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BringerOfLight

2014
Bringer of Light newsletter






Welcome to the
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER

Thanks so much for your request to receive the monthly
BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER.

THE NIGHT THE ANGELS CAME

It was just a few weeks before Easter and we had already started planning for our Easter celebration with Emily (Luke's sister) & Luke at our cabin in northern Arizona. At that time we lived in the desert and going to the cool mountains was such a treat. Our cabin had just been completed in the fall, so this would be our first Easter at the cabin. We always had an Easter Egg hunt for Emily and Luke even when they were adults (Luke was 21 and Emily was 23), but of course the eggs contained money as an incentive. We also planned a big meal and some hikes and maybe a game of croquet.

Robin (Luke's Dad) and I left the house early on a Monday morning to take a little trip to the cabin, just 2 hours away. Luke was still sleeping when we left, so I went in his room and gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him goodbye. But he never knew this, because he was sleeping and I never knew that this would be our last goodbye and my final kiss before he left for Heaven.

Luke had told me the day before that he had the sniffles, but none of us thought anything of it. He got up that morning after we left and went off to work and worked a full day. Luke was working a new job as a real estate leasing agent. He was really excited at work because his new business cards had come in that day and because he had just closed a big real estate deal.

He called his sister everyday at 12:30 to say hey and see how she was doing. She always waited for his call. He called that day too. After work he went home to shower and change because that night he was meeting his friends at the sports bar to watch a pro basketball game on TV. He even had a $10 bet on the game. He called his friend at 7 p.m. to tell him he would be there soon. It was just a very normal day.

Luke never showed up at the sports bar and his friend tried to call him but didn't get an answer. We had also been trying to reach him to see how his day at work went. He never answered the phone at home or his cell phone. We didn't think much of it because Luke was always forgetting to charge his cell phone and the house had a cordless phone so we just assumed that Luke had also let that battery run down on it too. We never talked to him that night and this was unusual, because we always talked everyday.

We went to bed that night at the cabin and I had a dream that Luke was dying on the floor of our home. He was saying "Help me Mom, help me." I woke up, sat straight up in the bed, looked at the clock, it was 3:30 a.m. I thought, what a terrible nightmare. I dared not call Luke at 3:30 a.m., he would have thought I had lost my mind. So the next morning we tried to reach him but we got no answer, and assumed he was just sleeping, because he was a very heavy sleeper. Later, still no answer, and then I KNEW, WITHOUT A DOUBT, THAT LUKE WAS DEAD. I told my husband, "I think Luke is dead". He looked at me and said "what's the matter with you, why would you say such a thing". I said "I don't know, I just know that Luke is dead." I still don't know why or how I knew, but I KNEW!!!

We started our drive home. In the meantime we asked Emily to go home to check on Luke. When she arrived at the house she called and told us that Luke's car was there, so we all knew something terrible was wrong. She would not go in because she feared the outcome and because I told her that she shouldn't go in. She called a friend to go in.

Luke was found on the floor of his room, having been dead for about 18 hours (the exact time of my dream). There was no evidence of why he died. He was just dead, leaning up against the side of his bed, like he was sleeping. There was no sign of a struggle and he looked as though he died without pain. There were no drugs, no weapons, no apparent injuries, no blood, or anything to tell us why he had died. After the coroner left with Luke we turned the house upside down trying to find a reason why he died. We went through the garbage, through his clothing, through the cabinets, through the refrigerator, and through every possible thing in that house. We FOUND NOTHING, but shattered dreams.

It was six horrible weeks before we received the autopsy report from the coroners office that stated "Lucas Christopher Ross died of natural cause on April 3, 2001 from Acute Bronchopneumonia".

Easter arrived, but not before..... the night the angels came.

© 2014 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001






FOREVER LIVING IN THE PAST

Tears fall and the sweet memories of Luke,
Flood through my consciousness so fast.
Just memories remain so I begin,
FOREVER LIVING IN THE PAST.

Our desperate search for Luke has ended,
He is in his room all alone.
We are speeding along so anxiously,
Trying so hard to get back home.

We seem to move down the road so slowly,
Through the warm and stale April night.
I hear only the hum of tires and stare,
Straight ahead at the red taillights.

The scene grips my soul as we park the car,
Home sweet home as never before,
The eerie shadows of bright flashing lights,
Police tape across the front door.

We want to go inside and see our son,
We're not allowed is what we are told.
We wait forever in the heat outside,
Although the desert seems so cold.

Murmurs and voices are muffled and drift,
Across the still dark desert air.
The hours of endless waiting linger,
As I go to my God in prayer.

I ache in the dark and lonely silence,
As I shed my own private tears.
While in my suffering mind I relive,
All of those fond wonderful years.

I finally enter the house alone,
My footsteps stop cold at his door.
My heart is heavy with sadness and pride,
I want to hold him just once more.

Luke's Dad joins me and together we stand,
Holding on to each other’s clutch.
We can only gaze in dull disbelief,
Because we're not allowed to touch.

Outside his only sister cries: "No Luke!"
As it echoes throughout the night.
I painfully watch the coroners van,
Until it is out of my sight.

We enter our home once again and search,
For answers of what took his life.
Nothing is found but shattered hopes and dreams,
Stabbing through our hearts like a knife.

Somehow morning arrives and seems to move,
At an unexplainable pace.
Suspended we make unbearable plans,
That time will not ever erase.

Oh my God! I just can not believe it,
Twenty-one years old and he's dead.
Numbness absorbs me and everything feels,
So misplaced in my mixed up head.

The autopsy is done and finally,
I touch his soft beautiful skin.
Within my chest is a horrible pain,
Because of the absence of him.

Final good-byes before his cremation,
We give him an eternal kiss.
Once more I ask God to please bring him back,
This is my last and only wish.

But my only wish is never granted,
Once again he's warm in my lap.
He's back home again but only ashes,
Oh when I will wake from this nap.

Family members arrive for his service,
They all come from so far away.
To honor our Lucas Christopher Ross,
On this his everlasting day.

We are gathered with loved ones and flowers,
Within a never yearned for place.
There are hugs and precious words of comfort,
As tears stream down each saddened face.

Now solemnly his friends fill the chapel,
As they each enter one by one.
Words and music then the service concludes,
The emptiness has just begun.

After endless weeks of waiting to know,
We get an answer to our why,
Pneumonia crept in and left him to stay,
All alone in his room to die.

Our little family is not apart,
In some strange unusual way.
We share Luke's imperishable spirit,
Each day after day after day.

Our love, dreams and unfading memories,
Still make us cry and make us laugh.
And the FOUR of us spend a lot of time,
FOREVER LIVING IN THE PAST.



© 2001 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001




Find and be found to discover your.....
BRINGER OF LIGHT.

ANGEL

"Angel" (sometimes mis-titled in non-specialist sources as "In the Arms of an Angel" or "Arms of the Angel") is a song by Sarah McLachlan that originally appeared on her 1997 album Surfacing. As McLachlan explained on VH1 Storytellers, the song is about the Smashing Pumpkins touring keyboard player Jonathan Melvoin, who overdosed on heroin and died in 1996.

"Angel" was McLachlan's second consecutive top five hit on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, debuting at number twelve, and then jumping to the top ten the following week, before peaking at number four. It remained at the top ten for nineteen weeks, and for twenty-nine weeks in the top 100. "Angel" was the eighteenth most successful song of 1999.

"Angel" was one of the first songs written for Surfacing. McLachlan said that writing it was easy, "a real joyous occasion." It was inspired by articles that she read in Rolling Stone about musicians turning to heroin to cope with the pressures of the music industry and subsequently overdosing. She said that she identified with the feelings that might lead someone to use heroin: "I've been in that place where you've messed up and you're so lost that you don't know who you are anymore, and you're miserable—and here's this escape route. I've never done heroin, but I've done plenty of other things to escape." She said that the song is about "trying not to take responsibility for other people's problems and trying to love yourself at the same time".

Released as a single in 1998, "Angel" peaked at #4 on the Billboard Hot 100 on February 23, 1999 (after reaching the Top 40 on December 15, 1998), #1 on the Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks chart

The song has had enduring popularity. It is often used to highlight emotional scenes on television shows, and has been featured in a number of soundtracks (including the film City of Angels and TV's Alias, As the World Turns, Cold Case, Dawson's Creek, Early Edition, Felicity, General Hospital, Providence, Strong Medicine and The Pretender). In addition, it is also used as a song of comfort and healing, most often following tragic events such as the April 1999 Columbine High School massacre and the September 11, 2001 World Trade Center terrorist attacks. Furthermore, a large number of video tributes to loved ones uploaded by YouTube users have been set to this song.

On September 10, 2011, McLachlan performed the song to close the ceremonies at the dedication of the Flight 93 Memorial in Stonycreek Township, commemorating the passengers and crew of United Airlines Flight 93 who fought the hijackers and brought down their airplane in the September 11 attacks.

The 2009 Hallmark Hall of Fame movie A Dog Named Christmas used this song in one scene.

Since 2007, "Angel" has been included in an advertisement for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) in which McLachlan serves as the spokesperson. The song is played over video of dogs and cats in an animal shelter and is credited with helping raise millions of dollars for the ASPCA.

~ SOURCE: WIKIPEDIA




ANGEL

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that would make it okay
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction, a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty, oh and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here

So tired of this straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here


~ WORDS AND MUSIC BY: Sarah McLachlan







ANNIVERSARY AND BIRTHDAY
DEDICATIONS

Alyssa Estevez* 23*04/21/1982 - 03/12/2006*Single Car Accident

Brandon Wesley Sgaggero*29*4/7/78 - 3/6/08*Narcotic Intoxication-morphine and methadoneh

Clinton Terry Milam*10 yrs* 04/07/93-08/05/03*Traumatic Brain Injury

Jennifer Ann Robinson*31*4-23-75 3-9-07*accidential overdose

JEREMY TACKETT*26 *042076 - 042402*VSD

Jerry Max Lain Jr.*33*4/17/72-5/26/05*cancer, over dose of pain meds

Joshua Samuel Hughes*21*4/30/82- 11/07/03*car accident

Joshua S Johnson*21*10-11-85-4-01-07*Accidential Overdose

Lisa Elaine Mewbourne*25*9/23/65 ~ 4/23/91*gunshot wound to head

Lucas Christopher Ross*21*October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001*Acute Bronchopneumonia

PETER LOGIE*32*04/15/68 - 05/19/00

Robert Paul Terranova*42*Nov 15, 1964 - April 18, 2007*Pulminary Embolism/ heart attack

Sean Harrington Riley*21*May 10, 1984- April 26, 2006*suicide

TYLER ALAN VANDERWALL *20*4/20/86 - 2/04/07 *HOVD

IN MEMORY OF: Clint Milam
AGE: 10
DATES: 04/07/93-08/05/03
CAUSE: Accident
SUBMITTED BY: Susan Milam

April 7, 1993 was one of the happiest days of my life. That's the day my son, Clint, was born. He was beautiful and perfect. His dad was delighted, his sisters were delighted and I was delighted. For the next 10 yrs. Clint was the center of our world. He brought incalculable amounts of love and joy to our lives. I just couldn't wait to see the man Clint would be one day. He had dreams and aspirations already at such a young age. He wanted to be a scientist. He wanted to go the University of Florida. I have a feeling he would have achieved every goal and dream he had, and more. April 7, 2014 is Clint's 21st birthday. The day he should have become a man. Happy Birthday my sweet Clint!

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Scott Johnson
AGE: 21
DATES: 10/11/1985-04/01/2007
CAUSE: Accendental Drug Overdose
SUBMITTED BY: Tammy Forever Joshs Mom

I cannot believe it has been 7 years already, at times cannot believe I am still here, miss you every second of the day everyday.My hope in this life is that I will see you in my next. Love and miss you with every inch of my begin. Mom

IN MEMORY OF: Lucas Christopher Ross "LUKE"
AGE: 21
DATES: October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
CAUSE: Acute Bronchopneumonia
SUBMITTED BY: Robin Ross, Luke's Dad

LUKE,
It is late at night and I am thinking of you, crying and smiling at the same time. Me and mom cried together today, missing you, as always. It has been so long since you left, but when the pain comes, it is still raw, it hurts so deep. I know you are Ok and we will be together again, but the waiting is so hard. Thank you for all of the wonderful memories you gave me, I hold to those memories every day. Thank you for all the signs you send to allow us to go beyond faith, to fact that you are everything you always were and our love is eternal, and you are with GOD and you and HE are waiting for me when my time comes. I look forward to that time and my journey to the next life, to your life. Please come to visit, to let us smile and cry and know that through the sadness, an eternity beyond our imagination is waiting. I love you and I miss you LUKE,
Dad



QUOTES:

FAMOUS QUOTE:

While we are sleeping, angels have conversations with our souls. ~Author Unknown

MEMBER QUOTE:

"For he really was asleep.....in the Lord's arms." ~ Arlene Gundersen 2012

MEMORIAL QUOTE:

IN MEMORY OF: Christopher Ronald Faller
AGE: 7-1/2 yrs
DATES: May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
CAUSE: viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
SUBMITTED BY: Maria, Christopher's Mommy

My love for you is not written on paper,
For paper can be erased.
Nor is my love for you etched in stone,
For stone can be broken.
But my love for you is inscribed in my heart,
Where it shall remain forever.

~ Author Unknown



LETTERS:

IN MEMORY OF: Cody Wade Edwards
AGE: 21
DATES: 07/01/92-11/23/13
CAUSE: car accident
SUBMITTED BY: Cody's mom

Mom, "Can I get a hug". Cody, I loved hearing this from you. I wished more than anything in the world I could hear that sentence again.

I loved hearing that from you especially since you were getting older and weren't too keen on me hugging you all the time. Cody it has only been 3 months and it feels like it has been years and years since you've been gone. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and your great laugh and your beautiful voice.

Cody I know you are happy in heaven because everything is perfect in heaven and you are playing your music all the time just like you loved. I still look out back in our back yard and see you sitting on the edge of the pool with your feet in the water playing your guitar with Dallas our big dog laying right next to you. I love that memory so much. So many things about you Cody that I will never ever forget.

I remember you in our backyard in Plano, TX practicing your fighting techniques when you were in the fifth grade. Do karate kicks and punches in the air and all the sound effects you would make each time you kicked or punched the air. So funny and cute.

I'll never forget when you would get so aggravated with your little sister (who by the way idolized you) and instead of getting angry with her you would just say, "okay, you little fruit you can play".

You are the best son that a mom could ever ask for and I am so proud of you Cody. I love you baby and I can't wait to see you again in heaven I am going to hug you tight and never ever let you go.

love forever,
mom




LIFE STORIES:

ENCORE PRESENTATION FROM JULY 2011

IN MEMORY OF: Geoffrey Philip James Edwards
AGE: 18
DATES: 6 May 1984 - 22 May 2002
CAUSE: heroin overdose given to him by a "friend"
SUBMITTED BY: Karen Lyn Jenkins, Mom to Geoffrey P. Edwards

COPING

On 22 May 02, our 18 year old son, Geoffrey P. Edwards, died in his sleep.

In one day, I went from a mother of a Senior in high school to a mother of the child who had died. I went from the excitement of attending his Graduation from Middletown South, planning his Graduation Party, attending Wesley College's Freshman Orientation, choosing college courses and all the things that graduating seniors go through to burying an 18 year old who had his life before him.

My husband and I are grieving and heartbroken. We are trying to find ways to cope with our loss but time seems to be the only healer. Talking with other parents who have lost children, we have found that coping with the loss is easier as time passes but the heart never really recovers. There seems to be a scar on the heart where once there was a hole of pain and grief.

Our pain is so intense - what have we left of Geoff? Memories that are wonderful but there is no one there to hug or kiss. We have things of his such as football cleats, clothes, his high school ring, CD"s, pictures but not him. Pictures that make me weep when I look at them because he is in the Cap and Gown that he never got to wear. The invitation to the Senior Ball he was never able to attend. His Tassel, his Yearbook and his Diploma that we picked up at the school; all the tender, loving memories but no Geoff.

To never see your child again is heart-rending, and it is hard, if not impossible, right now for us to cope any better than we are. We have to learn to live without Geoff and I, for one, cannot believe that he is dead.

We have been working toward coping in the only ways we know how. Thanks to friends, relatives, and supportive people we are mending our lives, albeit slowly. We are working to raise Scholarship Money for "The Geoffrey P. Edwards Memorial Scholarship Fund" through The Middletown Township Board of Education for High School South. We are raising money by selling T-Shirts (a great thank you to Mrs. Sandra Protz). The t-shirt has #67 on the front "Chewy" (Geoff's nickname) in a blue oval on the back and under "Chewy" "Geoffrey P. Edwards," and under his name "Unforgettable." We are also making Bumper Stickers and selling them to raise money for this Scholarship Fund (great thanks to Ms. B. J. Voorhees).

As Mrs. Protz has said: "When my son sprained his knee on the football field no one, helped him, except #67, Geoff Edwards, who had a heart as big as his body." Mrs. Protz is right Geoff had a heart as big as his body but a young person's mind. He was 6'5" tall but still a child not an adult. This young man, Geoffrey P. Edwards was precious to me and I now have to live without a young man who was always protective of those who could not protect themselves from bullies in school, who was loved by his friends and his friends' parents, who was compassionate, kind, generous, gentle and loving.

We are cleaning things from his room; many of those things grieve us because of a life taken away before his time. Things that we have decided to keep, things that we have given away to his dear friends, things to donate, and things that we have to dispose of. Toys, beany babies, "I love you" heart, video games, Boy Scout memorabilia, his Scout shirt, Merit Sash and neckerchief, his football shirt, 6 pairs of almost new shoes buried under tons of stuff because he hated them, videos, an unknown number of mismatched socks and some of my husband's T-shirts that he'd been looking for and were folded inside out, numerous empty bottles of water, and many other items we had to decide what to do with. Some were too precious to dispose of but too painful to look at.

What do we do when everywhere we look, there are memories of him. We have visited a Grief Counselor, will attend meetings of Compassionate Friends, and Bereavement Groups. But it all comes down to this: we lost a child too young to die because a "friend" gave him an overdose of heroin the first time Geoff foolishly experimented with the drug and never bothered to tell us that Geoff was in severe distress when the "friend" left our house. Geoff had a urine test, taken not 5 days before he died, and it was negative for any type of drugs or alcohol.

My husband and I are also determined that something good will come out of this tragedy and that we will speak to children about the dangers of drugs. We give thanks to Mr. Mike Slover, Director, Drug/Alcohol Abuse Prevention Programs and the Mr. David Toma, who speaks all over the country about the deadly dangers of drugs, for allowing us to share our story with young people. We have lost our son but we will not give up the fight to keep other children alive and healthy.

We are also working to enforce two New Jersey State Laws N.J.S.A. 2A:4A-26 and N.J.S.A. 2C:35-9. N.J.S.A. 2A:4A-26 states: A juvenile 14 years old and over who is charged with a drug-related offense can be treated as an adult in criminal court. N.J.S.A. 2C:35-9 states: New Jersey law provides strict liability for drug-induced deaths. Even if the victim voluntarily takes the drug, the person who distributes or dispenses the controlled dangerous substance can be prosecuted for a homicide.

We feel that these two laws, among a list of 11 laws, need to be used to stop the growing threat to our children from Drug Predators and Dealers.

Young people must also know that FRIENDS DON'T LEAVE A FRIEND TO DIE if that friend is in distress from using drugs. Calling 911, parents, or even other friends to take a youngster to a hospital can save many lives. They must have the courage to face the consequences of what they do and save a friend's life.

To find out more information about the T-Shirts and Bumper Stickers, go to:

Antigone50@aol.com

We would appreciate any comments you might make that are positive and helpful to us. Anyone's child can make a mistake like this, it is up to the adults in this area to try to make a difference and to help children realize that the consequences of their mistakes can be death and sorrow to their families.





POETRY:

IN MEMORY OF: Clint Milam
AGE: 10
DATES: 04/07/93-08/05/03
CAUSE: Accident
SUBMITTED BY: Mom, Susan Milam

1993 to 2003

Forever 10, and always on my mind
Frozen in that place, frozen in that time.
The perfect puddle, under the perfect tree –
Looking for frogs, or flowers...for me.
Always happy, always carefree,
I see him running like the wind; through the trees.
Sleeping in on Saturday, watching cartoons til noon-
Snorkeling with Dad, or watching the moon.
Power Rangers, Pokemon, Captain Underpants, Sponge Bob-
To the world of a child, the world of wonder, he belonged.
Sparkling eyes, beautiful smile,
loving his life in his very own style.
Happy, adventurous, and just as silly as could be,
just another child to you - but the whole world to me.
Frozen in place and frozen in time-
Forever he’ll stay 10, in my heart and in my mind.
1993 to eternity.





SIGNS:


IN MEMORY OF: Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE: 27
DATES: 3/13/1984 - 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY: Sean's Mom Mary Stenzel

Shortly after Sean passed I had gotten a letter from one of his x-girlfriends. I was going to share this with my brother As I was typing in my brother's name to send the scanned letter, all of sudden "Sean Stenzel" was typed in and I hadn't typed it. Sean always thought I shared too much of his personal life and this was the only way he could prevent me from doing this. Needless to say, I did NOT share the letter.

IN MEMORY OF: Jason Christopher Dunn
AGE: 22
DATES: June 5, 1974 - March 13, 1997
CAUSE: Accidental Gun
WRITTEN BY: Susie Dunn

Easter is always the hardest holiday for me.
Jason was buried on Thursday
the week before "Good Friday"
so it always brings back memories. Some years I did ok for Easter...
and some years it was very hard to get through the day.
This must have been 2003.
Jason loved Snickers and the peanut butter eggs.
I had not gotten to the store to buy candy until
a day or two before Easter.....
So the snicker eggs were all gone....
I was so counting on Jason "passing through" for a bite...
I know...your saying...she is totally off the deep end...
but Jason never lets me down....
he always lets me know he IS around...
and he will always be....
So anyway....there were no snicker eggs for that year.
I went to bed....and when I got up
on the nightstand beside my bed was
a crumbled up snicker wrapper...
by the way...the nightstand was made by
Jason when he was in high school.







IN THEIR OWN WORDS:

written or said by our children

IN MEMORY OF: Joey Marshall Whiteman
AGE: 21 years, 360 days
DATES: 9/8/80-9/3/02
CAUSE: auto accident, blunt force trauma to his heart
SUBMITTED BY: Terrie, Joey's Mom (Joey's words)

It was the day before Easter and my Mom took me and JM to all the Easter Egg Hunts. The one that was the best was in 1984, not only did we find real eggs, but plastic eggs with prizes inside. I won one of the prizes. It was a 3 Ft. Chocolate bunny. We had a box freezer downstairs in our house, and I put it in there so it wouldn't melt. As the years , yes years went by, everyone forgot the bunny. When my parents moved, they couldn't take the freezer, there was no roon for it in the apartment, so the man who bought the house got a very special treat, guess what that was, "A 3Ft. Chocolate Bunny".

Love Joey, from Heaven





SPECIAL MEMORIES:

IN MEMORY OF: Joshua Eugene Hedglin
AGE: 18
DATES: 9/13/78~3/16/97
CAUSE: MURDER
SUBMITTED BY: Monika Hedglin

I held a butterfly soft and gentle
It rested upon my hand
It filled my soul with wonder and such love
At it's magical life...
It brought the warmth of love I have never known before...
A cold wind blew and it was gone
Never to return again...

By Mom to Josh 4 ever



DREAMS:

IN MEMORY OF: Jason Beau Morgan
AGE: 23
DATES: 07/31/1979 - 10/10/2002
CAUSE: Aneurysm
SUBMITTED BY: Diane Morgan, Beau's Mom

My Dream of Beau – Early Morning of Tuesday, July 5, 2005

I dreamed of Beau and Brad (Beau's brother) on each side of me with my arms around them hugging them close. I was looking at Beau and his face was very close to me. He was a young boy, and his face was so very clear and the dream of his face was very distinct, in color. I looked into his eyes, and his eyes were very stunning and a deep rich blue; they were beautiful, and I could not take my eyes away. I kept looking into his ocean blue eyes and it was very magical. Beau was not smiling but looked into my eyes and just looked like himself with his beautiful full lips and he had an expression that I cannot explain; he was very beautiful. Even though this is all I dreamt, it was the most magical, peaceful, and beautiful dream I had of Beau, with his beautiful face but his eyes were the most spectacular that I ever had seen.

Also, in the beginning of the dream I also saw Brad but he was not as distinctive as Beau because Beau was my dream. Even though I kept looking at Beau and into his eyes (a very magical moment), I knew that Brad was at my other side. However, later in the dream when I tried to look at Brad, it was all fuzzy and I could not see him and I'm not sure why? All I know is that I felt this wonderful and peaceful feeling as I looked into Beau's eyes.







FUNNY MEMORIES OF OUR CHILDREN:


IN MEMORY OF: Lindsay Ann Brashier
AGE: 18
DATES: Dec. 19, 1977 - Nov. 10, 1996
SUBMITTED BY: Marilyn, Lindsay's Mom

I REMEMBER ONE EASTER, WHEN I HAD FOUND MATCHING DRESSES IN A DEEP PINK, SEMI- LARGE WHITE COLLAR, FOR BOTH HER AND HER SISTER, WHO IS 6 YRS. YOUNGER THAN HER.

I ALSO FOUND LACE PARASOLS FOR EACH OF THEM, SIZE APPROPRIATE. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY DARLING. AND BEFORE THAT, I THINK LINDSAY WAS 2 OR 3, I HAD FOUND THIS PRECIOUS ALL LACE DRESS FOR HER WITH A BIT OF BLUE RIBBON. WE HAD GONE TO THE COUNTRY CLUB THAT DAY FOR LUNCH, AND IT WAS HOT. SHE HAD FOUND THE MELTED CHOCOLATE BUNNY AND WAS TRYING TO TOUCH EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY, JUST TO BE HELD. I REMEMBER HER GRANDMOTHER DODGING HER LIKE SHE WAS A ROACH. IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.







OUR CHILDREN'S ACHIEVEMENTS, TALENTS, HONORS, AWARDS, AND UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS:

IN MEMORY OF: Sean Ernest Stenzel
AGE: 27
DATES: 3/13/1984 - 7/31/2011
CAUSE: Car accident
SUBMITTED BY: Sean's Mom Mary Stenzel

Sean was talented in so many things---musically, artistically etc. When he was a young teenager, maybe 13, the school choir director at Alden-Conger asked him to sing with the senior high choir and solo with a senior girl. They needed a young high voice and choose Sean to sing with them. You can imagine how proud his parents were of him at this performance Sean knew I loved Elvis music, and he recorded a couple of songs for me with him singing Elvis. I put this away and with everything going on, I haven't found it. But Sean had such a beautiful voice. Sean was so artistic and could draw so well. He loved to design cars. As a young adult, his talent for ceramic tiling really developed. He did some ceramic tiling in St. Casimir's mens bathroom, as well as for other local people. He also did some ceramic tiling at my brother and sister-in-law's house. His personal pride was the ceramic tiling he did in his bathroom in his own house. He had a gift for this. He always wanted to do some tiling in our house, and I could kick myself we didn't have him do some tiling, so we would always have Sean's beautiful work in our home.







MEMORIALS: ROAD SIDE, HEADSTONE, URN, GARDEN, DISPLAY, PUBLICATION, BENCH, STATUE, PLAQUE, BRICK, SIGN, STONE, ROOM, SPORT, PLACE, WEB SITE.....

IN MEMORY OF: Cody Wade Edwards
AGE: 21
DATES: July 1, 1992-November 23, 2013
CAUSE: car accident
SUBMITTED BY: Cody's mom

http://cody-edwards.memory-of.com/About.aspx

This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Cody Edwards who was born in Texas on 01 July, 1992 and passed away on 23 November, 2013 at the age of 21. We will remember him forever. Cody is an old soul and had such a loving heart. He never judged anyone and always found the best in everybody. Cody was doing what he loved more than anything and that was making music. He was the happiest I have heard him in quite a while. Cody was ready to move on from Nevada City, CA and take a trip to visit his Dad in Florida, his mom in AZ and then to TX to visit his grandmother. Cody was always playing his beautiful music and singing. Cody was such a sweet child growing up. He always loved going to the park and climbing the jungle gym when he was only 3 and always with his mom close behind him. Cody learned to swim when he was 4 years of age and was so nervous about jumping off the diving board at the end of his swim lessons for the week. When Cody got up on the diving board he didn't hesitate and jumped right off and that was when Cody fell in love with swimming and he was a great swimmer. Cody went on to get his license for scuba diving and was advanced in diving as well. Cody has always been such a free spirit always going his own way. He loved hanging out at Mill in Tempe and whenever Cody was about walk out the door to our house I would always ask him where are you going, "Mom I am going to Mill" every single time he would answer me. Cody loved going to Mill and play music or listen to music. Cody could make friends with anyone and just because a person is homeless doesn't bother Cody he will talk to anyone as if they have been a long lost friend. God has a very special angel in Cody.







QUESTION:

Based on your personal experience what would you say to someone that has just lost their child and what hope could you give them?

IN MEMORY OF: Dylan Ross
AGE: 36 years
DATES: 11/22/1973 - 8/27/2010
CAUSE: Pulmonary embolism
SUBMITTED BY: Mom

Unfortunately I have known several people who have lost children since I lost my son and each time my heart aches for them. All I can do is give them a hug and tell them how truly sorry I am for their devastating loss. I do let them know that I have experienced the loss of my son and I know the pain they are experiencing. If they say they don't know what to do or how to feel I just assure them that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If they want to talk, I listen. Depending on my relationship with the bereaved I follow up with a visit, phone call or handwritten card a week or two after the funeral to let them know they and their child are in my thoughts and prayers.







STORIES OF ENCOUNTERS WITH ANGELS:

IN MEMORY OF: Jason Christopher Dunn
AGE: 22
DATES: June 5, 1974-March 13,1997
CAUSE: Accidental Gun
SUBMITTED BY: Susie Dunn

Angels on Katy

Katy was my old horse..
and this was her last ride ever.
She was 30 and still loved to go.
My friend Kathy had come down to ride
with me and we took the horses out
to what is referred as "low water" here.
It was a beautiful fall day..
We had a great ride.we were
Going back to the trailer and on the way back.
we had to cross the water again.
It's cement and with the water
it has a lot of moss and it's slick.
We were just going into the water
when Katy slipped and fell..
all I could think of was the beautiful horse
hurting herself.and me too..
so as she was falling I said.Oh God..
and from that point on
It was like slow motion..
all the way down.
When she stopped falling I was able
to stay right on her as she got up...
all this was in SLOW MOTION.
Kathy was behind us.
and she asked...
"How did you do that"
she watched this happen in slow motion.
I asked her what it looked like
from her point of view.and she said.
IN SLOW MOTION.
It was incredible..Katy was not hurt.
I was not hurt and all of this on cement.
God truly is Awesome...
He sent me angels
to keep my old girl safe...
and this old girl too.






READER COMMENTS 2014


COMMENTS RECEIVED SINCE LAST MONTH'S NEWSLETTER

IN MEMORY OF: Robert Walton
AGE: 1 day old
DATES: Nov 10, 1963 - Nov 11, 1963
CAUSE: Premuture
SUBMITTED BY: JOAN TAYLOR

Dear Christine

Thank You so very much for sharing {BringerOfLightNewsletter}with me my sweet friend bless you always Christine. I so loved reading Live, Laugh, Love it was so beautiful but made me cry Christine. And also {Oh How We Laughed}so lovely indeed. I love the song {Time of your life}. When I read anything about your Luke, it makes me wish I could take away all your pain and sorrow from you and Robin's and Emily's heart. I prayer for God to give you all his love and comfort today, tomorrow, and always. And Thank You also Christine for the very beautiful Memorial Rainbow Gift you've made for Robert, love it with all my heart. And all the things there was all beautiful to read my special friend. Christine I send you and Robin and Emily. All my love and prayers to you all. From your ever friend Joan xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

IN MEMORY OF: bryan esposito
AGE: 20
DATES: 5/13/79-2/11/02
CAUSE: unknown
SUBMITTED BY: irene esposito

Thank you so much for this site. I love reading and find comfort. I applaud you for your efforts I don't think I could do all you do. Thank you again, you are in my thought and prayers.

All my love, Irene Esposito

IN MEMORY OF: Daniel Scott Forrester
AGE: 30
DATES: 2/28/70 ~ 1/10/2001
CAUSE: non-hodgkins lymphoma
SUBMITTED BY: Arlene (Dan's Mom)

I think of Luke in April on his Heaven day. I think of the phrase "April showers bring May flowers" I think of the "showers" of the many "tears" that are being shed by Luke's family and friends.......remembering him on his Heaven date. Although I never met Luke in person, I KNOW him. Because of all the wonderful stories his parents share and because of all the great signs he sends......I can say "I KNOW LUKE". He is so special to me. I also truly think he is "best Heaven friends" with my son, Danny. The two of them put their heads together and send some incredible signs. So....Luke, you are being remembered, with candles and thoughts. You are never far from my heart. I know you will be sending your family some of your special signs. YOU ARE LOVED.

Arlene
Danny's Mom








Special thanks for Bringer of Light Newsletter submissions this month:

Clint's Mom, Susan Milam
Tammy, Forever Josh's Mom
Robin Ross, Luke's Dad
Arlene Gundersen
Maria, Christopher's Mommy
Cody's Mom
Sean's Mom, Mary Stenzel
Susie Dunn
Terrie, Joey's Mom
Monika Hedglin
Marilyn, Lindsay's Mom
Dylan Ross' Mom
Joan Taylor
Karen Lyn Jenkins, Mom to Geoffrey P. Edwards
Diane Morgan, Beau's Mom
Irene Esposito

Thanks also for all of the wonderful submissions that will be featured in an upcoming Bringer of Light newsletter. Those who submitted will be notified when their submission will be included in the newsletter and also which month it will be featured in. Everyone is encouraged to make submissions for ANY of the catagories. You may do so by clicking on the 'submit button' below:






Music playing:

ANGEL





In honor of our children please click on the links below:








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Submissions are needed for many of the Bringer of Light Newsletter sections. Submissions are placed in the order that they are received and/or for a relevant month. Your submissions are the essence of the newsletter. So start typing and send in those submissions ASAP! Please go to the link below the section list to see a chart of available sections.


DEDICATIONS: Reserved for those children that will have their anniversary or birthday next month.

QUOTES: Share a quote or saying of your child's or a quote that you like that for your child.

LETTERS TO HEAVEN: A letter written by you to your child in Heaven.

LIFE STORY: A story written by you about your child's life.

POETRY: A poem written by you about your grief or your child.

SIGNS FROM THE OTHER SIDE: A story written by you about a sign that you received from your child.

IN THEIR OWN WORDS: A story, poem, quote, or anything written or said by your child.

MEMORIES: A story written by you about a special memory that you have of your child.

DREAMS: A story written by you about a dream that you had of your child after the death of your child.

HUMOR: A story written by you about a funny memory you have of your child at any age.

PRIDE: A story written by you about an achievement, talent, or unique characteristic of your child at any age.

MEMORIALS: A story written by you about a memorial that you have for your child.

QUESTION: Your answer to the current question about grief. (see submission site for current question)

ANGEL STORIES: Stories of encounters with angels that you or your child had at anytime

COMMENTS: A comment that you may have for any of the sections in the Bringer of Light newsletter. CHART FOR AVAILABLE SECTIONS:


When you enter the SUBMISSION PAGE there is a chart that will show the available sections so that you will know what is available to submit. The cart represents an entire year. You are invited to submit to any of the available sections. You may see the chart by clicking on the button below:

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We would love to hear all about your child, or your grief, or your comments. You can participate in the BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER by submitting to the above sections.
















"VISIT WITH LUKE"

Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross

"MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU"