Bringer of Light Newsletter

Welcome to the

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly


This will be the very last BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER. There are many reasons why the newsletter will be laid to rest, but I guess most of all, I am very tired. On April 3, Luke will have been gone from this earth for 15 years.... Something I never thought I would still be alive to say. In those early years I truly believed that I would not live very much longer, but here I am 15 years later. There is no explanation as to why I am alive and my son is dead. I have gone over it all, no less than a million times, in my head but the answer is always the same.... There is nothing that I can do about it.

In the past 15 years I have gained so much knowledge that I never wanted to gain. I'm so good at so many things now... like crying, screaming, cursing, hiding, but most of all I have become an expert at living with this unbelievable pain.

I am overwhelmed with sadness but also so happy that I had the privilege of knowing and loving such a wonderful little boy who grew up to be an extraordinary man. I miss my Luke so much...... The pain never ends, the years go on, and time drags and moves like lightning all at the same time. Grief is very mysterious and confusing. I was 47 years old when Luke died, I now am 62. I look in the mirror and I see the age in my face and the sorrow in my eyes. That sparkle I had at 47 has never returned. The years of grief, I feel, have aged me much more than normal. If Luke were here, I would have that sparkle in my eyes, that sparkle that will return when my journey here is done and I see my beloved Luke again. That day is getting closer..... for all of us.

All of you and your wonderful children have been my hope and inspiration for so many years. It has been an honor and a pleasure to get to know you and especially your sweet children. I have been amazed at the sad, sweet, funny, and touching stories that so many of you have shared. I love all of you and I love your children who have touched my heart with comfort and peace at times when I needed it the most.

Thanks to all of you who have participated by sharing your children with all of us. Thanks also to all of you who read the newsletter. I am hoping that through the last, almost six, years some of you were also touched by reading the newsletter and learning about someone elses child. It was always my wish that the newsletter brought comfort and understanding.

All of the submissions that were scheduled for this month and for future months are ALL in this very last newsletter. All of the newsletters from the past six years will always be available on Luke's website. Also all of the Angel Friends pages from the past 13 years can be accessed on Luke's website.

Life is full of changes, and this one is a very big change for me. I will miss all of you and I will never forget your children. I hope that you will think of me and Luke from time to time and remember us in your prayers.

May God be with all of you as you continue on this journey. I'll see you and your children on the other side. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.....


Christine, Luke's Mom

© 2016 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Lucas Christopher Ross "Luke"
October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
Acute Bronchopneumonia


I'm so tired of crying
because you're in another place.
I'm so tired of drying
all these tears upon my face.

I'm so tired of denying
that you're gone away from here.
I'm so tired of implying
that your spirit is very near.

I'm so tired of trying
to understand this awful pain.
I'm so tired of occupying
that place that keeps me sane.

I'm so tired of dying
over and over every day.
I'm so tired of sighing
knowing nothing is okay.

I'm so tired of buying
things you'll never get use.
I'm so tired of shying
away from what I know is true.

I'm so tired of prying
for answers from my lonely soul.
I'm so tired of eying
all that used to make me whole.

I'm so tired of lying
to myself to make it through.
I'm so tired of spying
into dreams to hear from you.

I'm so tired of purifying
thoughtless things that others say.
I'm so tired of supplying
no reason why you went away.

I'm so tired of crying
because you're in another place.
I'm so tired of drying
all these tears upon my face.

© 2005 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


I'm getting good at crying
In the middle of the night.
And I'm getting good at lying
Saying... "Everything's alright".

I'm getting good at listening
When it seems no one is there.
And I'm getting good at wishing
For... no more pain to bear.

I'm getting good at burning
Special candles on his case.
And I'm getting good at yearning
For him to come back to this place.

I'm getting good at missing
All the things he used to say.
And I'm getting good at kissing,
His cold urn throughout the day.

I'm getting good at cussing
Everything that has gone wrong.
And I'm getting good at fussing
Because he's been away too long.

I'm getting good at walking
To the door though he's not there.
And I'm getting good at talking
To what seems to be the air.

