Luke went to Heaven
April 3, 2001


21 years old
October 31, 1979 - April 3, 2001
Acute Bronchopneumonia
music playing: ANGEL


It was just a few weeks before Easter when Robin (Luke's Dad) and I left the house early on a Monday morning to take a little trip to northern Arizona, just 2 hours away, to our little mountain retreat. Luke was still sleeping when I left, so I went in his room and gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him goodbye. But he never knew this, because he was sleeping.

He got up that morning after we left and went off to work and worked a full day. He was really excited because his new business cards had come in and also he had just closed a big real estate deal. He called his sister everyday at 12:30 to say hey and see how she was doing. She always waited for his call. He called that day too. He went home after work to shower and change. That night he was meeting his friends at the sports bar to watch a pro basketball game on TV. He even had a $10 bet on the game. He called his friend at 7 p.m. to tell him he would be there soon. He never showed up.

In the meantime we were trying to reach him to see how his day at work went. He never answered the phone at home or his cell phone. We didn't think a whole lot of it, but we were a bit concerned.

That night at the cabin I had a dream that Luke was dying on the floor of our home. He was saying "Help me Mom, help me." I woke up, sat straight up in the bed, looked at the clock, it was 3:30 a.m. I thought, what a terrible nightmare. I dared not call him at 3:30 a.m., he would have though I had lost my mind.

So the next morning we tried to reach him, but we got no answer, and assumed he was just sleeping, because he was a very heavy sleeper. Later, still no answer, and then I KNEW, WITHOUTH A DOUBT, THAT LUKE WAS DEAD. I told my husband, I think Luke is dead. He looked at me and said what's the matter with you, why would you say such a thing. I said "I don't know, I just know that Luke is dead." I still don't know why or how I knew, but I KNEW!!!

We decided we had better go home. In the meantime we had his sister go home to check on him. His car was there, so we all knew something terrible was wrong. She would not go in because she feared the outcome and because I told her that she shouldn't go in. She called a friend to go in. Luke was found on the floor of his room, having been dead for about 18 hours (the exact time of my dream).

There was no evidence of why he died. He was just dead, leaning up against the side of his bed, like he was sleeping. There was no sign of a struggle and he looked as though he was in no pain. There were no drugs, no weapons, no apparent injuries, no blood, or anything as to why he had died. After the coroner left with Luke I turned the house upside down trying to find a reason as to why he died. I FOUND NOTHING, but shattered dreams.

It was six horrible weeks before we received the autopsy report from the coroners office...... Lucas Christopher Ross died of natural cause on April 3, 2001 from Acute Bronchopneumonia.

© 2014 Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2002


Tears fall and the sweet memories of Luke,
Flood through my consciousness so fast.
Just memories remain so I begin,

Our desperate search for Luke has ended,
He is in his room all alone.
We are speeding along so anxiously,
Trying so hard to get back home.

We seem to move down the road so slowly,
Through the warm and stale April night.
I hear only the hum of tires and stare,
Straight ahead at the red taillights.

The scene grips my soul as we park the car,
Home sweet home as never before,
The eerie shadows of bright flashing lights,
Police tape across the front door.

We want to go inside and see our son,
We're not allowed is what we're told.
We wait forever in the heat outside,
Although the desert seems so cold.

Murmurs and voices are muffled and drift,
Across the still dark desert air.
The hours of endless waiting linger,
As I go to my God in prayer.

I ache in the dark and lonely silence,
As I shed my own private tears.
While in my suffering mind I relive,
All of those fond wonderful years.

I finally enter the house alone,
My footsteps stop cold at his door.
My heart is heavy with sadness and pride,
I want to hold him just once more.

Luke's Dad joins me and together we stand,
Holding on to each otherís clutch.
We can only gaze in dull disbelief,
Because we're not allowed to touch.

Outside his only sister cries: "No Luke!"
As it echoes throughout the night.
I painfully watch the coroners van,
Until it is out of my sight.

We enter our home once again and search,
For answers of what took his life.
Nothing is found but shattered hopes and dreams,
Stabbing through our hearts like a knife.

Somehow morning arrives and seems to move,
At an unexplainable pace.
Suspended we make unbearable plans,
That time will not ever erase.

Oh my God! I just can not believe it,
Twenty-one years old and he's dead.
Numbness absorbs me and everything feels,
So misplaced in my mixed up head.

The autopsy is done and finally,
I touch his soft beautiful skin.
Within my chest is a horrible pain,
Because of the absence of him.

Final good-byes before his cremation,
We give him an eternal kiss.
Once more I ask God to please bring him back,
This is my last and only wish.

But my only wish is never granted,
Once again he's warm in my lap.
He's back home again but only ashes,
Oh when I will wake from this nap.

Family members arrive for his service,
They all come from so far away.
To honor our Lucas Christopher Ross,
On this his everlasting day.

We are gathered with loved ones and flowers,
Within a never yearned for place.
There are hugs and precious words of comfort,
As tears stream down each saddened face.

Now solemnly his friends fill the chapel,
As they each enter one by one.
Words and music then the service concludes,
The emptiness has just begun.

After endless weeks of waiting to know,
We get an answer to our why,
Pneumonia crept in and left him to stay,
All alone in his room to die.

Our little family is not apart,
In some strange unusual way.
We share Luke's imperishable spirit,
Each day after day after day.

Our love, dreams and unfading memories,
Still make us cry and make us laugh.
And the FOUR of us spend a lot of time,

© 2001 - Christine Ross
~in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


14 years in Heaven

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Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross


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