DATES: 11/29/1991-10/09/2011
CAUSE: murder

Dear son,
Do you know how much we miss you? how many tears we shed? how many times I search the sky for a glance of you? How my heart breaks more each day,I feel like I'm dying a little more each day,October 9th I hate this day cause that's when you left this world cause a lowlife shot you,how I wish I could turn back time and I was there to take the bullet instead of you :(,you had a whole life ahead of you,your little girl will know everything about how much you loved her I promise you that.I think of you every day,I hate the holidays when we take pictures,I wish you was here for them,every time i cook,bake,shop I always see something that reminds me of you, I'm trying to live life for your sisters and brother,my grandchildren,its so hard sometimes to smile so I put a mask on and pretend everything is ok,but it will never be ok again :(,I wish I could put into words how much I love and miss you but there is no word to say how much, I met a nice man and I believe you sent Tom to me, I Love you son to the moon and back and more,I just want you back son :(,I know you are with your grandpa Kenny and your uncle Kenny,I have some peace knowing they are there with you,you was always close to both of them,I got to go son for now,but I'll write you again soon,it breaks my heart just knowing I wont feel your hugs or see that crooked grin or those beautiful blue eyes :
( I miss the texts,the laughs and the monkey kisses..

Write a letter to your child in Heaven.


IN MEMORY OF: Laurie Michelle Baer
AGE: 16
DATES: 10-31-76; 12-4-92
CAUSE: congenital heart defect
SUBMITTED BY: Shirley, Lauries Mommy

The story of Laurie's birth

At the beginning of my pregnancy I was so very sick, with terrible terrible sick headaches, dizzy, couldn't walk. I tried to get a leave of absence but couldn't so I quit. Kept going to doc getting sticks stuck up my nose for sinus infection (ha!) for weeks and nothing helped. Then he finally decided to do pregnancy test and low and behold I was pregnant. Due date was November 7, 1976. I had been going to the same ob/gyn doctor since I was 21, and when I called to make an appointment, they told me he was in Africa for six months. My Luck. Had to go back to the regular internist who didn't think I was pregnant in the first place.

Well, anyway, Friday, October 29 at around noon while at work I got one of those terrible dizzy headaches, so bad that I had to go home. One of my bosses there, Norman, whom nobody else ever got along with but I always seemed to get along with people others couldn't get along with, anyway, he said he'd take me home. So he drove me from Galveston to Santa Fe and I immediately went to bed.

Next morning was better, Eddie went off to play golf or fly airplanes, I can't remember now, and I had to go to the grocery store myself. Those bag boys always put too many groceries in the bags so they were sooo heavy and I had to carry them from the car to the house. All of a sudden I felt something so called the doctor and of course another doctor was on call and told me my hymen plug had probably broken and I'd go into labor within 24 hours. So I tell Eddie this when he comes home and he just says "you're not gonna have that baby now, you're too early." So he goes to bed.

Around 10:45 PM my membranes ruptured, I got up called the doctor, he called back, I told him what happened, he asked me if I was in labor and of course I said "I don't know I've never been in labor before". I felt a few little twinges in my stomach, heck I didn't know. So he told me to get to the hospital fast. I tried to wake up Eddie to tell him, he said again "you're not gonna have that baby tonight" and wouldn't get up. So I had to call my sister and her husband to come over and they finally convinced him to get up.

Well, we had a 1976 Chevrolet Camaro, low to the ground, hated riding in it when I wasn't pregnant much less in labor. I had already gone and preregistered at the hospital so all I had to do was go to the ER when the time came. All during the pregnancy I told Eddie, "Now Eddie, remember, when I'm in labor and on the way to the hospital, DON'T take this bumpy road." Well, you guessed it! He took that darned road, the bumpiest road in Santa Fe, to get to the hospital. Then what does he do? Drive me up to the front door of the hospital expecting me to walk in. I said "No, take me to the E.R., they have to bring me a wheel chair". So he finally did that.