I'm getting good at dreaming
That he really didn't die.
And I'm getting good at screaming
His name up into the sky.

I'm getting good at hoping
That my time is over soon.
And I'm getting good at coping
With this open stabbing wound.

I'm getting good at hiding
All this pain within my heart.
And I'm getting good at biding
All this time that we're apart.

I'm getting good at waiting
For his calls that never come.
And I'm getting good at hating
All the things that I've become.

I'm getting good at believing...
That this life on earth is sad.
But I'm getting good at grieving
So... I guess I should be glad.

I'm getting good at knowing
Things don't always turn out right.
But He's getting good at showing
That he's still here in my life.

© 2004 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


I wish you could have known me
When my son was still alive.
The way I always had a smile
And a sparkle in my eyes.

I wish you could have known me
When my life was full of joy.
Back when I had everything,
Especially my boy.

I wish you could have known me
Before my sweet son died.
I wish I could have known you too
When your child was still alive.

© 2005 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Find and be found to discover your.....
The name LUCAS means Bringer of Light


Oh we never know where life will take us
I know it's just a ride on the wheel
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel

So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
It's okay now
Goodbye my friend

I've seen a lot things that make me crazy
And I guess I held on to you
We could've run away and left well maybe
But it wasn't time and we both knew

So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the love you gave me through all the years
Will take away these tears
I'm okay now
Goodbye my friend

Life's so fragile and love's so pure
We can't hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we never know why

But I'm okay now
Goodbye my friend
You can go now
Goodbye my friend

~ AS PERFORMED BY: Linda Ronstadt
~ WORDS AND MUSIC BY: Karla Bonoff



This page will remain on Luke's website and may be visited at any time.

These pages will remain on Luke's website and may be visited at any time.




Adam R. Fiock
July 1, 1981 October 6, 2007
Self inflicted wound
Christine Adam's M♡M

I love you with my heart (I carry you in my heart) ~ e e cummings

"A child is the only treasure you can take to heaven." "When you love a child"..."you're at the mercy of your heart." After The Storm ( a mystery) Linda Castillo

The heart is the only broken machine that keeps working.

Although I can't watch or listen to the National Anthem, I am very, very proud of my soldier, Adam.

Their mission was military police. Whenever they dropped off guns, he had to chart a way back as to avoid the enemy.

Everyone from his large group >150, came back, which is not the norm.

I know he helps every soldier who passes over.

Brandon Wesley Sgaggero
April 7, 1978 - March 6, 2008
narcotic intoxication
Tammie Sgaggero-Brandon's Mom

Dear Brandon,

Your birthday will be soon and you will be 37. Just a 13 months younger than your oldest brother. And now your sister and youngest brother have surpassed you in earthly years. That was the hardest part for me when you left.....knowing that they would someday, be your age.

On your birthday, I will do as I always have. This year, unlike last, I will do it alone again. I like it better that way. Ma and Brandon day.

I wish you all the love I can give you now, all the love I ever gave you, and all the love I wish I had given you.

Happy Birthday my child.


Clinton Terry Milam
10 yrs 4 mos
April 7, 1993 - August 5, 2003
Traumatic brain injury result of vehicular accident
Susan Milam

Happy Birthday sweetheart! I can't believe it's been 22 years since I first held you in my arms and marveled at the miracle that was you. I would give anything in the world to have you here for your birthday to celebrate with you and give you lots of birthday hugs! I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you until the end of time. Happy Birthday!!! Love, Mom and Dad

April 7, 1993 was one of the happiest days of my life. That's the day my son, Clint, was born. He was beautiful and perfect. His dad was delighted, his sisters were delighted and I was delighted. For the next 10 yrs. Clint was the center of our world. He brought incalculable amounts of love and joy to our lives. I just couldn't wait to see the man Clint would be one day. He had dreams and aspirations already at such a young age. He wanted to be a scientist. He wanted to go the University of Florida. I have a feeling he would have achieved every goal and dream he had, and more. April 7, 2014 is Clint's 21st birthday. The day he should have become a man. Happy Birthday my sweet Clint!

IN MEMORY OF: Jennifer Ann Robinson
AGE: 31
DATES: 4-23-75 3-9-07
CAUSE: accidential overdose
WRITTEN BY: Patricia Robinson

: Happy Birthday to our beautiful baby girl born 4-23-75 and known from that day on as "Sweet Jenny", lover of all children, animals and most of all family. The balloons will fly, the flowers will be placed around you and as we sing tears will flow as the memory of your birth overcome us. We miss you Jen.

Joshua Scott Johnson
October 11-1985-April 1-2007
Accidental Drug Overdose
Tammy forever Joshs mom

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. Love and miss you daily. Love Mom

It has been six years my heart hurts as much today as it did then, miss you like crazy everyday. would give any thing to have just one more day. love and miss you Mom

I cannot believe it has been 7 years already, at times cannot believe I am still here, miss you every second of the day everyday.My hope in this life is that I will see you in my next. Love and miss you with every inch of my begin. Mom

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. Love and miss you daily. Love Mom

Lucas Christopher Ross
October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
Acute Bronchopneumonia
Robin Ross, Luke's Dad


I miss you so much, after 14 years the pain still comes, the emptiness is still here, the confusion is constant and the wishing things were different never stops. While you here you were always teaching me things, things about life, things about caring, things about understanding, you amazed me with your wisdom.

Since you left, you are still teaching me things. You brought me into a world that I could never imagine, and I still do not understand. An existence of unbearable pain that is never ending and is greater than the human body can stand or the sole can bear. You brought me into the spirit world, unimaginable to me before, into knowing there is life after death, not wondering and hoping, any more. You have shown me that your life now, is a life of freedom, a life that continues after this one, one of beauty beyond my comprehension, where all suffering and pain disappears, where only joy exists, for you there, and you know we will all join you when our time comes. So you don't worry about us, you know we are coming in the blink of an eye. But here, it seems like forever since I saw you. I know that I hear you, feel you and see you, receive your signs, all from the other side of life, the other side of death. The veil that separates us is so thin, and you have taught me to be able to peek through that veil, and that you can cross through it, ever so briefly, just long enough for you and I to make contact so that I can see and feel you in your life. The afterlife, as it is called from this side, but from your side I suppose this here on earth, is the before life. You have taught me that you are there, and you are here too, and there is a very small space between us.

I am looking forward to completing my work here and joining you when my time comes. We will be a family again, forever, where there is no time to keep up with, and no time to run out.

Thank you LUKE for teaching me the most important things that I have ever learned, the understanding of love and life, the before life and your life now.

I love you LUKE, more than this life, and I miss you more than I can explain, but your staying close and continuing to teach me, makes it so that I can continue on, until the end of this journey.

See you soon, LUKE.

Love Dad

It is late at night and I am thinking of you, crying and smiling at the same time. Me and mom cried together today, missing you, as always. It has been so long since you left, but when the pain comes, it is still raw, it hurts so deep. I know you are Ok and we will be together again, but the waiting is so hard. Thank you for all of the wonderful memories you gave me, I hold to those memories every day. Thank you for all the signs you send to allow us to go beyond faith, to fact that you are everything you always were and our love is eternal, and you are with GOD and you and HE are waiting for me when my time comes. I look forward to that time and my journey to the next life, to your life. Please come to visit, to let us smile and cry and know that through the sadness, an eternity beyond our imagination is waiting. I love you and I miss you LUKE,

It has been 12 years since you went to heaven LUKE. Your memories stay with me, but so does the pain. I miss you so much LUKE, and will see you soon.

Cerridwyn "Kerry" Maire Ursula Brigid Roseanne Lujan
19 years and 3 days
May 17, 1989 - May 20 2008
Double hit and run

Kerry has a roadside memorial:


Christian Victoria (Chrissie) Carrigan
15 yrs. 22 days
11-14-1986 to 12-06-2001

One thing that Chrissie always said was "Save the Buffalo's" and Coolies.

Mom of Chrissie
11-14-1986 to 12-06-2001

Christopher Ronald Faller
7-1/2 years
May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
Maria, Christopher's mommy forever

"Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color." ~ W.S. Merwin

“Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath. That's just how it is. Grief and love are conjoined, you don't get one without the other. " ― Jandy Nelson, The Sky is Everywhere

"Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color." ~ W.S. Merwin

“Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath. That's just how it is. Grief and love are conjoined, you don't get one without the other. " ― Jandy Nelson, The Sky is Everywhere

"There is, I am convinced, no picture that conveys in all its dreadfulness, a vision of sorrow, despairing, remediless, supreme. If I could paint such a picture, the canvas would show only a woman looking down at her empty arms." -Charlotte Brontë

“Through you, I will live . . . Though my heart may soon stop beating, I fear not, my darling...Through you, I will live My eyes may soon close forever, but I do not fear the darkness. Through you, I will see I may soon take my final breath, but no sorrow shall accompany it. Through you, I will breathe. You will feel me in the sun that warms your skin, the wind that blows through your hair, and the beating of your heart. I will be with you every step that you take, every dance that you dance, and every tear that you cry. Through you, I will live Love with everything you have...I didn’t want to leave you; I did everything I could to stay. Though I will leave this earth in body, my spirit will remain. My heart will still beat, my eyes will still see, and my lungs will still breathe, because through you, I will live.” ― Aimee Nicole Walker

When Christopher was in kindergarten, my Aunt Mary invited us to go to lunch one afternoon, along with my Mom. I was driving, and we were on our way to Red Lobster, as that was one of my Aunt Mary's most favorite restaurants. Christopher was all excited, as he loved to have an "eat-out" which was his name for going out to eat. On our way, my Aunt Mary asked me to stop at an ATM machine, so that she could get some money. She always insisted on paying for everyone! So we pulled up to our local bank's drive-thru ATM. I told Christopher that he could use Aunt Mary's card in the machine to get the money. He was in total shock when he put the card in, and the money came down the chute. He exclaimed, "I have to get me one of these cards!" Out of the mouths of babes! I miss Christopher, my Mom and my Aunt Mary, as they are all together in Heaven. I hope that they enjoy many "eat-outs" together!

"Christopher loved building with Legos so much that he was known as 'The LegoKid.' To honor Christopher, the Lego Company has named the figure called Chris Com Link for him. To quote from the letter that the Lego company sent to Christopher's family -- "The guiding principal of our Company since it was founded has always been, 'Only the Best is Good Enough.' Christopher's story is a wonderful testimonial that our efforts are worthwhile. We will explore opportunities to share it with employees throughout the Company. To acknowledge Christopher's special fondness for LEGO products, we will display his photograph in the Maniac Madness section of the July issue of the LEGO Mania Magazine. Also, a new mini-figure character, within the New PossiBuildities section, will be named after Christopher."

Happy Birthday, sweet Angel Christopher,
Twenty-six years ago today
you were sent to us as a special gift,
But we didn't know that you could not stay.

I held you in my arms,
And you held all of our love in your heart.
We only got the chance to hold you for seven short years,
Then our world was torn apart.

I remember your birthday in earlier years,
Filled with joy and not with tears.
With many smiles and laughter too,
Your seven birthdays here we celebrated with you.

But now your birthday is a sad time,
Your laughter we hear no more.
But I know we would see your happy face
If we could see you today through Heaven's door.

So today on your 26th birthday we gather together
With balloons at your final resting place,
And with such sorrow in our hearts
And tears on our faces.

We send up to Heaven
These balloons filled with our love,
And I imagine you reaching down
And catching them in Heaven above.

Today you celebrate another birthday
In that beautiful place called heaven,
But we will always celebrate the day
That God sent us an angel, who sadly is forever seven.

In Loving memory of Christopher Ronald Faller
May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
With all of our love on your 25th Birthday,
Mommy, Daddy, Rachel and Mark

Christopher Hodge
03 09 77-03 03 94
Car Accident

March 8, 2016

My dear fellow bereaved parents. This year marks 22 years since my only child Chris passed in an auto accident. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him or miss him. It seems the longer this grief journey is, the more I long for his presence. When Chris died, my life as I knew it died too. I’ve had to make a new “normal” to survive. I was 39 years old when I lost him. I’ll be 62 this year. I’m retired now. Chris’ dad will retire in a couple of months too. With Chris dying so young, I did not get to experience him graduating from high school, getting his first job, getting married or having children of his own. I miss him the most during holidays, his birthday & when the school year starts. When I hear a certain song that he liked, it takes my breath away. But I am functioning a whole lot better than I did in the beginning. I can now laugh without feeling guilty & think of all the good times we had together instead of how he died. Although Chris wasn’t on this Earth very long, he left a lasting impact on every person he met. I believe one day I’ll be reunited with my beloved Chris. Until that day comes, I’ve made a pledge with him that I would live the best life I can while I’m on this Earth.

With love & care,

Liz Hodge, mother of Christopher Michael Hodge, 3.9.77-3.3.94

Courtney Coin
07 28 88 - 11 08 11
Robin Coin


Car Decal
License Plate

Daniel Scott Forrester
2/28/70 ~ 1/10/01
Arlene (Danny's Mom)

Danny was born Feb. 28th 1970.

Danny always seemed to be THAT child who would make his family proud. When he was in 3rd grade, and played the LION in the Wizard of Oz (school play), he was fabulous. He played that role with all his heart. He received a standing ovation, with whistles and "hoots" from the audience. WE WERE SO PROUD.

However - my proudest moments - were the things he did when he was ill. One time when he was in the hospital - the lady in the next room was dying, and no one was with her. Danny - in the middle of the night, went and sat with her and held her hand until she took her last breath. (the next day - the nurse told me this). And when Danny was in N.Y.U. Hospital, many times, when I visited him, he would say "Mom, the kid a couple room down is really sick, no family comes to visit him, please go spend some time with him and give him some encouragement". He would always seem to meet a patient that "needed" more then him and did what he could to help. I couldn't have been MORE proud. I'm sure the Lord was proud also.

Shortly after Danny went to Heaven, I started getting undeniable signs. They were meant for ME. When I would tell my son, Eric that I got a sign, he would "pacify" me with a smile and a hug. One day I was opening the mail and I got a card from my sister-in-law, Michele. She was very close to Danny. (N.Y. Port Authority police chief). I opened the card and a mechanical butterfly flew out. It was twisted on a wire so when anyone opened the card it would 'unwind' and "fly" out. As I was opening it, my son came down the stairs - he was going out. I showed him the card and he gave me a hug and left. Several minutes later he came back into the house. "Mom, I never really believed you about Danny sending you signs.....BUT.....I'm believing !!! I just got into my car and started it.....and there's a BUTTERFLY flying around IN my car !!!" How could that be? The windows weren't open. And you JUST showed me that card from Aunt Michele. WEIRD, huh? BUT I'm saying a big "HI" to Danny. " Off he went and I watched him open the door to his car and let the butterfly out.

LUKE ROSS - began his journey to his eternal home. Although I never met Luke here on earth, I have over the years - learned so much about him from his family....he has now become "family" to me. And without a doubt, he is MY son's (Dan Forrester) BEST friend in Heaven. I truly believe they put their heads together and send the most amazing signs to BOTH families. I was fortunate to meet Luke's family. First his Mom, Christine, at one of Karyl's GP retreats in Georgia. We immediately connected and have since visited each other's homes. Her daughter Emily and husband Dave visited us when we were vacationing in Pa. What a joy it was. So we REALLY feel like part of the family. Both our boys passed from this life - the same year. So hard to believe 15 years have passed. I believe they are in Paradise with their Heavenly Father - surrounded by all their loving family & friends that have passed......and their pets (both boys LOVED their pets). So - Luke, we will be thinking of you, as we do every year, and sending you special thoughts, and lighting our "memorial candle" in your honor. Also, sending our "loving thoughts" to Christine & Robin, Emily & Dave. You have so many wonderful memories of Luke. Hold them tight within your hearts. KNOW YOU ARE LOVED.

My birthday is April 5th. Our family always got together on our "birthdays". One year, Danny, who at the time lived in New York City, came home to celebrate my birthday. All the kids were here and every year they all chipped in to get me a gift certificate for my favorite restaurant. I always told them "don't get me anything" I have everything I need. So, that year was no different. They got me the gift certificate. BUT DANNY, being Danny, walked in the house with this HUGE plant (elephant ears). It took up half the living room. No clue how he ever got it in his JEEP CHEROKEE, but he did. All the kids rolled their eyes at their brother who always tried to out-do them. LOL He just "rolled his eyes" right back at them.....and we all had a good laugh. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'll be thinking of you Danny....on my birthday, and smiling at all your antics which gave us all a laugh. (you are SO loved and missed). Send me a great sign !!! X X X ( ) ( ) ( )


May the showers in our hearts, bring way
to our "flowers" in Heaven, turning our
tears of grief into smiles of remembering
happy times. Till we see them again.

Thinking of all the grieving parents and
praying this month, when all things "come to life",
our hearts will lighten as we hear the birds singing
and the flowers blooming. God's blessings to all.

Arlene (Danny's Forever Mom)

Gerald T. "J.J. Hill Jr.
February 10th. 1982-May 28th. 2007
single car accident
Shelly Davis-Hill

What do you think Heaven is like?

I was brought up Catholic and went to a Catholic School. Need I state more. When my Angel Son, I meet again, I Pray He's the first one I see so I can hold him ever so very tight & never, ever let him go. Never, ever again...

How long has your child been gone physically and how long does it seem like your child has been gone? Explain

My Angel has been an Angel for just Over 91/2 Yrs. but it seems just Like Yesterday & will do so until the Day I Die...

Do you feel as if your child has been forgotten by some family members and friends? Explain

Yes my Angel has been forgotten, not by my immediate family, but by FORMER family like a Sister that didn't Forget about Him but said hurtful words. Word's of the Unimaginable....

Do you think our children that have died miss us? Explain

Yes, I Think Our Angel's Miss us. I can just Feel it & do believe Some even Want Us w/Them as I feel that too. Not by Suicide Neither. I would Never do such a Thing as I know my Angel want's me to Live Life to it's Fullest w/What Yrs. I've Left...

How has the death of your child changed you?

Ha! In All due Respect the Passing of my Angel Son has changed me in so many of a way There's not enough room Here to Document All! Let's just say I will Never,Ever be the Same until the Day I Die. I've always been Overprotective of All 3 of my Children Even More so w/my 2 Earth Angel's Now. At least I'm not Bitter...

How would you define the grief that is felt with the loss of a child?

A changed person in too many ways to state (some negative, some positive), keeping my Angel's memory alive by running a FB grief support group, having a FB page dedicated to my Angel, doing graphics for other Angel parent's on a FB graphic group & so much more..... too numerous to state...

Does your child communicate with you from the other side? Explain

Yes my Angel sure does...... by sign's, thought's, prayer & more.

Did you have a premonition of your child's death? Explain

I Sure did... The night before I couldn't sleep, had a bad headache & stomach ache. Was up ,bright eyed, bushy tailed when my Daughter called me at 5:40 AM. Never gave it a thought that what she was about to tell me could be anything negative especially about her Angel Bro. <3

Oh the day he was born well the night before was a humorous one at that! It was a very wintry evening in February. The Rds. were in terrible shape,we lived in the country w/my In-Law's & the hospital was mile's away in the City. I had gone into labor at about 9:45 pm. I really did't know what natural labor was like because my 1st. child was induced. My labor pain's were down to almost 5 min a part. I'm sitting in a recliner off the kitchen while everyone was staring at me! There was my Husband, Mother-in Law,her best friend & my very young Brother-in Law. My Hubby couldn't drive me to the hospital for obvious reason's so we had to wait for my Father-in-law to get home from work which was the 2nd. shift. He usually arrived home around 12:45 pm. Upon arriving home my Father-in-Law got very nervous,put me in front of the car while my Husband sat in the back. We had to take a major highway to the hospital. Now you know when you're in labor you're going to make some noise. Well w/each contraction I noticed my Father-in-Law would accelerate the gas pedal more & more! I tried not to make any noises but had not choice in the matter. I started thinking why did he put me in the front seat in the beginning which was obviously making it worse for him! After a while it seemed that he was traveling faster w/each noise I made & didn't even seem like we were on the Rd. but flying! Well after arriving at hospital I was 8 centimeter's dilated,about 1 1/2 hrs.later at 3:20 am I gave birth to the most beautiful boy ever! My 1st. baby boy & also the 1st.Grandson! I was so happy that my Father-in-law was there to see him. My Father-in-Law's Birthday was to be the very next day & he said "you couldn't go one more day could you"! I will forever hold this memory in my heart...

Michael Schrimpscher
10 23 89 - 05 14 09
SUBMITTED BY: Cindy Church

If you could relive one day with your child what day would it be and why?

I would chose Michael's last day, I missed his phone call. I would carry my phone and have it up the loudest it could ring and I would talk to him and get together and walk with him, I would let him know how much he is loved and appreciated. I would ask him if there is anything bothering him. I would ask him if there is something I can do to help. I would hug him and take all of my time for him.

In memory of my Michael Schrimpscher
unplanned Suicide or unproven homicide

Randy Reed Hecox
30 Years
1/7/69 to 7/23/99
Ali Hecox



Sean Ernest Stenzel
3/13/1984 DOD 7/31/2011
Car accident
Sean's mom Mary

My son, Sean Stenzel, will always be remembered for his beautiful infectious smile. Even after being gone for over 4 1/2 years, people will always comment how much they miss that big beautiful smile. Not only did he have his wonderful smile, he had an awesome personality to go with it. Everyone who met him loved him, and he made a huge impact on his grandparents and great aunts and uncles. He was always so kind to the elderly and always took time to visit with them which left a lasting impression on them. I will always love and miss my "Seane Boy" as grandpa Stenzel first started calling him.

Seth Bowden Tidball
10/4/89 - 02/24/09
Seth's Mom Bowden Tidball

I was always so proud of my son but when I reflect on the past I believe I could be no more proud as when I would see my son befriend anyone who was lonely, less fortunate. It did not matter if the person was younger than him or older. If they needed a friend, he was it. If they needed clothing, he would give the shirt off his back. If it was their birthday he would take one of his toys and give it to them. I miss him so much and wished he could have seen his own worth. Even when he got a job and started making money, he would treat his friends to dinner.

Shannon David Burns
1/2/1976 to 10/30/2009
head injury
Christine (Mom)

I am so blessed to receive signs from my son. He sends me dimes. I find them in unlikely places. They put a smile on my face and I tell him that I love and miss him. We always have butterflies around us in the summer. I tell his 7 yr old son his Dad is stopping by to say Hello. Signs come in all different ways to people. Cherish each and every one you are blessed to receive. My Dad sends me pennies and the red Cardinal that stops by is from my grandmother. At least that is how I choose to interpret them into my life. Missing a loved one is a struggle some days and getting a sign when you need it the most helps heal the heart. I know my heart will never be completely healed but I need that special gift he sends. It does put a smile on my face, if only for a short while. I cherish each and every one of them. I keep all the dimes and Penny's I find in a jar marked blessings from heaven! I hope you are blessed with these gifts as well.

The one funny memory I have of Shannon is the year he dressed up as Santa. He was about 15 and we had family in from out of town. My niece was only about 2 1/2 and had never been to see Santa. So my son decided he was going to dress up and surprise her. If you could only have seen his outfit. The beard was made out of cotton baton and was falling apart as he walked and the suit was a make shift array of red clothes with a black belt. We all giggled as he came down the stairs. But the beauty of it all was my niece. She pushed everyone out of the way and ran to sit on his lap. To her it was magical!

A few years ago my sister sent me that Santa suit and the jingle bells. It brought tears to my eyes. He always had a way of putting a smile on my face and left me with wonderful memories!

When Shannon was in the 6th grade the city had a contest for all students to write an essay on "What Democracy Means To Me". They had 3 winners and he was one of them. We were so proud of this young man and his beliefs. Shanon had a very kind heart and would help anyone in need. This carried on througout his adulthood.

In fact, at his memorial service, we heard many stories of unselfish things he did for others. Like the time he was doing some construction work for a woman whose daughter was battling cancer. Shannon always wore his hair long and pulled back in a ponytail. When he got through work that day, he went and had his hair cut off and donated it to "Locks of Love", which made wigs for those who lost their hair from chemo.

He was a very special young man and set a wonderful example of loving and giving. We try to live our life this way in his honor. This is the lesson he taught us all. I so wish he could have lived a full life her on earth. But we will cherish every moment he graced our lives.

Stephen Hasbrouck
July 17,1982/November 14,2011
Cardiac arrest
Maryann Hasbrouck

Shortly after Steve died I was going through his room and collecting many of the text books that he had to donate to someone who could use them some of the books had fallen and were under his desk which is a huge L shaped computer desk .his chair is a rolley chair and at the time I had Lyme disease and joint problems and couldn't bend and such. I was already crying just from picking the books out to begin with,I reached under the desk to get a book and some how fell out of the chair that rolled.I stayed there under his desk ,first of all unable to get up because of my joint pain and I just layed there and cried and cried for many reasons.for some reason I finally looked up to see the underside of the desk There Steve had written I don't know when for whatever reason it said " if you are reading this now,I must be wondering,what the hell are you doing under my desk" I know he wrote this jokingly sometime he just has that kind of sense of humor and did some wacky things.well I started laughing so hard I couldn't stop after I read that,his father who was sitting downstairs asked me what the heck was so funny. Well as usual Steve found a way to make me laugh at this time I felt so sad and was crying.It was just like him to do that So I finally got up from under the desk and felt better as I packed up more of his books.

Question does you child communicate with you from other side

Yes Steve communicates with me in many ways he has come to me in dreams they are visitation not like dream seem real you can touch and feel them. Steve also has communicated with me through songs on the radio that I believe he's played just for me I also for a while would hear his voice in his bedroom which was right across from mine with the bathroom between Sometimes I swore I heard him say goodnight mommy ,or love you mommy like he used to do The first time it happened it was early on and it took me a few minutes to process what I heard I was going from bathroom to my room and I heard goodnight mommy,I said goodnight baby ( like I used to do) I got in my bed and it took a few minutes to register and I jumped out of bed and ran to his room turned on the light looked all over for him I couldn't believe he wasn't there I heard him clear as a bell

Tammy Renee Smith
21 years
3/29/1981 - 1/30/2003

Memorial for Tammy Renee Smith


Tracy Elizabeth Pelham
10 yrs
February 24,1965 - July 2, 1975
Car accident

The grief of loosing a child is like a bottomless just goes on & on. We learn to live with the pain & emptiness of a heart that is unfix able. We go back to the everyday routine, but something is always missing...Some times a couple of days will pass and there are no tears, but just one little thing, a smell, a song, a picture a memory and the flood gates open. I carried Tracy in my body for nine months, now I carry her in my thoughts and always in my heart. My beautiful brown eyed girl, It is with great pride, honor and love to know as....Tracy's mommy oxox

The one memory that comes to mind is the Christmas Eve we were all sleeping, and you came into our bed to say you heard Santa's bells and reindeer feet on the roof. You were so convincing that before long daddy & I swore we also heard Santa on the roof. You were such a sweet, innocent child and a precious gift from God. Every Christmas Eve since you've been gone I still listen for the Santa's bells & reindeer feet on the roof. Love you forever, my sweet Angel Tracy.....mommy


Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross


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