Bringer of Light newsletter

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It was February 7, 2015. My husband Robin and I were in a small town about 60 miles from our home going to yard sales when I received an email on my phone. It was an email delivering the sad news that Terrie Whiteman had died early that morning. Terrie and I had been online friends for many, many years. Her son Joey died in 2002 at the age of 21 and my son Luke had died in 2001 at the age of 21. Because of that fact we connected immediately online. Terrie had been in a wheelchair for many years, but that never stopped her from doing the things she wanted to do and helping those in need.

Robin and I were in the car when the email came in and I read it to Robin. He said..."She is with her son now." And there for a little while, I lost my faith. I replied...."I hope so." Robin said..."No, she is!" I said... "In my heart I know it is true, but in my mind I sometimes question." Then Robin said..."Christine, you KNOW we have gotten many signs from Luke that tell us he is okay." I said... "I know, but I just hope it is really true." Robin said..."It is and you know it!" I just shook my head in doubt and confusion as tears rolled down my face. Then I started singing the song by Train, Calling All Angels. "I need a sign to let me know you're here, all of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere". I was still crying and having trouble getting the words out because my voice was cracking, and all the while our three dogs were howling along.

We arrived at the very next yard sale and Robin dropped me off while he turned the car around and parked it. I started walking down the driveway of a house. There to the right of me in the grass was the cutest little 3-year-old boy. He had on a bright orange shirt, which is Luke's favorite color (he was born on Halloween). I also noticed the little boy's dark brown hair trimmed in a bowl cut just like Luke's was when he was a little boy. This little fellow was rolling a toy shopping cart around and having so much fun with his new-found treasure. He looked towards me and started strolling his cart in my direction. He ran over my foot with his little plastic shopping cart marked 50 cents. I looked down at him and he had this huge smile on his face. I thought to myself how much he reminded me of Luke at that age. I also felt that this was my sign from Luke, just to show me that I should never doubt. The little boy was still standing there with his cart on my foot so I said..."And what is your name?" He looked up with that huge smile again and said in a sweet little voice..."Luke." I said... "What did you say?" and he said more excitedly this time... "Luke". I said..."Your name is Luke?" and he shook his head yes and just strolled away towards his dad. So for clear verification I asked his dad..."Is your little boy's name Luke?" The dad said "Yes this is Luke." Then the dad and his little boy started walking towards their car. By this time Robin had parked our car and was walking up to the sale. I said...."Look at that little boy over there in the orange shirt getting in that car. His name is Luke." Robin said... "Oh my God!" Then Robin said... "You see, you have no reason to doubt." I said... "Yes, you are right, that was definitely a sign from Heaven. I bet Terrie told Luke he had better send me a sign because I was doubting all that I believed in."

I will miss Terrie and her caring and supportive emails, as I know many, many others will. Her "Thank You" email was usually the first one I received after delivery of the newsletter. She always would praise my work, and thank me for the newsletter, and thank me for anything that she had submitted. I will miss her, but as much as I miss her, and as much as it saddens me that she is no longer here, I am so happy for her that she is sharing eternity with her Joey. I keep playing the scene over and over in my mind of how wonderful it must have been when Terrie and Joey saw each other from a distance and ran to each other's arms. Yes, ran.... no more wheelchair, no more pain, no more longing to see her Joey. Then Joey reaching for her 'young again' hand and both of them walking towards the light.

I have regained my faith in life and my faith in death. I know that somehow, someway, somewhere our children are reaching out and letting us know they are all okay. And somehow, someway, somewhere we have to keep their memories alive by sharing moments from their lives on earth as well as moments from their lives in Heaven.

In mid January Terrie made several submissions for the newsletter. She has never before submitted that much at one time. She will have something for Joey in just about every newsletter from now till a year from now. It is so strange how things work out. This is no coincidence. Because of those submissions Terrie will continue to keep her Joey's memory alive all the way from Heaven, and that will be..... her sign to let us know she is here.

© 2015 Christine & Robin Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Lucas Christopher Ross "Luke"
October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
Acute Bronchopneumonia


A few minutes after his birth.....
I could hear his announcing scream.
I couldn't believe he was finally here,
The realization of my dream.

A few hours after his birth.....
I held him so close to my chest.
Somehow that little boy let me see,
A special love that never left.

A few days after his birth.....
I held his tiny little hand.
I told him there would be lots of things
That I would help him to understand.

A few weeks after his birth.....
He had that sparkle in his eyes,
And when he showed me that little smile,
I thought that I would surely die.

A few months after his birth.....
He was just beginning to learn.
He didn't like me to go away,
And he cried until I returned.

A few years after his birth......
I still couldn't believe he was mine.
We talked and laughed and went for walks.
We had so many special times..

A few after.....

A few minutes after his death.....
I didn't know I needed to scream.
I thought that he was still safe and here...
I didn't know the truth of my dream.

A few hours after his death.....
I felt a strangeness within my chest.
Something was wrong that I couldn't see.
God! I didn't know that he had left.

A few days after his death.....
I held his cold and lifeless hand.
There were so very many things
That I could not fully understand.

A few weeks after his death.....
That sparkle stolen from my eyes,
No longer to see his beautiful smile.
I never, ever thought that he would die.

A few months after his death.....
There was so much I needed to learn.
I was confused when he went away,
And I still waited for his return.

A few years after his death.....
I still wish that he could be mine,
To talk and laugh and go for walks.
I miss those special moments in time.

A few after.....

A few minutes after MY death......
Once again I will hear him scream,
"Hey Mom, it's me, I'm over here,
And Mom, this time it's not a dream"

A few hours after MY death.......
I'll hold him close again to my chest.
He'll look at me and say... "Now see?",
It doesn't seem so long since I left."

A few days after MY death.....
He will gently take me by the hand,
And show me all the glorious things,
And help me to understand.

A few weeks after MY death.....
I'll see that sparkle in his eyes.
Once again he'll warm me with his smile,
And say... "You see, Mom, I didn't die".

A few months after MY death.......
Together we'll have so much to learn.
We'll never have to go away,
Or long for each other's return.

A few years after MY death.....
Once again he will finally be mine.
We'll talk and laugh and go for long walks,
Because, we'll have nothing...... but time.

© 2003 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Find and be found to discover your.....
The name LUCAS means Bringer of Light


I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

I need a sign to let me know you're here
'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear
And private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years
And football teams are kissing Queens
And losing sight of having dreams
In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels

~ Songwriters: Monahan, Pat / Colin, Charles / Stafford, James W / Underwood, Scott Michael © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

"Calling All Angels" is the title of a 2003 song by the rock band Train. It was included on the band's third studio album, My Private Nation.

The song was the first to be released from My Private Nation in 2003 and peaked at #19 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. It also spent three weeks atop the Billboard Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks chart that same year.

"Calling All Angels" was nominated for two Grammy Awards at the ceremony held in February 2004. The song has also been prominent in pop culture appearing in several television shows including One Tree Hill and as the theme song in the intro for the short lived medical drama 3 lbs. Train also performed the song at the 2006 Pepsi Super Bowl Smash.

The song was an unofficial anthem of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim baseball team; it was played at Angel Stadium before every game during the 2010 season, while the video screen showed a montage of the team's history (in addition, the band performed the song live and in person prior to the Home Run Derby of the 2010 All-Star Game, which was held at Angel Stadium).

This song was performed on the CSI:NY episode "Second Chances", and during the third season premiere of "Smallville".

The song was also briefly incorporated into Train's cover of "Joy to the World" for the 2012 holiday album A Very Special Christmas: 25 Years Bringing Joy to the World.

(see a special presentation of this song in the NEWS SECTION, near the end of the newsletter)



Rochelle "Terrie" Ann Whiteman
May 06, 1944 - February 07, 2015

Our fellow parent in grief, Terrie Whiteman, went to the hospital on January 25th because of one of her episodes of COPD. She was transferred to ICU on January 29th and was put on a ventilator on February 1st. She remained on the ventilator with no improvement. She was taken off of the ventilator on February 6th. She continued to breathe on her own for a full day. On February 7th she took her last breath and joined her son Joey in Heaven.

Terrie will be missed so much by all of us that knew and loved her. Through her we learned all about the life and death of her son Joey. She was an active member of the Bringer of Light Newsletter. We grieved with her in the loss of her son Joey. She also grieved with all of us in the loss of our children. Terrie lived in sorrow without her son Joey for over 12 years before joining him in Heaven. Joey died at the age of 21 on September 3, 2002.

We miss and love you Terrie. We know your reunion with Joey is wonderful. Rest in peace.

Visit HEAVENLY REUNIONS by clicking below, then scroll down to near the end of the page to the HEAVENLY REUNIIONS SECTION........





Aaron Kurtz 31
Adam Delong 18
Austin Joliff 10mos
Benjamin Smith 18
Brandon Beshada 25
Craig Watson 21
Damo Carver 19
Davey Dunavant 9
Jill Gregory 35
Justin Pecco 23
Kaylin Matthews 20
Michael Toth 27
Patti Rawls 54
Robert BOBBY Digan 18
Sean Douglas 36
Sean Stenzel 27


Aaron Kurtz 31
Alyssa Estavez 23
Bradford (Wayne) Wells 42
Brandon 11mos
Brandon Sgaggero 29
Brian Parker 27
Brittany Guleff 24
Christopher Faller 7
Colin Stephens 22
Dustin Ellis 16
James Dewitt 34
Jason Dunn 22
Jenny Robinson 31
Jimmy Stokes 21
Joshua Hedglin 18
Joshua Jones 19
Ruth Edwards 54
Shelly Beam 32
Tina McQuaig 27

Christopher Ronald Faller
7-1/2 years
May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
Maria, Christopher's mommy forever


We miss your beautiful brown eyes, so full of life....
Your joyous laughter, so wonderful to hear....
Your beautiful boyish smile....
Your warm and heartfelt embraces....
Your loving kisses....
Your way of being a boy through and through.
You had a tremendous amount of love in your little heart,
So when you left us, it tore us apart.
You loved your legos, your micro machines,
Your action figures, your army stuff....
Truly a boy through and through.
You brought us so much happiness in your short time here,
Even in times of trouble and in times of pain,
Your smile just kept shining on.
No more pain for you now,
But lots of pain for us in losing you.
Now you are in heaven, and I hope to see you soon.
With all my love, for always,

Mommy Please visit Christopher's special Heaven day web page here --

Dustin James Ellis
smoke inhailation, due to housefire
Melanie, Dustin's Mom


What is dying?
A ship sails and I stand watching
till he fades on the horizon,
and someone at my side says "He is gone."

"Gone where?" I ask.
Gone from my sight, that is all.
He is just as large as when I saw him.
Diminished sized and loss of sight is in me, not in him.

And just at the moment when
someone at my side says, "He is gone,"
There are others who are watching him coming
and other voices take up a glad shout, saying, "There he comes!"

~ Author Unknown

Patti Rawls
(in Heaven with her son Dustin)
Age at death 55
March 2, 1956 / Dec. 10, 2010
Submitted by
Helen Wallace, Mother (and grandmother of Dustin)

Dear Patti,

Time passes so fast and when I realized today that on March 2, 2015 you would have been 59 years old I was a bit surprised. My goodness that is almost 60. How could I have a child 59 years old? Oh well, I just looked at my age and now I understand. Talking about time going fast it has been a little over 4 years since Iíve seen you and I would like at least one more visit with you but I know one would not be enough. But I know the day is coming when we will be together forever. Now you not only have Dustin with you but Billy Ray is there too. Can you believe he is there? It was such a shock to all of us and now Gloria is going through such terrific heart break so tell Billy Ray to send her a sign that he is still with her. There is so much going on and I will catch you up when we see each other again. Your birthday will always be an important day to me.

I will always love you, Mother

Michael Toth
4 March 1983 - 9 November 2010
Nancy, Mike's Mom

I love you and miss you and hope that you are happy, Mike, always & forever!

Justin Tyler Pecco
March 20 1988 - July 6 2011
accidental adverse drug reaction
Deborah Santos

Justin was born on the first day of spring March 20th,1988 and he was also my youngest son. All three of our birthday's were always celebrated in March, beginning with Justin's on the 20th, then mine on the 24th and my husbands on the 26th. For years my mom would stroll through the door with a big cake with all of our names on it along with roses, balloons and wrapped gifts and cards for each of us. What happy memories I have of our birthday's in March that I will cherish forever in my heart. After I lost Justin, the next six months seemed to get worse. My mom's cancer declined and I moved in with her to take care of her up until she passed away in February, seven months after Justin. I was honored to take care of my mother and would not have changed a thing. March is a very special month for my husband and I and we continue to celebrate all three of our birthdays and will always be thankful we had our mom for all of those years, and most of all our Justin...

Brandon Wesley Sgaggero
April 7, 1978 - March 6, 2008
narcotic intoxication
Tammie Sgaggero-Brandon's Mom

Brandon, I don't do dedications very well. I just want you to know that I dedicate the rest of my life living each day the best that I can without you. Looking for signs that ensure me you are still here with me and encourage me to get up and keep going. I love you. Ma.

Tina Marie McQuaig
5/5/72 3/15/00

My Precious Little Girl

I had a lovely little girl that God gave me
A child whom I love so very dearly
I was there whenever she cried for me
I was there when she skinned her little knee
I was there when she took her first walk
I was there when she needed to talk
I was there when she first went to school
I was there when she learned the golden rule
I was there to watch her get her diploma.
She's my precious little girl Tina.

But then one day she grew up to b
e I couldn't believe what my eyes did see
My little girl had become a woman like me
She got married and had a child, a son
Oh how he was like her morning sun
I was there to witness this special fun.

My child is gone now, she is no where to be found
We've searched and searched the low and high grounds
We've searched the rivers and forests too
For 3 long years without a single clue
And so I asked the Lord what should I do?

I cried to God everyday and this is what I had to say
Dear Lord, Please let me know what happened to my child.
I can not bear these days knowing she is out in the wild.
My worst fear Lord, is that she will never be found
Oh please, dear Lord let me know, where is my child?

God answered my prayers as He always does.
The police came to tell us what they did believe
My child's remains have finally been found
Oh mercy me, is she truly gone now?

After 13 long weeks of waiting for results
The phone call came with the answers we loathe
DNA testing proved that this was my precious child
She was murdered and the killer has not yet been found.

So after 15 years my prayers continue, as I patiently wait
Dear Lord, please help us find the person whom
Is responsible for taking my dear child away
So that we may have Justice once and for all.

As I continue living on this earth
With my life in Your hands
I know that my child waits
With wide open arms.
I thank you Lord for giving me
My precious little girl, Tina Marie.

Written by Linda Rice
July 2, 2004 ©

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to be placed in a future newsletter.



Sean Ernest Stenzel
3/13/1984 (DOB) 7/31/2011 (DOD)
Car Accident

"I think being able to write these past memories down and share them helps so much with our healing process. " ~ Mary Stenzel


Joey Whiteman
21 years, 360 days
auto accident
blunt force trauma to aoerta
Joey's Mom (in Heaven with her son)

I've learned that people will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, But people will never forget how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou

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Sean Ernest Stenzel
3/13/1984 (DOB) 7/31/2011 (DOD)
Car Accident
Mary Stenzel

Our dear Seane boy,

It has been over 3 1/2 years since you were here with us. There isn't a day that goes by that we haven't thought about you and shed a tear. You are missed so deeply and will always be loved completely and unconditionally. Your little girl was just a little over 1 1/2 when you left us, and she has grown into such a beautiful little five year old. She not only looks like you, but she has your awesome outgoing personality and shares your love of people. Like you everyone she meets just loves her. Another trait she has of you is how much she loves music and loves singing. We know you are her special Guardian Angel. We are so thankful and blessed that God left us with a part of you in Lili. She will never completely take your place, our dear son, but having her with us so often helps so much to fill some of the void without you. Being you were our only child, she is the only grandchild we will ever have so like you she is the center of our lives. You were taken from us way too young and Lili missed out in knowing her wonderful daddy, but she will always know you through us. We speak your name often and feel you near us, our baby boy. We love any signs that you can send us to let us know you are with us. Your best friend, Josh, is so good to both your daughter and us. He always wants to be "Uncle Josh" to Lili. He misses you so much too. There are so many things we could say, but the most important thing we want you always to know is how much you were loved on earth and how much you are loved and missed in Heaven. Please rest in peace our Seane boy until we can meet again.

With all of our love,

Mom and Dad

Sean Stenzel's mom Mary

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Joey Whiteman
21 years, 360 days
auto accident
blunt force trauma to aoerta
Joey's Mom (in heaven with her son)

The Celebration of the Life of Joey Whiteman

Please join with me as I will take you through a story book of my life.

I was born on Monday, September 8, 1980, at 8:08 AM. This was a planned birth for I was a C-section baby. My Dad was the photographer and was allowed at that time to tape it. I weighed 7 pounds, nine ounces and 20 1/2 inches long. I had some dark brown hair and blue eyes. I was very lucky to be born in a new hospital, where they let the baby stay in the room with their moms and stay all night, .... I used to sleep on my mom's shoulder so she could kiss me whenever she got the urge(always). I had lots of visitors and couldn't wait to go home to my own crib, toys and especially my older brother Jon-Michael. He used to sleep in that crib, and now that he was three, he had to sleep in the big boys bed. we slept in the same room and Mom and Dad said he was supposed to listen for me in case I cried during the night. That really wasn't true, it was beacause he wanted to sleep in their bed. Oh well, he fell for it. Jon-Michael was a great roomate, he was my brother and my best friend till the end. When I arrived home, I was greeted by my grandparents (both sides).

Later my Aunts and uncles, cousins and friends of my parents came to visit.

The first big holiday was Christmas, we had a tree, with beautiful lights on it, garland and ornaments. Lots of presents and stockings hung on the door.

I didn't get a lot of presents, mostly money for later, but I did get stuffed animals and rattles, to entertain me.

Our lives were very normal, Mom stayed home, Daddy went to work and Jon-Michael started Nursery School. He was only gone 2 days a week and three hours a day, so I wasn't ever alone. We never had babysitters, they took us everywhere they went, unless we weren't invited. That porto-crib was at the bowling alley, every Friday night, while mom and dad bowled, and Jon-Michael sat by my side, with a toy or book. We went on vacations every year,my half-sister came with us on vacations too. She lived with her Mom the rest of the time.

We went to visit my Aunt Susan and Uncle Steve in Rhode Island every year, for 11 years at least My other Aunt Joan and Uncle Larry had all the parties at their house, birthday, mother and father's day. We even had my first birthday party there, because it was outside and she had a big house.

When I first started School, it was an elementary school in Hatfield, then we moved to Harleysville where I continued my education through High School. I played sports from three years old, T-Ball, soccer were my favorites. Then I went on to play baseball for both schools as you'll see in the pictures ahead. I played soccer for two teams, travel team and High School. I was planning on going to college to play, but changed my mind and decided to work in an office where I became a master scheduler on the computer for a carpet company.

Going back to Hatfield, I too went to nursery school, twice a week for three hours, where I met lots of friends learned how to play with other children and have little plays, and learn crafts. This one in particular I left for my mom to find after I went to heaven, it's called a SIGN. I leave them all the time, she doesn't realize it, but I'm always there.

The older I got I was lucky to have JM's friends except me as their own age. After I was through playing sports in school, my new project was how many concerts I could go to, Mom found all the ticket stubs in my wallet after I left for my new journey, wow she said, no wonder he didn't have any money. My favorite concert was the Dave Matthews band concerts. I was a groupie. My room is like a studio, music of all kinds, stereo, CD's TV, and DVD's. Love music, also love drawing, my hobbie was drawing tattoos. Never had one, but like drawing them. After I died, my brother had one of mine tattooed on his arm.

When I was seventeen, my parents bought me a black T-Bird, love of my life.

My dad built a ramp for us in the front so we could skateboard, got really good at it, until the township made us take it down. Hazzard they said. We played golf,horseshoes and friendly baseball games as we got older. Then girls entered my life, my first true love from high school, a girlfriend from class and then after high school was Amanda, who I was with for the next three years. I was driving her car when it crashed. She was the last person I saw before I went to heaven. I left her at 5:30 and died at 5:32 in a single car crash.

I left behind, my little love Skylee, she was seven months old, Eli, the kitten, and Pepper, our first dog. I called for her a year after I left, so she is here with me now, not to worry, I know the others are being taken care of.

Mom put a stuffed black lab on my chest so that Skylee would keep me company in the casket.

My funeral was on my 22nd birthday, it was the biggest party I ever had.

Mom told people that if they wanted to put something in the coffin they could, there were stuffed animals, cards and pictures of everyone. That made me very happy. People stood up and said nice things about me and my cousin Arthur gave the Eulogy.

The one thing I do miss on earth were the holidays. Another were the vacations, different places at different times

I now rest with my grandparents, cousin Marty,cousin Danny, Pepper, and many friends.

Heaven is a beautiful place, don't worry about me, I am at peace amd looking down upon you and missing all of you with all of my love,


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Benjamin Smith
March 1, 1988-July 21,2006
respiratory failure
Charisse Smith-Thomasson

Ben's Birthday

This day
This dreaded day
Before highly anticipated,
I wake up cataloging the others
Wearing your first cake,
Cookie cakes and steak dinners,
Dalmatian cakes
Pancake breakfasts
Carloads of boys going to the park
The, and best friends, celebrating a milestone.
The world holds promise, the golden age of independence, future, and choice.
We are so proud.
A year later, we are in another world, one without you.
Now, what do we do? We grieve the lost hope and possibilities.
We ask why?
We make bouquets of festive flowers, and take green balloons to where you lay.
Your precious sister and I sit on the ground arranging flowers and talking.
Your friends join us. You are remembered. You are loved.
We scream silently, wanting you back, and wondering how, and even why we are
standing here, why you are gone.
The world keeps turning, and we keep looking back, wishing.
Daily, we miss you our darling boy.
Happy Birthday my baby.

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Randy Reed Hecox
30 Years
1/7/69 to 7/23/99
Ali Hecox

I was at the lake cabin and sitting out side. I had not laughed or smiled since Randy had died. It was about 9 months after I found Randy and I learned of T.C.F. But anyway this little yellow butterfly kept flying around me. Finally he sat on my arm and walked up my arm and it tickled me with his tiny legs and i laughed till I cried. He kept on and went to my face cheek and just looked me over so good. He was not scared of me. I just felt like that was my Randy and he came to see me and to say he was ok.? I have that story in a book that was printed with stories like that. I also hear music like none I ever heard on earth. I have had many signs from Randy. He uses Hawks alot of the times.

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written or said by our children

Stephen Hasbrouck
Cardiac arrest
Maryann Hasbrouck
Stephen Hasbrouck

Perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most
Forgot how it feels
Well almost ....
No one to blame,always the same
Open my eyes, wake up
Wake up in flames
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me see the light
Smashed up my sanity
smashed up my integrity
Smashed up what I believe in
Smashed up what's left of me.
Smashed up everything ,smashed up all that's true
Gonna smash myself to pieces.
I don't know what else to do
Covered with hope and Vaseline
Still can't fix this broken machine
Watching the whole, it used to be mine
Just watching in burn, in my steady systematic decline
Of the trust I will betray
Give it to me and I'll throw it away
After everything I've done, I hate myself for what I've become
It took you to make me realize ,it took you to make me see the light
I tried ,I gave up ,I don't know what else to do

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Justin Lee Hocker
9/10/1981 - 06/25/2006
Murdered by Brother-In-Law during a divorce
while returning his son's to their Mother
Tami Hocker, Mother of Justin Lee Hocker

When Justin was taken from this world, it was the worst Day of My Life and continues to be! I did not know how I was going to make it and go on, but he had two sons that needed to have his memory in their lives so that they would know their Daddy for many years to come. I now have a new normal of life that will never be the way it was prior to Justin's passing. I keep his webpage going and post pictures for His Birthday on Earth, the Day he Passed and at Christmas and these days always bring sadness to my heart. Justin was an excellent Father, Son and Friend to Many. Domestic violence changes so many lives forever.

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Joey Whiteman
21 years, 360 days
auto accident/blunt force trauma to aoerta
Joey's Mom (in heaven with her son)

The other night I had a dream, it was in our old house and everyone was there for some kind of party I guess.

This time it was very different, my Mother died in 1989 and my father died in 1997. I hadn't had a dream about my mother since she died and always felt sad for my mother and I were so close. I had dreamed before about my father. This time it was different, Joey brought my mother to me, so young, so beautiful with short dark curly hair, I kept repeating how I think I'll get my hair done just like hers. It was so nice to see Mom Mom, that's what he called her and Joey together.

I don't know what the dream meant, but I sure am happy he did bring her to me, what a wonderful surprise.

I love you Joey and I know how much you loved Mom Mom and Pop Pop too.

Love, Ma Ma


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Sean Ernest Stenzel
3/13/1984 (DOB) 7/31/2011 (DOD)
Car Accident
Mary Stenzel

One funny story I remember (funny but at the time I was pretty mad) is when Sean traded his new leather tennis shoes to his classmate for a worn out old pair of shoes. He was probably in third grade and came home with these old sloppy shoes which were so worn out and way too big and gave his friend his new leather tennis shoes. It was all about the "name" of his friends shoes and no concern of the condition or size. I was an upset mamma the night he came home. Now I look back and laugh about it. He always had a thing about brand names as a youngster. As he got older, he grew out of this. As a young adult when he bought his own work clothes, he would buy jeans and shirts from the thrift store for work! It wasn't like that when he was young when mom and dad bought his shoes and clothes!! Today if he were still here, I would gladly buy him any shoes or clothes he would desire no matter what age he would be. As I am typing this, I am thinking maybe he did this out of kindness feeling sorry for his friend, as Sean had such a big heart!

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Jason Christopher Dunn
Accidental Gun Shot
Susan Dunn

Jason and his Dad started to take Tae Kwon Do when he was about 11 years old. Along with his best friend Darrin. Twice a week they would go to class and learn as much as they could. It was very physical and he learned how to protect himself and compete in tournaments. At the age of 17 years and 5 months... he won his black belt. He worked very hard for it. He did some teaching at the class but he was not really into that.

He loved competing in tournaments. It was always good to see him win his medals....he didn't let that go to his head...he did now and then...but not often. He never thought of losing. It just was the way he looked at competing. Being 6 feet 5 inches helped with the kicks. He could pick a peanut off the top of your head with his toe, and not touch a hair.

His most proud moment of himself was a tournment where he as up against a 3rd place National winner... He was worried...the guy was 15 years his senior. But he didn't go in with a losing attitude. He went to win.....and Win he did. That smile on his face lasted forever. Oh how I miss that smile.

I was proud of him each and every day of his life.

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Christopher Ronald Faller
7-1/2 years
May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
Maria, Christopher's mommy forever

Memorial Pages by Christopher's Mommy

I have been trying my best to help other bereaved parents create Memorial pages for their Angels.

Our son Christopher passed away after developing post-transplant lymphomatic disease after having a successful piggyback heart transplant. Needless to say, it has been a devastating time for us. It is something that we will never "get over".

Christopher was only 7-1/2 years old when he left us. He was our first-born son, and he suffered from heart problems since shortly after birth. He was such a huge part of our lives. So many hopes and dreams of ours have been shattered. So much of our future was taken from us. Everything has changed.

I have kept wondering why God would leave me here and take my precious little boy. The only answer is that I must have more to do. One of these things is maybe to try to help other bereaved parents in remembering their children who have gone too soon.

I create these pages free of charge, in honor of my son Christopher. Since I do not yet have the talent for creating some of these lovely graphics myself, I rely on the generosity and talents of some other angel moms who help me with that part of it. Also, Tina's mom, Linda, helps me tremendously with the music for these pages as well. And of course, I truly believe that Christopher and the other angels are helping me in this venture. With everyone's help, I will do my best to make sure that none of our angels is ever forgotten.

If you are interested, please e-mail me at and let me know what you are looking for to honor your angel, and together we can build a special Memorial page for your angel.

The web pages that I have made for angels so far are too numerous to list on here, but if you are interested in seeing some of my angel pages, you can access them from this page --

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The question answered is chosen from a list of questions
in the news section and also on the submission page.

Dennis C. Murphy, Jr. & Matthew Shaun Murphy
28 & 31
2/16/81 & 11/29/82
vehicle accident

How would you define the grief that is felt with the loss of a child?

I would say it's like someone has stuck a knife in your chest and they just keep stabbing over and over. On 12/26/09 our oldest son Dennis Murphy Jr. was killed on his way home just a few miles from home. And from the dreadful knock at the door your life is for ever changed. You see we decided to have two children so one child wouldn't be alone. I think our 2nd son is what made us push on for a little normal piece of life and then on 11/1/14 our 2nd child Matthew Shaun was killed in a vehicle accident also. We have ask ourselves how could God do this to us, why why why. People have said well they are back together again. My husband and I look at each other as if to say are we dreaming? Is this a bad nightmare. You really don't want to go on, then people say, God is going to use you two in his master plan. At this point for me if I could wipe November & December off the calendar I would. We did so many things as a family and now you don't want to go to anything where your other family members are going to be because part of your family is not there so you get the pity looks, the afraid to ask questions, the times when you say your child's name and they look awkward because after all he is dead why do you want to talk about them, because they are and were our children, they did exist and they will for ever be in our hearts.

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(See list of questions in the NEWS section and/or the SUBMISSIONS page)


Lisa Elaine Mewbourne
9/23/65 ~ 4/23/91
gunshot wound to head
Faye Mewbourne Martin

Lisa and I had loved "The Rose" and had cried together through the movie starring Bette Midler. I had forever after loved this song. And now, when the song began playing I knew that the time was right for my angel to write me that letter. What better way for her to reach out to me than through this poignant song with its story of the tragic death of a beautiful young woman? While the music played, I quickly gathered some of Lisa's things and placed her picture in front of me. Then I lit a candle and began writing. Before I lifted my hand, I had filled five notebook pages. So, if your precious one has died, and you think you can't go on -- it is to you that I submit this "Letter from Lisa." May it minister to your aching heart

Dear Mom,

I'm with Grandmother Esther. She helped me so much at first. Comforted me. I came over feeling so lost and so alone. But she loved me and taught me the love of Jesus - what it is really all about. I had forgotten, you see, in dealing with the constant struggles of earth. I wanted to go home - to my real home. I was tired of Diabetes, tired of disappointments, tired of all the struggles. I needed to rest, to sit at Jesus' feet and to learn all the things I could not learn on earth. I needed to be surrounded by love, pure love, God's love. And I needed to be with my baby. I have a baby daughter, Mom. Her name is Esther Faye. She is like the angels, Mom. She is like the baby in the seashell in your dream about heaven . pink and fat and blonde and, oh, Mom, she radiates the love of God. She lifts both little arms upward and praises our Lord and Savior. She smiles so sweetly. I hold her tight in my arms and love her with a love that is more precious than love on earth could ever be. I wanted to raise her myself and the Lord is allowing me to do this.

I had a lot of learning to do before I was allowed to be with her. Having never lived on the earth, she knows only pure spiritual love. She knows none of the sorrow of earth. She will never be sick and never die. And, Mom, neither will I, now. And one day very soon you will be with us. You will romp with us in the flowered meadows of Heaven. You will be my mom and my beloved companion for eternity. I know you have suffered terribly for what I did. I ask you, Mom, I beg you, please forgive me and let it go. Give all the pain and misery to Christ and let Him carry it for you. Your little shoulders will never be big enough for such a burden as I've caused you. Please, please forgive me, Mom, and know that I love you now as I've always loved you, with a love and a heart now as pure as spun gold.

I do have Jocko here, Mom, and Spicer and Chrissy. We have so much fun together. They run and play with Grandmother Esther, Esther Faye and me. Sometimes they ask me with their eyes about you, and I tell them soon . soon. I love you, Mom. We all love you. We all want the best for you and what is right for you. We want you to be happy there as well as here. Mom, you bring with you here what you are there. Give of yourself, my darling. Give of yourself till there is no more to give and then give some more. Love is all there is, Mom. It is the only way . the only answer. The love of Christ is in us all. We just have to find it.

I pray for you, Mom, all the time. I pray for your happiness and for you to find and give love . not perfect love . that is only possible where I am. But, the love there on earth can teach you and guide you to Heavenly principles. Forgive all those who have ever hurt you, darling Mother. Not to forgive is not to love God. Carry no grudges, harbor no anger or ill feelings in your heart. The mom I know and love has a heart too big to let those evils stay for very long. Drive them out, Mom; and let in the love. Let the love flow from me to you. Feel my love, dearest Mother. Feel how my heart yearns for you . yearns to hold you in my arms again and kiss you and be with you forever. Let the love flow then from you to all others . to your husband and to your new daughter, my little sister, Melissa. Remember, Mom, when I used to tell you I wanted a little sister. Well, through your union with Melissa's father you have given me one. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for Melissa Ann. Yes, Mom, the answer is yes. You and you alone are meant to be the mother of Melissa. Her own mother was unworthy. Now you have the hard task of guiding her little footsteps on the road to healing. How do you do that? With love, Mom, with the perfect love of Christ. Be guided with love in all that you do for and with her. She will know when your love for her is pure and God-given. And one day, Mom, Melissa will hold you in Heaven and thank you for being a beacon of light to her, a source of love and life. She can only be healed with love.

I am happy now, Mom, with a true happiness I could never have known there. I could only have caused you and others more misery and heartache. To hurt those I loved was unbearable. I only wanted to love you, but those other hateful things kept coming through. Now, I can perfectly love you. Whenever you want to feel my love, just sit quietly with your little stuffed lamb and feel the love of your Little Lamb in Heaven. I will always be with you, Mom. We are never far apart. You have only to ask and I will be there. I will see you through, Mom. Trust in me to do that. I'm strong now. I've learned so much. I can be strong enough for us both. Just lean back, my sweet, and rest in my arms . and rest in Jesus' arms. We will not leave you or forsake you. Your heart and my heart beat as one and forever will. I was one with you in the womb and will always be one with you in spirit. Not only did our bodies mesh in the womb, Mom, but so also did our spirits. That is why a mother cries so when her child "dies." She feels she has lost a part of herself both physically and spiritually. But, Honey, it isn't so. The part of you that was me has simply gone on ahead. I know that isn't considered right in the earthly mind, but in the Heavenly realm, the spirit that comes is always the "right" spirit. God makes no mistakes, Mom. Never forget that.

You have much to look forward to there and to be happy about. Remember the good times we had, Mom. Don't dwell on the bad. You and I had some wonderful times together. Remember how we used to laugh together. So many times, Mom. Remember them and think on them. Don't let negative thoughts consume you. Look at my picture and see my smile and hear my laughter. Close your eyes and you will see and hear me. I am never far away. Holy, Mom, our love is holy. It is God-given for eternity.

Love your husband, Mom, and submit to him as the Christly head of your home. Let him be the ruler of your heart. Let him see the love in you and not the fear or anger. He, too, can be won with love. He is called of God to do great works on earth. He would be surprised to know how great. He will give hope where there is no hope, love where there is no love. He will be a great warrior for God. But, now his tender, hurting spirit must be nourished with love, your love and God's love. He is on a painful journey and he has far to go and much to learn. But, learn he will, through God's good graces. He will soften in time and be the husband you want him to be. He loves you dearly and will always love and protect you. Don't blow it, Mom! Stay with him! Love him for both his faults and his goodness. Appreciate his good qualities. Be a good wife for him . meet his earthly needs and his spiritual needs. You will be a winning team there as well as here. God has much work for you and Rob, both on earth and in Heaven.

I gotta go now, lovely Mother. We can do this again when the time is right for us both. Rest in my love, precious one, and in God's love. I love you all the world and everything in it.

Your daughter forever,

Lisa, "God's Little Lamb"

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Adam R. Fiock
July 1st 1981. October 6th, 2007
Self inflicted GSWH
Christine Adam's M♡M

Dear Christine,

Thank you.🌹. I love that story about Luke. I played the piano also. When I was living with my ex husband, I wanted a piano so bad, I bought an old upright piano that looked just as you described.

Allison learned to play on it. Classical music is reflected in so many commercials, etc.


Christine, Adam's proud m♡m

Christopher Ronald Faller
7-1/2 years
May 7, 1990 - March 24, 1998
viral tumors after successful piggyback heart transplant
Maria, Christopher's mommy forever

Dear Christine - I absolutely love the addition of the children's photos! it is always nice to be able to place a face to a name. I read your story of Luke and his piano alternating between laughing at him and his friends moving the piano, to getting the chills when reading about you hearing Luke playing such beautiful music on his piano, to tears in reading about your house now being so silent now. I have a hard time still getting used to the silence, but then sometimes I just crave the peace and quiet. sigh. it seems that nothing really will satisfy me most of the time.

I wanted to thank you for including Christopher's statue in this issue of your newsletter. I hope that someone else gets inspired by reading what we were able to do in memory of our son. I have other memorial ideas that I can share. just let me know if you need anything else for this section of your newsletter.

love and hugs,


Christopher's mommy forever

Adam R. Fiock
July 1st 1981. October 6th, 2007
Self inflicted GSWH
Christine Adam's M♡M


Thank you for the sign story. The same thing happened to me - a butterfly just kept6 "standing" on my car's antenna. I had to eventually move thinking that starting the car would scare it off.

It stayed there for a few more seconds after I started driving.

Christine, Adam's m♡m

Brian Joseph Parker & Timothy Patrick Parker
Brian was 27 & Timothy was 25
Brian's Birth---4/12/73 Timothy's Birth----4/5/75
Same Date of Death 3/22/01
Both of our Sons Brian and Timothy were killed in an Auto Accident Together
Pat Parker

Dear Christine,

I think of You and Your Sweet Angel Son Luke always.

I find it so hard to believe that our dear Friend Terrie Whiteman has left us for Heaven to be with her Sweet Son Joey. I had spoken to her a week or so before she died, and she said that I worried about her too much. A little after this, she was in the Hospital. I never got talk with her when she went to the Hospital, as she was on a ventilator with oxygen, and then she took a turn for the worse. I talked with Terrie on the net, and on the phone. She was one of my Best Friends, and we would talk for hours on the phone about our Sons, Joey, Brian and Tim. I am sure that Joey was at the Gates of Heaven to greet his dear Mom. I am sure that Terrie is dancing with her Sweet Boy Joey, and that she will be happy in Heaven Forever, as it was so hard her being in the wheelchair, and then losing her Sweet Boy Joey. I know it must be so hard for her Son JM and her husband John to be without her. She used to cook and bake them cookies even being in a wheelchair did not stop her determination to keep going. I am missing my Sweet Friend Terrie so very much, and and I know you too feel the same as me dear Christine.

Take Care and God Bless You, Robin and Emily. Hugs and Prayers, Pat, Mom of Brian and Tim in Heaven (with you Sweet Angel Son Luke, and our dear Friend Terrie) and Sean on Earth, and Grandma of Little Addie Marie. May the Force be with You Christine. I think our Boys playing with Star Wars Figures when they were little often.

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Our new photo album has a new section call HEAVENLY REUNIONS. This is a place to honor our parents that have joined their child/children in Heaven. We have two Bringer of Light Newsletter subscribers that have joined their children in Heaven. In 2010 Patti Rawls joined her son Dustin Rawls in Heaven. Patti's mom, Helene, is a subscriber to the newsletter and makes submissions in honor of her daughter Patti and her grandson Dustin. Terrie Whiteman joined her son Joey Whiteman in Heaven just last month. If you know of a Bringer of Light Newsletter former subscriber that has joined their child in Heaven, please let me know. You may see this new section by clicking on the HEAVENLY REUNIONS button below and then scrolling to the end of our children's photos:


Now on the submissions page there is a monthly calendar with all the sections and the names of the children who will be honored with a submission. Take a look at the NEW SUBMISSIONS MONTHLY CALENDAR to see your child's name or to see what section is still available in each month.

You may make a submission for any section and for any month up to a year in advance. Please see the monthly calendars on the submission page for availabilty.





1. What do you think Heaven is like?

2. Based on your personal experience what would you say to someone that has just lost their child and what hope could you give them?

3. How long has your child been gone physically and how long does it seem like your child has been gone? Explain

4. Do you feel as if your child has been forgotten by some family members and friends? Explain

5. Do you think our children that have died miss us? Explain

6. How has the death of your child changed you?

7. If you could choose to relive any day that you spent with your child, what day would you choose and why?

8. How would you define the grief that is felt with the loss of a child?

9. How has your life changed between the day your child died and now?

10. Does your child communicate with you from the other side? Explain


If you have ever made a submission to the Bringer of Light Newsletter or if you have provided your child's information, your child's name should appear at the top of the Dedications Section when it is their anniversary or birthday. If you have not provided your child's information you may do so by replying to the BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER email (please type INFORMATION in the subject line). You may also write a dedication to be included below the section names for your child's special dates to be placed in a future newsletter.


Performed by TRAIN

Click on the link below to view this presentation. Be sure to turn up your volume and maximize your screen. After viewing click your back button to return to the newsletter.

Special thanks for Bringer of Light Newsletter submissions this month:

Maria, Christopher's mommy forever
Melanie, Dustin's Mom
Helen Wallace, Mother of Patti and grandmother of Dustin
Nancy, Mike's Mom
Deborah Santos
Tammie Sgaggero, Brandon's Mom
Linda, Tina's Mom
Terrie White, Joey's Mom (together forever)
Mary Stenzel
Charisse Smith-Thomasson
Ali Hecox
Maryann Hasbrouck
Tami Hocker, Mother of Justin Lee Hocker
Susan Dunn
Yandell, Mom of Dennis & Matthew Murphy
Faye Mewbourne Martin
Christine, Adam's proud Mom
Pat Parker, Mom of Brian and Timothy Parker

Thanks also for all of the wonderful submissions that will be featured in an upcoming Bringer of Light newsletter. Those who submitted will be notified when their submission will be included in the newsletter and also which month it will be featured in. Everyone is encouraged to make submissions to be placed in a future newsletter for ANY of the catagories . You may do so by clicking on the 'submit button' below:

Music playing:


In honor of our children please click on the links below:

If you are not on the mailing list already and you would like to receive the free monthly BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER, just complete the form below:

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If your submission has appeared in a past Bringer of Light Newsletter, it may also appear again as an Encore Presentation.

Submissions are needed for many of the Bringer of Light Newsletter sections for future newsletters. YOU MAY SUBMIT UP TO A YEAR IN ADVANCE (just be sure to include the month your submission is for). Submissions are placed in the order that they are received and/or for a relevant month. Your submissions are the essence of the newsletter. So start typing and send in those submissions ASAP! Please go to the link below the section list to see a chart of available sections for future newsletters.

DEDICATIONS: Make a dedication to your child for their anniversary of birthday.

QUOTES: Share a quote relating to grief.

LETTERS TO HEAVEN: Write a letter to your child in Heaven.

LIFE STORY: Share the story of your child's life, your child's birth, your child's death, or all of these.

POETRY: Share a poem about your grief or your child.

SIGNS FROM THE OTHER SIDE: Share a sign that you or someone else received from your child.

IN THEIR OWN WORDS: Share a story, poem, quote, or anything written or spoken by your child.

MEMORIES: Share a special memory that you or someone else has of your child at any age.

DREAMS: Share a dream that you or someone else had of your child.

HUMOR: Share a funny memory you or someone else has of your child at any age.

PRIDE: Share an achievement, talent, unique characteristic, or anything that makes you proud of your child.

MEMORIALS: Share any way that you have memorialized your child.

QUESTION: Share your answer to one of the questions about grief.
(See list of questions in the NEWS section and/or the SUBMISSIONS page.

BLESSINGS: Share how you have been blessed at anytime in your life.

COMMENTS: Share a comment that you may have for any of the sections in the Bringer of Light newsletter.

When you enter the SUBMISSION PAGE there is a chart that will show the available sections so that you will know what is available to submit. The cart represents an entire year. You are invited to submit to any of the available sections and for any month. You may see the chart by clicking on the button below:



We would love to hear all about your child, or your grief, or your comments. You can participate in the BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER by submitting to the above sections. Your submission will be placed in a future newsletter.


Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross