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Fifteen Years in Heaven
April 3, 2016


Lucas Christopher Ross
"Luke"
October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
21
Acute Bronchopneumonia



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GOODBYE MY FRIEND





GOODBYE MY ANGEL

Luke has been gone from this earth for 15 years.... Something I never thought I would still be alive to say. In those early years I truly believed that I would not live very much longer, but here I am 15 years later. There is no explanation as to why I am alive and my son is dead. I have gone over it all, no less than a million times, in my head but the answer is always the same.... There is nothing that I can do about it.

In the past 15 years I have gained so much knowledge that I never wanted to gain. I'm so good at so many things now... like crying, screaming, cursing, hiding, but most of all I have become an expert at living with this unbelievable pain.

I am overwhelmed with sadness but also so happy that I had the privilege of knowing and loving such a wonderful little boy who grew up to be an extraordinary man. Luke and I had a very special relationship.... not only was he my son but he was my friend. He confided in me with his very deepest thoughts. I will forever and ever cherish this relationship that I had with my son, and I will forever and ever cherish this relationship that I still have with his spirit.

I miss my Luke so much...... The pain never ends, the years go on, and time drags and moves like lightning all at the same time. Grief is very mysterious and confusing. I was 47 years old when Luke died, I now am 62. I look in the mirror and I see the age in my face and the sorrow in my eyes. That sparkle I had at 47 has never returned. The years of grief, I feel, have aged me much more than normal. If Luke were here, I would have that sparkle in my eyes, that sparkle that will return when my journey here is done and I see my beloved Luke again. I may never see Luke again on this earth, but I always know that he is near. I know that I will see him again on the other side. That day is getting closer.....

2016 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001




IN MEMORY OF
Lucas Christopher Ross "Luke"
21
October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
Acute Bronchopneumonia







TIRED

I'm so tired of crying
because you're in another place.
I'm so tired of drying
all these tears upon my face.

I'm so tired of denying
that you're gone away from here.
I'm so tired of implying
that your spirit is very near.

I'm so tired of trying
to understand this awful pain.
I'm so tired of occupying
that place that keeps me sane.

I'm so tired of dying
over and over every day.
I'm so tired of sighing
knowing nothing is okay.

I'm so tired of buying
things you'll never get use.
I'm so tired of shying
away from what I know is true.

I'm so tired of prying
for answers from my lonely soul.
I'm so tired of eying
all that used to make me whole.

I'm so tired of lying
to myself to make it through.
I'm so tired of spying
into dreams to hear from you.

I'm so tired of purifying
thoughtless things that others say.
I'm so tired of supplying
no reason why you went away.

I'm so tired of crying
because you're in another place.
I'm so tired of drying
all these tears upon my face.


2005 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001







I'M GETTING GOOD

I'm getting good at crying
In the middle of the night.
And I'm getting good at lying
Saying... "Everything's alright".

I'm getting good at listening
When it seems no one is there.
And I'm getting good at wishing
For... no more pain to bear.

I'm getting good at burning
Special candles on his case.
And I'm getting good at yearning
For him to come back to this place.

I'm getting good at missing
All the things he used to say.
And I'm getting good at kissing,
His cold urn throughout the day.

I'm getting good at cussing
Everything that has gone wrong.
And I'm getting good at fussing
Because he's been away too long.

I'm getting good at walking
To the door though he's not there.
And I'm getting good at talking
To what seems to be the air.

I'm getting good at dreaming
That he really didn't die.
And I'm getting good at screaming
His name up into the sky.

I'm getting good at hoping
That my time is over soon.
And I'm getting good at coping
With this open stabbing wound.

I'm getting good at hiding
All this pain within my heart.
And I'm getting good at biding
All this time that we're apart.

I'm getting good at waiting
For his calls that never come.
And I'm getting good at hating
All the things that I've become.

I'm getting good at believing...
That this life on earth is sad.
But I'm getting good at grieving
So... I guess I should be glad.

I'm getting good at knowing
Things don't always turn out right.
But He's getting good at showing
That he's still here in my life.


2004 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001







STILL ALIVE

I wish you could have known me
When my son was still alive.
The way I always had a smile
And a sparkle in my eyes.

I wish you could have known me
When my life was full of joy.
Back when I had everything,
Especially my boy.

I wish you could have known me
Before my sweet son died.
I wish I could have known you too
When your child was still alive.


2005 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001








GOODBYE MY FRIEND

Oh we never know where life will take us
I know it's just a ride on the wheel
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel

So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
It's okay now
Goodbye my friend

I've seen a lot things that make me crazy
And I guess I held on to you
We could've run away and left well maybe
But it wasn't time and we both knew

So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the love you gave me through all the years
Will take away these tears
I'm okay now
Goodbye my friend

Life's so fragile and love's so pure
We can't hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we never know why

But I'm okay now
Goodbye my friend
You can go now
Goodbye my friend


~ AS PERFORMED BY: Linda Ronstadt
~ WORDS AND MUSIC BY: Karla Bonoff









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VISIT LUKE'S OTHER ANNIVERSARY PAGES





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SEE PHOTOS OF LUKE'S HEAVENLY FRIENDS





VISIT LUKE'S ANGEL FRIENDS PAGES





VISIT LUKE'S BRINGER OF LIGHT NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES









ANNIVERSARY GIFTS FOR LUKE

2016
15 years in Heaven










2015
14 years in Heaven




















2014
13 years in Heaven


















2013
12 years in Heaven













2012
11 years in Heaven











2011
10 years in Heaven






2010
9 years in Heaven





2009
8 years in Heaven














2008
7 years in Heaven





2007
6 years in Heaven







2006
5 years in Heaven





2005
4 years in Heaven






2004
3 years in Heaven





2003
2 years in Heaven





2002
1 year in Heaven















"VISIT WITH LUKE"

Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross


"MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU"

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GOODBYE MY FRIEND