They wheeled me into the hospital, asked me why I was there and I told them and they couldn't believe I was in labor cause I was still laughing and joking. Put me in a room, pains about 3 ˝ minutes apart, they called my doctor and he said 'oh it's her first baby, it'll be a while yet." Duh! About an hour later I kept telling the nurses I had to go to the bathroom, I had to go to the bathroom, and they said, ' no that's the baby coming.' Took me into L&D and my doctor wasn't there yet of course cause he was like Eddie, didn't think I was going to have the baby today, Halloween. And of all Saturdays, the night you turned back the clock an hour. So I did my thing and the doc finally arrived just in time to catch the baby. All I knew to ask was 'does she have all her fingers and toes" and the nurse said she did. Didn't have pediatricians look over newborns way back when. Don't even know what time she was born, before the clock was turned back or after it was turned back.

Just know the next morning got up and showered and when they brought me the baby for the first time, she was so beautiful. I kept asking myself what in the world had I ever done to deserve such a precious beautiful baby girl. Of course she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. So about 8 am Sunday morning I called my boss, knowing that he slept in late on Sundays and told him what happened and he said "does that mean you won't be at work tomorrow?" Joking of course, or I thought so at the time. I filled out the name and stuff for her birth certificate, next day they said I hadn't done it yet so did it again. So had two birth certificates with her name spelled differently on each one. That Tuesday the peanut farmer was elected to President of the U.S. and I said 'who's he?"

Wednesday I took home the most precious thing on earth. She only weighed 5 lbs 10 oz, was 18" long. I was scared to death to hold her so I held her on a pillow. God had blessed me with an earthbound angel, Laurie Michelle Baer.

And you're right. Eddie took that same road back home, with all the ruts and holes in it. Some men just can't learn!

Shirley, Lauries Mommy

Share the story of your child's life, birth, death (any or all of these).


IN MEMORY OF: Shannon David Burns
AGE: 33
DATES: 1/2/1976 10/30/2009
CAUSE: head injury
SUBMITTED BY: Shannon's Mom

The Coming of October

I used to love the coming of October
Now it has a new meaning to all of us
Since you passed on, that October day
We all struggle on to find our way.

It has a different meaning to us now
As the days approach, I wonder how
We will make it through the day you died
October 30th, why oh why.

Each passing year comes and goes
And The one thing I would like to know
I wish I could erase that dreadful day
And have you back with us today

We live our lives as life goes on
We still can't help to think how this was wrong
5 years has passed since that mournful day
Where has it all gone?

We miss your smile, your love, your joy
We know you miss your sweet little boy
We will keep you dear within our hearts
And will keep your love alive always

So as you see, the coming of Fall
Has a different meaning to us all.

love you my Son!

Share a poem about your child or about grief.


IN MEMORY OF: Jason "Beau" Morgan
AGE: 23 years
DATES: July 31, 1979 - October 10, 2002
CAUSE: Brain Aneurysm
SUBMITTED BY: Diane, Beau's Mom

It was on Beau's Birthday, July 31st, that I received the most awesome sign from him. I was heading to my sister's house; we were going to the cemetery and do other things to honor him and celebrate his birthday. I was going down the street and came to a bank close to where my niece, Christa (my sister's daughter) works (her and Beau were very close, so it was also special that it happened near her work). A black car with dark tinted windows was trying to pull out of the bank, and there was a red light ahead at the intersection. The car ahead of me did not let the car out, but I stopped to let him out. I assumed it was a guy, because I could not see the person; this was because of the dark tinted window. When he pulled out in from of me, he stuck his hand high out of his window and waved the PEACE sign to me! He waved his hand giving me the peace sign back and forth more than once (it reminded me so much of Beau and I could feel his presence). No one has ever done this to me before and it was very unusual, since people just usually give a little wave. I felt esctactic knowing it was a sign from Beau! Beau, I thank you so much for sending me this most special sign to me on your Birthday. I love and miss you so much! and was so glad for you to be there for me on your Birthday! The PEACE sign is very special to me, because in just about every picture taking of Beau, he is giving the PEACE sign!

Share a sign from your child.


written or said by our children

IN MEMORY OF: Margo Mae Elizabeth Schwartz
AGE: 19 1/2
DATES: 1-11-95. 6-4-2014
CAUSE: Accidental Overdose
SUBMITTED BY: Dana Peterson
WRITTEN BY: Margo Mae Elizabeth Schwartz



Share anything written or spoken by your child.


IN MEMORY OF: Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE: 27
DATES: DOB 3/13/1984 - DOD 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY: his mother Mary Stenzel

Sean loved his "toys". He loved 4 wheeling and snowmobiling. When he was 3, Rick had found a small yellow gas 3 wheeler and we bought it for Sean. It had a cord that you would walk behind and if they went too fast, you would pull the cord and it would stop the motor. One time our little Sean took off very fast and Rick couldn't keep up and let the cord drop. Sean had fallen off the 3 wheeler and hurt himself. He would not get back on that until he was 4..but believe me he made use of his 3 wheeler for a few years until he grew out of it. Around that same time, we bought him a used Kitty Cat snowmobile. It was too difficult for him to ride it in the snow in our yard, so we took it out to Freeborn Lake several times. Sean really loved riding his small Kitty Cat on the lake. When he was 8, we had found a dirt bike, small motorcycle for him. Sean was always small, but he managed to ride that without any trouble. He would go non stop around and around the yard.

Share a special memory of your child at any age.


IN MEMORY OF: Dylan Ross
AGE: 36 years
DATES: 11/22/73 - 8/27/10
CAUSE: Pulmonary embolism
SUBMITTED BY: Mom (Rhonda)
WRITTEN BY: Richard Ross, Dylan's Cousin

Since Dylan died there are few things that touch my heart as much as being reminded that others love and miss him. My nephew and Dylan were best friends from the time they were toddlers. I'm not surprised that Dylan visited him in a dream and am so grateful that he shared it with me. He has graciously given me permission to share it here.

I had a dream several weeks ago. It really upset me when I woke up from it. There we were, on some lake, much alike the one where the camp is now. There was a place to launch the boat behind it, an elevated camp, similar to the one now, but much lower. And we were fishing, he an I, from a small aluminum boat, casting between cypress trees already turned red with the onset of the cooler weather. There was a slight fog on the water from the cool air. He had lost a good bit of weight, but still had just a little to lose. His signature goatee was entirely grey, and for some reason he grew the back of his hair ever so slightly, not enough to even be considered long, but longer than his normal haircut. Inside the camp was Uncle Terry, resting and watching TV. And we fished, in silence. And he had the biggest smile on his face. He was completely happy, on that lake, rod in hand, casting for the next fish worthy of being placed on the wall.

I woke up with tears streaming down my face and went to the bathroom so as not to wake Bridget. And I bawled. I cried until my eyes hurt. Until they were dry.

Those that know me well know that I am not outspokenly religious. I really couldn't tell you which religion suits me best. But I can tell you this with utmost certainty - that was a vision from Heaven.

Share a dream that you or someone had of your child.



IN MEMORY OF: Dylan Ross
AGE: 36 years
DATES: 11/22/1973 - 8/27/2010
CAUSE: Pulmonary embolism
SUBMITTED BY: Rhonda Ross, Dylan's Mom

From a very young age Dylan loved to make people laugh. So, I was not surprised when, shortly after his death, one of his former classmates reminisced about an incident that occurred during their high school days. In their school was a man by the name of Mr. Harrelson who was a teacher and also served as the school disciplinarian. So it was normal for Mr. Harrelson to be delayed from getting to his classroom due to his disciplinary duties. Apparently Dylan seized the opportunity on those occasions to entertain the class by impersonating Mr. Harrelson. One particular day as Dylan was entertaining the class Mr. Harrelson came in (unbeknown to Dylan) and observed his impersonation until his classmates signaled to Dylan that Mr. Harrelson was behind him. Fortunately for Dylan, Mr. Harrelson had a sense of humor!

Share a funny memory of your child at any age.


IN MEMORY OF: Christopher Neil Thomas
AGE: 16
DATES: 09/12/89 - 11/19/05
CAUSE: Truck wreck
SUBMITTED BY: Patsy loving mom of Christopher !!

Christopher was such a loving person and there is this one little boy that was probably 4 or 5 when Christopher became an angel. Christopher would always make time to play with him even though he was so much older.Last year I found out this child now in the 9th grade ask if he could wear Christopher's football number at his school. I was so proud of the fact that as young as he was, this child still remembered Christopher and refers to him as his hero!!! He's playing high school ball this year and was worried that he would not get the number!! The coaches understood the importance of that number and he very proudly wears # 74 for and in honor of my son!! What a tribute to my son and the kind of person he was. That sure makes this mama so very proud. Christopher's school retired his number but luckily this child goes to a different school and can wear it...

Share anything that makes you proud of your child.



IN MEMORY OF: Geoffrey Philip James Edwards
AGE: 18
DATES: 6 May 1984 - 22 May 2002
CAUSE: heroin overdose
SUBMITTED BY: Karen Lyn Jenkins

My son, Geoffrey P. Edwards, died 2 weeks after his 18th birthday. His "friend" gave him an overdose of heroin and then left our house. We were there in the house and this pain and sorrow we suffer could have been avoided had this fool told us Geoff was in distress. He didn't and we live with the consequences. The fool just left Geoff in serious trouble in his room.

We have a number of memorials for Geoff, a tree at his elementary school with a plaque and Geoff's name. A tree at the high school with a plaque and his name. I also have bumper stickers I give out with the heading "DRUGS KILL" and Geoff's picture and website address. We also had a bush outside our door that Geoff planted; however, it has died and must be replaced. I am going to replace it with a crepe myrtle in Geoff's memory. In this garden area is a beautiful memory stone with a beautiful adage on it. It ends with "I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again."

We also give Anti-Drug Presentations to young ones telling Geoff's story. We give out bumper stickers and pamphlets with Geoff's story to each student. We are very active in the Anti Drug Group: Crossroads; which teaches 5th/6th graders the dangers of drugs and alcohol. I have a tattoo of a Bird of Paradise with his name beneath it.

His room is as it was when he died. I clean it often but it is a spare bedroom with many of his pictures and things in it. I only go in there to clean; I can't bear to be in the room with its memories. Geoff put glow stars, planets and suns on his ceiling and it just hurts to know he is not there physically though I do feel him every so often. He tells me to stop mourning him that he is happy where he is. I hear him often especially when I cry for him. He is the light of my life and I was so grateful to have him in my life. He made my life whole and complete. Now, I feel so empty and my pain doesn't end. It has been 12 years and I thought it might be a little easier to cope with the fact of his death - it's not.

Anytime I donate to a charity, I donate in Geoff's name to keep his name and him alive. It has been a long, hard road I and other parents walk. It is never-ending and long and torturous I live and work and function but it is without the joy I once had. I live and function but it is without the glorious pleasure I once had. I wait for death; I don't seek it but I know my Geoff will be there to welcome me and I so look forward to seeing him again. Then I will give him a good kick in the pants and ask him "What the hell were you thinking?"

Share any way that you have memorialized your child.


Do you think our children that have died miss us? Explain
(see the news section and/or the submission page
for list of questions)

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/01
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
SUBMITTED BY: Arlene - Dan's Mom

I don't think our children in Heaven miss us. They are with us all the time. It's really something to think about. They are perfectly happy in Heaven. No pain, no tears, in peace. But I often wonder are they sad when we're sad? I KNOW they send signs. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind because I get them. But if we're not open to them, do our children get frustrated? Well, I think we'll be with them soon and then all our questions will be answered.

Arlene (Danny's Mom)

Share your answer to one of the questions about grief.
(See list of questions in the NEWS section and/or the SUBMISSIONS page.


IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/2001
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
SUBMITTED BY: Arlene (Danny's Mom)

I met Christine online. We were both members of Grieving Parents website, and became fast friends.

Then we met face to face at the GP retreat in Georgia. We both lost our sons. My son, Danny had died from lymphoma in Jan. 2001. And Christine's son, Luke died that same year, in April, of pneumonia.

We began getting "signs" from our boys. Some were just amazing and we had no doubt that our boys had met up in Heaven and together were assuring us that they were fine and became "fast friends", just as their Moms had become on earth.

Well, it's been 13 years since our boys have gone to their Heavenly home. Luke is a "constant" in my life. Both Christine and I have become like "family". Both families have met and visited. She & her husband, Robin have visited us in Jersey. And my husband Roger & I have visited them in Arizona. We've also met up with her daughter Emily & Emily's boyfriend Dave. We love the family and know we will always be part of each other's lives.

October 31st is Halloween and it is also Luke's birthday. All my children and grandchildren......know of Luke, and wish him a Happy Heavenly Birthday every year. As we will do this year. After they go trick or treating, they come here to "Grandma's" house and we have a real "treat"......birthday cake or cupcakes for Luke. They know he is "Uncle Danny's" best friend in Heaven. He will always be part of our family.


Danny's Mom

Share how you have been blessed at anytime in your life.



IN MEMORY OF: Cara Lee Parks Buras
AGE: 30
DATES: 9/9/1976 - 10/30/2006
CAUSE: Official Cause Accident
SUBMITTED BY: Elissa Smith Cara's Mom

Many times when I read the dedications and I want so much to tell the moms I read what they wrote and that I heard it with my heart. I was reading the story about Luke and his first year of school and his teacher and I saw Cara in my mind. I imagine all the moms see their own children as they read about Luke. I agree so much with their teacher's words, "Hold tightly to their precious memories; "ALL of them, for they create the total picture of Luke." Sometimes I feel sad because it seems like my memories are all I have and that its just not enough. Then I remember how grateful I am for Cara's life. I grieve and miss her every day. sometimes its very hard. I honestly believe I can say I treasure her life even more than I grieve her death. I read the dedications and noted that the child's crossing was many years ago and I was grateful to see that their moms are still loving and remembering. I think many of us are afraid our children will be forgotten, but they're not are they, not by us, not as long as we draw breath. When we too cross over it won't matter because we'll be with them. A joyful reunion awaits our arrival.

Elissa Smith Cara's Mom For Always

IN MEMORY OF: Christopher Ronald Faller
AGE: 7-1/2 yrs
DATES: 5/7/90 - 3/24/98
CAUSE: viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
SUBMITTED BY: Maria, Christopher's Mommy

Dear Christine - I read the letter from Emily and Luke's kindergarten teacher through tears. It also gave me the chills. What an amazing person she is! Of course, like you, we still have some of Christopher's school things that he made hanging up on our refrigerator. I agree with Terrie (Joey's mom), I try hard to never say goodbye to anyone. I am always saying "talk to you later" or something similar. Goodbye truly can be the hardest word to say, sigh. The Autograph song is beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with us as well.

love and hugs,


Christopher's mommy forever

Make a comment about somthing in this month's newsletter.


UPDATED ANGELS SECTION: The last section in the newsletter has been updated to the BLESSINGS section. This is where you can share any blessings that you have received at anytime in your life.

UPDATED QUESTIONS SECTION: The QUESTIONS section has been updated to include a list of questions to choose from. You may answer any or as many of the questions that you want to. The list of questions will always be available in the NEWS section and also on the SUBMISSIONS page. When submitting please be sure to include the number of the question that you are answering.

FYI: You may submit for any of the sections up to a year in advance. You may want to submit in advance to reserve sections for your child's birth month and anniversary month. Just go to the submissions page, complete the form, and please include the month that you would like your submission to appear.

UPDATED GRAPHICS: The newsletter will now have monthly themed graphics for each section.



1. What do you think Heaven is like?

2. Based on your personal experience what would you say to someone that has just lost their child and what hope could you give them?

3. How long has your child been gone physically and how long does it seem like your child has been gone? Explain

4. Do you feel as if your child has been forgotten by some family members and friends? Explain

5. Do you think our children that have died miss us? Explain

6. How has the death of your child changed you?

7. If you could choose to relive any day that you spent with your child, what day would you choose and why?

8. How would you define the grief that is felt with the loss of a child?

9. How has your life changed between the day your child died and now?

10. Does your child communicate with you from the other side? Explain


If you have ever made a submission to the Bringer of Light Newsletter or if you have provided your child's information, your child's name should appear at the top of the Dedications Section when it is their anniversary or birthday. If you have not provided your child's information you may do so by replying to the BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER email (please type INFORMATION in the subject line). You may also write a dedication to be included below the section names for your child's special dates.

Impressionistic Enchantment

This beautiful video was created by Dale Tucker, grieving brother of Dennis Tucker (1960 - 1986), and son of Dolores Tucker. Dale filmed this in the beautiful Berkshires of Western Massachusetts October 27, 2013. You are invited to find peace in the beautiful Autumn scenery and relax to the comforting music ("Veni O Bella" - Barbara Furtuna "Eternity and a Day" - Eleni Karaindroe "Si Vita Si" - Barbara Furtuna).

Dale said: I hope as ever, this presentation will touch hearts, stir memories and ease sadness bringing comfort!

Click on the link below to view this presentation. Be sure to turn up your volume and maximize your screen. After viewing click your back button to return to the newsletter.

Special thanks for Bringer of Light Newsletter submissions this month:

Robin Ross, Luke's Dad
Diane, Beau's Mom
June, Jonathan's Mom
Christine Knapp, Adam's proud mom of a soldier
Carol Adrian
Christine, Shannon's Mom
Shirley, Laurie's Mommy
Tammy, Forever Josh's Mom
Arlene Gundersen, Dan's Mom
Travis' Mom
Dana Peterson
Sean's Mother Mary Stenzel
Rhonda Ross, Dylan's Mom
Richard Ross, Dylan's Cousin
Patsy, loving mom of Christopher
Karen Lyn Jenkins
Elissa Smith, Cara's Mom
Maria, Christopher's Mommy
Dale Tucker, Dennis Tucker's Brother

Thanks also for all of the wonderful submissions that will be featured in an upcoming Bringer of Light newsletter. Those who submitted will be notified when their submission will be included in the newsletter and also which month it will be featured in. Everyone is encouraged to make submissions for ANY of the catagories. You may do so by clicking on the 'submit button' below:

Music playing:


In honor of our children please click on the links below:

If you are not on the mailing list already and you would like to receive the free monthly BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER, just complete the form below:

Your email address?

If your submission has appeared in a past Bringer of Light Newsletter, it may also appear again as an Encore Presentation.

Submissions are needed for many of the Bringer of Light Newsletter sections. YOU MAY SUBMIT UP TO A YEAR IN ADVANCE (just be sure to include the month your submission is for). Submissions are placed in the order that they are received and/or for a relevant month. Your submissions are the essence of the newsletter. So start typing and send in those submissions ASAP! Please go to the link below the section list to see a chart of available sections.

DEDICATIONS: Make a dedication to your child for their anniversary of birthday.

QUOTES: Share a quote relating to grief.

LETTERS TO HEAVEN: Write a letter to your child in Heaven.

LIFE STORY: Share the story of your child's life, your child's birth, your child's death, or all of these.

POETRY: Share a poem about your grief or your child.

SIGNS FROM THE OTHER SIDE: Share a sign that you or someone else received from your child.

IN THEIR OWN WORDS: Share a story, poem, quote, or anything written or spoken by your child.

MEMORIES: Share a special memory that you or someone else has of your child at any age.

DREAMS: Share a dream that you or someone else had of your child.

HUMOR: Share a funny memory you or someone else has of your child at any age.

PRIDE: Share an achievement, talent, unique characteristic, or anything that makes you proud of your child.

MEMORIALS: Share any way that you have memorialized your child.

QUESTION: Share your answer to one of the questions about grief.
(See list of questions in the NEWS section and/or the SUBMISSIONS page.

BLESSINGS: Share how you have been blessed at anytime in your life.

COMMENTS: Share a comment that you may have for any of the sections in the Bringer of Light newsletter. CHART FOR AVAILABLE SECTIONS:

When you enter the SUBMISSION PAGE there is a chart that will show the available sections so that you will know what is available to submit. The cart represents an entire year. You are invited to submit to any of the available sections and for any month. You may see the chart by clicking on the button below:



We would love to hear all about your child, or your grief, or your comments. You can participate in the BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER by submitting to the above sections.


Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross